


Who We Are

by AGirIHasNoName



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Other, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 94,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8301638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGirIHasNoName/pseuds/AGirIHasNoName
Summary: Christen decides to quit Soccer after a serious injury, making a move across the country a few years after the incident to become an advisor at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Her morals were always on point until she meets their best soccer player, Tobin Heath, who changes her perspective on things.A lot of things.(Don't expect a story filled with Office Smut)





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that popped up during Fall Break so I gave it a go! I guess I'm new to this. So uh, hey. Have fun reading! Let me know if I should continue writing?

“I don’t know Christen, we’re talking about going across the country.” The brunette got on top of the suitcase resting on her bed and tried to zip up the suitcase below her but failed.

“A little help please?” Christen motioned Alex towards the suitcase, who sighed impatiently at her roommate’s silence. Once Alex zipped the suitcase up, Christen jumped off and immediately went into Alex for a long embrace. She could feel her roommate’s chin quiver though Alex knew better than to show her emotions and make herself feel powerless.

“Alex?” Christen hugged her tighter after not hearing a response causing Alex to react. Alex shut her eyes tightly to avoid any tears and finally spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“I will be fiiine.”

“But who’s going to protect you when you’re at North Carolina? Especially from the athletes? I heard those soccer boys are hot.” Alex sighed and pulled away from her best friend, running her hands through her hair then rested them on her hips. Despite how sad Alex was, she still managed to put a small smile on her face and crack a joke.

“You couldn’t just choose Stanford?”

Christen’s face turned sour, “Why would I go back to work for the school I spent five years at?”

Christen managed to finish her undergraduate degree a year early, taking on graduate level classes her senior year of undergrad that counted as credits towards her masters in counseling. After her years in Stanford, she spent two years overseas playing soccer and went back to the states to play soccer on the national level.

Now, Christen is in dire need of change. She was more than willing to accept the job offer from UNC to become an academic advisor and a learning specialist for the soccer athletes.

“Agreed.”

 They played against each other during college but played with each other on the national team. When they first met, Alex was intimidated and her instincts kicked in to be competitive for the spot she worked for since she was sixteen.

No matter how many times Alex tried to score rather than pass to Christen for a safer chance at goal, Christen still loved her teammate. She was genuinely happy for her and never wanted to compete with her.

In the end, they became an unstoppable force when finally deciding to work together. Well, before Christen quit Soccer.

After many years of travelling with her and rooming with Alex in hotels, they grew closer and closer together, a bond that slowly became unbreakable.

“It’s time for me to move on from Soccer Al.”

“I know. I wish you didn’t get hurt so many times.”

Shaking away the bad memories, Christen grabbed her friend to give her another strong hug.

“Facetime every night?”

Alex grinned, “Every night.”

\--

“So did you hear about the new advisor we have?” Allie juggled the ball and passed it towards Tobin, who naturally caught it and flicked it up to begin juggling.

“New advisor?” Tobin rested her hands on her hips as soon as Allie stopped juggling the ball to glare at her best friend. She was genuinely confused and waited on her friend to respond but she just continued to stare at her.

_What’d I do…_

“Harry, did you dip out early _again_ on the meeting we had last night?” Tobin chuckled nervously and began contemplating whether or not she should lie to her best friend.

_Go with the flow._

Tobin grinned, “Maaaybe?”

“Really?”

“Duty Called!” Tobin winked at her friend who grew more and more frustrated as the conversation went along but Tobin refused to let it ruin the mood.

“HARRY.”

“I know, but if only you just could see the picture she sent last night…” Tobin sighed and Allie started waving her hands hoping to stop Tobin from going on any further.

“Keep on at this rate and you might just become a sex addict Tobs.” Tobin smirked at the response.

“So who’s the new advisor?” Allie touched the ball once before sending the ball to the upper right side of the goal.

“Christen Press.” Allie sprinted towards the ball to retrieve it.

“Christen Press?” Tobin called out on her while messing with her nails. She heard Allie gasp and her head shot up, thinking something happened but nothing did. Once again, she found her best friend just staring at her.

_Now what…_

“THE Christen Press? All-time leading scorer for Stanford?” Tobin looked confused but Allie continued to press forward (no pun intended), “…broke records for number of assists and game winning goals? A recipient for the Hermann Trophy?”

“What’s your point?” Despite her reaction, Tobin’s curiosity started to seep into her mind, asking herself questions about “The Christen Press”.

_If she was so good, why isn’t she playing in the nwsl right now?_

_Why’d she stop?_

The curiosity only grew with the questions that ran through her mind.

“Jesus Harry, do you ever keep up with the news?” Tobin shrugged and walked over to her best friend, placing her hand on Allie’s shoulder.

“Harry… I don’t keep up with the news, they keep up with me.”

\--

The only thing that hurt Christen the most was saying goodbye to her closest friends, Kelley who met her at the airport and Alex. Their warm embrace made it much harder for her to say goodbye, making her doubt the decision of ever leaving them behind.

Once the plane landed, Christen shot out a text to their group message reassuring her best friends that she made it. Christen tried to grab her Nike duffel bag out from the top but couldn’t get it out. She tried yanking it, twisting it, but no strategy would work. She cursed under her breath and was about to get help until she heard her name called out.

“Chris?” Her heart practically leaped out her chest when she heard the familiar voice. She turned around quickly to see Meghan beaming at her.

“KLING. It’s been so long!!” Both of them tried to hug each other but couldn’t because of Kling’s carry on but laughed at their own struggles.

“Here, let me help…” Meghan pulled at the suitcase once and swiftly managed to bring it back down with her, “…What are you doing here!”

_Oh wait, she doesn’t know?_

After explaining the job offer and the big move, Kling was completely shocked.

“I mean. I know we beat you guys like two times in the championship… If you can’t beat them, join ‘em huh?” Christen laughed and nudged her former teammate as they walked together, “So why are you here?”

“C’mon Chris, you know I go to every home opener of the season with O’Reilly and Harris.” Christen was smiling the entire time. Now, she feels less tense knowing her teammates, _well former_ , will be there along her side.

“It’s going to be weird wearing your colors on the sideline, maybe I’ll find you there?”

“You know you always wanted to be a Tarheel.”

Christen stopped in her tracks at the comment and Kling did too, trying to keep a straight face but the both of them couldn’t hold the stare-down. Christen tried to hold back the laugh but exploded when Kling laughed first.

“Yeahhh because I want to be a Bull.”

Kling brought her arms up, “For the thousandth time Chris, it’s a RAM!” Both of them grabbed their suitcases laughing while catching up with each other. Her friend had an Uber waiting for her but Christen was thinking a Taxi would be waiting for her.

But there wasn’t.

“So,” Kling put her carryon into the trunk of her Uber and then followed the suitcase, “Where will you be staying?”

Christen ran her hand through her hair, something she always does when she gets nervous, “Well. I thought a Taxi would be waiting for me. But, it’s not like the west coast.”

She started flipping a bunch of papers in her hand trying to find the name of the hotel she was supposed to check into, “I think… it’s a Hyatt?”

“Nonsense, you’re coming with me.”

“Oh Meghan, it’s okay. Really, it’s temporary. I can just—“

“Shut it Press.”

Christen opened her mouth again but closed it knowing with Kling, one just needs to accept defeat.

\--

_First day. I can do this._

She looked into the mirror of Meghan’s suv as she talked to herself, trying to get herself ready for the first big day at work. Christen decided to go with a button down, stark white collared shirt with rolled up sleeves and a black pencil skirt.

She put her heels on and stepped out the car, feeling the cold breeze hit her face.

That’s the beauty of Carolina weather, as Kling would say, the bright sun and the constant breeze with barely any clouds. She breathed in the smell of Fall weather in North Carolina as she made her way towards the McCaskill center to meet the team.

The scent of the trees that were _everywhere_ on campus, seeing the bright autumn leaves that emerged from the tall trees. Fall in Cali is nothing compared to the season in North Carolina.

It was practically nonexistent.

_You need change._

Christen ran her fingers through the natural curls and straightened out her pencil skirt out before going in. Upon entering the building, she was greeted by an Office clerk and was given directions towards the conference room.

Christen found herself comparing the luxuries in this place to the Stanford commodities. The two story building was dedicated only to the soccer athletes, giving them their own locker rooms, theater room for watching tape, and even computer labs. She went up the glass stairs and was immediately introduced to some serious history. What decorated the left wall was all the achievements that came through the program.

_20 ACC championships won of 27 years in which tournaments were held._

_22 of 36 NCAA Champions won in 37 years._

Nineteen players in the past twenty-six years were chosen to compete on the national level. At the very end of the wall, she spotted Heathers, Whitney, Ashlyn, and Klingenberg’s picture. Never has Christen felt any prouder of her friends.

She found the conference room at the end of the hallway, hearing a distant chatter from all the players. Christen felt her hands clam up, her nerves starting to kick into gear.

_What if they don’t like me? Well shit, I’m Christen Press. Who doesn’t like me?_

Once again, Christen took a deep breath before walking into the room that suddenly went quiet. She smiled and walked over to the head coach who began shaking his head.

“It’s an honor sir.” He laughed and shook her hand, “Christen Press. Never would I have thought a Stanford graduate would come into my program. Especially after 2009.”

Christen remembered that day vividly, losing to the Tarheels by one goal. She joked back, “C’mon coach, we both know that O’Hara wasn’t offsides that day. Should’ve went into Overtime.”

She heard a few girls laugh and a few others started whispering, wondering if what they’re hearing is actually true.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Press. Everyone, please welcome your new Academic Advisor. Even though she is a Cardinal, gotta still treat her with respect. Afterall, she will be handling the academic side of your lives.”

Everyone started clapping and cheering her on. She already felt at home, grinning from ear to ear as she scanned the room. Though, her eyes hit this one particular girl who stood in the middle of the group of girls.

She had her arms crossed over to her chest, eyes narrowed in on Christen’s. The eye contact was relatively short but her heart pounded through her chest once the contact was made. She cleared her throat and clasped her hands behind her back out of habit.

“As all of you may know, my name is Christen Press…” She looked over at the girl who stood tall and her pulse readily quickened at the sight so she cleared her throat again, “…As coach Dorrance said, I will be handling the academia. I am looking forward to working with all of you.”

She looked over at the coach and nodded, “Alright, now let’s show her what it’s like being a Tar Heel girls.”

Everyone cheered on the coach at the comment, laughing along with the other Coaches. All the athletes introduced themselves and slowly, the room started clearing out. Though, the same athlete that caught her eye was now leaning against the back wall of the conference room.

Pushing off the wall with a smirk, the athlete made her way towards the glass door Christen came through.

_Is she not going to introduce herself? Should I? What. Okay, she’s getting closer but doesn’t look like she is going to say anything._

What happened next was like a knee jerk reaction to the thoughts coursing through Christen’s mind. Christen brought her arm out to stop the soccer player from going out the door, grabbing onto her upper arm.

Tobin suddenly tensed up as if she was never touched by a girl before. She has been, but never has she felt her heart flutter like a girl crushing on a boy in elementary school at any type of contact.

The new advisor smiled at Tobin, who returned a grin of her own. Christen’s eyes fell towards her lips and found their way back quickly towards the sharp eyes.

_Perfect teeth. Wow. Get it together Christen._

“Not going to introduce yourself?”

_Okay she’s talking to me. Totally normal. Be cool tobs._

“Uh…” Tobin started rubbing the back of her neck, “I’m Tobin Heath, I play soccer here.”

_Jesus Christ, ‘I play soccer here’. Obviously, she knows. God Tobin, what the actual fuck._

Christen chuckled, “Oh yeah?”

At this point, Tobin wanted to crawl into a cave and never come out. She was so embarrassed but continued to dig herself into a deeper hole of embarrassment.

“Yeah, senior year. Last year.”

_She knows this information YOU IDIOT!!_

Christen tilted her head to the side while grinning, “What position?”

_Wait, does she?_

Tobin started getting antsy, stuffing her hands into her sweatpants before answering. Something about this Christen Press has Tobin Heath off her game.

“Well, I’ve been playing at left midfield all years here but they needed me attacking at center mid so I switched and…” Tobin put her head down and laughed at herself, “I’m rambling.”

“No, it’s cute.”

_Wait what?_

_What the hell did I just say?_

What came out of her mouth shocked the both of them but only one of them felt the heat rise up her neck. Christens eyes widened and her hand came up to her mouth, “Ahhh I’m so sorry, completely unprofessional. But—“

Tobin shook her hands in front of her, “No, it’s fine.”

“Really, won’t happen again.”

Tobin rushed to answer again but punched Christen’s shoulder laughing, “No really, it’s fine.”

_Why did I just punch her shoulder._

“Yeah…”

There was an awkward silence between the two but Christen could have sworn she saw the hint of red on her neck, completely disregarding the matter.

“I should probably head to the office, get situated.” Tobin breathed out a shaky laugh, hand finding its way back to her neck. “Yeah, yeah I should probably too.”

Christen tilted her head to the side confused and Tobin backed off, “The field, I meant FIELD.”

_Fuck. My. Life._

“Yeah, good luck!” Tobin turned around on her heels and walked quickly towards the other door, cursing at herself from how _un_ -smooth that went. Christen turned around to go through the glass door behind her but realized one thing, she doesn’t know where the office is.

“WAIT!”

Tobin froze at the sound and slowly turned around.

“What’s up Christen? I mean, Ms. Press.” Christen’s face contorted as she walked towards her. The conference room was pretty big, she watched Christen walk towards her, swinging her hips in confidence while walking in her pointy heels.

_Yes, I called them pointy._

“Please, no, call me Christen. Making me feel old. Do you mind helping me to my Office?”

 _Oh man, far from old. Beautiful._ Tobin bit her tongue at the thought scared that she would say it, “Yeah, I can.”

The walk to office was short but long at the same time since neither one of them said a word. Christen just followed the lanky figure walk. She couldn’t help but scan the girl’s body which was something Christen has never done given the fact that she has never been attracted to a girl. But, something about Tobin struck a wave of something inside Christen’s body that confused her.

Tobin was different. A mystery waiting to be unlocked. And anyone who knows Christen well, would know she loves mysteries.

And dogs.

The soccer player suddenly stopped, knocking Christen out of her deep thoughts once she turned around. Apparently, she was talking but Christen was not even listening.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Tobin chuckled, “I said that my guess would be that this is your office since this was the last advisors place.”

Christen put her hands on her hips, examining the room that overlooked the stadium.

“So this is me.”

Tobin just nodded her head and started backing up, “I guess I’ll see you around.”

Christen just nodded at her, not doing anything else. Not knowing what to do at this point.

“Yep…” Tobin said right before she turned around and walked out. Once she was out of sight, Christen was finally able to able to breath.

_What a first day Chris._

\--

“Let’s go Tarheels, let’s go!” The crowd stomped on the stands as the defenders stopped a Hokies attack. The ball was cleared out of the box and found its way towards Tobin near the center of the field.

_Alright Tobs, you can do this._

Before Tobin trapped the ball, she caught a glimpse at the scoreboard reading 87:29. The clock was ticking away and the soccer player knew that this could be their last drive to breaking the tie and winning the game.

Tobin trapped the ball and twisted her hips, advancing forward from the outside. Allie read her mind as Tobin sprinted along the edge of the field, knowing where to run. Two players were collapsing on her from her side and ahead but it brought no fear in her.

_Alright, breathe in breathe out. She’s coming, cut right. It’ll leave an opening for a perfect pass through the defenders._

Almost 50 meters away from the goal was when Tobin performed a strong cut to the inside of the field, freezing the midfielder who was closing in from her right in place and Allie signaled a pass forward.

_The defender is so out of position._

With careful precision, Tobin delivered the perfect strong pass to the left side past the outer defender, Allie sprinting right after it. Tobin sprinted toward the middle of the box because that’s exactly what Allie would want her to do.

Her adrenaline was pumping through her veins while playing the kind of game that Tobin lives for. It was like everything from this point forward was played in slow motion.

From when Allie who beat the defender who attempted to run back but was too late, got control of the ball.

From when she gave Tobin the perfect strong pass 35 meters out from the goal and three meters out from Tobin’s foot.

From when Tobin took that one big step in and…

Nothing else mattered at this point. In Tobin’s mind, there wasn’t two defenders coming at her to block her kick. There wasn’t anything in this world, no player…that could stop her from ripping the ball into the goal.

There was a goal and a ball on Tobin’s mind.

Get the ball into the upper ninety.

And that is _exactly_ what Tobin did. Stepping forward, she leaned back enough and delivered. She ripped the ball with both precision and power, releasing all that adrenaline onto the ball.

Kicking that ball as if it was her last time doing it.

The whole crowd held their breath as they saw the ball in slow motion just like Tobin is seeing it curve right…

Into…

The upper Ninety.

_Swish._

The ball spun against the corner of the net, rolling to the back of the net before falling to the grass. That’s when you know you really did just deliver through with the kick. Afterall, that is why coach Dorrance brought her into the program.

He saw the potential and an elite athlete.

The crowd roared back to life, Tobin sprinted towards Allie to share her celebration. Jumping onto her best friend who caught her, Tobin immediately wrapped her strong legs around her waist and started fist pumping into the air.

“Tobin Heath did it again! Scoring at the 89th minute, the Tarheels take the lead with just under a minute to go!”

Allie hugged her as every attacking player on the team sprinted towards the two to celebrate. Jumping off, Tobin started answering the high fives coming her way, looking at the score board which read 89:23 - 2-1.

She couldn’t stop smiling while looking at the score board as she jogged back towards her position, bracing for the change in strategy. Except she knew that her coach will sub her out and ofcourse, he did.

The whole crowd started clapping for the star of their team, happy and content. Tobin brought her arm up and started waving to the crowd as she jogged towards the sign that read her number slowly, wanting to give her team a breather. High fiving the girl being subbed in; Tobin was immediately welcomed with cheerful comments from her teammates.

She was still full of energy despite playing almost ninety minutes of the game, as if it didn’t even phase her. Still relishing over how _perfect_ she delivered the strike, Tobin leaned back against the bench and watched her teammates defend home.

And from the corner of her eye, she saw Christen Press was on the sideline walking towards her direction. Suddenly, she felt a swarm of butterflies starting to frantically fly around in her stomach. She felt the urge to run towards the other direction, hoping to not stammer and trip over her own feet at the sight.

Even in a pair of Khakis and a tight baby blue, customized long sleeve shirt, Christen Press still looked amazing. The Khakis hugged her hips, showing the perfect curves of her academic advisor. This time, she had her hair pulled up, exposing the strong, rigid jawline of hers.

Tobin’s jaw practically dropped as she marveled in the sight that stood before her. The fluorescent lights even made her look good.

 _Anything,_ made her look good.

Tobin swallowed nervously as she willed herself up to talk to the advisor who finally reached her destination.

Christen breathed in deeply before speaking up, “So. You won’t be able to score that goal again if you don’t get that grade up in Micro-Economics.”

_Wait, what?_

Tobin gave her a nervous, _huge_ smile while trying to speak but her facial expression said it all. She frowned with her eyebrows, smiled because that’s what she does, and gave a look of clear and utter confusion.

_Really?_

_I can’t believe she’s falling for this._ Christen couldn’t actually believe it, “Judging by your facial expression, you actually believe me…”

Tobin nervously laughed. Not like any other person would typically laugh when the rock on your chest is lifted off, but a loud, prolonged laugh. She stopped laughing and rubbed her neck, “Ya got me there Press.”

“Yeah… I think I did. That was a beautiful goal. You two worked like me and—” Before Christen could finish the sentence, she stopped herself by biting her lower lip. She began reminiscing on the old times, where her and Alex played like they read each other’s minds while running an attack.

She looked into Tobin’s eyes, refusing to show any kind of regret in her decision to retire so early.

_There’s so much more to life than Soccer Chris, you’ll be fine._

The words of her sister rung through her head, where she was lying in the medical trainer’s room, knee completely covered in ice and wrap in attempt to mask the pain. She brought her hands up to her eyes, hoping to push back the tears that unwillingly came out.

_“I don’t know if I can do it.”_

Her sister leaned down and gave Christen a kiss on her forehead, “Ofcourse you can.”

Tobin’s voice brought her back to reality.

“…Me and…?” Tobin was curious because she knew nothing about Christen Press, _absolutely nothing_. She smiled and did that thing that Tobin noticed the advisor would do when she’s put in a tough position except started messing with the end of her pony tail.

In other words, when she’s nervous.

“Nobody.”

“So me and nobody?” The sweaty soccer player was able to get a laugh out of the girl who changed from being lighthearted to closed in. The laugh itself was intoxicating, making Tobin forget what breathing even was.

“Exactly that Tobin,” Christen got closer to Tobin only to walk past her but it still made Tobin’s heart beat faster than she was on the pitch. Their arms brushed and she felt warmth spread through her chest, something she knew she shouldn’t have been feeling when touched by her advisor.

_Get it together Tobs._

Christen stopped and patted the player’s shoulder, “Great game played Tobin, and an even greater goal.” The smell of her passing by just messed with Tobin’s head. She stayed in the same spot Christen left her in, dumbfounded.

_Whatever happened to getting it together, Tobs…_

After she left was when the Referee whistled the game to be over. She turned around to see her advisor talking to a player that used to be a star defender on the team back when she was a freshman.

“Dear god, what was that?” Tobin was interrupted by Allie who stood behind her, “THAT WAS AMAZING.”

_Thank god she wasn’t talking about the interaction with the advisor._

Tobin chuckled as she went in to embrace her best friend who spoke back up, “We need to celebrate.”

“That, we do. But, I think I’m gonna turn in tonight.”

 _But really,_ all she wanted to do was Google the name that has been stuck on her mind.

Christen. Press.

\--

“So you still don’t want to be a Tarheel?” Klingenberg took a sip of her wine as Christen played with her new puppy, Ace.

“Kling, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m a Cardinal at heart, a Tarheel on the job.” Her friend threw a pillow at her and the puppy who playfully reacted by jumping towards Meghan.

“Yeah yeah, you suck.” There was a silence that took over the room as Christen stared into the fire at the end of Meghan’s home. Something she will never get used to is that smell of firewood when burning. Something, tells her she is gonna get used to this quick.

Her mind ventured towards Tobin and the amazing goal she scored, causing her to be the next topic of the night. Before speaking back up, Christen drank the rest of her whiskey, enjoying the burn that followed.

“So, what’s so special about Tobin Heath?”

Her former teammate almost immediately replied, “She’s supposed to be joining us after she graduates and gets her degree. Chris, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Christen scoffed, thinking of herself and the integral plays she made on the pitch.

“Again, you suck. I know you thought of yourself.”

“Did not?” Chris innocently brought her hands up before reaching for the whiskey on the glass table and pouring another glass.

“Nah, she’s special. Did you not see the way she moved? She played like a professional. Like, you.” The last words rung through Christen’s mind and undoubtedly enjoyed the idea of how Meghan saw a striking similarity between the two.

Tobin played with the same exact drive Christen played with, maybe even more. Every single minute of the game was played with heart and poured her own soul into the regular season game. Exactly, the way Christen played.

At the same time, she enjoyed every minute.

“Yeah, except I’m better.” This time, Kling scoffed at the remark.

“Please, you’re nothing but an old bird.”

Christen frowned, “Old?”

“Old.”

Christen enjoyed the time she spent with her friend but knew she had to turn in for the night. Except, it really wasn’t turning in.

“Alright Kling,” Christen put Ace into his tiny bed and took her glass of whiskey, kissing Meghan’s forehead. “Time for this old grandma to sleep.”

She slept in the guest bedroom of Meghan’s condo. The room itself was as big as half the apartment her and Alex used to live in. She put her cup of whiskey on the bedside table before taking off her pants, leaving her in just a Nike tank and her Nike Pro compression shorts.

Going over to her suitcase, she pulled out her MacBook and finally, got in the stark white bed.

_It actually feels like a hotel room._

Opening up her mac, she went to safari. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, willing herself to go to google.com.

Her eyes narrowed in on the blinking cursor while taking a gulp of her strong drink, “Who are you Tobin Heath.”

Really, she just wanted to see the stats of the humble soccer player and where she’s from.

“Holy shit.”

\--

Tobin got to her apartment and opened the door, a cold breeze hitting her face. It was dark but she kept all the lights off since they weren’t necessary. She walked straight towards the restroom and turned on the cold water of the tub. Making her way to the fridge, Tobin a few beers and a bottle opener before getting to her room.

It was quiet since most students were out celebrating the win. Normally, she would be too. But for some reason, she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was missing.

Her mind wandered towards Christen Press and the statement she made, the one she stopped herself from finishing. Tobin knew she held back on the good times to not feel any sort of regret coming from a big decision.

But, what exactly is that decision?

Tobin shook her head and stripped out of everything but her sports bra and spandex shorts. She retrieved the beers and went back into the restroom.

“Two thirds of the way, good enough.” Tobin put her things down and went to grab a bag of ice she always keeps in her freezer. That’s all she ever kept in there – ice, ice packs, and icecream.

Good thing Allie and her can’t cook.

She poured in the ice and waited a few before hopping in, grabbing her laptop and beer with her.

No matter how many times she did this, she could never get used to the cold ice hitting her body. Tobin eased herself down, shivering at the feeling but felt so glorious against her tired muscles. She popped open the beer and took a few, long swigs before getting on her laptop.

“Who are you really Ms.Press.”

>Safari

With no doubt in her mind, she googled the very name that has her tripping.

Christen. Press.

Videos popped up and ofcourse, statistics. She looked at the headshot from last season with the Chicago red stars.

Ofcourse, it was beautiful. Her eyes drew to the videos on youtube that one, marked her famous goals. Two, her statistics at Stanford and Chicago. And three, the season ending injury for Christen Press.

The stats were exactly what Allie said they are. Tobin was surprised at how skilled Christen really was. She capped 21 goals and lead the team in assists for the 2015 season. This was the damage she dealt before she got hurt.

She had the most time played on the pitch for the red stars.

The soccer player starting mumbling to herself the questions that popped up in her head.

“Why’d you ever quit?”

Tobin swiped left to go back to all the links, double tapping her mousepad to go the videos that she saw pop up.

The time that the video was uploaded was a year ago, which caused a shaky breath coming out of Tobin’s mouth before taking another sip of her beer. She hovered the cursor over the video and her finger hesitantly tapped the trackpad, playing the video.

She can hear the cheering for Christen Press as she passed the ball perfectly to her teammate, Julie Johnston, who chipped it over the defenders for her teammate.

_Give and go, classic._

Christen sprinted towards the ball and man, was she fast.

_Faster than me._

The play gave her goosebumps from how swift it was. Christen was now in the goal box and it was one on one with the goalie. Tobin started getting excited in the cold water but she knew something bad was about to happen.

And it did.

The goalkeeper made the mistake of rushing out the goalbox to stop Christen but she knew better. She faked a kick and pushed the ball to the right, hoping to sidestep the goalkeeper but she was too late.

Her entire lower leg was caught under the heavy, built body of the goalie. She could hear Christen screaming in agony as her leg bent awkwardly to the inside. She fell forward, grabbing her knee, immediately seeing.

She couldn’t watch the video anymore but she saw three more videos pop up. Tobin didn’t realize it but she drank through a whole beer. She grabbed another and popped off the cap, immediately scrolling to the comments of the video.

_Does anyone know what she specifically did to the knee?_

One reply read:

_She tore all ligaments in her left knee. The fourth to last game of the regular season…_

“Holy shit.”

He went on but Tobin couldn’t read nor look at the video again. It was gruesome, something no player should ever experience. But, Tobin looked back at the three other videos.

_One was titled, Second Concussion suffered for Chicago’s Christen Press._

_The other, Torn ACL for one of the stars in national game USA vs Colombia._

_The last, Torn Achilles in the right foot for star Christen Press._

Tobin slammed her laptop shut and put it on the small table next to the tub, closing her eyes and leaning her head back on the tile.

She was unable to stop thinking about her new advisor and her injuries up until Allie swung open the bathroom door, completely surprising Tobin.

“So you chose this over going out with me?”

\--

 

 


	2. The First Session

“Okay, so she told me my paper was ass.” Allie brought her knee up to her chest and stretched it out, completely unbothered and very nonchalant. Tobin didn’t believe her while they warmed up, “I doubt she put it that way.”

“No really, she said that and oh ‘Allie, I really think you should read the excerpt before you start a paper…’ like what?”

Tobin rolled her eyes, “It’s what happens when you don’t READ what you are supposed to write _about_ Harry.” Allie shook her head as they finished their final stretch before starting their daily routine.

Ever since Freshman year, the two of them always got together before their day of classes to practice their footwork or passing. These sessions no doubt strengthened the chemistry between the two making them a force to be reckoned with.

“I did read.”

“We both know you didn’t.”

“And to think you are my best friend…” Allie and Tobin laid down the ladders about 30 meters away from the goal. Tobin stuck her tongue out at the remark, “You know I don’t sugar coat things.”

The two started their first drill where they would kick the ball forward and start the ickey shuffle, doing a trick at the very end then passing to each other. For the final step, they would both take a shot at the upper ninety’s.

After running the drill three times, they switched to different footwork and agility drills – river dance, carioca, cross-over run… you name it. They did it all and it was just a warm up for the two, figuratively speaking ofcourse. Thirty minutes later, Allie drank some water before speaking up again while setting three cones down in a triangle, “So how’d your session go with her?”

 _Well._  

“I mean…” Tobin walked towards where the balls were to retrieve them, “I mean, it went _okay…_ ”

Allie gave her a perplexed look while knitting her eyebrows together at the same time, “What do you mean ‘ _okay’,_ give me details. Knowing you, you’re probably head over heels for this girl.”  
Tobin shrugged, _I’m getting there,_ “Nah, I’m not. So, we started out by…”

\--

“Ohhh-kay, our first session together.” Christen gave Tobin a huge grin, scooting her chair forward and then leaned over her wooden desk, clasping her hands together. Tobin took a deep breath, _oh boy._

“Yep, how exciting?” Tobin chuckled at her attempt in showing some sort of sarcasm to lighten the air. The attempt worked since Christen laughed, making the soccer player to squirm in her seat just hearing it. Tobin always tries makes a joke out of anything when she is nervous. And always, the advisor never fails to make Tobin feel nervous.

Her p _resence_ alone just moves Tobin.

_Goddamnit Tobs, get it together._

“Sarcasm is on point. So let’s seeeee…” Christen turned to her computer on her right to look at Tobin’s information before speaking back up, “You have a paper due Friday… In art?”

“Yeah, it’s a joke.” Christen frowned at Tobin’s comment, showing disappointment.

“No class is ever a joke, even if it’s art.”

 _Oh god, she’s serious._ Tobin wanted to just slap herself on the neck, _it’s your advisor stupid!_ A slap on the neck was always something Allie would always do when she would say something dumb. _God, I wish you were here Harry._

Instead, she slid down her seat trying to hide from the advisor who suddenly turned serious.

“Well yeah, but you know… I’m just saying, it’s not _as_ important as my other classes per se—” Christen frowned again, looking more disappointed and Tobin immediately switched directions while making erratic arm motions, “It’s important, I-meant-to-say- _as_ important as… I already finished it?”

Christen’s face lit up when Tobin finished the sentence, _ten points for Gryffindor!_

_Wait… Hufflepuff is what Harry decided on. God, that smile._

Tobin’s eyes dropped towards the advisor’s lips just to get a glimpse of how _perfect_ , as Tobin would describe it, her smile is.

 _Look back up, look back up!!_ Tobin’s mind willed her widened eyes to look back up towards her advisor.

 _I have to make her smile again. Wait, what?_ Tobin was confused at her own thoughts; _why do I want to?_

Christen cleared her throat, clearly seeing the soccer player struggling but didn’t mind it. The weird thing is, Christen enjoyed the attention she received from the other end. And when Tobin swiped her tongue across her lips before looking back up to speak, Christen quickly looked away towards her computer.

_She liked it._

“So! Let’s read it?”

\--

“…We talked about our paper Harry. It’s not a big deal.” Tobin tried to explain to her friend in the secpmd break, trying to get out of explaining what truly happened.

“Oh so it’s _our_ paper now?” Allie put her hands on her hips, questioning her best friend on the choice of wording.

“MY paper…” Tobin sighed after waiting a minute in hopes that her friend would stop glaring at her, “Fine… There was the printer.”

“Oh god.”

\--

Christen stared at the printer, Tobin quiet and remained observant knowing what was about to go down: Christen vs Printer.

_Who will win?_

_Okay, I can do this._

_Definitely the printer._

Christen is tech savvy. She knew how to handle printers but this one printer, just decided to not work. _There has to be something wrong with this stupid printer_ , she thought.  She tried everything in her power to unjam it and in the end, she just did what any other person would do as a last resort.

_Just smack the shit out of it Chris._

_She’s totally about to hit it…_

And she did.

_1-0 Printer._

Tobin couldn’t hold back the laugh as she watched her frustrated advisor struggle solving the problem everyone has. It still wouldn’t work, “Oh, you think this is funny? “

 “I actually do,” Tobin got up and walked around the desk, “Allow me…” Tobin walked closer to Christen who had her back against the desk, their bodies inches away from each other. She could feel the heat radiating off of the flustered body of her advisor as she reached around her.

Christen tried to move but froze, wishing she could back up but she _couldn’t._ She could’ve, but didn’t.

She just watched Tobin get closer and closer, unable to say anything. Her mind was speaking, but her tongue wouldn’t. She licked her lips, catching the way Tobin’s eyes would drop just like they would every time she would smile or laugh.

And every… single time, Tobin would catch herself staring and immediately look the other way, biting her lip this time.

_Which was so attractive._

The soccer player breathed in deeply as she leaned over Christen, looking to the right at the window to avoid any eye contact as she fiddled with the printer.

“It’s like…”

After trying to fiddle with it blindly, Tobin just could not do it. She knew she had to look past Christen to see the printer so she could do the trick her past advisor taught her.

_Fuck me._

Tobin cursed at herself for putting herself in this position, the proximity between the two _tore_ her stomach up. Her heart pumped faster, her mind driving her to push past how her body reacts after any contact with Christen.

Tobin slowly turned her head towards the printer, their cheeks grazing each other a little, causing a chill to run down her spine at the contact.

Christen looked up at the ceiling, praying to god this moment would end. Not because this whole moment was just uncomfortable for her, but rather because she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what she was feeling.

Nervous maybe? No… Whatever it was she was trying to hide; it became increasingly unbearable.

“This.”

After being able to see what she was doing, Tobin finally got her right hand at the correct position in the old printer. Tobin pushed forward to apply pressure, getting closer…well, into Christen.

She was so close. So close that she can tell what the scent of her perfume is, twisting Tobin’s stomach even harder because she smelled _so… good._

_Lavender?_

Their bodies were touching and this moment alone made breathing very hard for the both of them.

Tobin practically stopped breathing.

With one quick and rough motion of her hand, the paper started printing.

_It’s only been a week since the game._

Christen’s shoulders dropped in defeat. She started laughing softly into Tobin’s ear, who shuddered in response, stuffing her clammy hands into the pockets of her sweats.

“You’re gonna have to teach me that one day Tobin Heath.”

Tobin now took a few steps back, trying to forget the sound of her contagious laugh in her ear and flashed Christen that glorious smile of hers, “Aren’t you the one who is supposed to teach me Christen Press?”

“Fair enough, at this rate…” Christen sat down and smiled at Tobin who sat back down, refusing to acknowledge her pounding heart, “I think we’ll be teaching each other a lot of things.”

_Where did that even come from Chris…?_

~

“It was weird Alex.” Christen facetimed her best friend in her office, “I never felt so…” Christen sighed and ran her hands through her hair, leaning back against her seat. “Alive. My heart was about to beat out my chest when she leaned in closer… I don’t know. This is so unlike me.”

Christen got up with her phone, staring outside the large window, spotting the two girls training.

“Say something before I freak out.”

Alex laughed, “It’s totally normal Chris. You haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

_I’ve never been with any girl…_

“Just look at her,” Christen switched to the front camera, “There’s something about her.”

“I can’t see her or what they’re doing Chris.”

“Right _._ ” She watched Tobin kick a ball into the upper ninety with ease then sat down next to the teammate who gave the perfect pass that lead to a goal. Christen began shaking her head before turning to sit down, switching to the front camera for Alex to see her.

“Some things she said in the session Al… It made me feel like the decision I made was really the right one. It’s been four days since that day. We’re travelling to New York too.”

Christen looked away and started rubbing the scars of her surgery on her knee subconsciously as she stared ahead. Alex gave her a puzzled look, “What’d she say to make you say that?”

\--

“WHAAAAT,” Allie shrieked, shoving Tobin’s side. “Tobin, that sounds like a presage to–”

“Don’t even finish what you’re about to say…” Tobin shook her head, “She’s my advisor. I shouldn’t be so…”

“Star struck?”

_Yes. Wait, no. God, yes._

Tobin quickly responded to her bestfriend, “No…” She considered what she said but shook her head, refusing to agree out loud once again, “No. I just, pushed her back to some dark times.”

Allie got more serious after Tobin finished, “Why’d you do it? What’d you even say?”

Tobin rolled the ball in her hands, looking ahead and not at her best friend.

_I wanted answers._

“We were talking about my paper…”

\--

“Just talk about your feelings, how the art speaks to you.” Christen wrote down what she told Tobin on the white board. She turned around to see the athlete writing down the points so she pushed forward, “What is the message you’re seeing in this?”

Christen leaned against her desk in front of Tobin who straightened up in her seat.

Tobin chose a girl falling into an ocean with a city full of lights at the bottom of the ocean. She randomly picked this out of all the digital works on Pintrest because well, it’s an art elective she needed and doesn’t really care about.

Which by the way, is a detail Tobin _made sure_ to leave out. She wonders how Christen would react knowing how she chose the work she was supposed to write about.

_Nope, don’t tell her._

Tobin never talked about her feelings that were brought out from looking at the picture. All she talked about was the emphasis of the colors used and what the picture was.

She basically summarized a picture, which she came to find out that Christen _hates_ it when she sees that in papers.

“I just thought… I don’t know, our ends are our beginnings. We fall,” Tobin looked down to her paper, “… _like this girl,_ and it’s up to us to get back up again. It’ll open doors like to this city but…” Tobin laughed before looking up at her Advisor, “I don’t know, you gotta get back up again. You know?”

Christen narrowed her eyes, clearly seeing the underlying message that Tobin was trying to send. Noone has ever doubted her decision of quitting soccer, let alone bringing it back up to her. It’s only been what, a year?

_Look down Tobin, stop staring. Just look away. Jesus, those eyes…_

_She definitely googled me. But damn, is she right?_

Christen spoke up after a solid minute of silence, her voice barely above a whisper. “But what if you fell down so hard, that it broke you?”

Tobin’s eyes shot back up, realizing how much weight is behind that statement alone. Tobin felt the pain coming through those words, especially Christen’s eyes.

She wanted to help her but held back. Given the fact that she was never put in the position that Christen has been in, she didn’t know how.

Her silence spooked Christen, making her to speak up again. “You know, what if that can be your counter argument. How would you link the… piece to that?”

Tobin cleared her throat before speaking up maybe a second later to answer her first question, “ _Hope_ ,” Tobin was trying. I mean, really. She was.

“She’s falling into a city. Literally, even in the darkest part of the ocean, there’s a city. You need to have hope through the journey of recovery and look past the hurt _._ Not just give up.”

Christen didn’t speak up, maybe blinked twice. Her breathing became slower as she thought about the words. How could a session about a paper turn around and bite her in the ass?

_What do I say to this? She doesn’t even know me._

Tobin’s face reddened, she didn’t know if she should break the eye contact and just look away or say something.

_SAY SOMETHING!!!_

They didn’t sting, her words that is. Christen was just shocked, in disbelief, staring at Tobin.

_Professionalism, Jesus Christ._

“Well,” Christen was the one to break the silence yet again, “Put that on the paper then.”

Tobin opened her mouth to speak up, apologize if anything, but Christen spoke up again.

“But,” The advisor brought her finger up to stop the soccer player from talking, “Try not to talk about your advisor in the paper, will you?”

Tobin tried to speak up again, wanting to for sure apologize, but Christen again waved her off, “Rather than _googling me_ , you could’ve just asked. Next time, ask. It’s that simple.”

Christen pushed off her desk and started to make her way out the tight spot and what happened next was just—

\--

“Insane. She just grabbed my hand and I swear,” _The feeling I got was electrifying,_ “My whole body just froze. Like, I couldn’t even take another step.”

Alex was so deep into the story and couldn’t hold back on the questions, “Well!?! What happened!!”

Christen laughed so hard at how Alex was so curious, “She said…”

\--

“I’m sorry,” Tobin acted on instinct, grabbing her hand to stop her from going any further. She didn’t know what she was doing but it felt right, pressing forward. “I had to…” _ease my curiosity._

The moment their hands touched, Tobin felt like her whole world was spinning on its axis 10 times faster.

“See who ‘The Christen Press’ was and I tried to see what the big hype was. You’re literally the lockerroom talk. I googled you, yes. And you know, I saw the replays of the injuries and I just wondered why you…”

Christen raised one eyebrow, completely forgetting that Tobin was still holding her hand, _better choose your words wisely Tobin._

“Quit so fast,” Tobin realized she was still holding her warm hand, “I wanted to atleast beat you once.”

 _Did she really just say that?_ Tobin let go of her hand grinning. Christen sat down and sighed at her computer, “You wouldn’t even have a chance Tobin Heath.”

_Uh…_

“Is that a challenge?” Tobin grinned, feeling her heart skip multiple beats. “Maybe you forgot who I am but…”

“Yes, you’re the queen of nutmegs and master of scoring goals.”

“Right. And I’m Tobin Heath.”

“Queen of nutmegs.”

“That is right. You googled me too?” They both started laughing, trying to avoid any eye contact. The conversation happened so quick and there was no longer any tension felt between the two of them.

“Christen?” Tobin put her head down, avoiding any eye contact.

“What’s up?”

Tobin stayed silent because she felt like her throat was closing in on her. She closed her eyes and urged her eyes to find their way back to Christen.

“I know it may seem like I disagree with how fast you let go the sport you love…”

_Where is she going with this?_

_God, keep going Tobs. Just say it._

“But, your decision…It brought you here. To _me_. Call it crazy but, I think this is _your_ ‘city of light’ under water.”

Christen stopped drumming her fingers on her desk once she heard those words. This girl she barely even knows just continues to leave her completely and utterly speechless. This meant so much for her. Finally, she felt like her decision of coming here was the right one made.

_Meeting Tobin._

_Is it really fate?_

Christen smiled softly at the athlete and her own thought, “Thank you.”

Tobin just hummed along and looked up from her paper, “Can’t you just write my paper for me? I’m so bad at this stuff…”

“And get myself fired?” Christen put the paper away before looking back up, smiling at the girl in front of her, “Besides, we got all semester to work on that.”

_Yeah… a whole semester._

“Yep. How exciting?”

\--

Alex looked so stunned, it was priceless. She looked more stunned than the moment the Swedish goalkeeper blocked her PK in the Olympics. Christen, who by the way, remained silent, refusing to speak up.

“I never would have thought their best player would be this… poetic.” Alex laughed at her own joke, “Christen, all jokes aside… You can’t catch feelings for this girl.”

Christen sighed, she knew it was coming from her best friend. She never knew she could physically be attracted to a girl. Given the fact that she has always been with men, she has never looked at a girl that way. But, meeting Tobin, the spark that ignited a fire inside her, completely changed her.

“I know,” Christen pinched the bridge of her nose then closed her eyes, “I never thought I would.”

“Would?” Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise, “What do you mean Chris.”

“Or could… Alex I won’t do anything that could possibly jeopardize my job.”

_Ofcourse I wouldn’t._

_Or am I lying to myself?_

\--

Allie’s mouth dropped, “Holy shit.” She started laughing, repeating the same words again. They walked off the field together towards their car.

“I know.”

“You totally called it fate.”

“I. Know.”

“You’re totally head over heels for this girl already.”

 _I know..._ Tobin didn’t answer Allie.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how into her are you Harry?” Allie grinned, putting her eyes back on the road after the question Tobin refused to answer.

“Just drive.”

\--

“0-0 UNC tied up with Syracuse halfway through the second half, let’s hope we can see some more action coming from Tobin Heath.”

Once he said that, a girl yanked Tobin’s jersey right down, stopping her from pursuing the ball any further but there was no call. The back of her head hit the grass hard, causing Christen to furiously pace the sidelines. She was watching the game with Ali who made the trip to see one of her closest friends. Tobin immediately got back up as if nothing happened, literally fighting for her life.

“They’re fouling the shit out of her but these refs aren’t calling anything.” Christen jabbed her finger towards the ref, upset with how many times Tobin’s back has met with the grass.

“This girl’s a strong one, she’ll pull through. She’s training with us in the summer.” Christen shook her head as she watched Syracuse pass the ball around to waste time, _it hurts._ “I just hate these refs kriegs.”

Ali laughed at how angry her friend is, “Who is she to you anyways for you to be this upset. Usually, Ash reacts the same way you’re reacting when I get hurt.”

Christen refused to look at Ali, feeling her stare into the side of her face, “I’m her _advisor._ Ofcourse it’s going to you know, pain me to see one of the advisees getting hurt.”

Ali pursed her lips while nodding slowly then looked at the players, “Yeahhh I’m pretty sure four other players have been getting knocked down too.”

Christen kept her eye on Tobin, “Maybe I don’t care about them as much as I care about Tobin.”

“Huh?”

Once Tobin touched the ball, the person who marked her lowered her shoulder, ramming her right side of her body into Tobin’s side, who fell down right after the collision. And ofcourse, there was no foul on the play.

_Completely clean._

“WHAT, NO FOUL?” The whole bench furiously stood up and started screaming before the coach shut them up. Christen was doing the same thing, except ranting towards her friend who stayed quiet.

She watched Tobin slowly get up, arms struggling to push herself off the ground.

_Comon Tobin, push past the pain._

It’s like she heard Christen across the field, pushing off the ground with the little strength she had in her arms.

Christen crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she wasn’t seeing Tobin go through this.

_Let’s go Tobin…_

\--

 _Alright, Fuck this girl up Tobs._ Tobin was physically exhausted from all the hits she endured but she fought through whatever piercing pain she felt in her ribs. Her mark gave Tobin more space as the defenders passed the ball around, trying to find a good opening.

Finally, the center back crossed the ball across the field towards Allie, who had atleast five inches on the girl behind her. She was easily able to jump and head the ball towards Tobin’s position.

_Alright, here we go._

Tobin trapped the ball, eyeing the girl who’s been abusing her the entire game. The Syracuse player gave her space, challenging her to push forward thinking that Tobin was out of energy.

But, the one thing she doesn’t know about Tobin is that even if she played through an entire game, Tobin can still be the most dangerous player on the field.  
Her fire has yet to be burned out.

Tobin edged forward quickly but slowed down, dragging the ball as soon as she was about four feet away from the opponent. She planted her right foot down and dipped her left shoulder, letting the Syracuse _asshole_ think she was going right.  
Once she saw the girl step forward into the right direction, Tobin pushed off into the opposite direction, exploding right past her.

She literally had no chance.

_Defenders dropped back, typical move._

She could hear the soccer player four steps behind her trying to catch up through the yelling of their awful fan base. She could see Allie sprinting with her, signaling towards the box as Tobin pushed along the sideline.

_All or nothing._

No matter how much her lungs burned, Tobin pushed through it. She pushed through all the pain and focused only on the adrenaline coursing through her entire body. Tobin was reaching the corner of the field, knowing the player behind her was sprinting full on to catch up to her, while a defender was trying to cut her off.

_My favorite._

Tobin forcefully cut back, taking the ball with her as the Syracuse defender took a hard, large step to the left in attempt to kick the ball out of bounds. Ofcourse, she failed. Tobin’s quick feet pushed the ball to the opposite side, knowing the center mid will be her second victim soon.

Tobin’s back faced the out of bounds line, facing the girl who roughed her up all game. She closed in on Tobin seconds later who faked to the right, causing the girl to stutter in her movements.

And there it was, the perfect opportunity to do her favorite move.

Tobin stepped over the ball with her left foot seconds later from her fake, making the player widen her stance in response. Immediately after the move, Tobin kicked the ball with her right foot in between the legs of the now shocked Syracuse player, sprinting around her gracefully to see Allie waiting behind the defenders.

_Check for offsides, not offsides. We’re good, okay. Breath._

Allie dipped her left shoulder, faking in that direction before taking off around the girl towards the goal. Tobin touched the ball to the left before planting her right foot next to the ball once Allie faked left.

 _Breath in Tobin,_ once her foot connected with the ball, she followed through, giving Allie the _perfect_ cross spinning into the outer post.

_No offside._

The goalkeeper hesitated momentarily confused with the trajectory of the ball, back pedaling as fast as she could to her opposite post. Allie however, wasn’t surprised which is why the two are known to be the best duo in collegiate soccer. Allie jumped up to head the ball as hard as she could into the lower right side of the goal.

Tobin watched the ball soar into the back of the net, immediately jumping up and down, filled with joy. She tried sprinting towards Allie but suddenly, the pain in her ribs hit her so hard, she lost her footing and fell down onto her injured side.

She managed to get herself off the ground, finding Allie sprinting towards her.

“Tobin,” Allie instinctively reached towards Tobin’s side, “You’re hurt.” She barely touched it and Tobin winced.

“I’m fine. That was a beautiful goal.” They were walking side by side towards the middle of the field.

“Couldn’t have done it without you Harry. But, I need you to get off this field like right now.”

Tobin shook her head, “There’s only fifteen more minutes. I can—“

“So help me god Tobin if you don’t call for a sub, I will personally finish the job.” Tobin’s face contorted at how aggressive her best friend was.  Her hand immediately shot up for a sub, “I just fed you the perfect ball and this is how you treat me.”

“Yeah, well, stop being so hard headed,” Allie kissed the top of her head, “Thank you for the perfect cross Harry.”

Tobin grinned as she walked away and towards the analog numbers. The pain really hit her once the adrenaline faded away. She saw Christen walking toward her, her face showed a mixture of worry and shock.

She was about to speak out to her but she felt the pain shoot through her left side, causing her to wince again.

Tobin wasn’t even off the field yet.

She couldn’t hide the facial expression from Christen who surely walked faster after she saw the pain in Tobin’s face. Without even asking, Christen dipped beneath Tobin’s sweaty arm and gently wrapped her arm around Tobin’s waist, pulling Tobin closer into her body.

The soccer player let go of her weight, trusting Christen to carry her to the trainer who prepped his area.

“Did you like that nutmeg?” Tobin chuckled, attempting to crack a joke through the pain, “Who am I again Christen Press?”

Christen hid her smile from Tobin, “The queen. Of… nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“But you said like two days ago I’m the queen of— “

“Nothing.”

“But--”

“Nope.” Christen made a popping sound in the end of her word, grinning mischievously at how flabbergasted the player is.

Tobin frowned again, “First Allie threatens to finish the job and now you are insulting my work of art.”

“Well, who else would keep your arrogance in check Tobin Heath?”

“Not you obviously,” Tobin wanted to turn to look at Christen but kept her eyes trained forward, “You should be trying to make me feel better during this state of emergency.”

 _Oh, I can definitely do that in so many ways..._ Christen bit her lip at the thought she pushed away, “I’m sorry. That was a beautiful cross… are you happy?”

Tobin grinned, feeling no pain as she focused on her advisor.

“Never better.”

Once they got to the trainer’s table, Christen gently lifted Tobin’s arm to get out from under her. Tobin, who wasn’t surprised at all, practically fell from her own weight. Christen arms quickly reached out for Tobin, catching her before she met the grass again for the millionth time.  
“I think I may or may not have a concussion too…”

Christen was close enough for no one to be able to hear her, not even the trainer.

“If I was on the field,” Christen’s grip around her waist got stronger as she lifted her onto the high table/bed with ease, “I wouldn’t have let her get away with what she did to you.”

Her hands were still on Tobin’s waist, scared to let go. Her body was in between Tobin’s legs that were dangling off the edge of the bed. Tobin lost track of everything that was going on around her but Christen.

Tobin smiled weakly, “Looks like I need to keep you in check too, huh?”

Christen forced herself away from in-between Tobin’s legs, hands not wanting to leave but did.

“Noone can.”

The trainer came up to the two but Tobin couldn’t break the eye contact with Christen, seeing the pure fire in her eyes.

“Is that a challenge Ms.Press?”

Christen smiled so hard, she squinted her eyes at the soccer player as she started backing away, not breaking the eye contact.

“Don’t try to fight a losing battle Tobin.”

“So is that a yes?” Tobin repeated the words louder at Christen who already turned away to walk towards Ali Krieger at the other end of the sideline. She waited for Christen to turn around.

_She’s going to turn around. Keep looking at her._

She kept walking forward.

“Tobin, I’m going to run some tests on you to make sure your head is good then we’ll run inside to check out your sides... Can you look at me?”

_Just keep looking._

Five seconds passed.

_Keep. Looking._

She grinned from ear to ear as she saw Christen’s body slowly turn around to walk backwards for a moment. Christen’s eyes met with Tobin’s and started laughing before turning back around.

That was all Tobin needed to shift her focus towards the medical trainer.

“You were saying?”

 


	3. Post-Game

“Harrrrry, don’t be upset.” Tobin waited for an apology, “It was the type of offer I could _not_ refuse!”

Tobin stayed quiet making Allie speak up again, “I promise it’s the last time I do this.”

Ten seconds later…

“I’m sorry?”

Tobin looked up at her best friend, “I don’t know how you manage to have a man waiting for you in every state we play in.”

Allie gave her a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing her things quickly at the same time.

“I mean, Harry. Look at me. I’m _beautiful._ ”

Tobin brought her hand up to her chin trying to act like she’s actually thinking as she looked Allie up and down. Who by the way, started posing for Tobin as if she’s in a photoshoot, flicking her hair back and jutting her hips out in every direction.

“Noooo, No… Nope… I don’t think I see it…” Allie froze, “Take that back Harry.” Tobin shook her head quickly, grinning at Allie whose face was filled with absolute dismay.

“You’re gonna do me like that? Really? Right before a date?”

“Booty call.” Tobin wagged her finger in front of Allie’s face and clicked her tongue, immediately correcting her.

“Tomato, Toh-Mah-Toe.”

Tobin laughed as she got on her tippy toes to kiss Allie’s forehead, “You’re the most beautiful woman out there. Knock ‘em dead baby.”

Allie squealed as she rushed past her friend to get on the bus screaming, “I LOVE it when you say that. Let me know what the doc says!”

\--

Christen hugged Ali tightly, “Thank you for coming. I miss you, all of you.” After a long moment of silence, the two separated. She missed the late nights in foreign cities exploring with all her teammates.

She missed winning games and celebrating with the team, crashing every bar there was with Alex and Meghan.

She just misses all of it and Ali reminded her of the good times that were now lost.

“It’s not too late. Come to our next camp Chris,” Ali smiled at her former teammate, “There’s still time.”

She can’t say that she hasn’t considered going back. With Alex as her roommate before leaving to North Carolina, she remembers the many nights of Alex pleading to fight this injury too.

~

“Look at Ali, she tore her ACL and MCL in 2012. You weren’t there but I saw it _happen._ She was older than you at the time, Chris.”

Christen finished wrapping her knee tightly and strapped on her brace before getting up, “What’s your point?”

She limped past her best friend who sighed, “My point is… you shouldn’t quit.” Christen turned around angry with what her friend just said.

“I didn’t tear _one_ like you Alex. Not _two_ like Ali. Not _three,_ but four. And you’re telling me to _not_ QUIT?!” Alex stayed quiet as she watched her best friend yell and the tears that fell so easily from Christen’s face, “I felt _every_ one of those damn things snap. I got three surgeries, I can’t even walk without a limp.”

“I was there TOO Christen, stop acting like you’re the only one that’s hurt about it.”

Christen laughed despite the argument the two were in, “Yeah, you know _exactly_ what I’m feeling Alex.”

Alex walked over to where her roommate was standing across the room and jabbed her finger into Christen’s chest, anger flaring through her entire body. “You don’t think it hurts me to see you like this? I was _seventeen_ with a dream in your position right now.”

Christen remained quiet as she listened to Alex yell back, “I went to physical therapy. I trained day and night. I was back on the field doing the one thing I love in five months. Stop throwing yourself a pity party Christen because your attitude is the one thing you can control in this sport.”

“So what do you want from me, huh?” Christen yelled back, “Rehab and then what. Go back on the field scared that it’ll happen again?”

Alex felt a glimmer of hope inside her, bringing the level of her voice down.

“No. Just the rehab part… and Jesus, just don’t quit on me Chris. You have it in you, you always will.”

~

Watching Tobin made her want to get back on the field. She wanted to be there to play side by side with her. Christen hasn’t wanted to play soccer for so long but now, she wanted to play. Tobin’s words and actions, her attitude… That was something Christen used to have but was gone.

She wasn’t a fighter like Ali and Alex, she just gave up.

And now, it feels wrong.

_Why didn’t you fight?_

“When’s the next camp?” Her friend leaped up and hugged Christen again before letting go, “In four month’s time.”

 _Is that even enough time?_ The words of Alex from a year ago rang through her head, as if her mind was telling her that she still has it.

_I still have it._

She watched Tobin walk towards them and Ali caught it, looking behind her and back at Christen.

Ali backed away slowly smiling, “You should practice with her Chris, she’s the real deal.” She turned around to the parking lot before Tobin reached Christen.

_That’s actually not a bad idea._

She smiled at Tobin, “Are you ready?”

“God no, I hate our team doctor.”

\--

“Good news is, nothing is broken.” Doc spoke up after eyeing the x-rays for maybe thirty seconds. Tobin saw how Christen held her breath as she waited in that very moment, releasing all the air once she heard the words.

_Thank god._

_She’s relieved, how cute._

“And the bad news?”

“Well… You’re going to have to stay off the field for two to three weeks Heath.”

Tobin’s mouth just dropped, “Two to THREE weeks?”

“That is what I said. Bandage it up, ice it, and take medicine.”  
Tobin’s heart fell and how crass her team doctor was being was not helping. She just nodded at the orders he barked at her and hopped off the cold bed, forgetting that she had this _ginormous_ bruise all along her right side.

Pain shot through her ribs and she hid the grimace, looking up to see a worried Christen staring at her with pleading eyes. Deep down, she didn’t want Tobin to experience the time she spent off the field.

Even if it was just three weeks.

Watching her team play their hearts out on the sidelines and not being able to do a thing was the worst thing Christen had to go through.

The advisor wanted to quickly jump in after seeing Tobin fail at hiding her pained expression, but her without a top on…

Let’s just say, Tobin has the abs of a goddess. Atleast that’s what Christen thought.

She quickly looked away, pushing her hair back, refusing to eye the shirtless soccer player. She kept her eyes trained on the poster since the Doctor left, leaving them both alone.

But her eyes, slowly found their way back to Tobin who was struggling to put her sweatshirt on. She was biting her lip, not wanting to show any of the pain she felt while raising her right arm. It took almost a minute before Christen pushed off the counter, going in to save the injured player.

“You know… you could always just ask.”

Tobin’s throat suddenly got very dry as Christen closed in on her, _just keep your composure and smile. Just, smile._

“I didn’t want to distract you from the posters…” Tobin pointed at the picture on the wall of a naked man, eliciting a laugh from Christen’s end.

“Yeah, yeah zip it Heath…” Christen looked at how the sweatshirt just dangled from Tobin’s neck. Tobin was grinning the entire time, watching the eyes so closely, enjoying the struggle coming from the other end.

_Just do it._

Christen reached for Tobin’s right arm to raise it, sensing hesitation coming from inside her but she refused to acknowledge it. Her heartbeat quickened once she brought her other arm up to Tobin’s chest to make a wide enough opening from the inside of the sweatshirt.

She felt the goosebumps rise and heard the shudder of Tobin’s breathing, she felt the heartbeat that rose faster just like hers against her hand. She looked up at Tobin just for a moment, seeing the soccer player just looking at her as she did this, no longer smiling.

“Your heartbeat…”

_Yep, you this close does this to me, but you’re my advisor._

“Yeah… I’m scared, adrenaline. Nerves. You know? This hurts.” _Why lie?_ Christen just nodded and continued forward.

Christen wanted to rush the process because her heart was _beating so fast_ but suffering from bruised ribs herself in the past, she knows the pain that comes from any sudden movements.

“So, what are you planning on doing tonight?” Tobin cleared her throat before whispering the words, hoping to break the silence. And get her mind off of how close the two are yet again for the second time in less than two weeks.

One arm through the sleeve, Christen gently brought Tobin’s arm down, not letting Tobin feel a thing. The soccer player had her eyes trained on Christen, waiting to hear a response.

“Alcohol and paperwork,” Christen’s hand found its way towards her other arm while having the other resting on her shoulder, “You?”

 _God, her hands are so warm. And she is so… close. Still, close._ Her eyes drifted down towards Christen’s lips knowing that Christen wouldn’t catch it this time. She was biting her lip due to the determination of making this process as painless as possible, putting her arm through the other sleeve, gently bringing it back down.

It drove Tobin mad, wishing she could just get a taste of those very lips that she couldn’t avoid even if she tried.

_To bite that lip too._

Christen looked up, making Tobin maneuver her way out of the tight spot she found herself in again. She knew that what she is thinking is something that will never happen.

_Never say never, right?_

She looked at the posters, “Well, I know Harry is actually having a guy over.”

“Harry?”

“Allie, it’s long story. But will probably do nothing.”

What came out of Christen’s mouth really shocked the both of them but it was an offer Tobin couldn’t refuse.

“Well, you could always stay with me?” Christen stuffed her hands in the pockets of her khakis wanting to further elaborate, “Uh, well. I mean, Alex used to always have Servando over after our big games…”

Tobin was cheesing the entire time.

_Is she gonna let me answer?_

 “…I mean I’m just saying, I understand what you’re going through.” Tobin was about to speak up but Christen waved her off, “You don’t have--”

“To the bar we go.” She started walking to the door but Christen cut her off, “Wait, are you even 21?”

Tobin laughed but Christen didn't, _is she being serious?_

“Have you seen this face?”

She gave up, surprised at how someone could maintain a straight face for that long.

“Didn’t answer my question, Tobin.”

“Do I look like I’m nineteen to you, Christen?” She tried to imitate the way Christen said her name and tilted her head while at it.

“Well, your face is pretty much flawless.” Christen wished she could take the words back. They just slipped right off her lips, unable to catch them.

_Oh man, she’s about to say something smart. Just keep cool Chris, keep cool._

Tobin smirked, wanting to see where this goes.

“Are you callin’ me pretty?”

“Yeahhh you’re buying.” Christen walked out with Tobin following behind her. Tobin repeated the question again but with a playful tone, much louder this time.

“ARE you caaalling me preeeetty Christen Press?”

_Oh boy._

“I’m saying you look like you’re still a senior in high school.”

\--

“Can I see an ID?” Tobin frowned at the bartender at the Hotel they’re staying at, “Really dude? I’m 21.”

He stood his ground, “ID or no beer.”

Tobin scoffed at him, pulling out her wallet and giving him her license, “Happy, dad?”

The guy checked if it was a fake by asking her multiple questions because he really didn’t believe her. She looked over at Christen who just shrugged at her, mentally preparing herself for the words she knows she is about to hear.

“I told you so.”

“Shut it Press.” He gave it back to her along with the beer, “I had to check. You look… Well, young.”

 _Yeah and you look like you need to check your eyesight grandpa._ Tobin smiled at him, “I understand.”

Christen smirked before drinking the rest of her drink, signaling for another.

“Do you really?”

“Well, it was a better answer than the one I was thinking of.”

The bartender refilled Christen’s drink who took a sip before replying.

“Yeah? And what was that?”

Tobin rested her hand against her hand smiling at Christen, “That you called me pretty.”

 _Pretty is the biggest understatement of the year._ “Right… That’s the answer. And so what if I did?” Christen challenged, taking a sip before looking at Tobin. She just stared, waiting for a response.

_Jesus take the wheel, where did that come from?_

Meanwhile, the confidence necessary to play this card that Tobin gained throughout the day was shot away the moment Christen took her by surprise with this comment.

“I, uh…wow. Hah,” Tobin couldn’t get her words out, rubbing the back of her neck despite the pain in her ribs, _just say it. But she’s your advisor? Fuck it._ Tobin laughed and drank the rest of her beer and just went with it.

“Take a look in the mirror Christen, you are--” Every word was processed slowly; Christen knew what she was about to say. She knew it was wrong. She knew the consequences.

But she didn’t cut her off. She didn’t want to.

She wanted to hear it.

 “Well hello Christen.”

_What the heck?_

_Who the hell is that?_

_Did he just cockblock me?_

Christen frowned at Tobin who frowned right back, disappointed that she couldn’t finish. _Maybe it was a sign, she is way out of my league anyways._

The bartender knew to bring another beer to Tobin because well, he knew she needed it. She nodded at him before looking at the guy who cut her off.

He wore a navy tailored suit paired with tan leather shoes. His hair was perfectly styled, as if he went to a barber every day to get his beard looking the way it does.

 _What a tool_ was what Tobin thought. Christen just turned around to see who he was, still unsure of who he is.

“Sorry? I think you’ve got the wrong person.” Tobin’s head immediately jolted towards her advisor’s direction, _huh?_

He gave her a smile before unbuttoning his suit and sitting at the seat next to Christen’s, “Only a fool wouldn’t recognize that face.”

_Is he serious? That was barely considered smooth. Okay, maybe it was. But a fool, HAH._

_Wow, that was smooth._

Tobin scoffed, remembering how she didn’t know who Christen Press even was.

“Yeah. Fools. Right?” Christen heard the comment behind her that was low enough for only Christen to hear. She laughed at her but not the rich man, who thought she laughed at what he said.

_Confusion. Overload._

He waved down the bartender, “Another of what she is having please.”

“Trying to get me drunk, are we?”  

_Obviously Christen, get with it._

He turned his upper body towards her and continued, “No, I want you to be completely aware of what I am about to say. Have dinner with me, tomorrow. At 7.”

Christen gave him a huge smile, playing along with it. Tobin just raised her eyebrows at the bartender who laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh really?”

_Jesus Christen, are you really falling for this._

_God, he is actually as smooth as he looks._

 “Yes, so what do you say?”

_Confidence is key. Welp, there goes my chances._

Tobin muttered “Wow” under her breath. Again, christen was able to hear it, laughing inside at how much this pained the soccer player. She wanted to play along with it just to make Tobin squirm but she decided to take a different angle with this predicament she is in.

“Well Mr…” She waved her hand in front of him, hoping he’d get the memo.

“David.”

“David, you see this girl next to me? She’s actually my _girlfriend._ ”

Tobin choked on her drink and the bartender stopped cleaning the glass in his hand. Tobin raised her eyebrows even higher at the bartender who was just as shocked as she was before slowly turning her head towards the two to her left. All she did was smile her hardest at Christen then the guy who thinks he is David Beckham, no pun intended.

_Just go with it._

“Really, because she kind of looks young…” David looked confused.

“Why does everyone _keep SAYING_ that?”

Tobin drank Christen’s drink without even noticing it was hers, the burn was a complete surprise. But Christen just grinned, taking Tobin’s hand into hers. Tobin breathed in at the contact, looking at the hand, feeling the electricity shooting up her arm and into her heart, jolting her upright.

Surprising her more than the Whiskey.

Like, a thousand times more.

“Yeah well,” She spoke up looking at Tobin, “She brings a side of me that I haven’t seen before. And, I like it.”

Tobin smiled turned into a real, soft one as she watched the words slip from the very lips Tobin just wanted to kiss since the meeting with the Doctor. She had to remind herself that it’s her advisor once again.

She tilted her head, looking past Christen’s to see a man who was in complete shock, “A for effort _David._ ” Christen just grinned, looking at Tobin and hearing the man get up from the high chair. She bit her lip again before turning around to see the man button his suit, “Very well. Let me know when you want someone to actually take care of you.”

Tobin was taken aback at the statement, “Oh?”  
“Yeah, a _real,_ successful business man.”

Tobin got up, she was only on her second beer but felt heat rush over her entire body. She got closer to the arrogant man, inches away from his face. He was taller than her but she was in no way intimidated.

“I don’t think your money can make her scream your name the way she screams mine pal.” The comment took Christen’s mind somewhere else. Tobin grabbed the fifty dollar bill he left on the table and shoved it into his chest, “Take the L princess.”

 _I wonder what she could do to make that happen… god, it’s the alcohol talking. I need to stop. Why can’t I stop?_ The images just flooded into her head as the two had a stand-off over her.

...Images of the soccer player leaving a trail of kisses past her breasts and down her toned stomach. She would imagine that Tobin strength is far greater than hers but is not the type to like it rough.

But, the type to take it slow. The type to be slow and kiss her like it's her last day on earth.

_Passionate._

She shook her head, hoping that that would shake the thought away that was caused by the comment Tobin made.

He scoffed at her, looking at Christen one more time before walking past Tobin, intentionally bumping into her shoulder. Tobin watched him leave before sitting back down slowly, the bartender still in the same spot she left him in.

He gave her another beer, “On me, way to stand up for your girl.”

“Wait, she isn’t—“ Tobin started shaking her hand but Christen cut her off, “Screaming your name? That’s the first thing you think of?”

Tobin felt the heat rise up her neck all the way up to her cheeks, _shit stop BLUSHING._ She only got redder and more flustered.

_Fuck, I look like a tomato. Counter but don’t answer._

“Girlfriend??”

_Good job Tobs, short and sweet._

_Shit._

Now, it was Christen who felt the blush creep up to her face, “I had to think of something on the spot. Need I remind you, I was the one getting hit on.”

Tobin continued on, “And that’s the _first_ thing that _you_ think of?”

_Boom._

Christen hid her face into her hands laughing, “Ahhhh, I suppose so. I think I’ve had too much to drink.”

She knew she didn’t have that much to drink and so did Tobin. The soccer player liked the idea of Christen using her as a way to get out of that situation. She liked the idea of her being that…

A _girlfriend._ To her own advisor.

\--

The two made their way into Christen’s room slowly. Tobin wished she never took up on this offer because her self-control is practically non-existent at this point.

She looked at the queen sized bed, _great, no couch or anything._ Nothing but a bed, a dresser, and a mirror.

_Prison._

“I can take the floor.” She slowly walked into the room, following Christen who waved her off.

“Nonsense, your ribs. It’s okay, I call the right side though.”

 _Good lord._ Christen made it hard for Tobin to refuse the offer, always waving her off. After two tries,  Tobin finally gave in.

“Fine, but just so you know… I’m the one that’s sleeping on the right side.”

Christen frowned, “I just called it?”

Tobin shrugged, “I am the handicapped one, remember?”

And Christen did remember, also remembering that Tobin doesn’t have clothes with her.

“Which reminds me, I have a pair of shorts and a tank you can borrow.”

And she sure as hell is gonna struggle putting them on.

“Ah, it’s fine. I can sleep in this…” Tobin closed her eyes shut, contemplating for a solid minute before extending her arm out, “I take it back.”

Christen handed her the clothes, “Alright, I’ll just go here.”

_I’ll just go here? Really Chris._

She quickly turned around to sit at the opposite edge of the bed. She had her phone in her hands but she stared at it, forcing herself not to turn around.

But, there’s a mirror.

_Don’t look up._

Tobin could have gone into the bathroom to change but she didn’t even think of it. Blame it on the alcohol but Tobin has always been the type to change around people and not care. She grunted as she took off her sweatshirt slowly, _one down, three more to go._

She could hear the struggle behind her, _just wait Christen,_ pursing her lips when she heard the second piece of clothing fall onto the floor. She slowly looked up at the large mirror five feet away from her, seeing Tobin’s bare back. Her eyes lingered for a moment too long, captivated as they drifted towards her lower back.

Tobin shimmied out of her sweats, slowly revealing her toned legs, not knowing Christen was virtually dying. Seeing her getting undressed...

She felt a small yet noticeable, undeniable throb in between her legs. She didn’t know if she even had enough drinks to say that it’s the alcohol making you think this way.

_Why is this happening to me? Get ahold of yourself Chris._

“So,” Tobin put the tank top on slowly before turning around, “Why’d you lie? Say you weren’t Christen and all.” Once Christen saw her turning, she cleared her throat and got up before Tobin can see her position in front of the mirror.

“I was hoping I could avoid getting hit on.” _Be honest and cool._

“But why?” Tobin didn’t bother putting the shorts on and lied down slowly on the bed.

_But why not put pants on._

Christen got her laptop and lied down on the other end of the bed, “Why the twenty-one questions?”

Tobin shrugged, “It’s just something you don’t normally do if you’re… you know, you.”

Christen looked at Tobin who was already looking at her, “Meaning?”

_You’re gonna make me say it?_

Tobin hummed nothing and looked away, turning on the TV to flip through the channels. But Christen said it again, trying to get an answer out of the soccer player.

“I’m not going to answer that.” Tobin singsonged the words, making Christen smile this time.

“Why not?” She closed the laptop, curious of what the answer will be.

“Because…” Tobin put the remote down and looked down, _just say it._

“It would be wro—“ Tobin cut herself off laughing and looked at Christen, “…You know what, I’m just gonna put it out there. You’re amazing. You can get anyone just like that. Not through your name, but who _you_ are. They see a beautiful soccer player, but… I see more.”

Christen just looked at her, stunned again and Tobin didn’t look away this time, “Just let them see what I see.”

The words really did hit home. Christen tried to remember the last time she had a relationship with someone. Where, she actually let someone in.

Tobin Heath was right yet again. She never gives the chance for one person to see past a skilled soccer player but the caring person she really is.

Christen barely spoke up, “How do you know me so well when we only like, just met.”

Tobin never broke the eye contact, “Because I’m the same way Christen Press.”

Both of them stared at each other, refusing to be the one to look away first. Today, at this very moment, she knew what she was feeling. From how much she got angry seeing Tobin get beat around on the field to not wanting Tobin to hurt at all.

She cared for her.

More than just an advisor caring for a student athlete.

Her heartbeat quickened when she saw Tobin glance at her lips before looking back up. Christen did the same thing, feeling herself gravitate towards the girl as the warmth continued to spread through her chest, growing hotter and hotter. The girl with the perfect jaw structure and flawless face strike home yet again.

That one soccer player who has her all figured out. Not because it’s easy to read Christen, but because she actually understands her.

_I can’t do this._

_God, I want you._

Once she saw Tobin test her limit by moving forward just a little, Christen looked away. As much as it pained Christen, she had to stop whatever was about to happen.

_Control._

“It’s getting late,” She looked down at her hands, “We should probably call it a night.”

Tobin leaned away once Christen did and finally blinked back to reality.

“Yeah.” She got in the bed too moments later, turning off the lamp that highlighted every perfection Tobin saw while being so close to Christen, “Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight Christen.”

Little did the two know, both of them were still awake hours later, thinking of what could have been.


	4. Don't Blame it on the Whiskey

“You shouldn’t even be working out right now.”

“Quit trying to change the topic.”

“His name is Bati. How are you working out right now…?”

“I have superpowers. Like, Bat and then, ‘e’? That’s weird.” Tobin put one more quarter plate on the bar as did Allie on the other side of the squat rack, “Well… It’s Jose but he goes by… that. And really, you shouldn’t be working out.”

“I’m okay. You kept this a secret,” Tobin dipped under the bar and looked over at her best friend, “Why?”

Allie walked around the rack to get behind Tobin so that she could spot her, “Exactly why you’re keeping a secret from me.”

“Secret, what secret?” She breathed in and pushed upwards, focusing all her anger towards these next few reps. She recounted what happened two weeks ago at the hotel with Christen, something she has unwillingly been doing every day.

The way Christen looked at her lips, subconsciously licking her own as she watched Tobin lean forward. The way she would look at her after Tobin would say something genuine.

The way she would _avoid_ looking at her when she was shirtless in the doctor’s room. Tobin couldn’t erase the memories or wrap her head around all the mixed signals.

She was downright angry with how she can’t control herself when around the Christen Press.

_Totally misread the situation._

One squat in.

“How you didn’t come back to the room?? _That_ secret?” Tobin just looked ahead and refused to respond.

“I mean I was up all night.”

_She was just so close. How could I try to kiss my own advisor?_

Three squats in.

_Who I’m seeing today._

Five squats in.

_How could I be so stupid?!_

Eight squats in.

_How could something be so wrong… but feel so right?_

“Further… proving… my point.” Tobin finished up her last two reps before setting it back on the rack, “I was with Chris..Ten.”

She watched Allie’s reaction in the mirror, seeing how her head popped up after the last syllable.

_Here it comes._

The blonde looked around to make sure no one was near and Tobin walked around the squat rack, “It’s no big deal Allie, really.”

“I-i-it’s… NO BIG DEAL?” She suddenly raised her voice, “Tobin, you can’t go around sleeping with…” She looked around again before bringing her voice back down to a whisper, “Your advisor? Like, how could you.”

Tobin just looked at her friend who continued to rant away, “I mean sleeping with the athletic trainer? Okay. I get it, she’s cute. But your ADVISOR?”

Tobin was about to speak up but Allie waved her off just like Christen did.

_Means I’m about to get it from my best friend too._

 “You know what Tobin, I’m not surprised.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean… she is a real piece of work,” Allie completely changed the direction in which she was going in. Like, a _complete_ detour, leaving Tobin dumbfounded.

“Like, have you seen her ass? Fits the peach emoji.” Tobin raised her eyebrows at Allie, who added more weight on each side. She went over to Tobin and high fived her, “Just wait til you do it in the office.”

_Okay, I’m intrigued._

“Harry, we never slept together.” Allie looked at Tobin after she dipped under the bar before laughing, “Yeah right.”

Tobin brought her hands up, “I swear, I would never. It’s…” She had to think about the next word, wondering if her heart actually believed it.

“Wrong.”

Instead of spotting her, she watched Allie only because she knew that Allie had the legs of an ox. She easily busted out twelve squats with a hundred and eighty-five pounds on her back. Allie rested the bar back on the rack and drank water, “Didn’t stop you with the athletic trainer.”

_Yeah, good point._

“She came onto me. I mean, what do you expect. She’s a ZTA.”

“Hm, touché. Diversion tactic, what are you hiding from me?”

“We…” Tobin sighed and shook her head, “I… Almost kissed her.”

A part of her was still hurt over it. Especially over the fact that Christen didn’t mention it at all in her last two meetings. For the first time ever, Tobin was greeted with a cold shoulder from the not so new advisor.

Allie gasped but could sense the hurt coming from her friend, “Tobin…”

_Snap out of it._

“I’m fine Harry,” Tobin put more weight onto one side and continued, “I was drinking, I wasn’t really aware of what I was doing. Ya know?”

_But you were._

Allie matched the weight for Tobin on the other side, “Yeahhh, I don’t know actually. You drink in moderation, I just—“

“Allie,” Her friend looked up and so did Tobin, “I really need you to stop pushing this.”

“Tobin, I just don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all.”

_I already am._

“I’m not, I promise.”

\--

“Wait,” Christen changed into her old USWNT soccer gear and picked up her phone, “How?”

“I have a match in Orlando. Big Layover. That easy. Quit asking questions, what are you doing?”

Christen laced up her running shoes and got up, grabbing her phone and earphones with her. She looked at Alex, who was really at a loss with what she was seeing.

“I, uh… I decided to start… training. Well, conditioning.”

There was a silence on the other end, making Christen look down to see Alex’s image frozen.

“Alex, are you there?” She shook the phone and frowned, _is she serious? I know the Wifi is good over there._

“You had to move _across_ the country to figure that out?” Christen started laughing, reaching over to grab the collar for her big puppy.

“Sometimes, that’s what it takes to realize what you’re missing.”

Ace ran over to her after she whistled to him, “I’m not regretting the decision. Who knows, maybe I suck.”

Alex laughed, "You're joking right?"

"I haven't touched a ball in a year Al. Let's be real here..." She hooked the leash onto the collar and looked back down at the phone after locking the door behind her, "I just want to see where this goes."

"Right, so are you training with Tobin?" The name made Christen's heart leap but she remember the night from two weeks ago. She got excited at the idea, but she knew it could never happen.

She can't let it happen.

 

“I… Probably not.” Alex could sense the hesitation coming from the other end, “Even from thousands of miles away, I can tell that there’s something wrong… What’s going on?”

_Everything._

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Christen looked away as she walked towards her truck to not give Alex a chance to read her, "Yes."

“Liar.”

 _You’re right._ Christen has been thinking about that night every time her head hits a pillow. It pained her to see Tobin and not do or say anything about it. She didn’t know how to start up the conversation about the night in New York.

_Hey Tobin, I’m sorry I backed away even though I really wanted to see where it goes?_

_Hey Tobin, I’m sorry. I can’t risk my job._

_Hey Tobin, I can’t stop thinking about you but I don’t know what to say._

_I didn’t even know that I was interested in girls, maybe it’s just you._

She tried to replay the moment and what could have happened that night. If and only if, she had kissed the girl that overwhelmed every thought that coursed through her mind. There was never a girl in her life.

It was always men.

But then, came along Tobin Heath.

“It’s a story for another time Al, I’ll see you tonight. We can go out tomorrow like old times!!”

“YES! God, I miss us. I’ll call you when I land.” She kissed the phone before ending the call, leaving Christen alone with the pup and her thoughts.

_I have to clear the air._

\--

The cold breeze from the shore hit her almost as hard as Tobin did. From the moment they met, Christen couldn’t get rid of Tobin even if she tried. She started her playlist that she always used when she would go on her morning runs in California.

_I can do this._

Christen had a fear in her that she couldn’t escape. She adjusted her brace one more time before looking up, seeing the long stretch of land ahead of her.

_Don’t quit so fast._

The words that Tobin said in their first session came back flooding into her mind. It’s always Tobin.

“You can do this.” She got closer to the wet sand and started her music, “C’mon bud, let’s race.”

She knew that the drive and momentum that is fueling this run was created by the player who really did change her perspective on her bounce back with soccer. All she did was think about Tobin and not once, did she think about her knee.

\--

Tobin waited in her office. Each minute that passed by seemed to have counted as ten. She waited and wondered if this was the one where Christen would speak first. Or, should she? She sighed and got up, pacing the small room back and forth.

Her eyes drifted towards the pictures that were mounted on the wall. Every one of those pictures had a story that Tobin wanted to hear about.

 _Is that Alex Morgan and Carli Lloyd? Oh man._ They looked so happy in the picture, especially Christen.

“That was right after we won the world cup versus Japan.” The familiar voice startled her causing her to back off, “Carl scored a goal from midfield that day, got a hat trick.”

Tobin couldn’t believe it; _she’s actually initiating a normal conversation._

 _Don’t push it,_ “Yeah?”

Christen walked over to where she was standing and leaned against her desk, “That was the happiest day of my life.”

_Just push it._

Tobin turned around and wanted to take a step closer towards Christen but she remembered that the blinds were open. She wanted to reach out, hoping that maybe touching her shoulder and saying the words that were stuck in the back of her throat would be easier to say.

But she walked around the advisor to sit down, “Gotta live every day as if it’s your last.”

Christen pushed herself off and sat her chair. She was taken aback from the odd statement, “Meaning?”

Tobin shrugged and looked at the photo, “You need to live every day to its fullest. Make every day your happiest day.”

“Easy to say when you’re a student though,” Christen smiled softly before looking at her computer.

 _God, that smile._ Tobin looked away and focused all her attention on the diploma behind the advisor.

 _Change the topic Chris,_ “I see that you have a few exams coming up…”

“I do, I know.”

She can sense the anger coming off those few words that Tobin practically gritted through her teeth.

_I can’t believe this._

“I believe the way this is supposed to work, I tell you how to balance out your day and—“

“I’m a senior Christen, not a Freshman.” Tobin laughed and shook her head, “I can’t do this.”

_Oh god, she wants to leave._

Both of them got up at the same time and Christen knew that Tobin was going to walk out the door. _Just stop her,_ it was a foot race and Christen somehow beat her. Tobin opened the door but Christen slammed it shut from behind Tobin.

She closed the blinds with her left arm and Tobin refused to turn around, knowing how close Christen really is. Knowing, what that alone does to her. She looked down, _just don’t forget to breath._

“I don’t know what happened that night,” She kept her hand on the door and breathed in deeply, wanting to choose her next words wisely.

_Please, say that you’re feeling what I’m feeling too._

“But, I can’t let it affect the job. I need you to understand that Tobin.”

Tobin blinked twice, each word feeling like a hard punch right into her gut because it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. Her heart sank as she stared at the door, knowing that she had to turn around but couldn’t bring herself to see the advisor.

She smiled through the pain and turned around to face Christen, “Got it. I know how to manage my time so we really do not need to do all of… this. Can you…” She looked at Christen’s arm and didn’t finish the sentence.

“Right…” She stuffed her hands in the back pockets of her skinny jeans and backed off slowly.

_Just say something. Make her feel better Chris, you’re good at this. Why is this so hard?_

Tobin bit her lip, _I understand._ She couldn’t bring herself to say the words because she knew it was all a lie.

“Yep.”

She nodded at Christen, holding her stare for a moment too long. Her eyes searched for any sign of regret coming from the other end but she couldn’t find it in her advisor’s eyes. She turned around and quickly left the room, closing the door behind her to leave Christen all alone.

And in that very moment, Christen knew she screwed up.

\--

Nothing is worse than watching your team and not being able to do a thing.

 _Ninety minutes too long…_ Even though the Tarheels still won against Clemson, sitting the game out was actually depressing.

_Good thing it’s my last…_

Given the fact that she didn’t say a word to Christen, it made things a lot worse. She distanced herself from her because she had so many words to say. How _angry_ she was with her.

Typically, in this situation, she would find solace in a friend or alcohol. But the only true friend was out on the field and the only one who _knew_ her was scared for her job.

She was blinded by rage, unable to catch the one detail that Tobin missed.

Christen never admitting to not feeling something towards Tobin.

Allie jogged over to where Tobin was standing, “Why do you look like you just lost your dog?”

Tobin rolled her eyes at her way of saying hi, “In case you weren’t aware, they wouldn’t let me in the game.”

“Is that really a bad thing?”

\--

“Alex, it wasn’t that bad.”

“That game was so boring.” She drank her beer before turning around, “I didn’t know southern boys were this _HOT._ ”

Christen smiled at the comment and nudged her friend, “Need I remind you of a rich soccer player, Servando? Who you’re marrying in a month?”

“Ugh, thank you for reminding me of the real world,” Alex turned to look at Christen, “Which reminds me, have you found a plus one?”

“Yes?” Alex just frowned at her which urged Christen to speak up to defend herself, “Okay no, there isn’t a real prospect out here.”

 “I mean… Jimmy is looking for a date too! I can contact—“

“Jimmy who?”

“Oh my god, already forgot… You turned him down? At the engagement party? Jimmy Graham?”

Christen looked confused, tilting her head to the side as Alex recounted that night at the party.

“Jimmy Gra—Jesus Christ Christen. Tight end for the Seahawks.”

“No, definitely not.”

“Why?”

“Why, ‘not’ is the question,” Christen was about to speak up until she heard a familiar laugh in the background.

_God, no. Tobin?_

She quickly turned around to see Tobin with a group of girls. She could spot four players but all the other ones were all unfamiliar. Her eyes went back to Tobin, whose hair was naturally down, something Christen has never seen before.

She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans paired with a long, black shirt and had a snapback on backwards. It was her first time seeing Tobin not in soccer gear.

But…

Her arm was draped over a girl who tried a little too hard with what she wore. She felt a pang of jealousy hit her when she saw that girl’s arm drift towards the small of Tobin’s back. It drifted lower...

 _Ugh…_ Christen rolled her eyes and was about to turn around but Alex got impatient and beat her to the punch.

“CHRISTEN.” Alex punched Christen’s arm to try to get her attention, “What are you doing…” Her eyes followed Christen’s to see Tobin, completely unaware of who she keeps staring at. Christen rubbed her arm and turned back around, ordering another drink.

"Jimmy's nice, too nice."

"That makes zero sense."

“I just… he’s not the one I want.” She ran her hand through her hair and rested her head on it. She wondered what she meant by that statement and why she wanted to look back at Tobin again.

_Just ease your curiosity…_

“What aren’t you telling me?” Christen twisted her upper body to look at the same spot Tobin was in, “Nothing Alex, really.”

“You’re lying, Chris.”

She found the group but couldn’t spot Tobin. Her desperate eyes scanned the area once more and saw the familiar hair swept to one side, leaning against a wall.

And she wasn’t alone.

She kept staring, drinking the rest of her whiskey as she watched the girl lean in closer, whispering something into Tobin’s ear and then backed away.

_This is absurd._

She was about to turn away until she saw a small smile form on Tobin’s face and she played along with whatever that girl was saying. Seeing the girl’s body get closer and closer towards Tobin’s made Christen’s blood boil and she just…couldn’t stop watching.

She watched the girl push away the little hair away to lean into Tobin’s neck, who willingly gave in by tilting her head a little to the right. She bit her lower lip, closing her eyes as the girl gave her pleasure that Christen couldn’t. Tobin’s hand drifted lower and lower, pulling the girl closer into her and laughing while at it.  
_Why, of all bars… This one’s the one that Alex decides to go to?_  
The music was loud and the alcohol made it a lot harder on Christen to think rationally. Alex didn’t punch her this time but looked at the direction Christen was staring at, not knowing that’s actually Tobin Heath. Christen turned around and signaled the bartender for another, Alex doing the same.

“Is that it?” Alex reached over to try and reassure her friend but Christen pulled away, “I just wish you’d talk to me.”

Christen gave her a small smile and rested her head against her fist, “I don’t think you’d understand.”

Alex straightened up at the comment and cleared her throat, “I’ve known you for how many years?”

“It’s not like that Alex, it’s…” She can hear the hurt coming from that rhetorical question, _just tell her._

“Tobin.”

Alex frowned, “What?” Christen sighed and waited until her friend put two and two together. Except, she wasn’t putting anything together, making Christen spell it out for her.

“I think I have feelings for a soccer player here…”

“Adam! Two beers.”

Christen stopped talking and she felt the panic swarm through her entire body once she heard the voice. Her back was to Tobin and she looked dead into Alex’s eyes, hoping she’d get the message.

 _Let’s go,_ she looked at the door and back at Alex, _let’s go._

Alex crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes, “Huh?”

_Ofcourse you don’t understand._

 “Sure thing, Tobs. Dinner?”  
“You know… I’m into girls right?” Christen heard the comment and closed her eyes, asking god to just make her disappear.

“Gotta always give it a try,” The bartender handed the two bottles to Tobin, “You made it very clear. Gotta stop with the girls by the way. It’s making the old men here jealous.”

_Wow, a regular. Okay, try one more time. Alex, I swear if you don’t get this…_

Alex returned nothing but an utter look of confusion, shaking her head as she looked at her bestfriend making weird faces, “You know I’m bad at this game Christen.”

“Christen?” Tobin looked around Christen to see Alex, “Holy shit, it’s ALEX MORGAN. Big fan right here.”

Tobin tried to point at herself but the Beers spilled a little, showing how clearly intoxicated she is to Christen. Or so, that’s what Christen thinks.

“Uh,” Alex looked at her friend and then gave Tobin a huge smile, “Yeah, that would be me. And you are?”

Tobin laughed a little longer than both Christen and Alex anticipated, surprising them both.

“Tobin. Tobin Heath.”

Alex’s eyes widened, her mouth forming a small, oh. Finally, everything clicked. Every facial expression that Christen made registered right then and there. She looked at Christen who looked at her drink in her hand, messing with the rim of the glass.

Alex looked back at Tobin, “I’ve heard great things?”

_Damn you Alex._

Tobin tilted her head and looked at Christen, “Oh yeah?”

“I mean,” Alex rubbed the back of her neck while looking at Christen in the corner of her eye, scared of making another mistake, “You are UNC’s finest?”

She grinned at Alex, “Thank you. I’m gonna go back to my date.”

“Right because we could all tell who that is.” Christen scoffed and drank her third glass of whiskey, unable to hold back how infuriated she has been with her the past half hour. Alex was typing in her phone at an intense speed, looking at the name of the bar before looking back down to her phone.

“I didn’t know we had an audience, I’m sorry Chris.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.”

“Yep. I’ll just Uber my way out of here.” Alex laid down a fifty and made her way towards the door without saying goodbye.

Christen got up to follow her friend out a minute later before looking at Tobin, “Living life to the _fullest_. It all makes sense now.”

Tobin tried to grab her arm to stop her but she was too fast, slipping right out of her grip. She put the two beers on the bar and ran after her. She didn’t know why but she did, completely forgetting about Beca.

Finally, she was able to maneuver her way around the crowd to be able to leave the bar. Tobin looked left and right, seeing Christen in the distance walking farther and farther away.

_Run. Just RUN._

Tobin sprinted across the road despite the lights being green for the incoming cars. She didn’t care about anything at that moment but the one that was getting away. She was only listening to her body that’s telling her to run after her; not the mind that’s telling her Christen has job security to worry about and NCAA rules that she needs to follow.

“Christen!” She was a few steps behind Christen but she didn’t stop to turn around, “Just…”

Tobin reached out to grab her arm and this time, she didn’t let her get away, turning Christen around to her.

“Stop,” She ignored her pounding heart and her labored breathing, “What did you mean?”

Christen looked up and shrugged Tobin off, “It’s nothing. Forget what I said, I just had too…”

Tobin laughed, “Many drinks? Yeah, that seems like it’s everyone’s go to excuse, huh?”

“Yeah, like you with that girl?” Christen ran her hand through her hair and closed her eyes, not knowing how she got herself into this mess.

Tobin got closer to Christen who took a step back, almost backing into a streetlamp.

“I haven’t had a single drink all night Christen.”

Christen looked at Tobin for the first time, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Tobin’s arms immediately went up and her voice got louder, “What are you feeling Christen?”

“I DON’T KNOW Tobin,” Christen rarely ever raises her voice but this time she did, pointing at the bar far behind them, “But I sure as hell didn’t like that girl all over you and your hands on her.”

“No, you do know!” Tobin took a step closer to Christen but this time, the advisor didn’t budge. She blinked maybe twice at those three words, _this is it._ “God, Christen I’m trying to get over you because I know I can never have you…you made that very, very clear.”

_This. Is. It._

“Don’t do this Tobin…”

“No,” Tobin got closer to Christen to the point that she was only a few feet apart from the girl, “Living life to the fullest is... It’s chasing after what you want.”

She felt more confident, feeling like everything was now ultimately coming together. Christen was frozen, hearing her own heartbeat beat against her eardrums. She couldn’t take that step back because she _knew_ she didn’t want to.

_No backing down this time._

Tobin took another step, reaching for Christen’s right hand, “And what you desire.”

The words took Christen’s breath away, igniting a fire in her that roared through her entire body.

“Yeah?” She implored with the only word that she was able to form. She saw Tobin’s eyes make their way towards her lips, “Christen, what do you want?”

Tobin’s waited for the first move, not wanting to make the same mistake twice. Gravity, what pulls us down pulled Tobin towards Christen, unable to resist it. She laid down her armor and threw her sword to the side, leaving her completely bare and vulnerable.

_You._

She could hear the despair in her voice, wanting an answer. “I…” Christen didn’t want to say it.

She wanted to show it. Christen closed the distance between the two by pulling the hand that found its way into hers.

_I want you._

Time froze but they didn’t. Christen leaned in slowly, refusing to acknowledge the whispers in the back of her mind telling her that there are rules being broken.

It could put her in trouble.

She didn’t care.

For once, she didn’t care about the rules or where she stands with her sexuality or her job.

She. Just. Didn't. Care.

Their lips connected, both of them breathing in deeply at the feeling that quaked through their bodies, shaking them both at their very own core. Christen shuddered when the two broke apart, wanting more than just a kiss. Christen took a step back, trying to process what just happened.

“Tobin, I…” _No, don’t do this Chris. Don’t fight this. God, I want more._

She listened to her own thought. She took that one step forward and used her own hand to pull Tobin in by the waist seconds later while the other found its way up to settle at base of Tobin’s neck.

The kiss was nothing like the kisses she has shared with all the guys in her past. This one with Tobin was soft, not rushed. Tobin’s hands were gentle yet strong, hesitant of where they go. Where with the guys, they were rough and too eager.

She liked how their bodies felt against each other.

Christen wanted it all, the whole nine yards.

This time, she ran her wicked tongue across Tobin’s lower lip slowly, begging for a deeper kiss. Tobin groaned and instantly gave in after Christen captured her bottom lip, wanting to get a taste of what she has wanted since the day she first laid eyes on her.

Her tongue slowly swiped against Tobin’s, who was entranced with the way Christen’s tongue moved against her own. Tobin can taste the remains of Christen’s favorite drink as they both fought for control. Her strong, trembling hands travelled down Christen’s back, aching to get underneath the shirt but she fought the alluring temptation.

Tobin pulled away from the passionate kiss a long moment later. She brought her hand up to push the hairs off the face that tore through every wall Tobin ever brought up.

Christen spoke up first after regaining her breath, “Does that answer your question?”

“Just don’t blame it on the Whiskey,” Tobin grinned when she heard Christen’s shaky laugh, “Please?”

“This time, I won’t.”

 


	5. Grading Scale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would like to thank all of you for telling me how you feel AND THE KUDOS. Friggin amazing people, I swear I can’t thank you all enough. Can’t write till Winter Break because of finals coming up, so I hope you all enjoy <3

“I didn’t.”

“What… Do… You… MEEEAN!!” Allie flung her hands up at the last word, “How does this not come up in the conversation?”

Tobin held her shrug at the top and awkwardly half smiling while tilting her head to the side, “There wasn’t really much talking Harry.”

_Lies._

Allie frowned at how sarcastic her friend was being right now, “Every chance you get to make that kind of innuendo, you take it.”

Tobin nutmegged her and jogged around Allie to get after the ball, “How do I even ask…” Allie turned around and put her hands on her hips, “Oh, I don’t know, don’t be the awkward Tobin everyone knows.”

Tobin frowned and nutmegged her friend again, “For the love of god Tobin, stand still!”

Allie turned around to see Tobin but she got nutmegged once more, “Okay, bye.”

She threw her hands up in frustration and made her way towards the McCaskill Center until she felt a ball hit her butt. Allie turned around slowly only to see her best friend giggling but stopped once Allie furrowed her eyebrows.

She can tell that her friend was upset, “I’m sorry?”

Allie didn’t smile, “Be serious.”

Tobin brought her hand up to her chest, “Cross my heart.”

Allie walked back up to her kicking the ball with a straight face, “So that’s all?”

 _Well. No._ Tobin recounted every single moment that lead up to the big bang. And really, it was a bang. In that moment she felt like she was falling into the ocean, letting every wave take its course as they crashed against her beating heart with every kiss. As every hour ticked by of the day, she got more and more excited knowing she finally gets to see the advisor after a long weekend wait.

“Yep.”

“Still trying to wrap my head around all this.”

Deep down, Tobin knew it was wrong but something pulls her towards Christen and she can’t stop that feeling. Before the kiss, she had this intense craving inside her. After the kiss, it left her wanting more.

 “I don’t know Allie,” She looked up to see her friend, “I have never met anyone like her.”

“Not even Becky with the good hair?”

“Not even Becky…” Tobin crinkled her nose at the comment, “You just told me to be serious and you quote Beyoncé?”

Allie sat down on the cold grass, patting the patch next to her and Tobin got the memo right away.

“Out of the...” Allie gave her a disappointed look, “…all the girls,” She rested her arms on her knees and looked straight ahead, “I have seen you with… You have never asked for a number.”

Tobin reacted quickly while juggling the ball with ease on the ground, “It’s because they get attached and want more than--”

Tobin hesitated and stopped juggling the ball, going quiet for a moment.

And it hit her. Christen was way more that.

“Sex.”

She hesitated because she realized that she wanted a number from a girl she didn’t even sleep with and Allie knew what this meant. She was way more than just any ordinary girl that Tobin found sexually appealing. She was more than a one-night stand. She was a girl who changed Tobin’s ways without her even realizing it.

Allie knew what it meant.

_She knows me better than I know myself._

“Exactly,” She looked over at her best friend, “Harry, this game you’re playing… it’s dangerous.”

Tobin sighed, “I know this already Harry...”

“Just let me finish,” Allie shook her head and smiled, “A number. Baby steps, okay?”

_Baby steps._

\--

 Christen paced back and forth across the room, unaware of Alex standing in the doorway.

“I know me leaving doesn’t do all _that._ ”

“Yeah,” Christen turned on her heels in surprised and grinned at her best friend, “I’m sorry. I was just thinking…”  
“…About Tobin?”

Christen sighed, her smile turning soft.

“Tobin.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Alex walked over to her friend and gave her a big hug, “Sad I couldn’t have the talk with that soccer player.”

“It was just a kiss,” Alex squeezed harder prompting Christen to speak up, “Oh my, okay. It was more for me atleast. But, you’d scare her off.”

Alex let go and kissed Christen’s forehead before grabbing her bag, “Can’t protect you if I’m in Cali, Chris.”

The former soccer player sat down on the bed and looked up at her friend, “Just, trust me… To make the right decisions.”

She asked herself the question multiple times, keeping her up at night when she couldn’t sleep. Her mind would always drift towards the night where Tobin chased her down. Christen has always been able to control her feelings and emotions on the field and off. Or atleast, she thought she did.

The kiss was something she had never experienced before. It wasn’t the same thing as the party during her third year of undergrad where Kelley took on a bet to take a shot off Christen’s stomach.

No doubt, did it entice the young Christen, especially when Kelley licked the salt off her chest and sucked the lime away while Christen held it with her own teeth. That was really the only kind of contact she ever had with a girl. But, the kiss with Tobin… It opened Christen’s eyes much wider, bringing an exhilarating rush of emotions, including happiness.

“I know.” Alex’s voice brought Christen back to reality, “My flight is in two hours, I should probably head out…”

There was a hint of sadness in her bestfriend’s voice, bringing Christen up to hug her again.

“Why do the goodbyes always feel like the first?”

Christen squeezed her eyes shut at the gut-wrenching question to avoid any tears escaping, “I love you, but Servando is waiting.”

“Servando can wait,” Alex let go, sniffling and wiping a tear away, “You have exactly 27 days to find a ma--ummm… a Date.”

The correction threw Christen in for a loop, “What was that?”

“What was what?” Alex raised her eyebrows defensively and looked up, “I mean, you are… I don’t know, practically head over heels for this girl so why not invite her?”

She hurried her sentence and picked up her bags to avoid the look that Christen was giving her. Alex has been itching to ask her all weekend but Christen kept avoiding any confrontations when it comes to dates.

“You know… Like a plus one?”

“Yes, I know what you are saying. Sweet Christmas,” Christen grabbed her keys from the dresser and headed for the door, “You do realize what you’re asking, right?”

 _Wait… UNC is playing UCLA that week?_ Remembering this tiny detail, Christen was actually considering it. Everything was just falling into place, as if Tobin Heath was the missing puzzle in Christen’s life.

_No, it was JUST a kiss. May not go anywhere. We’ll find out today._

“Yes, I actually know what I’m asking,” Alex followed Christen and continued, “Hence, why I asked the question.”

The advisor smiled at her friend’s sass, “Definitely a no.”

 “Yeah, okay.”

“Don’t ‘yeah, okay’ me.” She did her best imitation of her friend by deepening her voice, “I taught you that.”

Alex laughed at the comment, “Just consider it?”

“Fine.”

\--

_Okay, how to do this. Don’t bring it up Chris, just play this out._

She can hear Tobin’s voice getting louder and louder as she neared her office. Christen’s heart pounded against her chest, finally able to see the soccer player. She had no contact with her throughout the entire weekend, not knowing where the two left off.

Tobin’s laugh reassured her though. She knew that she couldn’t have possibly freaked the soccer player out by her actions three nights ago. Christen looked in the mirror quickly to make sure she looked good.

O _fcourse I look good, who am I kidding._

She wiped her clammy hands against her dark skinny jeans, “You got this.”

“Who got what?”

Christen looked up quickly, “I—me, uhhh nothing…”

 _Ofcourse she’d catch me talking to myself._ Christen felt the heat creep up her neck, unable to regain her composure.

“I was just preparing myself.”

“For what?” Tobin tilted her head to the side as she grinned at the struggling advisor.

 “I…” Christen laughed at herself and shook her head after she looked down from the embarrassment, “You. Crazy, right?”

“Yeaaah, most girls have to.”

Tobin pushed off the doorway and made her way into the room. She sat down and looked up at Christen who just squinted her eyes at Tobin, craning her neck to the side.

_I done screwed up._

“I meant like that I naturally do that,” Christen pursed her lips at the comment and it freaked Tobin out even more, “You know, I have that face.”

Christen nodded slowly and looked at her computer afterwards. _Just mute yourself Tobin, literally._ Tobin agreed to her thoughts and stayed quiet, messing with the hem of her shirt until she heard Christen speak up three minutes later.

“How many girls?”

 _Wait, what?_ Tobin panicked, “G-girls, HAH well. I don’t think we got to—“ Tobin jumped up in her seat when Christen turned to face her, changing her gameplan for answering this question when she saw Christen tilt her head.

“I was kidding… Four...teen.”

 _Was that a trick question to see if I keep count? FUCK._ Tobin looked down in her lap and snuck a peak at Christen then quickly looked right back down.

 _She keeps count?_ Christen raised her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair, “Wow.”

It’s crazy how much one syllable can effect a soul, especially Tobin’s own. She felt the judgement behind that word and gulped, looking back up.

“It’s my last year, meaning that I gave you a total. Don’t tell me you didn’t have your fair share of fun in college?”

Christen looked back at her screen and drummed her fingers on the keyboard, “Just two boyfriends.”

Tobin cleared her throat, _No girls?_

“That’s it?”

“Yep.”

Tobin shifted in her seat and then edged a little closer towards Christen’s desk, “What about—“

“Nope.”

“Not one?”

Christen smiled and looked at Tobin, “Not a single soul.”

Tobin rubbed the back of her neck and kept her eyes trained on the pair of eyes staring at her, “That’s so hard to believe.”

“Why’s that?”

Tobin laughed and edged back into her seat while still looking at Christen, _just say it. No! Baby STEPS._

“So, I’m the first?”

Tobin looked up to the ceiling, trying to talk to god even though he was definitely not looking out for her, _Obviously, dipshit. Jesus, what am I getting myself into._

“You’re avoiding the question?” Christen walked around her desk and sat on the edge. Tobin got up and sighed, doing the same thing by sitting right next to Christen on the desk. The moment their thighs grazed each other, Christen breathed in deeply but remained still.

“To answer your question,” _Play this right Tobs,_ “You’re… perfect. To know no one tried to get with you, I can see why Stanford just sucks all around.”

 “Please,” Christen was surprised, laughing hard at the lousy attempt of an insult, “I just never give anyone the time or day. It’s not the school.”

_Oh man, I shouldn’t have said that..._

“So you gave me the time or day?” Tobin beamed, ego started to shoot through the roof.

Christen panicked _,_ “I work here,”

Christen looked at the soccer player and smiled back at her, “I kind of have to deal with you.”

 _Damn, she got me._ Tobin faked a look of disdain and put one hand up to her chest, “That actually hurt.”

“Well,” Christen waved Tobin off and breathed in deeply before exhaling her answer, “Didn’t expect you to be so arrogant.”

Tobin was about to speak up but Christen wasn’t finished, “But then again… You go to UNC… Sooo…”

“Yep, let’s work on this paper.”

\--

An hour passed by with the two of them working on a paper, laughing at all the grammatical errors that Tobin made. Tobin was frustrated with how good Christen was at catching every mistake there was. She may have written this in a hurry but Tobin knew it was a good paper all around.

“Okay,” Christen circled one more mistake, “Really? What is this sentence doing here?”

“I swear to god… I actually hate that red pen.”

She picked up Christen’s copy of her paper that was filled with red marks everywhere, “I think we’ve done enough of this for the day.”

Christen was leaning down on the small table separating the two. It was as if they were playing a chess game, both of them waiting for the next move.

“We have about twenty-five more minutes in our session Tobin, you can manage.” Tobin narrowed her eyes and looked back down at her paper, huffing and puffing. She clearly showed her disappointment before an idea popped up in her head, “I mean… We could always do something a little more…exciting.”

Christen’s heart almost leapt out of her chest at the comment, looking at the door and looked at Tobin, “I’m at _work_.”

Tobin got up and walked around the table to sit at the arm rest of Christen’s seat, “Ever broken the rules Ms. Press?”

_Is she flirting with me right now?_

Tobin could tell that what she was doing was working. Christen tried to swallow but she couldn’t, “No, have you?”

_Why would you answer honestly Chris, seriously?_

Tobin smiled from ear to ear and looked to down at Christen, noticing how pronounced her jaw was. She continued to stare into the side of Christen’s face, “Multiple times.”

Christen could feel Tobin’s piercing eyes stare into the side of her face, making it ten times harder for Christen to stare straight ahead. She wanted to turn and challenge her but reminded herself that she’s at work.

“Tobin…”

“Wanna know a secret?”

“I’m at work.”

Tobin smiled and continued anyways, “I missed you…” Tobin’s eyes drifted towards the door, making sure it’s clear. Once she confirmed that there was definitely no one in the hall, she edged a little closer. Enough, to be able to whisper the words into Christen’s ear. Enough, to be able to smell the fragrance she was wearing.

“Break the rules.”

Christen shuddered, feeling her pulse quicken at the words and how Tobin’s warm breath felt against her ear. Tobin pushed off the chair and made her way towards the exit.

“Wait,” Christen called out, “Where are you going? Our session…”

Tobin kept walking and hummed along, “Keep up.”

She walked out the door and turned left, disappearing out of sight. Christen was finally able to breathe, curious to see where this was going. This is a game that she didn’t want to play because of the risks. But the level of desire she had, the need… to feel what she had felt three nights ago dissipated the little self-control she has left when around Tobin.

Christen has never done something like this before. She doesn’t remember the last time she ever broke a rule other than an offside or purposely fouling a girl to break up a fast break. But off the pitch…

She never broke a single rule.

Especially when it came to work.

She pushed off the desk and quickly took a left. Tobin was not insight but she continued to walk straight down the relatively long hall. There were only three other advisors on this hall but all their doors were closed.

_Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…_

She rounded the corner she never explored on her first day. She saw the only door creaked open and her heart started beating faster, anxious to see what Tobin has up her sleeve. She rubbed her hands back and forth against her skinny jeans, “You got this.”

Christen nudged open the door to see Tobin waiting for her in a chair.

“Finally.” Tobin grinned at Christen who walked in the large room that was clearly used in the earlier years for team meets, the advisor closing the door behind her.

She walked towards the large table, “I never knew this place existed.”

Tobin shrugged, “Noone does.”

Tobin got up and walked towards Christen slowly. The advisor cleared her throat and stood her ground, “Doubt that is true.”

“You’re the first one,” Every step closer made Christen squirm as she tried to anticipate the next move. _Okay, she’s getting closer. God, get ahold of yourself._ She couldn’t. She tried to, but she couldn’t, taking a step back as Tobin took one step closer.  
Christen followed Tobin even though she knew what Tobin was trying to do. She followed her like a fish trying to catch the bait. Christen took those steps willingly, and now she was here.

 _What’s the point,_ she thought as she watched Tobin take that one step forward but Christen backed into a wall. Her heart was racing because it put Tobin’s lips inches away from Christen’s.

Christen held her breath, sheer panic taking over her body, as Tobin shifted her weight on the hand that rested on the wall behind Christen.

“I don’t…” She pushed her way around Tobin and ran her hands through her hair, “Know how to do this, breaking the rules.”

She sat down on the table and waited for Tobin to say something but she didn’t. Instead, Tobin turned on her heels and walked to where Christen was. She looked down, unable to see Tobin get closer because she was embarrassed.

Christen felt a hand lift up her chin, making her look directly into the girl who was no longer the stuttering, frantic soccer player. She was a more confident, sexier thrill that Christen couldn’t shake away.

“Let me teach you.” Christen let herself be guided and closed her eyes as that same hand pulled her face closer, stopping right before their lips touched, “Like this.”

Christen now felt two, warm hands push her legs push apart as Tobin closed the distance off between the two completely. Her kiss was soft, sending an electrifying feeling down Christen’s spine, straightening her posture as she breathed in the kiss. Tobin played it slow at first, testing her limits and kissed her stronger a moment later, running her tongue against Christen’s lower lip before latching on, sucking softly.

She broke away momentarily only to deepen the next kiss. Christen could tell that Tobin was a pro at this, knowing exactly how to get a girl unraveled. The advisor could no longer hide from the truth, admitting to herself that she was already addicted to Tobin.

And with every addiction, there’s an ache. An ache caused by a need and desire to a particular… thing. In front of her, inches away from her, lies the cure.

The action alone released a small growl from the back of Christen’s throat. She wanted more, her aching hands itching to find Tobin’s body. Christen’s hands pulled in Tobin closer but Christen was the only moving. She slid closer to the edge of the polished, wooden table, pushing into Tobin’s front softly. Her hand slowly travelled down to rest on Tobin’s butt, wanting to get under the shorts and tighten her grip but held back.  

Biting down Christen’s lower lip, Tobin pulled away from the kiss, killing the advisor softly when Tobin took Christen’s hands off of her. Her eyes were dark and powerful compared to Christen’s innocent, apprehensive eyes. Christen had zero control, completely helpless.

Which by the way, she knew there was no way in hell she would let Tobin Heath, a soccer player, control the way this “session” goes.

“Let me…” Christen felt goosebumps rise on her arms as Tobin went in again. But this time, she planted a long kiss on Christen’s cheek then kissing the very jawline she was painfully resisting earlier.

“Be the teacher now.” She husked against her skin, pushing Christen’s hair behind her shoulder and didn’t waste any time biting down on Christen’s baseline. She gasped from the sharp pain but Tobin sucked the spot softly, making the pain go away. Christen’s grip on the table got stronger, not expecting how good it felt despite the pain.

“Fuck…” Christen couldn’t stop the word that exited her mouth so effortlessly. Tobin’s strong hands squeezed Christen’s thighs while working her magic, making her wonder what else can those strong hands can do.

“Tobin…I need to…” Christen couldn’t finish her sentence, moaning softly once Tobin ran her tongue across the same spot. Christen pushed Tobin away, unable to resist the need to taste the soccer player and touch her. She felt powerless but now she wants control.

She wanted the power and to show Tobin her true colors.

“My turn.”

She hopped off the table and pushed Tobin all the way back until the soccer player’s back met with the wall. Tobin smirked, “That’s all it took?”

_Don’t do this Chris._

Christen pinned her against the wall, “Like this?”  She used the same moves that her past boyfriend would make on her. Except, she was a little more aggressive than him. She wanted to show Tobin who the real boss was. She knew she was breaking the rules but that alone riled her up. With Tobin inside her system, she was more than riled up.

Tobin’s breathing hitched once she finished the sentence, only adding gasoline to the fire inside of her. She flinched once and gathered the courage to speak up.

“Almost.”

Tobin went in for the kiss, wasting no time to capture the lips that mesmerized her. Christen’s hands finally able to explore freely, one hand settling at the base of Tobin’s neck. Christen changed the angle of the kiss, sucking on the soccer player’s bottom lip, feeling way more confident once she felt Tobin groan softly into her mouth.

She broke away from the kiss pulling Tobin’s lip back with her, “Better?”

Tobin gulped once, feeling absolutely helpless. _Just keep playing this card_ , “Not quite.” She breathed in deeply once Christen ran the edges of her fingers down Tobin’s arm, feeling every single hair rise… Her hand went below her waist and found its place just above the back end of the knee, bringing Tobin’s leg up into her side as she pushed in a little closer.

There was _zero_ space between the two, their chests were pressed against each other. Christen gave Tobin a sly smile while her hand slid up slowly, tightening her grip on Tobin’s bare leg while her lips made their way towards Tobin’s pulsepoint.

The soccer player willingly gave better access once Christen planted an open kiss on Tobin’s neck, feeling her pulse racing. She bit down softly, sucking hard before licking the spot slowly and delicately. She felt Tobin’s body react against hers, pushing her front into Christen who clearly heard her hold back a moan. Christen smiled against Tobin’s neck approvingly as her lips planted kisses all the way up towards her ear, “Better?”

_Fuck, I’m so turned on right now._

“Solid B…” were the only words that Tobin could manage out. Christen narrowed her eyes, _is she challenging me right now?_ Christen wasted no time in finding Tobin’s lips, running her tongue against the bottom lip.

 _She asked for this,_ remembering what her ex would do when he pinned her against the wall. She grinded her right leg upward in between Tobin’s legs, who was unable to hold back the next moan from the shock her body just experienced as she grinded down against Christen. The pressure in-between her legs undoubtedly grew stronger, needing Christen as her body craved the action more.

_Every soccer player has a competitive side._

Once she heard what she needed to hear, Christen smirked against Tobin’s lips and pulled away. Tobin’s confused body wanted more contact, scared to touch Christen’s body in any way after she purposely gave Christen a grade she knew she wouldn’t like.

But god knows how much she wanted to push aside her fears and not give a damn.

_No._

Once she got her breathing under control, Tobin found it in her to speak up, _baby steps no more_.

“I want to take you out Christen…” Tobin was praying that she wouldn’t freak Christen out. She gave her one of her wicked smiles and reached out for Christen’s hand, “I… Really, really. Really, like you.”  
Christen cheesed harder, turning redder so she looked down, “Me too Tobin.”

 _Don’t say it,_ “And so it means we can’t do anything until I take you out.”

Christen’s head shot up and her smile turned more into a confused smile, knitting her eyebrows together as she tried to figure out the girl in front of her. Fifteen _minutes ago she told me to break the rules?_

“May I ask why the sudden change of heart?”

Tobin laughed louder than usual, “Because it took me all the willpower in the world not to take this further.”

Christen wasn’t expecting that type of answer. All she did was raise her eyebrows, _damn… I was that good?_

“I can’t control myself around you,” Tobin took her silence as a reason to talk more. She rubbed the back of her neck, “Like, I want you so bad right now.”

_I WAS that good._

“But I want to take this slow.”

A good ten seconds passed by with silence, Tobin feeling like it was atleast a minute, tearing her insides apart.

“Say something?”

Christen couldn’t help the smile that formed across her face, “I think I’d like that to.”

She went back in time, remembering how her past boyfriends never held back the way Tobin did. She found herself comparing them with Tobin again, realizing that she has never met anyone like her.

“Me too.” Tobin made a sour face right after that, wanting to punch herself, “But you already know that…”

Both of them started laughing and Christen walked towards the door. Tobin followed her but stopped dead in her tracks once she saw Christen twist around to face her once again, “Was I really a B?”

Tobin wanted to push a little further, “Okay, fine…”

She waited a few seconds before speaking back up, acting like she was thinking by tapping her chin with her finger. Christen’s eyes started to narrow in on her once with how long Tobin was taking to answer her.

_I swear if she says a B+._

“B+”

“I am so done.” Christen flung open the door and hurried out, hearing Tobin run after her while laughing hysterically.

“Chris!” She felt a hand pull her back around, facing Tobin who was now red from how happy she was and how much she laughed.

“I’m kiiidding… A and on top of that, extra credit with that last move you made.” Christen tried to keep a straight face but she exploded into laughter once Tobin winked.

“I’m telling you the truth!”

“You’re just telling me what I want to hear.”

Tobin frowned and brought a finger up, “Hold up, REWIND.” She tilted her head to the side, “Why is it when I tell you how I feel, you just don’t believe it? Girls… I swear.”

The advisor shook her head slowly and Tobin did the same thing, mimicking the way Christen looked at her.

“Right?”

“Tobin… I’m not like most girls.”

She just walked away right after she said that, _damn… She’s good, really good._ She walked behind Christen, leaving her speechless yet again. Tobin closed the door behind her and sat in her chair. Christen gave her a look, “Um, what are you doing?”

 “Um…What about our session?”

Christen leaned back against her chair, “Session’s over.”

 _Oh, okay._ Tobin looked at her watch and drummed on it before looking back up, leaning back exactly the way Christen did.

“We still have three minutes and exactly twelve seconds together.”

Christen smiled and straightened up, “Oh?”

"Uhhh huh..." Tobin grinned, "So, when are you going to give me your number?"

 


	6. Hat-Trick, Doughnuts, and Trust

Day 8 of 27:

“2-2 after the knuckleball sent in by Tobin tying the game up versus the Gamecocks!”

“Looks like we’re heading into overtime with Tobin’s second goal of the night!”

Christen watched the beautiful ball go right by the frantic Goalkeeper, holding her breath until she heard the stadium roar back to life.

The chemistry between the two best friends allowed Tobin to get in perfect position to send one in just outside the box, curving it almost into the upper ninety from the left side. The ball was virtually impossible to stop, confusing the goalkeeper and making her freeze as she was unable to predict the trajectory.

She was happier for Tobin than she was of the fact that they are heading into overtime, “I’m telling you, she is something special.”

“Especially with the way she could bend that ball so easily into the back of the net.”

Meghan crossed her arms against her chest and scoffed, “I would’ve never let a shot like that off. It was tooooo easy.”

Christen groaned at her friend’s cocky behavior, “Yes, we all know you’re the best back on the field.” Meghan cackled at the way Christen said it, giving the biggest and most glorious smile to Christen, “I know, I just had to hear you say-eeeet.”

Christen just shook her head as she watched the team gather around. Well, she didn’t watch the team. But rather, Tobin freaking Heath. She looked almost as perfect as she did going onto the pitch leaving the pitch. She had the most candid smile laid out across her face from happiness, despite the nerve wracking fifteen minutes they need to play next.

No matter what position she was in, she still found it in her heart to be _happy—_ one of the many traits that attracted Christen to Tobin in the first place. Rather than walking to where the team was gathering, Tobin walked straight to Meghan and Christen.

_What is she doing?_

“Um, why is she coming here?” Kling nervously chuckles and stuffed her hands in her back pockets, “On a side note, she’s kinda-cute.”

Christen didn’t think twice about her answer, “You have no idea.”

“Probably coming for me, wait…” Kling raised one eyebrow and turned her head slowly to face Christen when what her friend said finally registered.

“What’s that supposed to me-WaaaHEY Tobin, beautiful shot.”

“Hey guys,” Tobin looked at Megan first, “Dude, I’m a huge fan.” She looked at her with the most commandeering eyes, Christen knowing that look and what follows next.

“Christen.”

Tobin looked at Christen’s lips a moment too long, making it too obvious as she rested her hands on her hips. Christen’s nerves started working up like a fire and gasoline mixing together and pushed her head up higher, “Tobin.”

Tobin kept cheesing hard and took a little stab at Christen wanting to test her.

“Proud of me Ms. Press?”

Meghan straightened up her posture, mouth dropping, looking at her friend and crossed her arms over her chest. She started grinning at her former teammate, “Yeah Chris, proud?”

“Proud? Naaaah.” Tobin narrowed her eyes and bit her lip, urging Christen to push a little more, “Win the game?” Christen had to think about the next word she uses, “Then maybe.”

 “And if I win the game, what’s in it for me?”

Megan just stared at the two in disbelief, gawking at her friend practically playing a card every player knows. Christen wanted the competitive edge to come alive in OT, despite the 90 minutes she just played after coming back from a two week break. Naaaah but really, is that actually true?

“Free pass to do whatever you want in our next...session.”

“Guys?”

“Sounds like a deal.”

“Win the game, Heath.” Christen was smiling the entire time during the interaction, watching Tobin back away slowly while still keeping eye contact. Her eyes drifted downward to catch Christen’s smile one more time, “Only for you.”

_Oh, that’s a lie._

“I mean, did I miss something here?”

“Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.”

“As if that’s supposed to make me feel better.”

\--

_One last time._

Tobin watched the time tick away as she dribbled the ball up the field with haste after stopping a deadly attack from the flank. She felt like her legs were about to give out on her but she pushed past it, fighting her own need to just waste time and take it to PKs.

“Can’t believe she still has some energy left.” Klingenberg shook her head in disappointment, “Coach D should’ve subbed her out by now.”

“Nah, you don’t know her.”

Kling raised her eyebrows at Christen, “Apparently not as much as you do.”

Christen rolled her eyes and kept her eyes trained at Tobin on the other side of the field, “Whatever, I’m her advisor.”

“Come on Chris, that wasn’t advisor-athlete talk.”

Christen looked over at her friend and leaned in, “We’re kind of a thing.”

Kling’s eyes widened but she kept looking ahead, “A _thing_?”

The advisor rubbed the top of her head and ran her hand through her hair, “I don’t know.” Klingenberg punched her in the arm, making Christen yelp out loud.  
“What the hell?”

“Proud of you.”

Everyone in the stands were chanting her name as if she was some type of soccer goddess, excited to see the last game of the play.

_Alright, let’s do this._

Tobin scanned the field again as she reached midfield, seeing one close in on her. Tobin saw Allie’s sub push forward so she decided to do what she does best and continue to attract the midfielders to create an opening.

She slowed down as she marched five more yards, _breathe,_ and started touching the ball close, just enough to be able to catch her breath. The midfielder charging at her from the Tobin’s right stuttered in the end of her long sprint to try and trap Tobin but the Tarheel was much wiser than to let someone trap her.

She left an open hole for Allie’s sub to settle in for Tobin, who stepped over the ball and faked right, making her mark hesitate and switch directions. Tobin quickly gave a hard touch to the ball with her left foot and immediately started sprinting after it, attracting the wingback while the other chased after her.

“Forty seconds left of the second over time people!!”

Christen paced the sideline with Tobin, watching her like a hawk. She was truly amazed, just as amazed as this crowd after a full two hours of playing. Christen saw exactly what Tobin was trying to do and that was to create a perfect gip and go situation that will give her a clear shot at goal.

“Let’s go Tobin,” Christen’s heart was racing as she watched the player in action, whispering nothing but, “Let’s go.”

The whole crowd suddenly went quiet as the defender stepped forward, trying to force Tobin to run towards the corner. This was when Tobin looked to her right, seeing the sub sprint towards the hole she created. In a matter of seconds, Tobin took a step back, bringing the ball with her and making the defender take a huge step forward to try and kick the ball out, exactly what the star wanted.

She sent the perfect through pass through the legs of the defender to her teammate who was in stride, able to catch the ball.

She cut around the sub who pushed forward to the corner, her past defender now chasing after her left Tobin completely open to sprint towards the middle of the box.

 _Call for the ball_.

_10…_

The fresh pair of legs kicked the ball in front of Tobin, making the centerback come out and try to intercept it but Tobin got to it first. Tobin took a deep breath, _just like you and Allie practiced a thousand and one times._ She stepped over the ball, naturally rolling the ball up her heel and kicked it over the defender’s head, sprinting right past the shocked defender.

Christens mouth dropped as she watched the play live while Kling looked dumbfounded, “Wow.”

“The perfect rainbow…”

“5.”

“4.”

The crowd started screaming the numbers as the clock ticked down, making Tobin act faster.

 _Touch once,_ Tobin touched the ball once making the goalkeeper stutter, unable to make the decision of whether she should come out of her box or stay.

Nevertheless, whatever decision she made wouldn’t stop Tobin from making this goal.

To impress the girl of her dreams.

All her sweat and blood came down to this one, last.

Kick.

Every day at practice was making her better, stronger, and lethal. She put her all into this game and this was her moment.

And all she had to do was kick it as if it was her last time kicking the ball, as if it was her last waking moment on earth.

“3.”

To prove herself to everyone the type of elite athlete she is, Christen being at the very top of the list. She breathed in deeply and took that one step up, locking her angled foot in place before she cocked her leg back and leaned forward into the shot, giving it her _all._

 “2.”

She delivered the most powerful strike, following through with the shot and once she hit that ball, she knew it was nearly impossible for a freshman goalkeeper to stop.

“1.”

She watched the ball in slow motion as it zoomed right by the hands of the goalkeeper. It even touched the very ends of her fingers but the ball was so fast, so powerful, that it didn’t even effect its flight.

The ball spun in the back of the net for a solid second, everyone frozen on the field, including Tobin. There was a delay in celebration before the whole crowd of Fetzer field erupted as the clock ticked down to zero, cheering on the lady Tarheels.

 “SHE DID IT AGAIN!”

“A hat trick.” Kling just looked at Tobin in amazement, who did nothing but raise her arms up as swarmed around her. The crowd continued to cheer on her name and it made Tobin realize how much she is going to miss these raw, thrilling experiences.

Almost all the gamecock players just collapsed on the field, disappointed in the outcome of the game because it was their ticket into the NCAA tournament.

She was able to move through the big group of girls to start looking for the one person she really cared about. The one person that she was aiming to impress the most and the look on her face when she spotted Christen, was a look of amazement.

_Score._

Tobin walked over slowly, with this huge grin on her face, and it made Christen smile even harder. The advisor was genuinely happy for the soccer player and even happier that she was the first person she goes to. It was one of those moment that Christen wants to relish in, where the soccer player continues to defy expectations and thrive.

“So that was pretty great, huh?”

“Not so bad. Could’ve been betterrr-okay fine, that was impressive.” Christen switched directions with the way Tobin’s face fell flat, “I couldn’t have even done that. Especially in the last second.”

Tobin was about to answer until a young girl called out on her name from the front of the stand, “Can I get your autograph Tobin?!”

It made Christen’s heart flutter with how quick Tobin jogged over there, not thinking twice about what she should do. She was so sweet and caring, making conversation with the girl as if she didn’t have to go for the post-game interview.

“One day, I’m going to be like you.”

Tobin signed her soccer ball with the permanent marker and handed it back to her, “And play with me in the big leagues, right?”

_She was a natural._

The girl started tearing up, “Right.”

Tobin brought up her pinky finger to the girl in the stands, “Promise?”

Her fan’s face lit up and hooked her small, little finger around Tobin’s, “I promise.”

Christen was completely mesmerized with the way Tobin handled that fan. It was a side she has never seen before. It wasn’t the cocky, constantly flirting and joking Tobin but the more genuine, heartwarming Tobin.

It showed Christen that Tobin can be so mature in all the right times, despite her devious, unpredictable behaviors. It made Christen ten times more into her than she once was to the soccer player, wanting to kiss her right then and there.

But, she couldn’t.

She waited until Tobin jogged back over to where Christen was standing, “I did win the game for you.”

Christen shook her head, “Stop it, you won it for the team.”

“Nope, you owe me.” She winked after the statement and it made Christen laugh, “Nope.”

“But, you said—“

“Mmm,” It was Christen’s turn to wink, “Nope. Don’t remember. All I remember, is the last minute of the game.”

“Seriously?”

“Deadass.”

\--

Day 12: The weekend

Every since the day the two exchanged numbers, they haven’t stopped texting. They talked about things they wouldn’t typically talk about in a session. Christen found out that Tobin has a younger brother and two older sisters, Perry and Katie.

She also found out that her entire family lived in New Jersey but decided to move down closer for Tobin, living about two hours away from the campus itself. Tobin on the other hand, found out that she has two sisters, both living in Cali.

And she loves dogs.

“Okay, I am starving for some sexual details. My body NEEDS something. Don’t make me—“ Tobin stopped flipping through the channels and turned to look at her bestfriend, “There’s not much to…”

Tobin wanted to just not acknowledge her friend and hope she’d get the message. But then she realized, what the hell is the reason behind hiding what happened? She slowly came to terms that this was no longer a secret. Now, she got excited to share to her what happened in the session as her mind imagined every moment that lead to an even better one.

She bit her lip as she remembered the way Christen’s lips felt against hers, so perfect and soft yet powerful at the same time. She was missing an integral part of her life and she knew that it was what lead to the many rampages with different women.

Christen was there to revive her back to life. And she did, turning her whole world around.

She twisted her body to face Allie, “SO, about an hour through the session, I couldn’t control that need to like, kiss her. And so…”

“Skip the foreplay, HARRY!”

“She found me in the old conference room—“

“Wait, there’s an old conference room?” Allie tilted her head to the side in confusion and shook her head, “Don’t even answer that. Go on?”

“Well if you’d just stop interrupting me,” Tobin’s face clearly showing how impatient she was with her friend switched to a more genuine expression. She stared straight ahead past Allie and at the wall, remembering how alive she felt during the moment.

 _God,_ “She was hesitant, unsure of what to do. I made the first move and god, it felt so right. We were so close and… it was so intense. I’ve never…”

“Experienced something like that?”  
“YES!” Tobin got up and started pacing back and forth across the living area, “Harry, she got me worked up with one _move_ and then just.. _. stopped._ ”

“That good? She totally stopped on purpose.”

“That. Good. I could barely breathe when I was against that wall.”

“Damn, Rookie. She had you against the wall?”

“Huh? No, that. No, it was…” Tobin froze, realizing that her friend was right. She was so helpless, letting Christen control every moment. She explained what she felt to her friend as Christen kissed her so strong and with confidence. That it didn’t even matter who was the one in control.

“Well, I’m glad you stopped it from going further,” Allie looked very serious and was pretty calm, “It makes you look good.”

“Yeah, me too. Because god knows what I could have done in-- “

“Stop right there, no more details you animal.”

“Das me,” Tobin shrugged and threw the remote on the couch, “Calling it a night!”

\--

A week ago in that conference room has had her mind replaying the moment like a song on a radio. Tobin has her so far gone, that she can’t help but wonder how it could’ve been if she didn’t stop.

How Tobin would feel against her, naked and bare, while not holding back. She tossed and turned in her bed, unable to shake the feeling like she just got kissed for the first time ever and froze once she heard her phone vibrate against the cold, wooden table.

_Tobin, Heath._

Christen scoffed, “12 a’clock, huh.”

 _Tobin_ : _So, where do you live?_

Her heart skipped a few beats and Christen smiled knowing who it was, “You decide to text this now?” She bit her lip as she texted out the response slowly.

 _Christen:_ _I’m sorry?_

Tobin read the response and cackled out loud, catching herself and started to hum. She turned around on her stomach and confidently typed out her response.

 _Tobin:_ _You know, so I can come pick you up tomorrow?_

“HAAAAA.” Christen shot up in her bed to go grab a bottle of whiskey and a glass before quickly getting back in her bed, “Definitely going to need this.”

She took a large gulp, enjoying the sharpness of the scotch whilst planning how to answer this smooth reply. Clearing her throat, she read her response out loud.

“I got a better idea…”

Tobin’s dirty mind thought of all the endless possibilities that can follow that certain ellipse, “Tonight?”

Christen laughed out loud before drinking the rest, “Good lord.”

_Christen: I don’t think any place is open right now._

She thought of her next response, knowing how much it will unravel the soccer player.

A minute later, Tobin received another two texts and her throat went dry, mind drifting further. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard as she read the text over and over, mischief written all over her face.

_Christen: Besides, would much rather stay in bed._

_Tobin: Is this an invitation?_

_Christen: Lol, don’t get ahead of yourself now Heath._

_Tobin: What’s the one place you miss most in California?_

Christen laughed at how random the text was, “Really?” Her mind took her back to the days she and her sisters would go to California Doughnuts, where she would have the best, raspberry filled doughnuts in the west.  

_Christen: A little doughnut shop?_

Tobin put her running shoes on and grabbed her keys along with her snapback, leaving the room she just went in. Allie looked at her confused, “Thought you’re calling it a night?”

“Nope.”

Allie’s eyes narrowed in on Tobin, “Is… this a late night booty call from you _advisor?_ ”

Tobin shook her head and zipped up her pullover, “Why does your mind always drift there?”

Allie shrugged and looked at the TV, “I haven’t had sex in almost a month.”

“Wait,” A smile crept up on Tobin’s face, “Are you and Bato official?”

Allie rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at Tobin who easily caught it, “Bati, why is it so hard to get? And yes.”

Tobin opened the door laughing, “It’s a weird name, almost sounds like a… girl.” Allie threw up a middle finger and threw another pillow, “Have fun with your booty call. Try not to be… you.”

This time, it was Tobin who threw up the middle finger, hearing Allie’s small giggle before the door closed behind her. She looked down at her phone to type out a quick response and walked down the hall to the elevator.

_Tobin: Same._

Christen laughed, _What do you mean?_

Tobin looked at the text and got in the elevator.

_Tobin: I mean, I wouldn’t mind for some doughnuts right now._

_Christen: Ohhhh, eating without me?_

_Tobin: Well, who said I’m eating alone?_

\--

Tobin knocked at the door softly, holding Krispy Kreme doughnuts with the other hand. She turned around and started doubting her decision, getting nervous as she waited longer and longer for Christen to open the door.

_Maybe she didn’t hear._

_This was a mistake._

_I’ve known her for a solid two months; I shouldn’t be this nervous. I mean, we made out._

_Okay, I’m gonna knock again._

She turned around and brought her hand up to knock again but the door swung open, completely taking Tobin by surprise. Her mouth dropped when she saw Christen in nothing but a big T-shirt, toned tan legs showing. Her hair was a tussled mess and it was a beautiful look on her. Tobin literally had to remind herself to close her mouth and swallow, “Wow…” Tobin closed her eyes and looked up, disturbed by her own struggle to greet properly.

“Meant to say just… Hey.”

Christen leaned on the doorway and motioned Tobin in, “So this is our first date?”

“Yeah well if that’s the case,” Tobin walked in and scanned the modern Condo before turning back around to face Christen, “You look beautiful, Christen Press.”

The blush began to creep up her neck from the way she said it and the way she looked at her, with pure sincerity. It made Christen feel like the most beautiful woman in the world even in her natural state. _Change the subject, change the subject!_

“You don’t look so bad yourself?” Christen’s confused face scanned Tobin’s soccer pants, a black Nike half zip up pullover, and a Nike snap back.

“I mean, the snap back’s really helping your situation here.”

Tobin scoffed and placed her Doughnuts down at the coffee table in the living room, “Please, these Doughnuts look better than me right now. We need milk!”

Christen disappeared into the and came back with a new bottle of her whiskey and a glass of milk. Tobin sat down on the couch, patting the space next to her in an enthusiastic manner. She was nervous and the way Tobin coped with it was well, being herself and talking too much.

“Whiskey? I thought on first dates, it’s Wine?”

Christen took a bite of the warm, glazed doughnut and moaned, “Real women drink Whiskey. And milk??”

Tobin ate a doughnut and took a sip of her milk, “I couldn’t agree more. Did you know that milk is very good for the bones?”

 _Bones?_ Christen just nodded her head slowly and ate her doughnut, grabbing another from the dozen that Tobin got, _what do I even say to that?_

 _BONES? Jee-ZUS,_ Tobin itched the back of her head and just laughed at herself, realizing right then and there why Allie told her not to be herself.

“Can we start over?”

\--

The two of them connected over the doughnuts and drinks promising each other that it’s going to be a regular thing. They laid down close but not close enough to the fireplace for warmth, laughing at their own childhoods’ and talking for hours, forgetting what time even was. Their only focus was towards each other and nothing else, no soccer.

“I can’t wait until you officially meet her,” Christen stared into the flame, “Her wedding is in… 3 weeks?”

“She’s getting _married?_ ”

“Yeah, Servando’s in for a treat.” _Ask about whether she would want to be her plus one… No, too early. Way too early Chris._

Tobin laughed and looked over at Christen, “And why would you say that?”

“Well,” Christen nudged herself a little closer and rested her head on Tobin’s strong shoulder, “I lived with her for two years after playing Soccer overseas.”

Their bodies were touching, Christen itching to hook her leg around Tobin’s but she didn’t have the courage to do it. All she did was rest her hand on Tobin’s stomach and she felt a small reaction come from the other end. Tobin got very stiff as she felt her heart beat faster from _just_ the smell of Christen.

 _Keep it together._ Tobin took a massive gulp keeping her eyes trained on the high ceiling, “Two years? Long time…You must miss her.”

Every time Christen wanted to kiss Tobin, she held back. She would look at her lips and wish she could just steal one kiss. And Tobin would feel the same way, wanting to just lean in and capture the very lips she’s wanted as they lied next to the fire, both cuddling under a blanket.

Neither one of them wanting to make the first move.

“The occasional visits from past teammates gets old,” Christen closed her eyes and her breathing became slower.

The soccer player’s hand went up and down Christens arm but stopped once Christen’s leg hooked around Tobin’s leg and moved upwards, resting on her thigh. Christen edged her body closer into Tobin’s side, doing it without realizing her actions from the lack of sleep but Tobin sure did.

“What will never get old was waking up to Alex either ranting or trying to get me to play Soccer again.” It reminded her of her conversation with Alex before she left. _Ask her to train with you, just do it._

“Speaking of… I wanted to ask you something.”

“About?”

“Soccer. I want to start training again and…” Christen got up and looked away for a moment before she started messing with her nails, “I was wondering if you’d want to, maybe train together?”

Tobin’s silence sparked an unreal amount of panic inside Christen, “I know it sounds stupid, nevermind. I can just get a—“

“I’d love to.”

“It’s going to be hard.”

“I don’t care.”

“I know but I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do—“

“Who says I don’t want to do it?”

Christen got up very excited and looked down at Tobin smiling, “Are you sure?” Tobin propped herself up on her elbow and smiled, ”There’s one thing I need to address…”

 _Ohhh boy,_ “And that is?”

Tobin edged her face a little closer to Christen’s, “You gotta come closer, it’s kinda a big deal.” Christen’s curious mind pushed her to follow Tobin’s words, getting closer and closer, feeling like a teenager again.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night,” She started tapping on her chin like she was actually thinking.

“Aren’t we supposed to kiss on a first date?” Christen smiled softly before bringing her hand up to brush Tobin’s cheek softly and looked into Tobin’s eyes, “Thought you’d never ask.”

Christen took her time after the last word, looking down at Tobin’s lips and leaned in to place one, very soft kiss on Tobin’s lips. Christen smiled against her lips, “Technically, we’ve had many dates.”

“So that means I could do this?” Tobin quickly snaked her arm around Christen’s waist and brought Christen back down to the floor. She leaned over her waiting for Christen to stop laughing. It was music to her ears, making her want Christen even more.

Her anxiety was getting the best of her, hand fiddling with the rim of Christen’s T-shirt wanting to get underneath. Christen’s laughter disappeared along with her smile, looking up at Tobin with gentle eyes.

She was so vulnerable under Tobin and it scared the soccer player, unsure if she could trust herself.

Tobin suddenly felt angst, noticing that the hunger inside of her wouldn’t be cured with just a make out session with the advisor. She didn’t want to rush and if she kissed her, it would unlock so many emotions that she wasn’t ready for. She pulled away, sitting up to look at her watch and just frowned, “It’s four, I should probably go…”

“No,” Christen grabbed Tobin’s hand before she tried to get up, “Stay.”

The way she said it was so soft, an offer Tobin could not refuse. _Just kiss her!!_

“I mean, it’s late and I wouldn’t want you driving this late.“ Tobin tried to overcome her own nerves and go with what her mind was urging her to do but she couldn’t. She wasn’t able to let go of the rattling fear inside of her. She was never one to show her emotions, but this time she did.

Christen waited for any sign or a tell or rather, just a word but she didn’t get either three. She brushed the loose hairs out of Tobin’s face who couldn’t look at her, “What’s going on?”

It took a solid minute for Tobin to speak up, barely above a whisper, “I just don’t… Want to mess this up. Out there on the pitch, I wanted to impress _you._ Not win the game for Dorrance, but _impress you._ ”

Christen was taken by surprise, words flowing straight out of Tobin’s mouth and straight into her heart. She was speechless.

_She wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to win only for me._

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You won’t.”

Tobin looked up at Christen who looked so beautiful with the fire glistening on her skin, illuminating the brunette. She had to look away, “What makes you so sure?”

Christen sighed and tucked her knees into her chest, resting her chin on her arms as she looked at the weak embers fighting to stay alive.

“You’ve shown me a side of me that I never knew existed…Everything makes sense now.” Tobin smiled and looked over to where Christen sat next to her, “I trust you. That’s why.”

Tobin tried to remember the last time a girl, other than Allie, has told her these words. It was years ago when Tobin truly experienced her first relationship and it didn’t end well. Only because it was Tobin who sabotaged the relationship, leaving for North Carolina and never looking back.

She broke things off with Elena for _her_ dream, to become a soccer Phenom. She didn’t regret her decision, only that she never said goodbye to the girl she’s been with since freshman year of highschool.

That’s what Tobin does, she runs away from the good things and with Christen, she’s scared that she’s going to do the same damn thing.

And Christen isn’t considered a “good” thing. No, she was far from that criteria.

She’s the best thing that has ever happened to Tobin and Tobin knew this.

_What happens if I get drafted to a team far from Christen’s?_

_What if the only time I’ll ever get to see her is when she’s practicing with the national team?_

_Does this mean a long distance relationship?_

_But she trusts me._

_That’s all that matters._

_Trust yourself._

“Hey.”

After a long moment of silence, Tobin finally spoke up to get Christen’s attention. When Christen turned her head to look at her, fighting the need to sleep, that’s when Tobin pinched her cheek.

Christen’s head shot up and frowned, “Ow, what was that for?” She looked at Tobin who was leaning against one hand on the floor and her legs sprawled out.

“I had to wake you up,” Tobin reached up to rest her hand right at the base of Christen’s neck, feeling her rapid pulse, “So I can do this.”

Tobin pulled Christen in in one quick move and planted one, subtle kiss on Christen’s lips before pulling away to see any signs of regret. But, there wasn’t any, “Thank you.”

“For?”

“For trusting me.”

“You didn’t have to—“

She closed her eyes and leaned in again, not caring about any of the questions that overwhelmed her mind. This time, she kissed her a little harder, smiling against Christen’s lips once she felt Christen switch positions and the angle of the kiss.

Christen was uncomfortable but the kiss felt so good, that she wanted more than that. Yes, the pinch may have woken her up a little but the smell of Tobin so close and her lips… It was like Tobin was the caffeine Christen needed to jolt her awake.

Christen pleaded for a little more, biting the bottom lip of Tobin’s softly and pulling back, almost instantly going back in to get better access.

Given the fact that they were awkwardly side by side and Tobin had to use one hand to hold her up while her Torso was twisted to the right to face Christen, they couldn’t do _anything_. The not-so-advisor finally made the ultimate decision or rather, her furious body that craved more contact did. She broke away from the kiss breathing heavy, looking at Tobin with dark, vivacious eyes.

She threw one leg over Tobin’s  and held herself up by placing two hands on Tobin’s shoulders. _You can do this, you can do this…_ Tobin did her best not to fidget, hearing her own heartbeat pound through her ears as she remained as still as possible as Christen got on top of her.

Christen bit her lip from the concentration and sat down, heart beat heavy and mind going haywire. They stared at each other, not sure which one should make the move first. Tobin was taken back all the way to 2008 where she was too young to know what to do.

But she was probably the most experienced girl when it comes to these situations, yet she’s stuck in 2008 when Elena and her made out for the first time after a soccer game.

_Okay, just do it._

Tobin’s nervous hands slowly worked their way up Christen’s bare, warm legs, as she watched her muscles twitch from the touch. She looked up at Christen who wasted no time leaning in, taking Tobin’s lips into hers. She entranced Tobin with the way she kissed, with force but with passion.

There was something different about this kiss, hearing a small whimper from the back of Christen’s throat leave after their tongues clashed. The kiss was so much stronger, stronger to the point that their teeth were a part of the long battle too.

The actions alone drove her insane, diminishing the little self-control she has left. Tobin’s grip on her legs got stronger, feeling the very muscles flex beneath her hands.

Tobin could tell Christen mastered the art of kissing despite just having two boyfriends. Her tongue explored with tenacity, fighting Tobin’s every second, refusing to give in.

Tobin’s hands wanted to explore but so did her lips. Tobin left the kiss and found a spot to attack just below her ear, biting down softly.

Christen gasped loudly and she grinded down hard, _Fucking hell, that felt so good._

 “Ugh… Again.”

Tobin repeated the same thing again, biting down harder this time, and licking the spot slowly in a torturous manner. Christen moan louder but this time it was Tobin’s name, grinding down harder into Tobin who groaned against her neck at the feel of Christen against her leg. The sound alone awakened a beast inside Tobin, wanting to hear that sound once again.

 _Dear god…_ She started threading her fingers through Tobin’s hair and held herself steady as the soccer player worked her neck before moving up to her ear. All she did was say a few words to just send Christen over the edge, shuttering Christen straight to hell.

“I want you so bad.”

She had so much fire inside of her that needed to be released, so much pressure building up and the weight behind that those words wasn’t helping either. She needed to _feel_ Tobin against her.

Rather, she needed to _feel_ Tobin _inside her._

This time, she had no control over who does what, giving Tobin everything she wanted because the pleasure she was feeling… She wanted it to continue and ofcourse, it did.

Tobin felt Christen’s legs tighten around her legs, her body starting to perform involuntary reactions. No doubt, can she feel the wetness against her sweats and it was killing her, wishing she can just rip those panties off and explore deeper but she held back.

_Don’t do it._

She started trail of open kisses down her throat before Christen grinded down again, this time harder, as she grabbed Tobin by both sides and kissed her fiercely. She couldn’t control what her body was doing, pushing down into Tobin’s leg and grinding with every intention of somehow releasing some of the pressure that was so, so powerful.

“Fuck…” Tobin moaned against her lips, pulling Christen closer so that their chests were touching.

Christen needed friction but she needed Tobin to let go of her fears, to recognize how much Christen wants her. How, she doesn’t want to do this with anyone but just,  _her._ She found Tobin’s hand and rested her forehead on Tobin’s, closing her eyes as she struggled getting her breathing under control.

Christen opened her eyes and squeezed her hand once to reassure her, “I trust you.”

Tobin let her hand be guided beneath Christen’s shirt, slowly moving up while keeping her eyes trained on Christen’s blue-grey, wild eyes that Tobin could’ve sworn was green stared right back. Her hand started exploring on her own without Christen’s assistance before she went in to kiss her again.

This time, it was a softer kiss, slower and tentative. Christen moaned against Tobin’s mouth at the touch of Tobin’s nails grazing softly up her waist before it hit more of the lacy material. And her hand just froze.

The only thing that was stopping her was the fact that she is the first girl that Christen has ever been with. This was probably one of the more delicate situations that Tobin didn’t want to rush.

But, since when does Tobin ever pull away from any situation that’s as perfect as this?

And so, Tobin pulled away and easily lifted her up and brought her back down softly against the cold, hard wood next to the fire. Both held their breaths, wanting to take this further and Tobin was so turned on, that she didn’t want to turn back now. She looked down at Christen as she towered over her, right into her fiery eyes.

“I think I’m falling for you,” Tobin looked up and laughed at how _untrue_ the words were. Because deep down, she knew she already did. She knew that once she felt Christen’s lips against hers that very night she chased her, she just _knew_.

Every little thing fell into place after Christen’s arrival, giving Tobin something to fight for that’s _not_ soccer.

“I take that back… I already have.”

 She looked back down and moved the hairs out of Christen’s face, waiting for her to say something. _Say it back, say it back, say it… back._ Tobin chanted these words while she looked at Christen with pleading eyes. She was just smiling, not doing anything but… smiling.

“Me too.”

_Just. Kiss. Her._


	7. Rivals

Tobin watched the girl of her dreams sleep peacefully, waiting for her to be woken up by the subtlety of her touch against her back.

“Mmm that feels good…” Christen smiled while her eyes were closed, feeling like this was all too good to be true. Tobin kissed her shoulder before getting out of bed, putting on her panties and her jacket. She looked back at Christen who frowned, wanting Tobin to do the opposite.

“No pillowtalk because we all know what that’ll lead to.” She leaned against the doorway waiting for an answer. Christen shoved her head into her fluffy pillow and groaned, “All good things must come to an end.”

She got out of bed and put an old jersey on, following with a pair of boxer shorts. Tobin watched her get dressed, hoping that one day she’ll be able to wake up to her in the morning to take it right back off.

“Breakfast. And then…”

\--

“Really? You’re going to make me train?”

Tobin raised one eyebrow and pursed her lips, “I’m not the one who’s been off the field for… Wait, remind me how long it’s been?”

Christen tied up her shoes and got up, wiping the sand off her legs. The low tide through the night did a perfect job wetting the sand to run along the shoreline, making it easier for the two to start the day off by cardio.

“Tobin…” She leaned into Tobin’s ear, “You could barely keep up in bed.” Her warm breath trickled against her skin, making Tobin practically squirm while images of the two popped up in her head. Tobin closed her eyes for a second too long, trying to think of a good comeback but nothing came up.

“I’ll give you a headst—wait what?” She opened her eyes midsentence and looked around, spotting Christen maybe 30 yards away, “Or give yourself one, that’s cool.”

The two ran towards the pier four miles away, Tobin refusing to let the advisor win. Thinking, she was way more conditioned than her, “You were saying?”

Christen tried to not show her struggles but she made it harder on herself to breath, “I have a brace on.”

 _Shit,_ Tobin forgot about the small detail. She knows how much speed it can take away from someone who isn’t used to running with it. Christen swiftly took the brace off in two moves, throwing it to the side.

“Are you sure?” Tobin challenged, Christen shrugged and put her beats back on. The former soccer player has never let anyone beat her in a run, including Alex.

“Smoking your ass will be easy.”

Tobin scoffed, “Yeah, okay.”

\--

“You were _saying?_ ” Christen ran this beach so many times, this could be considered warmup for her. Tobin on the other hand, will do with the cardio she does in scrimmages and agility training with Allie.

“You beat me by like three steps.”

“In a game, that would’ve been a goal.”

“In a game, I wouldn’t have had to run 8 miles straight chasing a girl.” Tobin corrected Christen who was just smiling at her. Christen’s nose crinkled at the lame defense and finally looked away, not bothering to reply back to that and grabbed her car keys, “Ready?”

Tobin crashed on the couch drinking the rest of her water, looking up giving Christen a pure look of utter confusion.

“What now…” She pleaded, her legs feeling so weak but Christen was completely fine, even with her knee. “Oh, we’re going to go do the real training.”

“Please, I love you but no.” Tobin’s eyes widened at what came out of her own mouth, looking at Christen who turned around quickly at the words. She never said something so casually before in her life, stunning Christen as she sat down next to Tobin.

“I… love you too.” Christen licked her lips and without any hesitation, leaned in to place one, slow kiss on Tobin’s lips.

It still felt like it was their first kiss ever to Tobin, “If I knew that was what’s going to get me out of cardio, I would’ve said it a lot longer ago.”

Christen was about to speak up but Tobin just smiled and leaned in only to kiss her again. This time, Tobin shifted her weight onto Christen, urging her to lay down and she complied without breaking the kiss, pulling Tobin down with her.

Tobin edged herself between Christen’s legs, pressing her body down against Christen’s. She wasted no time to kiss Christen again without any haste, knowing the two had all day to themselves. She left her lips and started leaving a trail of kisses down Christen’s neck while her hands found it’s way underneath Christen’s tank.

“You need a shower.” She husked out in between each, awfully captivating kiss of hers. She bit down once and licked her salty skin, killing Christen slowly.

Christen’s moaned in approval, her body arching into Tobin’s involuntarily, “Yeah, you’re right.” She pushed Tobin off her, eyes showing nothing but mystery.

Christen starting walking towards the direction of the restroom, Tobin’s body willingly following her. Tobin took a massive gulp as she watched Christen strip slowly, taking off her tanktop and kicking off her shorts on the way.

When she made it into the restroom, she turned around to see Tobin fully dressed, frozen at the doorway. Christen bit her lip as she let her bun fall, natural curls falling right below her shoulders.

Tobin just watched, completely stunned with how beautiful her girlfriend really was. She was at a loss with words, breath completely taken away once she took her sports bra off and threw it to the side, her eyes never leaving Tobin’s.

“Chris…” Tobin’s breathing became slower once she saw her hands drift towards her panties, Tobin wagged her finger and started walking towards her slowly, Christen looking confused thinking she did something wrong until she saw Tobin's coy smile emerge.

“I take that off, not you.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

\--

Day 19:

“I just don’t know how to ask her! It’s a big step, being a plus one and all. That’s like officially _official._ ”

“For the love of god, she said she loves you! It’s not hard Chris!” Alex was yelling at her through the phone making Christen grab her earphones quickly before anyone hears.

“What’s not hard?”

_Always walking in at the worst times._

Christen looked up at Tobin with innocent eyes before looking back down at Alex, glaring at her.

“Yep, that’s um. My bad, just uh. Call me?” Alex gave her a huge _I’m sorry_ smile before hanging up, leaving Christen alone with Tobin.

There was an awkward silence in the room as Christen tried to figure out a way to ask her to be her plus one. She got up and quietly closed the door behind Tobin before returning to her seat and sitting down.

Christen was about to speak up but Tobin beat her to the punch, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“WHAT!” Christen’s nervous laugh was so loud, she was certain that the advisor down the hall could hear her even through closed doors.

“I would _never_ , break up with you over here.”

Tobin frowned, “So you’re saying you’d break up with me?”

“What, no!” Christen sighed and leaned forward, clasping her hands together as if she was about to make a serious deal. With a stern look on her face, Christen answered her question.

“I wouldn’t break up with you period.”

Tobin’s half-smile showed up once she said that, “So what is it?”

Christen itched her head and looked away towards computer, “Alex was just talking about her wedding.”

She said it quickly as though she didn’t want to talk about it, averting her eyes from Tobin’s gaze and ridiculously charming smile.

“Whaaat about it?” _Stop dancing around the question Chris!_ Tobin wanted to get the invitation out of her, “Who are you going with?”

“Noone.” Christen fingers drummed against the black keyboard, humming out her answer.

“Oh?” Christen laughed softly before turning to look at her, knowing where Tobin was getting at.

“Mhm.”

Tobin didn’t know where to go from there so she blatantly just stared at Christen who stared right back, savoring the moment.

“Fine.” Tobin’s eyebrows shot up and her glamorous smile reappeared as she heard the words she was dying to hear.

“Will you be my plus one?”

“Aww,” Tobin leaned back and enjoyed the moment, “I’d be honored to.” She quickly got up and opened the door, “I gotta go see the coach. Text me the details!”

Christen already pulled out her phone to do so, “Already am.”

\----

The night after the game: 24 of 27

“No, Christen. It’s not like that!” Tobin struggled keeping up with Christen, “Please!”

Christen turned around, her eyes filled with anger and tears that fell down her face shortly after, Tobin who almost ran into her. The hotel hall was empty, naked walls with meaningless portraits. She couldn’t stand seeing the tears that fell so easily so she reached out to brush them away but Christen backed away, putting one hand up.

Tobin looked down and took one step forward, “Christen…”

She put her arm up and took one step back, “I trusted you.”

Tobin looked up, blinking twice from the impact those words had on her heart. It felt like a truck had just hit her, taking her breath away.

_Past tense._

“Those two guys…” Christen unlocked her door and looked back at Tobin, “They broke my heart.”

Tobin tried to speak, _I swear it wasn’t like that_ , but she couldn’t. She couldn’t, seeing the way Christen was looking at her in… Pain.

It silenced her completely.                                  

“I can’t go through the pain I went through again. Just go Tobin…” Her voice broke while saying those words while choking back her cries. Christen went in and shut the door soon after, crashing on the floor and cried a silent storm. Tobin could hear her sobs that she knew Christen was trying to muffle through the thin walls of the Hotel.

Her body slid down the wall right next to the door, eyes heavy with tears, completely shocked with the way everything went down.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this…” Tobin leaned her head against the wall, silent tears falling against her face, hearing Christen next to the door, physically feeling her heart breaking into a million pieces.

“I can fix this.”

~

Sophmore year: September 2009

“Who is she?” Tobin tied her cleats up and looked up to see the back of a girl who walked on. The captain of the team/best friend, Carly, tied her cleats up and started stretching next to Tobin.

“Elena Ramos. Apparently, she was practicing on the field and Coach saw her. Just picked her up because she was that good.”

“Coach Williams would never do that…” Tobin said the words as her eyes stared at her new competition, “Doesn’t change anything. Right?”

Carly chuckled, “Oh, it changes everything.”

She saw the girl start warming up, keeping her legs moving as she kicked a ball back and forth to another teammate. When she’d step forward and put her weight on that one leg, she could literally see her quads bulge out, _fucking what_. Tobin’s eyes scanned Elena’s body, suddenly feeling jealous of how perfect her body was. She was wearing a black tank and black spandex shorts (that were pretty damn short) with worn down cleats.

But no doubt in Tobin’s mind was there a glimmer of attraction, throat getting dry as her eyes wondered towards Elena’s butt. She shook her head in hopes to shake the thought of how perfectly around her butt was and so she started her daily stretch.

_Ugh, Latinas and their genetics._

She must’ve said it out loud to where Carly’s head whipped around to glare at her, “Excuse me?” Tobin gave her a glamorous smile and started cackling, _literally._

“You guys look great naturally.”

Carly couldn’t keep a straight face with how red Tobin was getting. She knew that she was talking about Elena, “Staaaap, really? How sweet of you.” Tobin’s eyes were about to go back to where Elena was warming up at before Carly started wagging her finger in her face, “No, No-no-no-n-no. Eyes. Here.”

She was in such good shape, it made Tobin realize how she didn’t measure up to the type of physique she had. Her competitive edge slowly coming back to life, _maybe I should go introduce myself._

“I’m just going to go introduce myself.”

Carly scoffed, “Good luck!”

_Why would I need luck…_

Tobin pushed herself off the turf and straightened up her bad posture after seeing Elena’s back completely straighten up. _Just, don’t be awkward._

“Hey.” Elena whipped around and Tobin was finally able to see the new soccer player’s face. She raised her eyebrows while Elena’s furrowed into one. Her high cheeks and long face, perfect caramel complexion, and amber eyes shocked Tobin so bad she had to take a step back, losing her breath.

“Hey?” Elena’s tone was very questioning, shooting Tobin a confused look and smiled just a little before it disappeared into a frown. Tobin’s eyes went down towards the smile, _perfect teeth. Holy shit, look back up!!!_ Her eyes quickly went back up, “Umm… I’m Tobin.”

Tobin brought her hand out in front of her, expecting Elena to shake it but she just looked at it and crossed her arms across her chest.

“I’m not here to make friends.”

_What the fuck?_

“Yeah but we’re—“

“Teammates,” Elena rolled her eyes and huffed out a long sigh, “Not for long.”

“Three years is pretttty long.” Tobin corrected her and clicked her tongue at the end, smiling hard in hopes to get the girl off her high horse.

“Yeah, whatever _Tobeen.”_

“Yeah, _Whatever Ah-Lena_. It’s Tob _-in,_ not _Tobeen._ ” Tobin mimicked the way she said it. She knew a scrimmage was coming up and god knows how much she wanted to whoop her ass now. She rolled her eyes and started walking towards where Carly was warming up.

“See you on the field!” She heard Elena yell out and felt the eyes stare at her as she walked away. She made it to Carly, “I’m going to ruin her.”

Tobin’s heart was pounding so hard from the anger and Carly just looked at Elena’s direction, “Already, Toby?”

Tobin watched her juggle with ease and looked back at Carly with nothing but determination in proving her dominance over the new player.

“Already.”

\--

Turns out that Elena plays the same position at Tobin’s. Forty minutes into the scrimmage was when Tobin called for the ball, Elena immediately following up.

_Your time to shine Tobs._

Elena went into a defensive position, pushing against Tobin’s behind as Tobin aggressively elbowed her into the side hoping to shove her away. Elena, who was furious, tried to get the ball with her left foot but Tobin kept it away from her with her right.

It was the most intense, physical contact Tobin has ever dealt with in the game of Soccer, “Not going to let you get it.”

Elena’s face was next to Tobin’s ear, “Okay, _gringa_.” Her hot breath sent a cold chill down Tobin’s spine but also more anger at the fact that Elena is playing so dirty.

“I was only trying to be friendly but now you’re just pushing it,” Tobin breathed out and was ready for action, “Come and get it _pendeja._ ”

She spun off the Latina’s body towards the outside while simultaneously kicking the ball with the inside of her left foot through her rival’s legs.

_Thank god for nutmegs and Spanish lessons from Carly Esperanza._

She kicked the ball hard after the midfield marker, hearing Elena chase after her, Tobin trying to count how many steps Elena was behind her.

 _One step… No, two. Fuck._ Her legs were burning as she gave it another hard touch, the two players now in stride with each other.

Sadly, Elena was faster and had a much larger stride but she intentionally gave Tobin a shove once Tobin kicked the ball again, Tobin regaining her balance and shoving her right back. This time, Elena gave her the hardest shove Tobin has ever felt, losing her footing and went tumbling down on the turf.

She felt the sharp pain from the blades of the artificial grass running across her elbows and scraping her knees in the process of rolling to the side atleast three times. The coach whistled so loud, everyone froze but Tobin who was filled with rage at this point.

She quickly got up in Elena’s face and gave Elena a shove, “You did that on purpose!” Elena was surprised and gave Tobin a shove right back, “Fue por tu culpa _puta_.” Tobin felt so angry at the fact that she would ever think Tobin started anything so Tobin attacked her right back, “No, you’re the bitch.” She shoved Elena hard but the girl pushed her arms away and took Tobin by complete surprise.

Carly could see exactly what was about to happen but she was too late.

“Don’t!” Tobin heard Carly cry out, turning her head for just a second to see Carly sprinting towards them with the Coach as well. She looked back at Elena who already lowered her upper body, lifting Tobin up from her legs and smashed her against the ground.

Tobin was filled with adrenaline, despite feeling the wind knocked out of her. She managed to kick the girl off of her before she threw the first punch and climbed off the ground fast enough to ram her shoulder into Elena’s stomach, tackling her to the ground. She was about to jump on top of her before the coach yanked her back so hard, she lost her footing and fell back into Carly’s arms.

“That’s ENOUGH. You two are done for the day, go shower _right now!_ ”

“But coach, she—“ Tobin tried to defend herself before the coach turned to her yelling at her to get off the field. She was so angry and felt the tears start to form in her eyes. Then, she remembered what her older sister said to her one day after Tobin lost the championship her freshman year of high school.

_Cry in the inside like a champ._

Tobin shook her head and gave up trying to defend herself, avoiding a limp as pain shot through her right leg. The cut was very deep but she made it a point to walk fast enough to catch up to Elena who already had her tank off in the locker room.

Tobin rounded the corner and Elena turned around quickly. Tobin’s eyes couldn’t help but go towards her abs, seeing Elena exhale sharply, her abs flexing as the rage seeped back into her system.

But it wasn’t even that that caught her eye. It was the four scars across her stomach that shook Tobin but she decided to ignore it.

 _Jesus,_ Tobin thought and looked straight ahead past the girl, walking by her quickly. She took her shirt off as she walked by the girl and threw it at her locker. She saw Elena take in a deep breath and look away to not see Tobin’s body.

Neither of them spoke to each other, quickly showering and leaving before either one of them gathered up the courage to speak to one another.

\--

She sat in history class the next day, flipping her pencil across her fingers as she stared at the back of Elena’s head. She put her straightened, stark black hair up into a high ponytail. At this point, she was in Tobin’s head without meaning to be.

“I hate her.”

Carly ignored the teacher and turned around in her seat, leaning back against the cold metal bar connecting the desk.

“Come on,” Her voice got lower as she leaned closer to Tobin, “She’s from Colombia, she had to fight to get here.”

Tobin shook her head and turned to look at Carly, “No excuse.”

“You don’t get it, every girl over here is given--“

“CARLY!” The whole class turned to look at Tobin’s best friend as the teacher called her out, “You have something to share with the entire class?”

Carly twisted her ponytail in her hand and smirked, “Not unless they want to know about my hot makeout sesh with the quarterback in the library.”

All the girls “oooo’ed” but Elena who kept her eyes trained on the chalkboard. However, the teacher wasn’t having it.

“You’re going to see me after class.”

“It was a joke!” Carly put emphasis on the _joke,_ extending the O before turning back to look at Tobin. Once the teacher started back up with her lecture, that was when Carly pleaded her case.

“Girls like us… The one’s born in the dumps of Colombia. We only have soccer or college. That’s our way out of Colombia, remember that.”

Tobin never looked at it in that perspective, immediately feeling a rush of guilt hit her after she realized that Carly Esperanza was also from Colombia, and left it to pursue her dreams at the best school in New Jersey.

She was adopted by a loving family just like Elena was, knowing exactly how the foreign student felt. Tobin wasn’t given a chance to apologize to her best friend so she locked her eyes on Elena, not feeling any anger.

But, feeling apologetic and remorse. After the class, she chased down the one girl that was on her mind. She saw the high pony tail swing left and right as she took every step, Tobin jogging over and finally caught up with her.

_Set your pride aside Heath._

She grabbed her hand, feeling something electrifying with the way Elena turned so quickly into Tobin who froze. There was definitely a spark and Tobin felt it, fairly certain that the older girl felt it too.

Their chests were against each other’s and Tobin forgot to breath, holding her breath without meaning to, remembering to back off.

“Que?”

“I’m sorry.” She breathed out, refusing to look away.

And that was when she saw Elena’s first, real smile.

~

Present day: Gameday @UCLA 2016

Tobin saw the familiar swing of the ponytail, right and left, walking towards her team on the field with a brace on her left knee, _her kicking leg_. The color of her face disappeared along with her victory smile, blood rushing straight to the top of her head.

She never noticed her in the game. Normally, the first person she’d go to would be Christen but she started walking towards the tall Colombian. Christen was ready for another snide comment about the victory but it looked like Tobin had just seen a ghost, walking towards the other team with haste.

She caught up to the limping girl and without any hesitation, pulled the girl’s hand the way she did in the highschool hallway, feeling the same electrifying touch she had felt 7 years ago. Elena must have felt it too, refusing to turn around to show the shock that surfaced on her face.

Her body slowly turned around, Tobin anxious to see the girl she left behind so many years ago, completely forgetting Christen who was watching the whole interaction. She held her breath, “Elena.”

Tobin lost her breath the exact same way she did when she first met the tall Colombian beauty once she turned around. There was no smile, there was only tension and shock.

“Toby…” She looked down at the hand that was still holding hers, Tobin letting go faster than she could say hello.

“It’s been a long time.”

~

October 2009

It’s been three weeks since she apologized to Elena. The two of them started to get to know each other better after each practice when Tobin would walk home with Elena. She was surprised to find out that Elena was older by a year and a half when she started out high school.

They would walk together every single day and every single day that Elena would hug her at the end of the walk was a day Tobin relished. Every one of those hugs felt perfect, wishing they could last a little longer than just five seconds. Every time, watching Elena disappear into her house with a smile was something Tobin made sure to see before she left.

She woke up wanting to text Elena, thinking of ways to make her laugh every day. And Tobin only tried to justify this by telling herself, _she’s new and being friendly came naturally._ Except, she came to terms with the fact that she has never done this for Carly, who she met last year, and never thought to text her first thing in the morning.

Or to make her smile.

Or ways to make her laugh.

She couldn’t do it, not knowing what she was feeling and why she was having feelings for a girl. Nonetheless, it turns out that the two lived in the same neighborhood, a big surprise to Tobin. After walking back home in the cold weather, Tobin finally had the courage to ask her about the conditions back home and why she came here.

“I had to leave Medellin… There was nothing for me there. My mother bailed on me when I was young. My father, a cop.” Elena sat on the edge of Tobin’s bed as Tobin peeled off the layers of clothing.  “I was walking home from a soccer game when… I got jumped for not joining them. Who better than to pick on the daughter of a notorious cop?”

She stopped what she was doing and her heart sank, _gang violence._ She went over and sat next to Elena, looking at her trembling hands as she spoke of the story.

“Muerte… I felt it… Next thing I know, I’m in the hospital, telling me that I...” Her breathing became shallow and she couldn’t stop the tremor in her hands. Tobin didn’t care but to reach forward, grabbing the warm hand and squeezing it tightly, “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I’ll show you.” Elena got up and got infront of Tobin, slowly unbuttoning her black, cotton shirt, revealing a black bra and the swells of her breasts pushed up. Tobin cleared her throat at the sight infront of her, eyes slowly going following the release of every button to see the four scars she once saw in the locker room, feeling guilty for ever ignoring the scars in the first place.

She missed another, right below her ribs and all she felt wasn’t pity, but guilt.

Tobin pulled her closer by the loop of her jeans for the belt, hand reaching out to feel the very scars that were forever stained on Elena’s heart, not just her body. Elena didn’t know if what she felt at that very moment was something Tobin did too.

Both of them were unsure of what the other felt, not knowing if their next move was the smartest so they held back. Elena stared deep into the brown eyes that stared right back. The girl who was once Elena’s biggest competition, now a friend. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted more than that but she didn’t want to ruin the friendship they have.

The only friendship _she_ has.

She was a broken dream.

Tobin’s dream.

~

Present day:

“I can’t believe it’s you Elena,” Tobin’s eyebrows were raised the entire time, a surprised smile unable to disappear from her lips, “You look… Amazing.”

Elena narrowed her eyes before hysterically laughing and bringing Tobin in for a tight hug, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck. Tobin contemplated for a solid second if whether or not she should hug her back, confused by how happy she was to see her even though she left her for UNC. Her arms slowly snaked around her waist, hugging her tighter.

Christen’s deep breath was let out in a shaky manner, heart not knowing what to believe anymore. She wanted to turn away, but her mind focused on just the two players hugging for god knows how long.

“Four years.” Elena whispers in the hug, pulling away. Tobin’s head dropped down to the cleat she wore for the game, “I see you stopped wearing the lucky cleats.”

“Please, those were very lucky.”

“Your accent,” Tobin laughed out, “It’s gone.”

Elena swung her arms up, “Cali has been my home for four years Toby.” The old nickname made the memories flood back in so vividly. It made Tobin sad as she looked into the amber eyes she fell in love with, “I’m sorry.”

Elena looked genuine, “I understand why you did it.”

“You do?” She had to look away from Elena, from the pain she had let Elena feel.

“You forget my goal was your goal. Now, let’s go get drinks to celeeebrate!” Elena hooked her arm around Tobin’s and she didn’t hesitate at all to pull out her phone and send a quick text to Christen.

_Freaking Tobin: Going out with the teammates! Will catch you later?_

She read the text and looked back up to the two now walking away, “Teammates.”

Was this really happening?

~

January 2010

Elena had grown distant from Tobin after that one night, hoping to shake away the feelings but she couldn’t. It angered her knowing that she has always been in control of her own emotions and her willpower to resist pretty girls was insanely strong.

But Tobin, had a different hold on her.

She was the first girl Elena has ever told her story to.

“You do realize that she has been distant?”

Carly shrugged, “And?”

“SO WHY INVITE HER?” Tobin blurted out and covered her mouth very quickly, “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what’s up with her.”

Carly raised her eyebrows and nodded, doing nothing else or saying a single word.

“What?” Tobin frustratingly paced back and forth as Carly put a bunch of beers in a cooler and straightened up the big bottles of alcohol, “I don’t know how you’re so oblivious.”

Tobin got confused and stopped dead in her tracks, “What do you mean?”

“Are you serious? She looks at you like she’s undressing you with her eyes.” Tobin got so red, she had to look away from her best friend. “She is literally like so into you.”

Tobin couldn’t accept it nor could she deny it, “I don’t know.”

“Yeah, you don’t or you do?”

The first person knocked on the doors of Carly’s big home, “Party time.”

\--

She watched Elena Ramos walk in and she had to get alcohol into her system. She wore washed up skinny jeans with a pair of black combat boots, and finished it with a black hoodie and a black, Nike snapback.

That was when Tobin fell in love with how snapbacks look, especially that one. That was when she promised herself that she would never wear a beanie again.

Her long hair was down, pulled to the right side of her face accentuating her perfect, strong jaw. Their eyes met and Tobin held the stare for too long, getting annoyed at the mixed signals. She was the first to look away, anger rising up in the both of them. Carly sighed at the tension and ushered her inside, past Tobin. She shot Tobin a look of disappointment and Tobin rolled her eyes, drinking the rest of her cheap beer.

Two hours into the night, she was on her fourth bottle, unable to take her eyes off of the girl behind the fire of Carly’s huge backyard. That was when Carly dared Tobin to an infamous, drinking game.

“Come on, join us Toby.”

“I’m good here.” Her feet were dangling off the edge of the porch’s rail, seeing all the eyes on her, including Elena’s.

“Yeah, _Toby._ Join us.” She can sense the competitive edge coming from Elena’s slur of words. Tobin felt the heat rise and decided to join the group of boys and girls.

“Okay so you hold up ten, blah blah blah… Let’s get the party started.” Carly knew exactly what she was doing and Tobin knew exactly, what she was getting into.

~

Present Day

Elena went back to her apartment while Tobin waited in the car to change into normal clothes. Her style was still the same as years ago, wearing cut off shorts and a tank but this time, going with the trend by wearing a pair of shell toe Adidas. They made it to a local bar Elena was familiar with, about ten minutes away from the stadium in LA.

“WOW! I can’t believe this.”

“Yep,” Elena downed a shot of tequila and motioned for another, “All the scouts were looking at you… Not me, the girl who couldn’t take her starting position. So, I got accepted into UCLA. I walked on.”

Tobin grinned after she downed a shot right after Elena, “Some things never change, huh?”

The UNC soccer player regretted the words once she saw the pain spread over Elena’s face. She wanted to reach out but held back, the vulnerability of the Colombian girl made her fear a very, possible negative reaction.

“I could still kick your ass with this brace on, you know that right?”

“HAH, dream on bebé.” Both of them started laughing and downed another shot, Elena sucking a lime quickly before looking back at Tobin.

“Losing that Spanish tongue I’ve always loved.”

Tobin hid her face from the blush and smiled from embarrassment, “Barely.”

“Hanging out with those _gringas_ too much, loosen up.” Tobin looked at her old friend and clicked her tongue, “You don’t want to loosen me up.”

“Oh yeah?” Elena took it as a challenge and nothing else, biting her lower lip slowly, attracting the eyes of her old lover and enjoying the attention.

Tobin looked away almost instantly and downed one more shot and was about to object until she felt Elena’s hand grab hers. She yelled over the music as she dragged Tobin to the dance floor, “I love this song! Let’s dance.”

Tobin pointed at her cast, “With that thing on?”

Elena turned around and grabbed Tobin’s other hand, pulling her in closer.

“You know me well enough to know nothing can stop these hips from moving _mi amor_.”

~

January 2010

“Never have I ever made out in the school library.” Carly sighed and took the shot, feeling the sharp sting of her parent’s tequila.

“That was cheap Michael.” Four other people downed their drinks but Elena nor Tobin were a part of that mix.

“How could you with old Ms. Polasky. She’s literally a guard dog.” Everyone laughed at Tobin’s joke but Elena, who just stared at her. Tobin cleared her throat, making sure to look at everyone _but_ Elena at this point.

“Alright, someone’s about to lose!” One of the girls yelled out, looking at Carly’s last finger she was holding up.

“Never have I ever…” Carly’s dark eyes scanned all her friends after the seventh round, “Kissed a girl.”

A bunch of her friends groaned but Carly downed one shot, surprising Tobin who held up 6 fingers, “You’re supposed to do something you’ve never done. You know?”

“Does it look like I care.” A guy took a shot and said why the hell not, while Tobin’s eyes fell towards Elena who was staring at her shot. Two other girls knocked back a drink but Tobin didn’t care for that.

Elena took the drink and looked directly at Tobin, her eyes dark and all Tobin could see was the fire reflecting off her eyes. Her skin was crawling as she saw Elena take her own lower lip, releasing it slowly before knocking down the shot of Tequila.

She kept her eyes trained on Tobin’s, who was no longer holding her six fingers up because it finally registered. It all made complete sense. Tobin couldn’t do it anymore, leaving the bonfire and going into the house.

“Jesus Elena, what did you do?” Elena smacked the back of her friend’s head before angrily hopping up, chasing after the girl that had no idea but now, she does. She went in, seeing Tobin leaning over the breakfast bar, rubbing her temples.

Tobin heard the glass door slide shut from behind her, scaring her half to death. “Jesus Elena, what are you--” Elena said nothing to her frantic teammate but walked over, throwing her hat to the side and placed a long, desired kiss on Tobin’s lips, breaking away to see if there’s anything holding her back from taking this further.

“Fuck, I’m so mad at you.” Elena whispers, holding onto Tobin’s head as she said the words so quickly, unable to not let go.

She lost control of all her senses, too late for her to relapse back into her old behavior and just push away her feelings.  Temptation overwhelmed her body, holding onto it once again as she kissed the girl again with urgency, biting Tobin’s lip hard and sucking on it softly. Both of them were drunk but it didn’t mean the kiss wasn’t sensational.

It didn’t mean Tobin would ever forget.

It was Tobin’s first kiss ever with another girl and it struck her right then and there why the three boys she kissed or made out with never felt right. She was hiding in a blur of emotions, finally finding her way towards the light.

It never felt right because she was never, truly interested. Her lips didn’t feel right against the lips of another man. They were perfect against Elena’s, who took the kiss slower in surprise to her own heart beating faster and faster. She lifted Tobin up on the counter who wrapped her legs around Elena’s strong back, pulling herself closer into Elena who deepened the kiss.

Every stroke of Elena’s tongue was met with Tobin’s, neither of them fighting for something they so desperately wanted to do since that one night. Elena broke the kiss only to get a breather, pupils fully dilated and changed the angle of the kiss. This time, it was more powerful, moaning into Tobin’s mouth as her hand travelled under Tobin’s shirt, feeling the warm skin and needing the contact.

Tobin’s body naturally reacted by tightening her legs around Elena’s body, pushing into her front making their chests heave against each other. Her other hand’s nails grazed Tobin’s skin as it made its way down Tobin’s back slowly, slipping under Tobin’s leggings.

Tobin had to break away from the kiss because she felt that hand reach her bra, giving her left breast a strong squeeze.

 _Umph, that feels so good…_ Tobin’s head rolled back giving Elena the perfect opportunity to dive into her neck. She bit down hard and licked so slowly and methodically. Tobin’s hand shot up to Elena’s head, holding herself up with the other against the grey granite countertop while Elena leaned deeper over the counter into her.

Elena’s curious hands went back to her legs, one slowly making its way between Tobin’s legs. She was angry and drunk, but not drunk enough because she knew what she was doing. Tobin had to stop her, despite how undeniably wet she was from so little of a long awaited make out session. She stopped Elena’s fingers from going any further while trying to catch her breath, “Fuck… Elena, w-w-we can’t. Not here.”

Elena’s dark eyes pushed herself off of Tobin and grabbed her snapback, “My parents are away for the weekend.” She reached out for Tobin’s hands, her eyes suddenly becoming sincere.

“Come over?”

With no questions asked, Tobin grabbed her hand and let herself be lead.

\--

Tobin was so nervous. Every step up those marble stairs leading up to Elena’s room took a toll on her. _How do I do this. How do I say I’ve never been with anyone?_

_I’ve never had sex._

Elena opened the door to her room, Tobin frantically figuring out how to tell the most beautiful girl in the world that she has never been with alone another woman, let alone a man in this matter.

She pushed Tobin against the door, letting Tobin’s weight close the door itself, “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this.” She took off her sweatshirt, wearing nothing but a tanktop underneath. Tobin couldn’t reply because Elena wasted no time kissing her lips again and pressed into Tobin’s body that was now in flames.

Tobin wasn’t used to this, unable to hold back her moans with the way Elena’s tongue skillfully moved against hers. She didn’t notice the leg that made its way between hers and pushed up slowly as she sucked on Tobin’s lower lip.

“ElenAAA-Fucking…” Tobin let out a gasp from the shock her body just experienced, giving Elena every reason to grind her leg up again but harder. Tobin’s hips pushed down without any hesitation, her body doing it on her own, needing the friction.

“Elena, wait!” Elena hushed her and Tobin dodged her kiss soon after, weaving her way around Elena and rushed towards the other end of the room.

“I’ve… never done this before.” Tobin rubbed the back of her neck, panicking at the way Elena was quiet.

_Please say something._

“I understand if you don’t want to do this, I-I-I’ll just go.” She turned around and started walking towards Elena. She was leaning against the door with her leg propped up, Tobin stopping in front of her.

“I’m just going to go.” Elena didn’t budge, “Please?” Tobin was so embarrassed and fortunately, Elena moved over to Tobin’s surprise. Tobin reached for the door but Elena grabbed her hand, pushing her to the bed and setting her down.

“Te quiero.” She whispered out, looking directly at Tobin who now looked up at her. Tobin felt like her heart was about to give out on her, Elena sounding both seductive and powerful at the same time.

“Me too. But,” Her voice trembled once Elena rested her knee on the edge of her own bed, Tobin eyeing it and unsure of what to do.

“I don’t know… How to do this.”

“Then let me show you.” She whispers, throwing the other leg over Tobin’s, who’s breathing became shallow. Her nervous hands rested ontop of her thighs, refusing to budge as the two kissed slowly.

Tobin swallowed, hoping to take away all her hesitancy along with it, once Elena broke away from the kiss. She felt like an amateur, feeling Elena take her hands and a tight squeeze followed right after.

“Trust _me._ ”

~

Present Day:

Tobin drank the night away but not enough to not understand where she. What she was doing. Who she was with. Poison was in her veins but she didn’t even care because Tobin was having the most fun she has ever had in any night out.

Elena danced like a fool at first, hoping to lighten up her ex girlfriend. Tobin busted into a fit of laughter, “You’re really gonna make me look like this?”

She tested Elena who was flailing her arms around but stopped once she said that. Everyone was dancing normally but her and Tobin was just frozen in her spot. A small smirk formed on Elena’s lips, “Oh, you want me to make _you_ look good?”

Christen made it to the closest bar she could find because she wasn’t just curious of what the two were doing but if she was okay. She knew the streets of LA like her own, knowing exactly where everything is.

She passed the window of an open, Spanish bar that most college students go to on a Friday night. And there she was, Tobin with the strange girl, clearly showing a Latina side to her. She watched Tobin grin and nod as the girl slowly approached her, a new song started playing next.

“Show me what you got, Ramos.”

_So tell me how you feel_

_Knowin’ I see the world when I look in your eyes_

_Your kisses are Duracell, they keep me energized_

Elena pulled in by the neck, pressing their fronts together while staring right into her eyes. She swayed her hips to the beat of the song before turning around. Tobin was so into it as she moved along the song, her hands on her hips while laughing, truly enjoying the moment.

_Without you I feel uneven_

_Make everyday our love season_

_Baby girl you know you’re my rider_

_That should be enough reason_

She turned around and went down slowly, pushing up against Tobin, grinding into her as Tobin did the same, letting her hands be guided by the Colombian. Elena turned around, taking Tobin by surprise and everything went downhill from there.

She kissed Tobin while Christen watched outside of the bar who quickly turned away, feeling as though someone punched her straight in the stomach.

Not seeing what actually happens after.

“No,” Tobin pushed her off softly, realizing how big of a mistake it was to ever catch up with an old flame, “Elena, I have a girlfriend… that I love.”

"I'm so sorry, I didn't..." Tobin drowned out her voice once she saw a glimpse of Christen's bright blue UNC shirt behind the thick glass, disappearing almost immediately. And right then and there, Tobin felt the world start caving in.

_Cause I don’t need no more rivals._

 


	8. Post-Season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/O to Sar789. Y'all should check out her story, it's pretty damn cute.

Tobin sat in the darkness of her hotel room, processing every moment that lead up to her argument with Christen. There was barely any exchange of words between the two but still, Tobin felt the weight of the guilt slowly becoming unbearable.

She realized she made a mistake the moment she sent out that text, asking herself why did I lie? What if she didn’t lie, would there still be a similar outcome? Tobin doubted herself and her true intentions, initially thinking that _not_ telling Christen the truth would be better off since she never told her about her high school sweetheart. The way she ended things with Elena brought a fear in her, a fear that Christen would start doubting the trust she put in her.

Something that not many people do off the pitch.

She never ended things, she just left.

Without a single word.

_What if I was just honest?_

“Fuck!” Tobin needed to cry more but she couldn’t, knowing that her mistakes caused more pain to Christen. She had no room to feel sad that Christen may or may not have potentially broken up with her. The look in her eyes, the tears she couldn’t stop from flowing down.

The image that she couldn’t push away killed her a thousand times over and over.

The room was silent up until she heard Allie’s laugh behind the door. She tried atleast three times with sliding the card to unlock the door, cursing every time until she finally opened the door.

“Finally... so Syracuse played Stanford tonight, Bati is coming over. Think you can sleep over at--” She opened the lights to the hotel, confused with Tobin sitting in the dark. She looked closer at her friend, seeing her face puffy and hair a tussled mess made her completely switch directions.

“Nevermind that,” She pulled out her phone and started texting while walking, “He is not coming over.”

She walked over to Tobin’s twin bed, kneeling in front of her friend. She has never seen her like this before because Tobin never wore her heart on her sleeve. She never showed her emotions up until this very point, scaring Allie to no end.

“What happened Tobin?” She whispered the question as she reached out to rub Tobin’s back, hearing a small sniffle coming from the other end.

“I fucked it all up.” Her voice started breaking but she pressed forward quickly, “I didn’t… I didn’t mean for all of this t-t-to happen, you know? It just happened so fast.”

“Slow down Tobs?” Allie tried to make Tobin look at her but she pushed her away and off the bed, walking towards the other side of the room.

“We were dancing…”

“Who was dancing? You and Christen?” Hearing her name felt like another stab, wanting to avoid answering this question but she had to be honest with herself. Tobin closed her eyes and stopped moving, “Me and Elena.”

She never spoke about Elena to anyone, including Allie. When she heard the name, Allie’s expression went from worried to bemused and then angry.

“Who the fuck is Elena?”

Allie repeated the question. This time, her tone wasn’t surprised but pushy, almost close to threatening.

_Just do it._

“An ex.” She turned around to see the look on her best friend’s face and Allie was just standing there, frozen in place with her arms out, “What the fuck?”

“I know…”

“How come this is the first-time hearing about her?”

“Noone knows about her.”

Allie itched right above her left eyebrow in frustration, “Not even Christen?”

“No.” Tobin answered in the shortest manner possible.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Allie yelled at her, completely shocking Tobin from the outburst, “Tell me everything that happened.”

\--

Allie just stared at her quietly while Tobin described every minute of the last three hours. They were facing each other on their twin beds. Tobin sat there in silence, refusing to look at her friend who was staring deep into her own soul after she finished telling her about the kiss.

“I don’t know how you could be so stupid.”

“You need to believe me when I tell you that the dancing was something we always did together, that—“

“It’s not _me_ who needs to believe you!” Allie exploded again, the once calm and level-headed blonde was now the brutally honest best friend. Her hands were everywhere, getting up to pace back and forth between the twin beds.

“It’s that girl who risked her own job to be with you.”

“I know—“ Allie spoke over Tobin’s voice, “That’s your problem Tobin, you think you know but you don’t. You fuck up everything that’s good for you. You treat women like they’re pieces of meat, finally meeting the perfect one and you go and kiss some other bitch.”

Tobin’s head shot up in anger, furious with her own friend criticizing her for actions this way. She got up and pushed Allie from the back, “I didn’t fucking kiss her!”

Allie turned around pushed her back, jabbing her finger into Tobin’s chest twice, “You might as well have been the one to kiss her because you fucking lied Tobin and you got caught. You lied and she saw a kiss. That’s what you do best—“

“YOU’RE ONE TO TALK!” Tobin screamed over her best friend who was surprised at the way Tobin exploded, “You fuck every guy out there and have a little boy toy at every school we’ve ever played at. Now that you found your knight and shining armor, you think you’re the angel here?”

Allie flinched once, mouth parting maybe an inch apart but she closed her mouth, bringing her hands up in defeat. She backed off slowly, “Pushing those who care about you most away is not the answer. Deflecting, isn’t the answer.” She turned around and started walking towards the door but turned back around, not looking at Tobin but towards the floor. Her voice lowered, almost breaking.

“Maybe I was like that. Maybe you’re right. But I changed when I met Bati, I never looked at another man, ever. Nor would I ever dance with one.”

Her best friend was right in many ways and Tobin felt the guilt rise up and over the anger. The soccer players just stood there, Allie looking at her best friend who kept her eyes glued on the floor.

“Allie…I’m sorry. I can’t lose you too.” Tobin’s voice was raspy from the yelling, “Please?”

Allie shook her head, “No matter what you say, I will always love you.” She walked over and gave Tobin a strong hug, letting Tobin cry softly into her shoulder.

“You haven’t lost her yet.”

\--

Christen didn’t stay at the hotel the day after the confrontation. She stayed with Alex and spent the majority of the day making sure her best friend’s wedding is the wedding she had always dreamed of having. She was throwing it in Los Angeles because her entire family lived about an hour away from the major city.

She figured that it would be best if her closest friends fly in from where they live and hopefully, it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. Christen stood in front of a bunch of mirrors while she got fitted into her bridesmaids dress while Alex texted away.

“Can’t you just make my dress the same as the other bridesmaids?” Christen whined, feeling a needle prick into her and hearing a quick apology from the quiet Asian handling her dress. Alex looked up and rolled her eyes, looking back down and continued to text Sydney about the wedding plans.

 “You’re my maid of honor, you need to stand out!”  
“You know how much I hate the extra attention,” Christen clicked her tongue and then continued her rant while looking at Alex through the mirror, “Might just look better than you at your own wedding.”

Alex scoffed and shook her head, “You steal the show regardless with that big ass of yours. Just make sure to loosen up the area on her butt please Ms. Wong?”

The Asian seamstress pursed her lips and tried to hide her accent while talking to the bride to be but it was too thick, “Ms.Morgan beeee reaaalistic,” Alex frowned and it made Christen laugh for the first time since the confrontation, “See? Besides, I have two asses. There’s no hiding this thing.”

“Valid point. Wong, do your magic. Ugh, Sydney’s baby is so cute. I hope she brings him…” Alex had no idea what Tobin did, which saddened Christen to no end. She didn’t want Alex to go bat shit crazy a day before her wedding.

Because she knows that is what would happen if she ever told her about the kiss.

The lie.  
The dancing.

_Everything._

“Chriiiiisten…”

She thought of the moment again, seeing Tobin’s hands get guided down the sides of the Latina’s body. Seeing the Latina turn around and place a kiss on the lips that Christen claimed to be hers and hers only. It made her stomach turn, the brim of her eyes starting to fill with tears and her jaw quivered in its place.

She sniffled once before hearing Alex call out on her name loudly for the third time, “Christen, what the hell?” Christen wiped her eyes quickly and turned around to look at Alex who already got up to see what’s going on with her best friend. She attempted to give her best friend the best forced smile she could give.

“I’m fine. I’m just…” Christen thought about her answer and improvised, initially wanting to talk to someone about it but she couldn’t do that to Alex.

She just couldn’t do that to her.

“Happy for you. I know how long you have been waiting for Serv to pop the question and the big wedding…” She turned back around, ushering Alex to unzip her. Alex’s naturally husky voice took over the room that has been silent for a solid minute after she lied, “It’s hard to believe that this is actually happening. But, is that really it Chris? Did something happen between--“

“Nothing happened,” She quickly cut her off and waved her off at the same time, “I just need you to text that football player for me!” Something seemed off, Christen rushing to cut her off like that sent off alarms in Alex’s head.

“Okay, but why not Tobin? Don’t hide anything from—“

“No,” Christen lied quickly while she pulled up her lulu leggings and threw on her loose grey shirt, “I-It’d just be too risky if the both of us left the hotel with dresses on. You know?”

The Seattle reign player hummed and decided to agree with Christen, sending a huge wave of relief through Christen’s body. The two talked about the wedding venue and the reception in the carride back home, Christen being short with every question Alex asked about Tobin.

“So how _is_ the hot soccer player doing?”

“Great.”

Two minutes later, “So on a scale of one to Servando, how good is she in bed?”

“Servando?” Christen’s tone was questioning on purpose, “He shouldn’t be at the top.” Alex slammed her door shut, “On the contrary, he is amazing in bed. God, you have something against South Americans, don’t you?”

A minute later while waiting for one of Christen’s family members to open the door, “So did she go downtown on the first night?”

The questions ate away at Christen’s heart as she was reminded of her first night with Tobin. It angered her, feeling Tobin’s kiss on her skin again also reminded her of Tobin’s lips on that Spanish woman.

“Did Servando go downtown on the first night?” It was the first reply that popped up in her mind, the best deflection she could think of. Christen crossed her arms and looked over at Alex who was clueless and grinning, “As a matter of fact he--MS.PRESS!” The door flung open a second too late, wishing Christen didn’t hear what she was about to say, knowing that how chipper Alex got means he actually did.

“Hi mom.”

She looked at her mom with sad eyes before going into a warm embrace, knowing that her resilience was about to fade away. Her mom squeezed once, reassuring her as Christen nuzzled her face in her mother’s shoulder, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too baby, me too.”

Her sisters swarmed Christen once she stepped into the house, completely taken aback at Christen’s warm surprise who in return didn’t think the two would be home. But, it turned out that Channing was back home from Villanova and Tyler was visiting at the same time.

Alex had to leave an hour later to go pick up Sydney and her family from the airport, leaving Christen alone with her mom and siblings. They ate dinner without their dad who was still at work, asking Christen all the types of questions a tourist would typically ask.

_So, how’s the weather like?_

_Is there really such a thing called ‘southern hospitality’?_

_Are the boys cute?_

Christen answered all the questions with ease but the very last one. She was stuck at a crossroads, whether to answer truthfully or lie to her family too. They all stared out of curiosity, waiting for Tyler’s question to be answered.

She just didn’t know where she was standing with Tobin. _Just say it_ , she thought, as she messed with the little pasta left on her plate.

“I actually met someone there.” She never looked up to see the looks on her family’s face but they knew her all too well to know what this means. Her voice was low and wasn’t filled with that typical excitement a person would feel as she told her family about the significant other for the first time.

“Yeah?” Channing who was sitting next to her sister reached for her Christen’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. Christen breathed in deeply and exhaled in a shaky manner, “Yep.”

“Something happened before you left?” Her mom said this without knowing the details but Christen played along with it, looking up to see her family around the table.

“Yeah. It all happened so quickly, I just left before she could say…” Her older sister’s back went straight and her mom’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at the specific use of pronoun.

“Did you just say _she_? Daaaamn Chris!”

“She?” Christen knew her mother always wanted to have grandkids, making the news a lot more shocking for her. After many arguments and unsuccessful attempts at trying to convince Tyler to change her mind on not having kids, her mother gave up with Tyler. Christen rubbed the back of her neck as she felt the nerves start kicking in knowing how the direction of this conversation will go, “Mom…”

Her mother waved her off and stood up from the dinner table, “So Tyler doesn’t want to have kids and you’re with a _girl_?”

Channing listened silently to the argument turn up a notch so she kept her eyes glued to her phone underneath the table. Tyler ran her hands through her hair and sighed, “Here we go about the kids.”

“Mom, there’s still Channing.” Or is there still _hope_ , Christen thought once she said her younger sister’s name.

“Yeah, wait 5 years to hold my grandson.”  
“Who said I want to have kids?”

“CHANNING!” Both her sisters screamed out, turning to look at her once Channing said that under her breath. It was definitely loud enough for her mother to hear. Channing mouthed _what_ to her sisters who just glared at her. Christen shifted her focus to her mom, watching her nostrils flare and the sight of her this hurt urged her to speak up once more, “There’s a chance that this thing… Whatever it is, might not work out.”  
“Once you go black, you never go back.” Christen knitted her eyebrows together and frowned at her younger sibling, “That, in no way, relates to me.”  
“It kinda does, just substitute black with—“ Christen’s head turned so fast to glare at Tyler who immediately stopped talking and started playing with her now cold food. Her mom didn’t say anything before she walked off, closing the door to her bedroom softly.

There they were, sitting nervously at the dinner table. Neither sister dared to speak up knowing that when Christen is quiet, that’s when they should be worried. Except, Christen didn’t speak up. All she did was get up, put her dish in the sink, and go upstairs to her old room. She scanned the room that was practically a trophy room, medals made up one wall while the other held all the trophies while the wall directly infront of her bed had pictures with her teammates.

She didn’t know when life started getting so complicated, before she made the move to quit the one thing that has always felt right in her life or after. She worked so hard in Stanford, breaking all the offensive records any woman has ever held while playing their four years at Stanford yet she never got the call to play for the US on a national level.

Only when she moved across the globe to play for Sweden was when Coach Pia decided to check her out. And then she moved back, played club Soccer to only tear every ligament in her kicking leg.

Or after she met Tobin, who made her realize that she had it all wrong. Quitting was never the solution to any of her pain she suffered after the injury. But breaks her heart the same way her past boyfriends did. She saw her old cleats in the corner, remembering something her mother told her after a huge loss junior season of high school.

~

“Mom, stop. Seriously, I don’t have to hear this.” She groans out, taking off her cleats and sitting at the edge of her bed. Her mom was persistent, “Listen. Sometimes in life, you shouldn’t look at your loss as just a tally, learn from it.”

Christen just stared ahead, sulking around because it was a championship, not just any game. There were too many college scouts watching the game for her to lose and choke.

“You missed so many shots today,” Christen’s head whipped around ready to argue her case but her mom didn’t care, “Every single day, Pele would kick the ball a hundred times on each foot, muscle memory. Christen, you need to learn from your mistakes and fix your attitude. Once you do that, you’ll become a star.”

~

She found herself outside, looking at the old goal she would practice shooting on years ago. The metal crossbars of her dad’s birthday gift were rusted over and the net was stained with yellow and time. Her old game ball was between her feet and she was staring at it, wishing Tobin was there with her to practice for the first time in years.

“God, you got me so fucked up…” She whispered to herself, rolling the ball infront of her and took her first shot at goal. She knew her form was off the moment the ball connected with her foot, watching it go far right and hitting the fence behind the goal.

Christen’s heart sank at the sound of the fence rattling instead of the small yet distinguishable sound of the ball rolling against the net in the quiet night, something she hasn’t heard in too long. She walked over to the bag of soccer balls and took out five practice balls. Repeating the same motion five times, all off the mark but one.

_What would Tobin say._

“Try harder.” Christen muttered the words soon after she had the thought, jogging over to every ball, kicking it back out. She repeated it over and over and over, refusing to let the fact that she is missing sixty percent of her shots 20 yards out with her dominant foot.

“Damn, you suck.” She would picture Tobin joking with her, the both of them practicing together like they had originally planned. She was now kicking the ball with her weak foot but with anger. Repeating the same motion over and over, tears starting to stream down her face.

“Don’t give up. Just don’t give up.” Christen repeated the mantra over and over, talking herself into the words, jogging over and rolling the ball ahead to only kick it again.

“Why’d you kiss her!”

The ball went wide left, Christen’s legs just collapsed beneath her. She kicked the balls for hours, not noticing her younger sibling from the deck. Christen wiped away the tears and picked herself back up, turning around only to get startled by Channing.

“Jesus Christ! Don’t do that…”

“I heard screaming, I got worried.”

_Great, now she knows._

“I uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She had an oversized Villanova sweatshirt on and shorts. Christen didn’t notice that it reached past midnight, “Go back to sleep Chan.”  
Channing hesitated a little but stepped in front of her older sister, “You’ve been crying.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. She was just supposed to train with me, that’s all.” Christen tried to walk past her but Channing stepped in front of her again, “Bottling it up won’t help.”

Christen smiled softly, “When did you get so smart?” She let out a small chuckle and patted her shoulder, hoping she would move out of the way of the door.

“Did she cheat?”

“I don’t…” Christen relived the pain she felt in that very moment when she saw the two dancing and then kiss, making her want to cry again. “Yes. She lied to me about who she was with, went dancing with some girl and kissed her. It was that simple.” She hurried her own sentence, pursing her lips and looked up at the sky praying she wouldn’t cry in front of her younger sister who idolized her both on and off the pitch.

“Well, what happened after that?”

_What?_

“Wha—I don’t know. I looked away. She chased me down and—“

“So, she chased you down after she kissed a girl.” Christen adjusted her weight to her left leg and crossed her arms, “Yes, and she tried to talk to me but I couldn’t even look at her.”

“So you never gave her a chance to explain to you who she was or what happened after?” Channing said it right after Christen finished the last word, feeling the heat of the anger she’s been keeping inside making its way out.

“No! I was hurt Chan.”

“But she _chased_ you down.”  
“She lied!”

“She clearly cared enough and what if she didn’t kiss her back?”

“I SAW IT HAPPEN Channing, she definitely…” She yelled out at her younger sibling but stopped herself soon after it hit her that she never saw what happened after. Right then and there, she admitted to herself that she never saw Tobin kiss her back.

“She _lied._ How could I ever trust her again?”

Channing was only a sophomore in college but had the mind of a much older individual. She was always one to always say what’s on her mind and the most rational of the three in the family.

“With time. Get closure…” Christen’s tears reappear made Channing more gentle with her words, “Give her a chance to fix what she had broken.”

Christen shook her head slowly and gave her sister a long kiss on her forehead before bringing her in for a strong hug. Through the straightened hairs of her sister, she spoke the words that came from her heart.

“I don’t know if I can right now.”

\--

The wedding went by relatively fast. Watching her best friend get married to the love of her life had her crying tears of joy. Never has Christen ever cried this much like she did in the past three days and it was hard to admit. Alex frowned at her once while walking down the long aisle screaming, _get it together_ and _don’t cry at my wedding!_

Christen tried to resist but she couldn’t, especially after the two exchanged vows. Jimmy was a gentlemen throughout the entire ceremony and reception as expected. After Alex and Servando left, the two went to the closest coffee shop near her hotel. They talked about a lot of things, primarily being their jobs and Christen’s soccer career. She was more comfortable in discussing the injury to him than she was five months ago to anyone.

He was very understanding, knowing a lot of people who’s had tears and quit. To her surprise, he encouraged her to not quit and pursue Soccer again. He talked about his childhood and how he was physically abused but overcame the odds, playing only six months of college ball before entering the draft. He managed to connect that to Christen’s story and it inspired her, really.

But, Christen slowly came to realization that there was absolutely zero fire in him. He was everything Christen wanted in a guy. Respectful, humble, and has his head screwed on straight.

The perfect candidate to settle down with.

He just, wasn’t who she wanted.

Six months ago, he would have been.

“You looked beautiful today.” He extended out his arm for Christen to hook her arm around his as they walked in the lobby of her hotel. Alex put her in a strapless, charcoal grey pleated bodice and skirt, finishing off with a matching sash at the waist. Although it was flowy from the waist down, Christen still managed to show off her curves through the dress.

“Thank you, I can’t wait until I get out of it.” Jimmy chuckled and loosened up his skinny tie as they walked down the same hall that echoed the words she said to Tobin two nights ago. He just grinned at her once they reached the door. Christen unhooked her arm around his but somehow, his hand found Christen’s. His thumb brushed the top of Christen’s hand which had no effect on her, not the way Tobin’s would when she would do the same motion.

“Well, this is my place…”

The walls were thin. Thin enough for Tobin to hear the heels clicking against the hotel floors but not the second pair of dress shoes. She thought, _this was my chance,_ opening the door slowly only to hear a masculine voice _._

“I’d like to take you out to dinner sometime, Christen.” Tobin took a large gulp pleading for Christen to just say no. _Please, just say no._ Christen thought about it and thought about North Carolina. It was her home away from home but wasn’t enough.

She breathed in deeply and gave the man the hope he had wished for all along, “Jimmy Graham asking me out on a date?”

He knew that she lived in North Carolina but took the chance anyways, having a gut feeling that she will find her way back to California which was good enough for him. He just nodded and gave her another one of his smiles before he let go of her hand, “I just don’t want you to be the one that got away?”

“I’ll get back to you on this.” The two exchanged numbers and parted ways.

In the corner of her eye, she saw the door of Tobin’s move just a little as she watched him leave. Tobin’s heart felt like it had just been crushed, finally knowing exactly what Christen had felt when she saw Elena kiss her.

It wasn’t the same situation but it still hurt her, believing that Christen already found someone new when she couldn’t even bare to look at someone else. Christen started staring at the door with a heavy heart and not Jimmy who now disappeared into the elevator.

Christen walked over to Tobin’s door and stood infront of it and Tobin shot up. She heard Christen’s heels get louder and louder, meaning it’s getting _closer_. They stopped, Tobin’s heart suddenly felt a glimmer of hope, _maybe Allie was right._

Christen just stared at the door, remembering all the past events that led up to this moment yet again. She brought her hand up to knock but it didn’t knock. Her fist didn’t connect with the door. It just hung high, frozen in place. Her mind willed her to back away, not knock even though Tobin was ready to fling open the door, confess to everything and apologize a thousand times.

But she heard the heels click again, her heart dropping at the sound of it growing distant. She heard the keycard slide once and the door close seconds later, feeling as though it closed on her heart.

At the same time, feeling like her chances of getting back with the girl who changed who she was slimmed down to almost none.

\--

A month later

NCAA tournament: Round Three

“Tarheels are down 0-1 with just under ten minutes to go!” The third round of the tournament was held at their stadium and Tobin was missing every single shot. They got lucky with the first two rounds since Allie was the one who scored the goals off of corner kicks and not Tobin.

This game however, was supposed to be the game where Tobin comes in clutch. She looked for Christen in the sidelines after the half was over but she couldn’t spot her.

Sadly, it threw her off her game feeling like there was no purpose anymore. She didn’t want to win the game, she wanted to win back Christen’s heart.

She just didn’t know how.

She didn’t know that Christen was watching at home on ESPN and it broke Christen’s heart seeing Tobin’s face fall every time she kicked the ball and missed. 

Every single fast break Allie and Tobin got was squashed by Tobin’s inaccurate shots at goal. All four shots at goal did not hit the mark in any way, either being off target or kicked right into the hands of the goalkeeper.

She chased down every tiger’s defender who kept the ball away from her, taking time off the clock as they passed back and forth. Allie would be able to catch a midfield off guard but she would only cross it over to the other side of the field towards Tobin’s direction.

“Don’t do it Tobin…” Christen knew that Tobin would think blindly and not methodically, hoping to intercept the ball. She sprinted out of her position but it was too late, the tiger’s attacker was able to get to it first and evade Tobin’s surprised tackle.

Her action left the right side completely open since the coach switched to an offensive play. Their best player who marched forward was against a freshman wingback, who in no way stood a chance. With careful passing between their attackers, the Tiger’s player who easily avoided Tobin’s cleat managed to sneak into the box to take a clear shot at goal, sending the ball into the goalkeeper’s lower right corner thirty yards out.

Tobin gave up mid sprint, hiding her face in her jersey and cursing herself under her breath for the lousy mistake. She knew that ball went in without looking, hearing the commentators stunned voice.

“0-2 Clemson’s senior captain capped her fourth goal of the tournament! With three minutes left…” Tobin drowned out the loud speakers that rang through her ears, feeling small pats of reassurance from her fellow midfielders.

Two minutes later, Tobin got the ball but couldn’t make a play happen. Christen watched the game feeling every, immense emotion that Tobin felt. She too knew the feeling of losing in the tournament her senior season, unable to bring back home the trophy her coach fully deserved.

The game ended and the camera zoomed in on the captain of the Tigers team, later finding its way onto Tobin’s face. She could tell that Tobin held back her tears, biting her lower lip as she stared off into distance recounting every error she made in the game.

She knew that once Tobin got the _new_ news, it would devastate her.

Christen couldn’t take it anymore, shutting off her flat screen TV and finding her way towards the cabinet full of alcohol.

\--

Two weeks passed by with neither one of them talking to each other. Her mandatory appointment with Christen every week were either cancelled by Christen or she let another advisor take on the appointment.

Christen and Jimmy facetimed many nights, getting to know him better and better as the month rolled by. She felt something towards Jimmy but it wasn’t a significant, not like her love for Tobin. They reached past the stage of friendship but the long distance was keeping them stagnant, in place.

Tobin thought that it would be best if she let Christen bring up the topic because that’s when she would be ready to talk about it. Whereas Christen, believed that it should be Tobin who needs to address the issue.

Tobin rounded the corner towards her coach’s office and saw Christen in there through the long window, hearing the last bit of the conversation.

“…It was truly an honor Coach.” She handed him a piece of paper and Coach D got up to shake her hand.

“My players were lucky to have you for a semester. Sad to see you go so soon.”

Christen shook his hand and turned around and walked out the open door. She rounded the corner, surprised to see Tobin leaning against the wall with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her sweats. It was late November so Tobin wearing her snapback and a UNC sweatshirt with sweatpants.

The two stood there in silence in front of the coach’s closed door, staring at each other.

“So you’re quitting?”

Christen ran her hand through her thick curls and itched the top of her head, “Yeah. I think it’s time I focus on soccer.” It was a bold faced lie that Tobin saw right through but she just nodded along, “So how’s Jimmy?”

Christen scoffed, walking right by Tobin, feeling as though she didn’t have to even answer the question. Tobin turned around and walked behind Christen who quickly walked down the stairs and pushed open the front doors, feeling the cold breeze hit her face and pushed past it.

“How do you even know about him?” She asked the question honestly until she remembered the night of the hotel room, a month ago.

Tobin followed her and her voice got louder, “Not hard to google ‘Jimmy Graham’ Chris.” Christen reached her truck and unlocked the door, opening it and got inside. Tobin went around the other end to get into the truck as well.

“Tobin…” Christen shifted in her drivers seat to face Tobin who looked straight ahead, “What are you doing?”

Tobin licked her lips nervously, feeling Christen’s eyes on her so she turned to meet the bright blue grey eyes. “Let’s talk.” She says with a soft, desperate look on her face. Christen felt her face get red from the rage and she roared the engine to life, “You wait this long to _talk_.”

“No, I was ready to _talk._ ” Tobin mimicked the way Christen said it and argued back, “Jimmy was with you and he asked you out. You didn’t say no, Chris.”

Christen rolled her eyes and drove out the parking lot looking straight ahead at the road, “That was supposed to be you.”

Tobin’s heart sank at the words, “I know.” This time, Christen looked at her not doubting the veracity of her words, “Not Jimmy. You were supposed to be my side.”

“I know.” She repeated. Christen looked at Tobin while driving raising her voice a little higher, “Then why’d you do it?”  
Tobin looked confused, “Do what?”  
“Damnit Tobin, don’t act dumb! You kissed her… And you _lied._ ” Tobin felt the emphasis of the last word ring through her head, “I did NOT kiss her back. I was just as surprised as you were. Just give me a chance to explain myself.”

After a long drive that lead them to sitting in front of Tobin’s apartment complex, Tobin explained in vivid detail who Elena was and why she lied.

“The way I left things off with Elena… I didn’t want to lose that trust that you put in me. Because knowing you, you would question what would happen to us if you know, I get drafted.”

Christen listened to her plead her case. In her heart of hearts, she knew Tobin was being earnest with her and not deceitful.

Two minutes later…

“So the dancing and the kiss didn’t mean anything to you?”

“Not at all.”  
A minute later, “Is she going to be a problem?”

Tobin scrunched her nose and looked at her, “Are you serious?” Christen raised her eyebrows, sending that, _bitch are you really testing me right now,_ message to the soccer player sitting next to her.

“No, ofcourse not.” Her stare made Tobin speak back up again seconds later. Christen couldn’t think of any other question to ask her. The awkward silence killed Tobin because she didn’t know where the two stood.

“So what does this mean? For us?” She whispers looking at her in distress.

_Please be right Allie._

Christen didn’t answer the question right away. All she did was fiddle with her fingers and sit there in silence.

“Tobin…”

“Wait,” She put one finger up, interrupting Christen, “Before you answer...I just need you to know one thing…” She hesitated for a moment, “I won’t give up. Even if you’re with that bald football player, I won’t give up on us.”

 _Stop being so corny Tobin!_ Tobin started mentally screaming at herself in the inside and was also wanting to scream at Christen to just _pick her_.

Christen felt that familiar warmth spread through her chest, a feeling that she always missed. A month with Jimmy showed her how much she truly missed Tobin. He made her feel confident but Tobin....

Tobin made her feel special despite the pain she put her through. She’s just a spec in the universe but in Tobin’s eyes, she is the world itself.

“I’ll wait. I will.”

She was willing to wait because Christen is the one that gave her purpose.

She was the one that proved to her that there’s more to life than soccer.

That, one night stands and endless partying wasn’t the way to live.

Maybe it was fate for the both to meet each other and somehow, their paths collided into one…

For Christen, Tobin was the catalyst in her life. But, she already decided a month ago what she was going to do.

And she was going to do it.

“I’m moving back to California to train with Alex.”

Tobin processed every single word so slowly that it almost seemed like she was speaking a foreign language. 

“I can wait.”


	9. Operation Preath Pt 1

Ever since Tobin Heath was a little girl, she would always work hard to get what she wants. Whether it be on the soccer field trying to be like Ronaldinho or off the field where she strategizes any form of apology or speech, she _always_ gets the outcome she wants.

She would watch the Brazillian star repeatedly on YouTube even though she was supposed to be doing her math homework. Even throughout highschool ,she would try and mimic his form on free kicks and be one with the ball just like he was. Every day, she practiced until she kicked that ball from just inside the corner of the outer box into the opposite corner of the goal just like Ronaldinho would.

The way he handled the ball with grace was the way Tobin wanted to be.

One with the ball.

Except, she was determined to be better.

In the end, she perfected that shot.

I mean, she nutmegs just as good as he does, if not better.

Strategy has always been easy with Tobin. When she would make a mistake and ever hurt her sister’s feelings, she would try her best to make the apology as meaningful as she could. It would always come down to driving an hour and a half to get the cheesecake Perry loves as another form of apology. And if it was Katie, it was her expensive taste. She would strategize and analyze the possible outcomes but always, she will try to rekindle the relationship they once had.

To, make it as normal as it used to be.

In the end, their friendship went back to normal.

And her relationship with her younger brother was flawless. They never argued for her to try and make the most out of her apologies. He was her confidant, knowing Tobin’s deepest secrets and treasuring them.

When it came to Christen, she knew she had to make the grandest gesture of them all. Even if Jimmy was there, she was still determined to fix things between the two but not get in between her and Jimmy.

The soccer player knew she wanted to keep this as clean as she would in a game, not wanting to force Christen in a position to where she would have to pick sooner than she’d like. Or if she even wanted to pick?

Something, a gut feeling, made her believe that she was trying to give Tobin a chance by ever letting her explain herself after a month of silence. It was that look in her eyes, a pleading look with despair. The way she listened closely to every detail, trying to understand where she is coming from.

She wanted Christen to make the decision on her own after she spends the last days in North Carolina.

Tobin’s instincts and old habits caught up to her fast as it was nearing time for Christen to leave and she knew she had to do something quick. She didn’t like the gravel in their voices, the awkward tension even after let her deepest secrets out that day in the car.

All  Tobin wished for at this point is for things to go back to normal.

Fix things.

Allie and Tobin were kicking the ball around at night, the lights of the practice field shining down on both girls. It was cold outside but bearable, both of them wearing UNC issued Nike half-zip pullovers and sweats.

 “We need to come up with a Gameplan!” Allie started jumping up and down like a child on the field. The two of them had the field to their selves, training since they both got invited to a training camp held in Orlando.

Tobin rolled one ball out, about 20 yards away from the goal, and sent the ball towards the lower left corner, the same shot the tiger’s player took at the goal and pretty much the same shot she would practice over and over in highschool. _Hmph, my shot’s better._ She’s still not over the loss but Allie was, “Harry, what do you think about just a home cooked meal?”

“Too soon for a home cooked meal Harry.”

“Picnic?”

Tobin gasped and gave Allie the best smile she could possibly muster, “Seriously, that’s the best idea EVER!”

Allie flicked her ponytail behind her shoulder and jogged towards the box to retrieve the ball. “REALLY?” She called out behind her, “Because I was thinking cheese and wineee anddd watch the sunset together andddd—“

“Remind me what year we’re in and… how unoriginal that is?”

Allie rolled her eyes and kicked the ball back to Tobin, “Romantic, not unoriginal.”

Tobin flicked it up and started juggling. She took in the idea, focusing on what to do with the remaining time Christen has in the south. They weren’t officially together like they were before California but recalling their last conversation two days ago… Christen didn’t object the idea of Tobin fighting for her in any way.

Which… means, Jimmy and her weren’t super serious.

_I still have a chance._

All these signs just revved Tobin’s engine, feeling like the stars and the moon were telling her that fighting for Christen.

Her ticket out to California is December eighteenth. And today, marks the second day of December.

“I can’t believe we’re graduating in like, less than two weeks.” Tobin passed the ball to Allie who trapped it and began juggling.

“Don’t act like you haven’t been counting.” The response came out naturally from Tobin’s end. She was staring at the ball but physically she wasn’t there, trying to think of anything to do that is _not_ what Allie said.

“Okay fine,” Allie flicked it over her head and kicked the ball after it bounced once into the goal. She fist pumped into the air, reenacting one of Tobin’s chill celebrations in the most nonchalant manner.

“ELEVEN DAYS BAAABY!” Allie threw her arm around Tobin and pulled her in closer, ruffling Tobin’s head with the other hand. Tobin tried to fight her away but her best friend was persistent and just, too happy.

“We’re about to be so rich and tour the whole world. Hashtag lit?”

“I don’t mean to burst that big ass bubble of yours but we’re super underpaid and I doubt that…” Her voice drifted away when it hit her. Touring the world wasn’t a bad idea at all, but what if it was…localized?

That was when Tobin switched directions, switching from the biggest pessimist in the world to a woman full of optimism.

“I know what to do.” She separated herself from Allie to take a good look at her, “I figured out what to do with Chris.”

Allie’s eyes narrowed, a scheming smile appeared while she intertwined her fingers together and pressed her hands against her chest.

“Operation Preath is underway.”

“Pre-What?” Tobin scrunched up her nose at first but it kind of had a nice ring to it.

Bump that, Tobin actually liked the sound of it.

“Good lord,” Tobin faked her dismay and shook her head while walking off the bright field into the darkness, “I can’t believe you just called it that.” Oh, she believed it but to have the courage to call this an operation, let alone _name_ the operation _that_.

But it definitely grew on her.

Allie caught up to her and was gleaming at the confidence her best friend displayed.

“So what’s this idea?”

\--

The next morning, Allie and Tobin sat in their living room devising up the plan of Tobin’s lifetime. They argued back and forth with exactly what to do. Whether to explore North Carolina or South Carolina and Georgia.

Tobin made her calculations and everything was set. She had enough money to take Christen to some of the memorable places the Carolina’s are known for. She checked the weather forecast after Christen completes her last seven days in the office and luckily, South Carolina doesn’t get below forty degrees in December.

All she had to do was convince Christen to make the road trip.

“I mean,” Allie crunched loudly on her frosted sugar cookie popcorn and resumed her argument, “You convinced her to play Soccer again. Surely, you can convince her to take a four hour Carride to Charleston and…”

“Spend the night there and-and then Table Rock to Atlanta. This could work…nope. No.” Tobin felt the panic rise up at the last detail, “This is a bad idea. She would never go for this!”  
Tobin was frustrated and just stared at the goofy contact picture and Allie sat there eating every bit of the seasonal treat, “It wouldn’t hurt to tryyyy. And are you sure she’s up for that kind of hike?”

“Duh,” She flashed back to that one memory in bed with Christen, her first time ever in that bed, talking about each other after they made love. Back when everything was normal.

~

“So aside from Soccer…” Christen traced small circles up and down Tobin’s stomach while she rested her head on her chest, her leg wrapped around the leg of the soccer player.

“What do you love to do?”

Tobin had to think about this answer, “Hobbies? I don’t know, running.” Christen’s laugh echoed the room at the silly answer. She couldn’t believe her, “Are you serious?”

Tobin thought harder, “Hiking. There’s this trail in South Carolina that I try to go to every chance I get but it’s a long drive.”

Christen’s head went up and propped herself up on her elbow, interest peaking much higher than it initially was. Tobin could tell that Christen was fighting sleep and she was clearly losing.

“You need to promise to take me there one day, Hiking has always been something me and Ty do together.” She said the words though it seemed like she was half asleep, nestling her head into Tobin’s shoulder and hugging her a little tighter.

This was a moment Tobin felt like she wanted to hold onto forever, making promises with the girl she loves and never backing down from them. It took her a moment too long to answer, hearing Christen’s soft snore. She was too tired to make the small talk having being awake since 6 am.

But it didn’t stop her from making a promise she knew she was going to keep.

“I promise.”

~

“She loves hiking.”

She has five days after her last day at UNC which is perfect for Tobin. Travelling to Charleston would take four hours, less if she drove the speed the always drove going down there. And then to Greenville and then to Atlanta.

_Damnit Allie._

Tobin lunged for the blue bag of seasonal popcorn and grabbed her keys from the bowl on the breakfast bar. Tobin remembered Christen mentioning through text that she had to be at the office today to finish up some loose ends. She came to terms with the fact that there is a very solid chance that Christen will never agree to this but as Allie said, it doesn’t hurt to try.

So why not try now?

The drive to the center was short, not enough time for Tobin to think up of a clever way to convince the girl of her dreams to go on a wild trip with her. She walked up the familiar steps faster than she normally does, excited and anxious to find out what the answer will be. It was a trip planned out of the whim, which if Tobin remembers correctly, those were the trips that always ended up the best ones.

_Luck is on my side._

She started singing Michael Jackson under her breath, as low key as she could up until she realized at the top of the stairs that no one was here. Something she used to always doing highschool was dance to get her nerves out before every game to Michael Jackson. However, this didn’t feel like any mid season game.

It felt like a penalty kick in a championship game at the ninetieth minute. Either risk it all and try to hit an upper ninety for an impossible shot to block or just try to kick the ball without showing any tells.

Win or lose.

She started busting out some of Michael Jackson’s dance moves while on the way to her office, her voice starting to grow much louder in confidence.

“I’ll give you all that I’ve got… I want to love you P Y T, PRETTY YOUNG TING!” She tried to moonwalk, “You need some loo-ah-ah-vin, tender lovin’-careeeyah. And I’ll take you there, He-HEEH.”

Her imitation of Michael Jackson’s iconic sounds was probably the best Christen has ever heard. She opened the door right after Tobin moonwalked by the bathroom and not noticing Christen standing there, singing without any music. Noone was in the office since it was on the weekend and she was required to be there to fill out paperwork.

She reached the small office around the corner and the light was open but there was no sign of the advisor. She felt the goosebumps rise, feeling the presence behind her and closed her eyes.

_Please god, why. Why do I continue to embarrass myself in every way._

She licked her lips and turned around slowly, swearing to herself at that moment that she will never do her gameday ritual at any place but her bedroom. Tobin looked at Christen who was just dressed in sweats and an old Stanford sweatshirt, head tilting to the side with a smile so pure it lightened up Tobin’s world.

It just reminded her that everything will be okay. She had to remind herself to stop smiling at her since it was the first time in days that she’s seen her.

“I didn’t expect you to… be out here. Thought you know, you could use a…friend.” Tobin stopped herself, _friend._ The word bothered the hell out of her but she smiled again to hide the pain.

Christen nudged past her, resting her hand gently on Tobin’s waist to scoot by her. No matter how small the contact was, how trivial the moment want… the small touch on her waist still made Tobin unravel the desires she fought to push aside. The senior missed the small contacts, the hugs, the quick pecks on the cheeks and how things used to be.

She wanted her so bad. She wanted to pin her against the wall and kiss her until she forgot to breathe. But all those feelings had to remain dormant no matter how hard they fought to get out.  She had to control herself around her, thinking twice before saying something to Christen.

“Thank you, I’ve been here for quite some time.”

She was careful with the words she chose, not wanting to be too short or too open. Tobin followed Christen into the office, sitting down in that seat that she was tested in so many times. She looked at the desk and around the room, remembering the past interactions she had with Christen.

The room was so small but was filled with memorable moments shared between the two. It should be making her feel happy. Instead, it made her sad just being in there. Tobin wanted to create new memories for Christen, better ones by taking this trip.

_Allie: Good luck!_

Tobin looked down at her phone and then looked back up.

_It’s time._

“I lied.”

Christen’s head popped up and she let her pen fall onto the cold, wooden desk. Tobin edged forward almost instantly, cursing at herself for ever starting off her speech this way.

“I lied about why I came here.”

“Oh?” Christen exhaled out her answer, relieved to hear that she didn’t lie in their past conversation.

“Yes,” Tobin watched Christen lean back in her seat and nervously itched at her throat, needing to do something with her hands as she did this.

“I want you to experience something from the South that’s… memorable. You know?”

Christen looked a little confused, “I’m not following?” Tobin shuffled in her seat, _oh no oh no oh no! Do better,_ Tobin pinched the bridge of her nose and stopped shaking her leg, _don’t over complicate this._

“After I graduate, let me take you to some places before you go…” Christen listened carefully before opening her mouth to talk but Tobin continued to talk anyways, “It’ll be like two…friends, taking a trip. It’s completely harmless, I just can’t let you leave here only knowing what running on the beach with a dog feels like or what fried chicken and waffles is or—“

Tobin laughed at herself, “I’m rambling. Sorry, I just want you to go.”

Christen remained quiet and Tobin caught the small smile that formed but quickly went away, “Tobin…”

“Please?” Tobin did her best impression of the puppy dog face, “What is there to lose?”

Christen thought long and hard, completely aware of all the possibilities that could happen on this trip. She was actually excited to make a trip like this with Tobin but she had to hold back. She couldn’t go on this trip knowing that deep down, she still felt something for Tobin and there was Jimmy in the picture.

“I can’t. There’s so much packing to do and…” Tobin felt frustrated inside and cut her off with a wave of her hand, “Say no more. I got it.”

Tobin got up out of her seat, embarrassed really. She didn’t know what to feel, getting rejected was something she was not in any way used to. Christen watched her leave, seeing her shoulders slumped in defeat. She didn’t know how to respond but to say no to the offer. 

_Jimmy: I can’t wait to see you._

Christen instinctively reached for her phone and read the text. Naturally, you’re supposed to feel some sort of excitement. Christen didn’t feel anything when she read that text. But when Tobin invited her, her heart practically leapt out her chest.

_Two friends. Just, friends._

“Wait!” The word came out louder than she expected and Tobin responded faster than anticipated. Christen felt the weight release off her chest when she saw Tobin’s eyes glimmer with hope. Tobin couldn’t walk, her own feet anchoring her down in that one specific spot just outside the door. She just stared at Christen who was struggling to say the words herself.

 “I’ll go.”

“YES!” Tobin felt free, skipping her way back into the room to get closer to Christen. And yes, she actually skipped.

_What the hell am I doing?_

“There’s one condition.”

 “What?” Tobin rolled her eyes and started laughing for no reason, “Yes.”

 “You don’t even know what I was about to say.”

\--

Tobin stood infront of the Kenan Memorial stadium in her cap and gown. Tobin stood there waiting for Allie who was still in the car, looking at her student-athlete stole in disbelief. From a small town in New Jersey to graduating from one of the best collegiate programs for women’s soccer.

It all felt too real, almost like a dream.

She thought about all the accomplishments she has achieved here at her soon to be alma mater.

69 goals.

56 assists.

12 game winning goals.

She broke records, set new records for shots at goal and how many goals she scored. Tobin made a promise to herself that she would not count her own number of goals or stats in general. During senior night, she found out the amount of records she broke. Ontop of that, she was graduating Cum Laude with a Public Health degree. All together, her years at UNC were very successful.

Her last year was by far her best.

And it wasn’t from soccer.

She tried not to be the basic white girl wearing a white dress. However, she has Allie to thank her for that. She wore a flowy white dress with a halter top finish, pairing it with black heels that took two people to put it on. It was practically putting laces through a tennis shoe, except it was for a heel.

_Here we go._

“LETSSS DOOOO THIS BITCHES!” Allie screamed out, wobbling towards Tobin who shook her head in embarrassment.

_Way to ruin the moment._

\--

 _What’s the point of going to this thing?_ She got bored of the speeches, bored of the guest speaker. And all for what, switching a Tassel over to the left side and switching the direction of the ring sigma to face out to the world?

To cross a stage and get an empty diploma cover? Tobin hated the ceremony and hated sitting through it.

Allie had to leave her to go seat in her assigned seat and so she was stuck between two blondes who were over-zealous and resorted to practically catching every moment on snapchat.

As if having Vince Carter speak at your graduation was supposed to be amazing… He kept using basketball references that Tobin had no idea what they meant. So in short, Tobin’s life was miserable.

If it wasn’t for Allie, she would’ve never went to this damn thing in the first place. Afterall, your diploma is sent through the mail to ensure that you don't owe the school any money. And with the parking tickets that Tobin racked up, she definitely owed the school something. Her whole family knew she never wanted to walk the stage and respected it but Tobin admitted to herself that she liked the idea of wearing everything because it symbolized her success here at UNC.

She expected only her family to show up, no one else. It bothered her that she never asked Christen to her own graduation, which probably came off as an insult to Christen since they were so close. She looked around in the stadium and could spot her family up close but no familiar places from where she was at. Her teammates apparently came but didn’t tell her, hoping to surprise her.

In spite of all the reasons that Tobin gathered in the past hour and a half which in all, made her regret ever walking, she was still nervous. Her row stood up and so she did too, trying to act as cool as she could as she followed the long blonde hair infront of her.

Slowly but surely, Tobin made her way near the stage and the girl in front of her suddenly turned around.

“Okay I know this is a weird question but-can-we-take-a Picture together?”  
_IS this what fame feels like? Oh the amount of attention Christen must’ve gotten._

Tobin smiled at the thought but not her, “Sure.” Both of them smiled quickly and took a snap, the blonde saving it before writing “She’s gonna be famous!” and asking to take another, but this time a funny face.

She threw her arm over Tobin’s neck, pulling her in closer and poked her tongue out. Tobin was confused and caught off guard, throwing up a peace sign and mentally thought, _ahhh!_

Her face did the complete opposite of what Tobin was trying to go for, showing nothing but a look of terror. It made Tobin grimace at how awful she is at taking pictures. She has the beautiful smile, but lacks any capabilities of taking a decent picture.

The blonde's name got called and the girl walked confidently up the ramp, giving the biggest smile for the president. Tobin heard some people cheer for her but it was barely anything.

_Hope no one cheers._

“Tobin, Powell, Heath. Cum Laude.”  She felt the chills rise when many parts of the crowd cheered her on as she walked the stage. The smile that formed on her lips was something natural, coming from the heart.

She knew she had fans but not this many. She didn’t think that many people watched women’s soccer or even cared for it. Apparently, not UNC, the place she called home for four years.

“Thank you for everything you brought to the soccer program.” The president shook her hand proudly and Tobin was in awe, completely surprised by the love she got. She looked around and so many people stood up, clapping for her despite the loss that was handed to them in the tournament.

_Maybe it wasn’t all that bad to come. I could get used to this…_

She brought one hand up, envisioning the princess diaries in her head of where Queen Clarisse taught Mia how to wave.

_Okay, not like that._

_Fast or slow waving?_

_Shit shouldn’t be so COMPLICATED._

She ended up not waving, just awkwardly leaving her arm in the sky before bringing it back down.

She carefully went down the steps, watching her feet to make sure she doesn’t trip like some of the girls. Once she was safe, she breathed out a sigh of relief and looked up, mimicking the way that girl walked with her held her head high.

Except once she looked up, she saw the one face she was dying to see. The one person, in the front row just ahead of the platform, that she hoped to god would come even though she never invited her. Her heart felt like it was about to explode into tiny little confetti, mouthing the words you made it as she walked by her.

She looked like an idiot but didn’t care, only staring at the huge smile directed towards her and only her. Which was probably…

The worse decision Tobin has ever made in her life.

_I would…_

Trying to read lips was actually harder than it looks, her focus changing from her uncomfortable strides that she took. She tripped over her own foot, feeling nothing but sheer panic as she felt herself in slow motion make her way towards the ground.

“Tracy, Mc-OOooh…” The speaker saw it happen in the corner of his eye, whole crowd joining in as Tobin connected with the floor.

_Shit._

Christen watched it happen and wanted to jump over to help her but she couldn’t. Tobin scurried back up, bringing her arms up to assure everyone that she’s okay. And then, looking directly at Christen, she mouthed the words to the girl with excellent vision.

_This is because of you._

Christen laughed at the words, dumbfounded. It was cute and Christen played coy, pointing at herself while cheesing from one ear to the next, _me?_ She felt the blush rise up her necks and up her cheeks and brought up her hands to cover her face.

Tobin would’ve continued the talk but she couldn’t, feeling the sparks jump off her skin by just the presence of this girl at her graduation. It definitely wasn't a bad idea to go to this graduation. But she had to keep walking, right past Allie at the beginning of the row behind Tobin’s who just laughed hysterically once the two made eye contact.

"Add this to the list of achievements."

“Yeah, shut it.” Tobin concealed the bird she shot to Allie and went into her row. Sitting down, her eyes gravitated towards the spot Christen was in. Seeing her perfect jawline with her hair swept to the side, she was flawless in that long dress of hers.

And for the rest of the graduation, Tobin couldn’t focus on anything but her.

It was easy finding Allie since they sat near each other, just on different rows. Before finding their ways back to their families, the both of them agreed to meet up back at the apartment for one last “hoorah”.

“Toby BEAR!”

Tobin groaned in the hug and rolled her eyes, “Ma, please don’t call me that.”

“T-bearrr,” Perry gave her a crooked smile when Tobin shot her a _are you serious_ look with her arms out before going into a long hug, “Congrats baby sis.”

_Family._

Such a small word with a colossal meaning. Those who have always been there for her are nothing but proud. Her dad joined in on the hug and seconds later, the rest of them joined in. It was a heartwarming moment though it made Tobin uncomfortable. She was never one to be affectionate towards her family, nor anyone in that matter.

“Guys…” She looked up in desperation, “I can’t br…eath.”

_Lying always helps._

Her family didn’t care because they saw through the lie that was played out so many times, squeezing her tighter.

They know her better than she knows herself. Her arms fell to her side in defeat, looking straight ahead and just waiting for her family to let go. And in the midst of all the emotions in the air and people, she spotted Christen… straight ahead.

“Pops, Ma. Guys. GUYS!” She nudged everyone off and gave each one a quick kiss, suddenly feeling the love. She went on her knees, level to her younger brother and took off her stole. She let it fall onto his shoulders and ran her hands down the silk, “it’s going to be yours one day.”

She gave her brother the tightest hug she could, “I need to go do something real quick. I’ll catch up with you guys.”

Before hearing their answer, Tobin nudged her brother aside and walked straight towards the brunette waiting idly by. She could tell Christen was hiding the angst behind her forced smile, putting the pieces together that she wasn’t nervous of Tobin.

But, meeting her family.

“It was because of you.”

“Me? Naaaah…” Christen continued to play dumb and Tobin was playing along with it. The perfect opportunity presented itself.

_Just tell her you’re beautiful._

“I was completely… And utterly, captivated by your beauty.” She gave herself a mental pat in the back with the careful words she chose. Seeing the  the blush rise made her so happy knowing she still had that effect on Christen. 

“That was bad.”

“No,” She licked her lips slowly and had to look into Christen’s eyes that were trained on hers, “I’m really glad you came. It means the world to me.”

_I wouldn’t… miss it for the world._

The world felt like it was turning ten times slower when Tobin came closer. The voices around the two were drowned out by the rapid beat of Christen’s heart thumping through her ears. All she did was let herself be wrapped up by the strong arms of the graduate.

This was the first time the two ever touched, feeling like this was a moment both of them were waiting for a lifetime. It was no longer cold for Christen, the warmth of Tobin’s body against hers made her feel like she was on fire.

Also, it got her feeling guilty for being with Jimmy.

He didn't deserve it.

Her strong arms wrapped around her waist, squeezing softly while Christen wrapped her arms around Tobin’s neck and nuzzled her face in the crook of Tobin’s shoulder.

She felt like she was levitating, especially with the smell of Tobin's hair and perfume.

And it was _just_  a **hug**?

She missed it.

She asked herself why was she with Jimmy, stringing him along when she knows that she never felt anything towards him but for Tobin.

_He was only supposed to be a wedding date, how could I let it get this far?_

She dropped the ball with Jimmy, using his kindness for weakness. Christen has never done something like this but his purpose was as clear as this day.

He gave her all the answers she needed.

 


	10. Operation Preath pt 2

Tobin threw off her cap and gown once she got in the apartment, kicking the door behind her shut. She went to the fridge and grabbed two beers along with the bottle opener, dragging her feet towards the couch. She sat down and took off the heels that she was in no way used to wearing, kicking up her feet on the table and reclined all the way back on the leather couch. She knew Allie hated feet on the coffee table.

_No way I’m getting off this couch…_

She closed her eyes and relived the hug one more time, feeling like she was at home in the arms of her former advisor. Right when she was about to take that long-awaited sip from the glorious beer, someone pounded on the door much too loud, startling her, spilling some of the beer on her white dress.

“No Tobin, it’s not fair to just sit in the dark and not worry about a damn thing before the drive tonight.” She mutters as she stomped angrily towards the door, patting away the beer and noting the small, stain from the beverage.

_Ooooossa, it could be worse._

She opened the door slowly to an unfamiliar face, confusion spreading across her face.

“Can I help you?”

The young lady was wearing a very obvious, expensive black blazer matched with black pants. She could see the red bottoms from the four inch, pointy heels that Allie always wished to have for her birthday. Not knowing enough information about the heels, she told her that she would get them for her birthday. Until she googled them and it was over five hundred dollars, Allie knew to kiss that dream goodbye.

After Tobin finished scanning the woman’s tall and slender body, she brought a hand out towards Tobin.

“Hi Ms. Heath, I am Rachael Waters.” When the two shook hands and Tobin gave her an affirmative nod, she continued to talk her way into Tobin’s apartment.

“I’m with CAA. I was hoping to find you to discuss the possibilities of playing professional. You are the number one prospect for many clubs out—“ The information was so new to Tobin, almost feeling like it was being thrown at Tobin who held up two hands almost instantly, “H-Hold up, how’d you even know where I live?”

“Uh… Your roommate told me where you’d be? I tried to find you after the ceremony but you left so fast…” She acted as if Tobin was expecting her, skeptic of Tobin’s reaction.

_Damn you Allie._

“I’m sorry, can I get you a beer?” Tobin winced at her own question, running one hand through her hair while the other hand rested on her hip.

“Unfortunately no,” She dug through her purse and brought out her wallet, handing her a red and card.

 _Creative Artists Agency, Rachael Waters, so she’s super official._ Tobin pursed her lips, not knowing the significance behind the agency and looked back up to see Rachael waiting at the doorway, “So… you’re like the real deal?”

Rachael laughed a little, “You could say that. I’m here to turn you into a star Tobin, to get you the best deal you could get and find you your new home.”

_Actually good with her words._

“And I can just stop by?” Rachel ushered towards Tobin to read the card one more time in detail, “Let me know when you want to stop by and my assistant will handle all the expenses.” Tobin bit her lower lip and read the card one more time, _2000 Avenue of the Stars. Los Angeles, CA 90067._ She read the address one more time, bemused with the odd coincidence of them being based in California. Moreso, amazed at the fact that someone that seems so prestigious is willing to fly across the country to meet her.

“I’ll get back to you Rachael.” She walked over and shook her hand one more time, this time more affirmative and strong, quick only to deliver a good message. Her dad always told her that a handshake is a greater bond than any written contract, showing more about the character and less about the appearance.

“I know you will.” She gave her a wink and Tobin couldn’t help but smile from the dreamlike conversation. Once the sports agent left she and jumped up, fist pumping in the air like she would celebrating a goal.

“What do I do what do I do!!” She started talking to herself in excitement, reaching for her phone and dialing a number on her phone.

“Tobin, hey. I’m so sorry, I’m not even—“

“Rachael Waters just stopped by my apartment.” She said in a hurry, eager to share the information rather than wait a few hours. She heard a gasp from the other end, “The… Rachael Waters? As in, the _best_ female sports agent in the country?”

“I-I-I don’t know Chris but there’s a good shot at me being first pick in the draft in January… I could go pro? I mean I know I’m going pro blah blah blah but first pick?! Sheesh…”

She heard nothing but a scuffle on the other end, “Chris?”

Christen reached for her laptop and searched for the mock draft, seeing who has the first pick of the round.

 _Boston._ Her heart sank, hoping that it would be a team relatively closer to Cali or even Chicago in the matter. Christen’s thoughts kept stirring and didn’t hear her name called from the other end the first time.

“Christen, are you there?” Tobin smacked the phone once thinking that it would do something, moving to the other side of the room because she then thought that it was her signal.

“Yeah… Yeah. I’m sorry, I’m so happy for you Tobs.” She lied, rubbing the top of her forehead and then sighed. Tobin didn’t notice the somber in her voice because of the state of joy she was in, pacing back and forth in the room once she heard her voice again.

“I just can’t believe it!” She squealed, hearing a small laugh on the other end, exciting her even more.

“I can.” Christen sat down at the end of her bed, staring at the empty closet to her left, trying her best to be as discrete as she could, “You’re amazing Tobs, and an even better Soccer player. You’re special.”

Tobin’s smile got much larger, challenging the words of the brunette. She leaned her head against the glass of the sliding door leading to her porch, closing her eyes while the smile that formed never faltered, “I am, aren’t I?”

There was that silence on the other end again, not fazing Tobin who turned a blind eye to it. She had no idea how the draft was looking or how it even works.

“You are.” She whispers, letting the words fall off her lips. Clearing her throat and pushing herself off the bed, Christen had to let Tobin go.

“I need to finish packing the rest of my things so that I can be ready by atleast one.”

Tobin’s body reacted too fast, almost like a knee jerk reaction to the words, completely forgetting about the packing. She hurried over to her closet and pulled out a small suitcase, holding her phone steady with her shoulder.

“Yes-Yeah-Yeah totally, I’ll see you soon.”  
“Yeah…” Christen laughed a little at how quickly Tobin’s tone changed from euphoric to frantic in less than seconds, “Bye Tobs.”

She stopped rummaging through her things when she heard that laugh, unable to hang up the phone. Christen held the phone up and itched right above her eyebrow, this time experiencing the silence from the other end.

Christen pursed her lips before breaking the silence, “So you’re not going to hang up first?”

“Nope,” Tobin popping the ‘p’ at the very end, “Are you?”

Tobin bit her lip once she said the final words, anticipating a clever response right away but it didn’t come. Christen was trying not to smile but her forcing back the smile only made it worse, “Ohhh man,” Christen groaned out loud and threw more things into her suitcases, “No.”

Tobin laughed out loud and picked up a few joggers and pullovers from the top shelf of her closet, placing them down gently into the suitcase.

“Guess we’re going to pack together then.”

“Hang up Tobs.” She says smiling while pressing the phone against her ear. Tobin giggled, practically feel that smile from miles away which pushed her to press her a little more.

"No."

"Hang up." She says smiling, closing her eyes trying to picture Tobin's smile.

“How about we hang up on the count of three?”

“Okay, 1.”

“Two.”

“Three.” Both counted together on the third second, each stopping what they were doing. Tobin stopped folding and now held the phone up to her ear with her hand, waiting to hear something from Christen who tried to resist the urge but couldn’t, bursting into a fit of laughter.

“We suck.” Tobin heard the rapturous laugh and it sent her to cloud nine, everything somehow feeling like it was back to where they were from day one. She felt happy, beyond happy that things felt normal between the two. Tobin heard the door swing open, followed by Allie drunkenly calling out her name, an instant cue for Tobin to end the call though she didn’t want to.

She also didn’t want to push it, “Looks like I have to end the call.”

Christen heard Allie yell out her name, prolonging the O and I in Tobin’s name. She resumed to throw her things into the suitcase, “I’ll see you later?”

Allie swung open her bedroom door, “Where’s my Harry!”

“Yep, I’ll see you then.” Tobin hung up quickly before Allie could get any closer, “Who was that, your _boo_?”

Tobin checked her apple watch and it read eleven, confused as to why or how Allie could be so drunk so soon.

_Has to be Bati._

“Did you know…” She slurs her words, throwing her arm around Tobin’s neck who felt the weight shift onto her, “That… We might be playing against each other?”

Tobin was easily able to carry Allie to her bed, placing her down gently. She could tell that Allie has been acting strange the past few weeks, “Is there something you want to tell me?” Allie took a long gulp and smacked her lips, closing her eyes as she spoke.

“I didn’t get invited to the training camp.” She nudged Tobin away,  “And it was all because they were looking at you scoring the goals, not _meeee_.” She pointed to herself and smiled weakly, “Have fun with the yogi…” Her hands fell to her sides before drifting to sleep. Her soft snore following soon after her arms dropped and Tobin stood there, shocked and… sad.

How could they not invite her?

_Was it really because of me?_

She packed the rest of her things quietly and carefully, thinking deep into the predicament she was in. Guilt seeped into her bones faster than the nostalgia as she reminisced the last four years of her life. All those years were with Allie.

All her memories were around Allie. Her thoughts went towards Christen and her connection to Jill Ellis, even some of the managers in the NWSL. Tobin knew of Allie’s long dream since she was young to play on the senior level with all the elite athletes. Hell, it was her dream too. But starting from freshman year of college to senior year, it was a dream that the both shared together.

What are the chances of the both of them going to the same club? It’s slim to none, but only a fool would separate the two and not try to get them both on the squad. Tobin zipped up her jacket and kissed Allie on the forehead before grabbing her suitcase. She exited the room quietly, closing the door behind her and made her way towards the front door.

For a moment, she wanted to just cancel with Christen and hang back with her best friend, be there for her. Tobin imagined Allie’s reaction to staying back instead of going through with this trip – an angry, bewildered Harry.

She thought back to the first time ever meeting Allie, both freshman at the time destined to room with each other. That very same night, the two talked endlessly about what they loved ranging from favorite soccer teams to movies.

And it so happened that the both loved Harry Potter, connecting on the movie series. They argued for god knows how long about which movie was the best -- the Sorcerers Stone or the Chamber of Secrets. Then came the moment where the nickname ‘Harry’ came up, both trying to impersonate Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint when they first met on the train ride heading towards Hogwarts.

They continued to argue, insisting on who would be Harry and who would be Ron in the friendship. In the end, both of them settled with Harry and it stuck. In practices, she would yell out Harry instead of Tobin and Tobin would do the same exact thing.

Their friendship was built on loyalty and trust. Trust in one another that they would be there for each other when times get rough. And loyalty, where one never turns their back on the other for their own benefit. Meaning, when it came to Soccer, the two created their own version of the unbreakable vow, vowing to never put the blame on the other to look better in front of the coach.

It was never “to each, their own” with the two, they were one.

She knew Allie would never accept her staying behind so she packed her car with snacks and her suitcase. Tobin’s drive to Christen’s house in her 2009 Toyota Camry seemed too long, her mind thinking of all the different scenarios of how this trip will end up. Nevertheless, she remained optimistic.

She loved the car too much, even naming it after Buckbeak since that was her favorite pet on Harry Potter despite the bright red color paint. She drove it proudly, making just enough room in her trunk and backseat for Christen to put her things in.

Except she didn’t know…

That one condition.

\--

“Okay, this. Is, an outrage.” Tobin pouted and crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her head against the passenger side’s window. They finished packing the car with their small suitcases and snacks.

“It is not.” Christen looked over and gave Tobin a small smile, “Your car is unreliable.”

“It’s gas efficient.”

“It’s a 2009 Camry.”

One minute later, “She saves money.”

“Tobin, cut it out.”

“Fine…”

It was your typical carride, both of them making small talk about their families or friends. Christen tried to avoid asking a question that dared to open up the topic of their future, failing miserably.

“So…” Christen looked up at the mirror and cleared her throat, “You and Allie. What’s going to happen?”

“How do you know about that?” Tobin just assumed that she knew that Jill didn’t invite her to the camp but really, she was just asking her about them possibly going to different teams

“Know what?”

Tobin sighed and noticed she didn’t hear the news, “She didn’t get invited to the camp.”  
“Oh that’s dumb,” Christen scoffs and picks up her speed to pass a slow SUV in the left lane, “I’ll try to pull strings. You two are magic together.”

Tobin sighed and looked into the dark sky, “Don’t think it works that way Chris…”

“Uh, you forget that I played under her for years. I know how she works, easy push-over.” She looked over at Tobin who looked back. In those seconds before she had to look back at the road, she noticed the sadness in her eyes that was illuminated by the lights of the GPS.

“I’ll talk to Jill.”

She looked back again and saw Tobin’s white teeth, holding her stare for a second too long. That smile will never get old, putting a hold on Christen, _look away._

“I promise.”

She forced herself to look back to the empty road that was ahead. She searched for those words, throat getting drier than the desert itself.

“I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Don’t.”

Three hours later into the ride, they fight over the radio. Where Tobin listens to Future or Drake, Christen listens to jazz during long car rides. They were polar opposites, “Chrissssten. Seriously, my ears are bleeding. My turn?”

“Tobin, my car. My radio.”

“See this is partially the reason why I wanted to drive.”

“Oh?” This time, Christen knitted her eyebrows together and challenged Tobin to continue. The soccer player eye’s widened and backed herself up, “Yah, YES. I knew you would do this.”

Christen was completely calm and reserved but Tobin wasn’t, “Might I add, you asked me to come.”

Tobin scoffed, “Yeah. Going with Bucky, not your _BMW_.”

“Bucky?”

Tobin was about to answer back but the GPS spoke up to take the next exit. The two of them got quiet for Christen to focus on the driving, seeing the large bridge appear in the distance ten minutes later.  Christen has had her fair share of bridges but not like this.

She’s never seen the sun rise her time here and Charleston’s was the perfect view. They made it just in time to see the bridge lit up with the sunrise in the background. It was hard for Christen to admit to herself that seeing the sunrise against that bridge was more beautiful than the bridges and sunsets in California.

Even the river was lit up by the blue and pink skies. The sight didn’t amaze Tobin nearly as much as Christen was but it surely made her happy seeing Christen’s face. It just proved to her that the five hour drive in the night listening to jazz was definitely worth it.

Tobin gave Christen small descriptions as they passed through the historic city, getting to the Hotel and checking in.

While Christen was dressed in light skinny jeans and a navy jacket, Tobin dressed in black skinny jeans with a simple, long UNC Athletics Tshirt after taking off her jacket. She still had makeup on from the graduation, as did Christen.

They got situated in one of Charleston’s most historic Hotel that was built in the 1800’s, neither one of them noting the fact that the only room available had one bed.

“So this Hotel is apparently haunted.” Tobin turned around and didn’t see Christen near her but with the early tour group.

 _Who tours Charleston this early?_ She looked at her watch that read six thirty, _must be their first stop._ Even though the guy was the only one talking, her focus wasn’t on him. It was on the girl who looked around, scanning the architecture of the place while listening closely.

Christen loved the lobby of the hotel, looking around the tall, detailed walls and the history. A small tour group was in the lobby, their lead describing the place’s history. Christen left Tobin’s side without telling her to hear the guy leading the tour group talk. She was amazed, listening closely to the man describing the Hotel that was used as a confederate base during the civil war.

“After the fire swept Charleston in 1861, those confederate soldiers were the ones who put the fire out in this hotel.” The crowd was into the story of the Hotel, all quiet and focused only on the story teller.

“People say they have seen men dressed in blue running up and down the halls. And rumor has it… they were ordered by Robert E. Lee to look for water to put the fire out.” Tobin snuck away, taking both of their suitcases up the stairs without Christen noticing.

She got into the shower right then and there, needing it the most before the two went out and adventured the streets of Charleston. The best part about Charleston was the walk, never being bored because there is _always_ something to talk about from the history that coursed through the city.

And luckily, Tobin knew all about it.

It was the southern version of a city that never sleeps-- one of the better cities of the south, even up there with New Orleans. She didn’t notice how long she was in the shower, mentally preparing herself and regaining the willpower she needs for the next four days with Christen.  
She got out, wrapping a towel around her wet body and swung open the door while looking at mock draft that’s taking place in less than 3 weeks.

“Boston…” She frowned and texted Rachael, _any chances of not getting Boston?_

The three dots appeared for maybe five seconds and then the message popped up.

_I can ask around, surely there will be a trade for the spot._

“Ahhh, how everything is falling into place…” She dropped her towel and went to her suitcase sitting on the queen bed. She hummed _I’m ontop of the world_ as she carefully pulled out her neatly folded white J-crew three quarter sleeve shirt, a pair of washed out skinny jeans, and a pink lululemon bra. She looked at her panties selection, “Really Tobin. This is what you decide to bring.”

She looked at the lacy collection and chose the pink, floral-lace pattern to match with her sports bra.

“Right?”

 _What!?_ Tobin did a full turn in just her sports bra and thong on to face Christen who covered up her face, body against the wall.

_How long has she been standing there?!_

“I d-d-didn’t know you were there the whole—Oh god I’m sorry. Not the way I wanted this to play out.”

“Relax,” Christen had a small smile on her face, walking by Tobin cooly.

“I have seen you naked before.”

Blush crept up Tobin’s neck faster than a wildfire raging through the woods, _did I atleast look good? Fuck._ Tobin quickly threw on her shirt, “I-when we, okay. Cool. NBD. Adults.” Her sentence was too cut up, _No big deal, we’re adults. You. Idiot._

Christen was cracking up in the inside, rummaging through her messy suitcase to pull out that same Stanford pullover she had on not too long ago.

“I was hoping that…” She took off her shirt and Tobin took one deep breath and averted her eyes from the beige push-up bra she was wearing, _how long does it take to put a pullover on,_ “…I could take a nap before we leave?”

“Yeah, yeah sure.” Christen smiled without showing her pearly white teeth and pulled her skinny jeans down, one hip up with the other going down kind of style. Tobin’s mouth dropped at how open Christen is to just changing in front of her, showing off her body proudly and with no hesitation.

 _I need water. Water._ She gulped once, suddenly thirsty at the sight of her in just a pullover and off white pair of boxer panties. Her eyes got watery, burning in angst, panic rising as she hastily walked over to the fridge.

Her hand was sweaty, grabbing the first water bottle  she spotted and went to open the bottle but a warm hand stopped her from doing so. Christen was too close, too close for Tobin to handle.

_Is this really how it’s going to be._

“Tobin…” She took the water from her hand and Tobin just watched the bottle be taken away as if someone was taking her own puppy.

“These things cost like… 3 dollars? I’m sorry but that’s two gallons worth of gas.” Tobin’s eyebrows raised, throat drying up once again. All she did was extend her lower lip out and nod slowly, getting as far away as she could from the girl who smelled intoxicating.

_Just die of thirst, cool._

Tobin sat down on the uncomfortable, wooden chair in the corner and propped her legs up on the table. Christen was enjoying every minute she had with the struggling soccer player, laying down on the bed slowly and not getting under the covers. In her defense, she couldn’t sleep with pants on and she didn’t bring her combat shorts to sleep in.

Tobin put her earphones on and turned on her apple music, putting it on shuffle. Ironically, California came on by Childish Gambino. The upbeat song played loudly, _she wants to move to California…_

Tobin looked at sleeping beauty and watched her try to sleep, _she must’ve fuckin’ lost her mind._

_No, pretty sure I lost my mind._

Her leg rose up just a little on the bed, catching Tobin’s eye yet again. Her sweatshirt already rode up just enough for Tobin to see her hip bone, the natural curves of the sun-kissed body. She must’ve been staring too long, not noticing that the next song was playing. It was like apple music was trying to tell her something, playing another song that was even more ironic than the last.

_I fell in love with you before I ever even knew._

Tobin licked her lips slowly, wanting to get closer to Christen who was sound asleep, the drive obviously something Christen wasn’t used to. She tiptoed towards the bed, getting on it very carefully, not wanting to wake up the older girl.

She was lost in the sight that she lied next to her, her temptations grew. She pushed aside the hair that was covering a part of her face, Christen breathing in deeply at the touch. Her skin was warm, too warm.

Tobin didn’t take into account how relaxed she got, the sleepy feeling suddenly hitting her like the brick hitting Marv’s face in Home Alone, lost in New York. She was calm, her breathing getting slower and her heartbeat going back to the steady beat it was once in.

She was a trainwreck around Christen, but felt like she was at home.

And slowly but surely, she closed her eyes and dreamed of the girl laying right next to her.

\--

Tobin fell asleep but woke up before Christen did, bringing herself closer into the body behind her whilst smiling. And then the sleepy feeling was gone, heartbeat rose too fast and her eyes widened from the shock.  
She felt the warm body against her back, _oh god oh god oh god. It feels so good._ She pinched her nose like she was holding back a sneeze and slipped right out of Christen’s arm.

Christen was still sleeping and relief swarmed through her entire body, _practice makes perfect._

_Damnit Tobs, do it right._

She looked outside, a perfect day with zero clouds and the sun lit up the once dim room. She looked at the old clock just next to the window, noon.

“Chris…” She lazily pulled up her skinny jeans and nudged the girl one more time, “Chris, wake up.”

Christen moaned and turned to have her back on the bed, stretching her long arms in opposite directions, “What time is it…”

“Twelve.”

Her upper body flung up, “We’re off schedule!” Her voice was no longer groggy and she was up. She ran her fingers through her tussled hair, rubbed her eyes, and quickly stripped down again.

_Can’t catch no break._

\--

“This place is the best.” Tobin opened the door for Christen and went in, their hands barely grazing each other and her hairs stood up on her arm once she felt the hand. The young hostess smiled at the two, “How many?”

“Table for two please.” Tobin and Christen followed the girl to their table and sat down, getting their drinks minutes later. While Tobin ordered a sweet tea, Christen ordered a water. It was the typical, tourist move—not trying something new only because she had no idea what anything tasted like.

Christen started looking around the old, beat down place with a small look of worry in her eyes. There was a big painting of a female holding up a bowl of rice in Christen’s eyes, “What’s the point of that?”

She pointed at the wall next to Tobin, “Their known for their grits? This place has it’s southern charm. It’s been around since 1900.”

“That’s grits?”

_That’s all you get out of what I just said?”_

“You’ve never… had grits? You’re telling me you’ve been here for six months and you haven’t had grits?”

Christen leaned over the table, establishing some sort of authority over the lanky figure slouched back in her seat, “Between you and work, haven’t had much time for myself.”

Tobin didn’t know whether to take it as an insult or compliment, ready to fire back with a, _oh really because you had me running in the ass crack of dawn months ago._ But the waitress came back.

Tobin looked at the menu, putting it aside a moment later. However Christen looked at the brunch menu, confused and kind of… disturbed, would be the way Tobin described her facial expression.

“Are you two ready to order?”

“No.”

“Yes we are. I’m having shrimp and grits while she’s having the Charleston Nasty biscuit, little cheese please.”

The waitress looked over at Christen who was now leaned back in her seat with her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. She started laughing and wrote down the rest of Tobin’s order, “Will that be all?”

“No ma’am, we are set. Wait, a side of grits for the lady.”

Christen rolled her eyes and gave the waitress their menus. The young waitress, clearly must still be in her early years of college trying to make a living, was about to walk away but turned back around.

“I have to say, you two are probably the cutest couple we’ve seen around here, not counting the old couples who’s been around since like, forever, but—“  
“We, no.” Christen's back straightened up, Tobin started laughing once Christen brought her hands up and moved them side to side. She looked at Christen who clearly was showing signs of distress but Tobin was completely relaxed, enjoying the moment where Karma bites Christen in the ass.

“Not a couple.”

“Nope.” Tobin pops the P again, Christen’s head shooting towards her direction to give her a _Ima beat your ass_ type of glare.

“Oh really, because you two…” The waitress stopped herself once Tobin pursed her lips and proceeded to slink back in her seat, “Nevermind. I’m sorry, I’ll go put your orders in and… gonna go now.” She heard the waitress talk to herself as she went away, “Something you don’t even need to know but okay.”

She methodically chose the messiest dish for Christen to eat but it was hands down the second best thing on that menu. Shrimp and grits ofcourse, being the first.

“You need to try this.” Tobin held the seasoned shrimp with her teeth and pulled out the shell with ease, Christen watching carefully, her eyes on Tobin’s full lips. She was a master at this but she refused to try to pair grilled shrimp with… grits.

“Sorry but no.”  
“The place is literally called HOMINY, the corn that makes grits? Just trust me.” She made the perfect bite for Christen who just stared at it, “You put gravy on a biscuit and now want me to eat shrimp that you just put in your mouth…With grits?”

“Well…” Tobin smirked and leaned forward, “I’ve seen you naked but surely you know how much of an expert I am with when it comes to my mouth? Nothing got on it.”

Christen choked on her bite, going into a coughing frenzy. She drank almost half of her water and Tobin didn’t notice the waitress that was standing right behind her. And then it hit her, Christen wasn’t choking at the comment but from the embarrassment.

The waitress’s cheeks were glowing red and Tobin smiled at Christen, “She’s standing right behind me, isn’t she?”

Christen nodded rapidly before her eyes went back up to the waitress, “She’s uncontrollable. I apologize.”

“Uncon, Uncon-HAHAAA-Uncontrollable, okay. Okay. That’s,” Tobin turned around in her seat to face the frozen Waitress, “Check please?”

She nodded and with extreme speed, walked away without saying a word.

“You’re trying the shrimp and grits.”

“Nope.”

_Ofcourse she popped the P._

\--

Luckily, they found perfect parking to where they wouldn’t have to go park somewhere else. They were in perfect walking distance to the notable and historic street of Charleston, _King Street._

Christen explored slowly and delicately, looking at the different colored building and for some reason, the palm trees that lined the sidewalks actually amazed her. She was from California, something she sees very often.

But the cleanliness and history behind the street she was walking? It was something she has never experienced before in California. It was 2016 and the history was still preserved, feeling like she was taking a stroll down 1920. There was large horses with even bigger carriages strutting along slowly, “How is this place even real?”

They passed by one specific store that made Christen stop in her place.

“What… is this place?” She looked into the dessert café once and without any drop of hesitation in her mind, she went in.

_Chocolate heaven…_

“Holy, we never had anything like this in Cali.”

Tobin followed Christen in and took off her black leather jacket, draping it over her arm.

“That’s because this place is local. Only found in Charleston and Columbia.”

She looked at the menu that was spread across the back wall, written in a white chalk. It was dark in the place, bright lights illuminating every single type of cake they had. Christen had no idea what to choose.

_They even have my favorite chocolate bar in a milkshake? But a brownie sundae? “Served with warm vanilla bean icecream, whipped cream, a chocolate sauce, caramel and toasted pecaaans…_

“Christen. Where are you.” Tobin snapped her fingers at the girl sitting in the high chair infront of her, “I ordered us Brownie sundaes.”

Christen frowned, “You couldn’t get anything different so I can try that too?”  
“Trust me, you don’t need to try anything else but this.”  
\--

And she was right, it was a chocolate orgasm. The brownie was still warm, and the vanilla bean icecream had the texture of silk, melting in your mouth in all the right ways. There was chocolate chunks in the brownie, pecan giving just the right amount of crunch to counter act the chocolate chunks in the brownie.

Their whipped cream was made right then and there, airy and light, almost like a buttercream but without the butter, just the way Christen liked it. She left Kaminsky’s thinking that’s all she needed from Charleston.

But that was in no way the cherry on top. Tobin took her down the market, where it’s tradition to always go to the market.

“If you think king street was filled with History… wait until you go to this place.”

_Charleston City Market… Wait, this place._

“Tobs,” Christen gasped at the culture, a beautiful spotted horse passing by the two and the sight infront of them reappeared once again. Everyone was walking down a specific path of this brick building, surrounded by people from every corner.

“This was the place where…”

“They bought slaves.”

Christen was literally walking through a time machine, experiencing something that not many people, if not all, get to see living on the  western coast. Everyone was happy, buying things from different stands. Even children were selling their things, Tobin watching Christen smile that never faded away from astonishment.

She turned around and her hand found Tobin’s, gripping it tighter and leading her on, “This is amazing. Look!!” She stopped at the stand that a black mother with her child were selling charms and bracelets for not an expensive price.

Each bracelet had shells and engravings in brass, every one of them having a special meaning but a specific one caught her eye.

“This one is the one my daughter made,” She picked up two that had small seashells in specific order, with one brass symbol.

Christen looked at it carefully, “What’s it supposed to mean?” Her eyes switching from the daughter to the mother inquisitively. The daughter took the bracelets and put them ontop of each other, shifted it just enough to see the symbol she didn’t catch from before.

“A heart...” Christen whispers, shocked at the creativity of such a young girl.

“Love.” The black girl says smiling. She ushered Christen to reach her arm out, who laughed genuinely from the heart. She clasped the bracelet onto the small wrist of Christen’s, “Thank you sweetheart.”

She handed her the other bracelet and shied away behind her mother’s leg, Christen looking at Tobin who was just staring at her quietly after witnessing what just happened. The moment was memorable, something that Tobin wanted to hold onto forever and not let go.

Christen did the same thing the child did, this time Tobin laughing and getting the message. Christen stepped in closer though, nervously licking her lips and bit down on her lower lip from the focus. Her hands were trembling as she hooked the other bracelet around Tobin’s left wrist, just below her expensive watch.

“There.” She whispers.

They were so close, Christen forgetting that there’s an audience, her smile reluctant to wash away. Neither one of them wanted to break contact, staring into each other’s eyes deeply, hypnotized. Tobin felt herself lean in, Christen not budging as her eyes fell from Tobin’s eyes to her lips and back up. Tobin took a step back and smiled at the mother, “How much for the bracelets?”

The black, older woman laughed and told them it was for free. Tobin refused to leave without giving her anything, insisting on putting the twenty dollar bill down by force.

“So, what do you want to do now?”

Christen grinned and nudged Tobin towards the huge horse that’s feet away, “Ride one of those.”

Tobin stood next to the carriage, bringing one arm behind her back and bent down smiling, doing what the people used to do years ago. She looked up with anxious eyes and an infectious smile, saying the simplest words of them all.

“My lady.”

She looked down and waved her right hand in a circular motion slowly, feeling her heart beat faster once she felt a hand gently grab onto hers.

Charleston.


	11. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! Three exams coming in the next week, one this week. So, good chance I won't be able to get in an update on Monday's like I normally do. A little birdy told me that the last chapter ended too soon, so I kind of made this one a bit longer. Lol, Enjoy the read. I appreciate all of you so much for sticking through this story.

After the market, they explored more of Charleston’s ever finest. Going to the battery, one of the more historic ends of Charlestons, seeing the antebellum homes and Fort Sumter right across cooper river. Tobin had a gut feeling that Christen had a thing for history and her gut was right.

She was that tourist that stopped by to read every monument’s description. That tourist to want to see the Boone Hall Plantation, not for the fact that the house stood on it’s feet for more than three hundred years.

But for the fact that it was Allie’s “Summer home” in the notebook. It surprised Tobin, thinking that Christen was definitely not that type of girl to watch the notebook over and over but Christen made it very clear to her that she was. Chris made her drive half an hour just to see Noah’s home with the blue shutters which by the way, Tobin found the least bit intriguing.

“I’ve never watched the notebook, so why would I care about a house with, blue shutters.”

Christen gasped, “Excuse you. It was the rea—wait what? Never?”

Tobin shrugged, “Never.”

“Oh,” Christen walked around the house like a burglar trying to scout the house, noting the ways to go in and ways to go out. She was _that,_ into it.

“We are watching.”

“Uh no, we are not.”

\--

A storm made its way towards Charleston the night before but the two had just enough time, getting back to the hotel right before it started raining. Tobin brushed her teeth, checking her phone and the unread messages that racked up. She forgot her phone charging in the hotel, leaving it untouched for hours as Christen and Tobin explored Chuck Town.

[2:04 P.M] _Allie: Oh my god._

[2:30 P.M] _Allie: Everything I said last night… It all came back to me._

[2:31 P.M] _Allie: I’m sorry Tobin._

_[7:00 P.M] Allie: I SAID I’M SORRY I know you took off the read receipts just so I don’t see you ignored the texts._

It was almost midnight and she was just now checking her phone which was pretty rare, seeming as though Tobin _always_ has her phone in her hand. This time, she spent the full day without it and didn’t even notice the phone missing.

She started texting out a response before giving up, instinctively pressing the _i_ in the top right hand corner and pressing the blue, little phone icon. It rang maybe three times, Tobin knowing Allie’s moves. Usually, she waits about three rings to make it seem like she wasn’t waiting by the phone for a call by a boy.

“Yes?” It was quick, sort of giving off the agitated vibe right off the start. Tobin chuckled and started kicking her suitcase on the floor softly, not knowing what to do with herself.

“Hello to you too.”

Allie sighed at the response, trying very hard to make the annoyed sound as loud as she could so that her best friend could pick up on the small hints, _apologize._

“I’m sorry. I promise I didn’t do the read receipt trick on you. I just forgot my phone charging…” “You better be.” Allie scoffs, twirling her hair around her forefinger anxiously and letting it fall loosely, plopping down on the couch.

“…Because I felt awful all day thinking that you reaaaally thought it was your fault. I’m sorry, Harry.”

“You know I’m the petty queen right,” Tobin said, kicking off her shoes and laying down on the bed, staring at the bathroom door. Behind it, was Christen showering, also noting that she should be finishing soon. In lieu of detail, she decided that leaving the room once she hears the shower no longer running would be an ideal plan.

“I would’ve left those read receipts on _just_ so you could see I ignored you.”

“You know, I wouldn’t put it past you Harry. You’re worse than me. ANYWAYS, how’s boo _thaaang_ doin’?” She imitated Verse Simmonds perfectly and it actually impressed Tobin enough that she wouldn’t hang up just because she called Christen that.  
“She’s doing great, I think she’s loving it. If only you saw what happened at the market…” She recounted the look in Christen’s eyes when she looked up at her after putting the bracelet around her wrist. She played the moment back in her head, reliving the experience once more.

It was like the things you would see in the movie, where the tourist sees a small item that ends up being significant, valuable. Tobin knew this bracelet was corny, but Christen being that happy was enough to lift Tobin’s spirits up ten feet higher in the air.

“We rode the carriage.”

“No. WAYYY!!” Allie laughed at Tobin, “That’s what old romantics do. Need I remind you who is supposedly not an _old_ romantic?”

“Shut it Ronald.”

Her laugh suddenly disappeared, “Now I know you did that on purpose.”

Tobin giggled at her own daring joke, “I don’t know… Everything felt so—“ She suddenly stopped talking, hopping out of bed immediately once she couldn’t hear the shower running. She quickly took off her shirt and bra, changing into a much bigger UNC long sleeve Tshirt that she picked out of her neatly organized suitcase and some Norts.

“Hold on…” She whispers, slowly opening the door to the room and closing it behind her. She didn’t want Christen to know that being in a room alone with her makes her out of control, that she was still irresistible to Tobin’s eye.

Drawn in by the smallest imperfections and her personality, how her eyes squint with every smile.

She makes Tobin feel like she’s walking on water.

Tobin thought of her in a towel with wet hair, smelling like the pomegranate body wash she uses. Every time she gets out of the shower, her skin is brighter, almost like Christen is glowing. She was happier, invigorated.

The pull she has on Tobin, it was stronger than any type of energy Tobin has ever experienced, magnetic even. And knowing that with one, swift motion, she can make that towel disappear and Christen would be bare right in front of her, the thought was so tempting it frightened Tobin.

She left for about half an hour, talking to Allie about the trip and how much Christen was loving it. Allie wanted her to skip table rock and go straight to Atlanta, thinking that it would be a waste of time when it was colder upstate than it is near the coast.

But it doesn’t even matter because the view at the top, wasn’t like anything she has ever seen before. And that gut feeling urged her to take her anyways, despite the now forty-degree weather in the upstate.

She opened the door, peeking in first as if she was sneaking into a room like the days she would sneak into other teammates rooms knowing it was against the rules. The room was dark and uncanny, unsure of where to step or what to do in that matter. The rain pattered against the large, two windows softly, distant thunder crackling from afar.

_Scary movie time? Could be._

She walked forward slowly until she edged around the corner, seeing a bowl of popcorn next to a figure, both illuminated by the laptop at the end of the bed.

And lying there, was Christen, looking at her with puppy dog eyes, wearing a pair of shorts and a Nike tank similar to the one she had on from the first night the two has ever shared a hotel room. Tobin knew Christen like the back of her hand and that face, that was the “I know you’re gonna say no but just do it anyways” look.

She was up to no good.

Tobin scrunched up her nose, turning the laptop around that was near Christen’s feet and gasped.

“No way.” She says, narrowing her eyes as she challenged the beauty lying on the bed. Christen frowned, “You made me eat shrimp with grits. The LEAST you could do is watch this.”

Tobin crossed her arms across her chest and shifted her weight onto her left leg and huffed out, “It was good.”

“Whatever you say Chris.”

“Not helping your case.”

Christen sighed at the quick shots both of them fired at each other, sliding her legs up the mattress and spreading them a little more.

 _Is this an invite? No, IDIOT, gotdamnit. Look. Away..._ Tobin shook the thought away and continued to awkwardly stand there, looking at the wall behind Christen. She lifted the bowl and put it in her lap, smiling full heartedly at Tobin while she patted the space beside her in a excited manner.

_Just keep pouting, just keep pouting pouting, pouting… Fuck, Dory get out of my head!_

Tobin didn’t notice she started humming the “Keep swimming” song out loud which is probably why Christen tilted her head towards her direction, confusion sweeping across her face. Tobin rolled her eyes and grunted, accepting defeat and sitting down at the edge of her bed, looking at Christen while swinging her legs back and forth.

“Harry Potter after?” She says, quirking one eyebrow up and didn’t budge until Christen said something.  
“As long as it’s the Chamber of Secrets, I’m game.”

Tobin was certain her stomach did cart wheels once she said chamber of secrets, her heart pumping faster at how bizarre that statement sounded coming out of Christen. She squealed, grabbed the laptop and moved over to Christen’s side, resting the laptop on her massive quads.

_She likes Harry Potter, and loves my FAVORITE movie? Meant to be._

“Can we atleast skip the beginning?”

“No.”

\--

_If you’re a bird, I’m a bird._

“Awww…” Christen punched her arm because it was clearly sarcastic just from the way Tobin pointed at the screen.

“Ow, what was that for?!”

Tobin rubbed her arm, waiting for Christen to justify her actions but she just stared at the screen, watching the two kiss in the water. Tobin couldn’t help but look at the smile, staring into Christen’s side.

_Beautiful._

She looked away once she felt Christen turn to look at her. It compelled her to look back at Christen, feeling the pairs of eyes on her, making her heart skip a beat but she refused to do it. Her eyes wondered the familiar face, noting how Tobin’s teeth were clenched from the tightness of her jaw.  The high cheekbones with the perfectly sculpted jawline, her neck that was only showing because Tobin somehow always manages to sweep her hair over to the left side subconsciously.

“This is so—“  

“Cute.” She whispers, still looking into Tobin, feeling that undisputable desire to just kiss her. To just forget about Jimmy who called her multiple times, Christen ignoring each one. She was unsure of what she was feeling, admitting to herself that it wasn’t the movie she was calling cute.

Maybe it was the movie, Christen thought, trying to convince herself that that is the reason why she was unable to take her eyes off of Tobin.

“I was going to say cliché.”

\--

It was first the hand that rested on her upper thigh that rattled Tobin, feeling the heat of Christen’s hand against her leg when they were just beginning the movie. Almost an hour went by into the movie where Noah shows her the house with the blue shutters and takes her out on a canoe. And that was when Christen started to uncomfortably shift from her side to her back.

Christen turned to look at Tobin, “Tobin?”

“Huh…” Tobin was so into the movie, surprisingly, that she turned around unwarranted, too fast, that she didn’t notice that Christen was already looking at her. Their faces were so close, too close. Neither of them able to speak, though Christen was trying hard enough to ask her one simple question.

She missed the most integral part of the movie, eyes drifting to Christen’s lips, wanting to just feel them against her own. Maybe it was the movie, or the rain hitting the window pane setting some type of mood, or the fact that they were too close.

All these thoughts were coursing through Christen’s mind, forcing herself to not look down at those lips. She knows that in a heartbeat, she would lose all of her willpower and strength to fight that urge.

To resist.

 “Yeah?” Tobin’s voice broke in the whisper, breaking the eye contact as well to look at the movie that she now lost complete interest in. The two were now against the house with the blue shutters, clothes completely soaked. She wasn’t even watching – she just wanted to find a way out, to not do anything reckless.

To not let herself let Christen make a mistake and feel the relentless guilt she felt when she let herself be kissed by another woman. That type of guilt doesn’t go away with ease, it sticks onto you like glue, permanently staining your heart.

“You don’t mind if I do this…?”

_Bold moves._

Tobin looked at her and quickly looked back, clearing her throat before she croaked out, “Yeah, sure. No, g-go ahead.”

Christen nudged herself a little closer, their legs now flushed together. She was very certain that Christen heard Tobin gulp nervously when she rested her head against Tobin’s strong shoulder.

Her arm was trapped, Tobin not sure if this is a message from the god above to just wrap her arm around Christen’s back. That move usually opened the doors to a scene of cuddling, slinking further down into the bed just to get in a more comfortable position. Hell, Tobin knew all about it.

Tobin knew _everything._ Right now, she struggled like a freshman boy in highschool taking his girl out to a movie. And that is exactly, how she felt.

Like a nervous, little teenage girl watching a movie with the love of her life.

_Just do it. JUST DO IT!_

Tobin freed her arm and Christen’s head shot up once she felt the irregular movement, “Something wrong?”

“Um…” Tobin stared at the screen and bit her lower lip subconsciously, thinking long and hard of what to say.

“Just come back.”

_Good enough._

She held her arm out, hoping that Christen would get the message. Luckily, she did. Tobin moved her body down just a little more to where it was just her head against the pillow, not her full back.

Christen went onto her side and laid her head into the crook of Tobin’s neck, placing that hand that was once resting on her thigh now on her stomach. She felt the warm breath hit her sweatshirt as the two cuddled, resuming to watch the movie.

“Much better…” She hums, calm and collected throughout the whole love making scene. It made Tobin slightly uncomfortable, because it wasn’t one of those small make out sessions. It was a full scene of just, making… love.  

_Why’d I ever agree to this._

\--

“What, do you want…”

“It’s not that simple.

“Damnit, what-do you want?”

_Holy shit._

The scene was so familiar, _holy shit._

She flashed back to when she chased Christen down that one night where she officially met Alex Morgan at a local bar. Her eyes widened when she realized the striking similarity, wanting to share it with Christen just as a joke.

“Christen.”

Tobin wanted to move but she heard no response coming from the girl. “Christen?” She tries, again, voice dropping to a whisper. She watched the steady fall and rise of Christen’s chest against her side, pausing the movie at the sight.

And right then and there, was Tobin able to hear Christen’s soft, distinct snore.

It wasn’t like Tobin didn’t enjoy the moment. No, she did. She wanted to stay there forever, hold onto the memory like a photograph.

But, she didn’t.

\--

The next morning, Tobin woke up before Christen did. She didn’t notice how untouched the right side of the bed was, still under the impression that Tobin did sleep in the same bed. They left at exactly twelve, eating brunch before they hit the road again. The carride to Greenville was good for about an hour in until Tobin couldn’t handle the classical music or jazz or whatever the hell Christen listens to. She snatched the aux cord and took it out of Christen’s phone that lit up from the action.

_Jimmy: (3) missed calls_

_Ugh._

“What the hell?” Tobin ignored her and plugged the aux in her iPhone, scrolling through the list of music. Christen’s eyes shifted back and forth from the road to the girl sitting next to her.

And finally, she chose a song.

“Bring the BEAT INNN.”

“TOBIN!”

“Honey honeyyy, I can see the stars all the way from here …” Tobin started moving her hips in the car, singing along to the song. Christen was trying to take the phone back but Tobin held it far away from her, wagging her finger at Christen knowing she could see it in the corner of her eye.

“Now everybody asks me why I’m smiling out from ear to eaaar but I knooow… woah-ohWOOOOAH.” Tobin tried to do her best impression of Beyoncé, holding the phone to her lips acting like it’s a microphone.  Christen accepted defeat and tried to pout until a smile slowly started to make its way onto her lips.

She actually felt happy, like the song was speaking to her so she began to bob her head to the song Alex loved most. Luckily, she knew the song all too well not to join in.

“BUT FINALLY you put ME FIRST!” Christen yelled out, gripping the steering wheel harder as she joined in with Tobin who looked at Christen in surprise, laughing. Christen looked back at her and pointed at her, “Baby it’s YOU. You’re the one I love!”

“You’re the one I need!”

“You’re the only one I see.”

“Come on baby it’s you-ooo-oou.” It was a competition, both taking a specific role to the song, switching lines while they were at a standstill because of an accident.  They weren’t singing the song, they were _yelling._ And Tobin had to admit to herself that she chose this song on purpose, knowing the key to every lighting up every carride is Beyoncé.

“You’re the one that gives your all—“

“You’re the one I can always call, when I need you make everything stop.”

“FINALLY, you put my love on top.” Christen started laughing, racking one hand on top of the other like she was stacking books on top of each other, repeating the motion before dancing to the beat of the song.

_1 point for Gryffindor!_

\--

“No way… Is this the place?”

“Yep.”

Christen leaned closer into the steering wheel, eyeing the large mountains in the distance.

“Woooow…”

She could count two mountains, one clearly higher than the other. She was glad she took Tobin’s advice by packing warmer clothes and a pair of solid running shoes.

“That is beautiful…”  
“Anddd we are going to hike it.”

“What?” Christen stopped the car and started to panic, “I-I didn’t bring any of my hiking gear. How do you e-expect me to SURVIVE and—“

Tobin groaned, “Reeelax it’s not a bad hike. I promise.”

“You promise?”  
“I promise.”

\--

“I hate you.”

Three hours into the hike and Christen wanted to kill her. The wind was hitting Tobin’s face and she was fine with it, but Christen wasn’t. She was only used to the warm air of California and the small breeze, rarely any mud from how dry the land was. The few waterfalls they passed by would have been nice if they weren’t _frozen_ over.

“How much longer…”

“For someone who loves hiking, you sure do complain a lot.” Tobin stepped over a fallen tree branch, drinking from her camelbak bottle. Christen snatched the water bottle and shivered, drinking the rest of the water. This trail, was probably the most difficult one she had to hike. It was hard to breathe in as they climbed upwards, altitude taking a good toll on her with the cold bite of the wind.

She got a little lightheaded but managed to weakly punch Tobin through her northface and sweatshirt underneath. Her lungs felt like they were burning from breathing in the cold air, smelling the firewood at the same time which wasn’t all that bad.

_God, I miss California. God, my lips are so chapped. God, why’d I ever do this._

“You didn’t answer my…” Her voice disappeared once the sight of a _huge, naked rock,_ stretched across the two of them appeared in front of her. Tobin stepped onto this massive, clear slab of rock and turned around, looking at Christen who was completely shocked. She was no longer cold, no longer tired, and her lungs felt completely normal.

The view was absolutely breathtaking in Christen’s eyes, nothing like she’s seen before in California. She didn’t know they have been hiking for just three hours, feeling like it was six. She took a step onto the large rock, for some reason feeling like it’s going to fall. “Tobin…” Christen walked past Tobin, looking at the land below her filled with evergreens, seeing some of fall’s leftover colors in some areas, getting to the very edge. The three hour hike in the end, was worth it. She turned around and started walking back, “This is beautiful.”

 _Except that’s not the view I’m looking at._ Tobin walked over to where Christen stood, scoping out every angle of the view. It was like a 270 degree angle of the world, seeing everything. There were no birds and no one else on the peak of the mountain.

It was just the two of them.

And well, distant clouds.

“I feel like I’m ontop of the world.”

“See that right there?” Tobin pointed out into the distance towards another mountain, “That’s about three hours away east of where we live. I hiked it once.”

It wasn’t close but it didn’t feel far either, seeing the peak of the mountain. It felt similar to the Grand Canyon but filled with trees. It never ceased to amaze Christen at how small she felt at that moment, seeing the world right infront of her eyes, feeling like a spec in a universe.

Tobin brought out a thermos and Christen looked at it confused, “Why did you bring that. We aren’t leaving soon?”

She shook her head and sat down on the massive rock, extending her legs out all the way before taking out two more cups out of her book bag. Christen sat down next to her, rubbing her hands together fast to create some type of friction. Tobin’s hand clearly shook as she poured the hot drink into the cup, _hot cocoa._

Christen took the cup, thanking Tobin for being so smart. She didn’t know how she managed to make hot cocoa in the morning. Let alone, the drink staying this hot after five and a half hours.

She took one sip and moaned at the bitter sweetness, _God, I love you._ She smacked on her lips before taking one deep breath in, smelling adventure. Tobin was quiet the entire time until her head whipped to the right, looking at Christen.

_Wait, did I say that out loud?_

“What?”

“Nothing, sorry. You just caught me off guard,” Tobin looked ahead and took one quick sip while looking out into the distance, “Oh, we made it just in time.”

Christen was still looking at Tobin, trying to analyze her reaction from before, “For?”

Tobin grinned and looked back at Christen, nodding her head to the left.

“That.”

Her head turned towards the direction that Tobin pointed toward with her head, taken aback completely. First, it was blue with a red sun behind the horizon that’s covered with trees. The sun was now brighter, becoming more like a red-orange, slowly taking over the dark blue skies.

Tobin wasn’t looking at the sunset with Christen but at Christen, enjoying every moment. The wind blew softly against Christen’s face, not bothering her at all. She leaned forward, enjoying every moment, not even touching her hot chocolate.

Ten minutes passed by and now red took over the whole horizon, fading just enough at the top into a light orange then back to navy blue. Not one word was said during the sunset, Tobin finally deciding to break the silence ten minutes later.

“We should probably go.”  
“Wait.”

Tobin got up and bent down to put the thermos back in her UNC issued bookbag, “It’s going to get dark and much harder to—“ She turned around to continue talking but face to face with Christen. She just didn’t hear any type of movement coming from the other end, at all.

She didn’t expect to see Christen’s face this close, her right side lit up by the sun. 

Her feet were planted on the rock, suddenly feeling too heavy to move and no longer feeling cold but hot. But, her lungs became heavier, struggling to breath normally by just being close enough to feel Christen’s rugged breath. Inside, Tobin tried to blame it on the altitude rather than the proximity but she was only fooling herself. She closed her eyes at the feeling of Christen’s arms wrapping around her neck, burrowing her face into crook of Tobin’s neck and giving her a tight hug.

“Promise me something else.”

Christen lifted her head off Tobin’s body and now leaned her forehead against Tobin’s, who kept her eyes closed. She refused to ignore the feeling of everything feeling normal this time, like the two never broke up.

Like the night with Elena never happened.

Like Jimmy never existed. It was wrong, Christen knew it was. She also knew before she even took this trip that he wasn’t the right one for her. That, she chose him not because of love but because he’s that safety net.

Almost like Allie with James Marsden’s character. But the right one was always, with Noah Calhoun.

“Promise me this is forever.”

Anytime she was with Christen, it was nothing but a dream.

It sure did feel like a dream, like Christen was asking her to break things off with the NFL player behind that promise. Like the promise meant more than just happiness, but reassurance.

That Tobin will never break her heart again.

And will always make her feel like she was on top of the world.

“I promise.”

\--

The hike back down was much shorter than the hike going up. It was easier, faster, but colder since the sun went down. Even Tobin was cold, unable to handle the cold gusts of wind. After making their way back down and arguing back and forth, they settled on the first motel they found. They felt grimy, in dire need of a shower. Tobin tried to back out of the idea, pushing for a different motel but Christen didn’t want to, too tired to drive around for a decent inn.

Tobin showered first, putting on clothes in the simple restroom out of respect and so did Christen, making sure not to overstep her boundaries. While waiting, Tobin did basically… Nothing. She was hungry, tired, and bored.

She heard the shower cut off but she went out, taking her wallet with her.

“Always, has to be a vending machine of some sort…” She walked around, hugging herself while walking around with shorts and a sweatshirt. She packed nothing but shorts, not expecting herself to be out in the middle of the night trying to find some food.

“THANK GOD…” She scurried towards the vending machine that was around the corner and looking at the selection. She heard something behind her, whipping around to see if there was someone behind her but there was nothing but darkness and a flickering light above her.

_Jesus, right off of H.P… Pork Rinds, ew. Popcorn, ooo yasssss. Hostess cupcakes or donuts._

“Donuts.” She stood there struggling to put the cold change into the outdated vending machine, swearing that she heard something behind her again. She managed to get two packs before she sprinted back to the room, closing the door behind her, “Sheesh…”

“Thought you left me—“  
“AHHH!” Both of them jumped at the shrill scream coming from Tobin who brought her hand up to her chest, “I’m sorry. I swear something was behind me?”

Christen looked at her and then the donuts, “Why is it always Donuts with you?”

“It was that or Pork Rinds, _ungrateful_.” She played with the word, sounding it out like Drake did and started dancing like him. Christen shielded her eyes playfully, “Stop, my eyes.”

“Yeah yeah…” She threw one pack towards her direction and jumped on the bed. Christen followed the action, lying down on her side next to Tobin who did the same thing, turning to her side to face Christen.

“So, what are we going to do next?” She asks quizzically, popping one donut in her mouth, not realizing how huge the donut was relative to her mouth. Tobin ate half of a donut slowly, “Not tellin ya.”

“Why not?” She says, voice muffled by the donut. Tobin looked at Christen’s face, unable to take her serious with the white powder that managed to make its way on her nose and below it.

"Because you might complain."

Christen was about to argue back but stopped with Tobin starting to take action. She placed her donuts to the side and leaned forward, looking into Christen’s eyes then switching towards her lips, who just swallowed the rest of the donut in silence. The closer Tobin’s hand got to Christen, the more her heart sped up. She brushed away the sugar off the tip of her nose with her thumb.

Tobin’s hand was cold, cupping the side of Christen’s face. She leaned into Tobin’s touch, not stopping Tobin from extending her thumb all the way towards the powder. She wasn’t watching her thumb brush away the powder to make sure she doesn’t get near her lips, she was watching Christen lick her lips slowly, from left to right, her mouth parting slightly.

She wanted to just kiss her right then and there.

Kiss away the sugar and feel her tongue against hers and not against the lips of an angel. Kiss her until she lost her breath and everything around them starts becoming a blur.

“You’ve got… crap,” Her thumb swiped the remaining bits off her face as she whispered the words, “On your face.”

Christen forgot to breathe, exhaling out and moving onto her back just as a precaution, “Now I don’t want to eat it.”

“Fine, I’ll eat it.” Tobin took the pack from Christen’s hands who snatched it right back, “You should know better than to take food from a hangry woman.”

She laughed at her own joke, “Hangry, get it? Hungry and Angry, at the same time?”

“The oldest word in the book, Chris.”

“Not in my book, It’s quite new, actually.” She says with a wink and a click of her tongue before popping another in her mouth. They ate their donuts and talked for hours, laughing through the shivers at the stories the two told back and forth about their adventures on different trails or families.

Christen fell asleep first -- with her head-on Tobin’s chest, her arm locked around the other girl’s stomach. Tobin didn’t move because it was too cold, needing the heat from Christen’s body which was unnaturally hot. She was frozen in place, hearing the soft snore again that didn’t bother her at all, not taking in the idea of moving onto the floor.

She just couldn’t do it this time.

And slowly but surely, Tobin drifted off to sleep, not caring whether she was on the floor or in Christen’s arms. All that mattered was that she made a promise that she was fully intending on keeping.

\--

They woke up late despite going to sleep before midnight and Tobin freaked out. She had a very specific timeline for Atlanta, waking up a little before noon was a huge mistake.

“We need to get dressed like, right now.” She says, hurrying into the bathroom.

Christen jumped up in bed, rubbing her eyes to rid them of sleep. Her voice was groggy and her hair was everywhere, literally pointing in every direction. She looked in the mirror infront of her and her eyes widened from the view. She quickly got up on her knees and crawled towards the end of the bed.

_Sweet Christmas Christen._

_S_ he ran her fingers through her hair quickly, keeping her ear out for the running water. She pinched her cheeks at the top to bring some type of color to her face, afraid that Tobin may have seen her at her worst.

_What the hell am I doing?_

She got off the bed and rummaged through her suitcase, finding a lacy black pushup bra and a grey sweater, throwing it on with a pair of leggings.

_Never have gotten dressed this fast, good job Chris, really. Ugh, stay focused!._

She heard the water stop and she rushed towards the mirror again, wanting to check herself out one more time but made a full U-turn towards her suitcase once she heard the door fling open. It was to play it off as if it seemed like Christen didn’t care as much with how she looked around Tobin.

_I think it worked?_

“Wait, take that off.”

Christen turned around and asked why, Tobin not saying a word but pulling out two shirts, throwing one at her.

No, not a shirt, but a jersey.

_A Falcons jersey?_

“A Falcons jersey?”

~

Tobin kicked the ball through Christen’s legs and covered her face, “That’s embarrassing Chris, really.” Christen trapped the ball and put her hands on her hips, “Don’t try me Heath.”

Tobin took one step back with her arms out, smirking at Christen, challenging her.

“Oh I want to try you Ms.Press.”

Christen looked around though there was nobody on the beach, “Seriously?”

It’s been awhile since she’s touched a ball but her handles were exquisite, something she couldn’t lose touch with no matter how hard she tried.

“Hit me with your best shot.” She says, smiling even harder as she signaled Christen to try to come at her with her hands, going down into a defensive position. Christen rolled the ball forward against the wet sand, just enough to create some room for a trick she could do in her sleep.

Tobin made sure her legs weren’t spread apart for her to get nutmegged, Christen faking left to try to create that opening.

“Baby you’re going to have to spread those legs for me one way or another.” Christen bit her lip and released slowly, toying with the girl in front of her, _an eye for an eye._ Tobin’s eyes were no longer narrowing in on the ball but on Christen’s face, taking one step closer.

“Oh?” Her hand reached for Christen’s hip to pull her in closer, shook by the words enough to forget there’s a goal behind Christen’s words. The advisor chopped the ball through her large step and Tobin closed her eyes, laughing at how bad she got played.

“There…” Christen was the one to pull her in by the waist, wasting no time to kiss Tobin, forgetting to stop smiling. Tobin’s lips were sweet and salty, partially because of her chapstick and the mist from the Atlantic Ocean. She parted her lips just enough to suck some of sweetness out of Tobin’s bottom lip, biting it playfully as she pulled back.

“Oh no, you can’t go off that easy.” Tobin wanted to kiss her again, her hand reaching up to cup Christen’s cheek as she leaned in but Christen took two steps back quickly before twisting her upper body and took off in the opposite direction towards her car parked just outside the beach.

The knee brace messed her up and getting to the untouched sand slowed her down enough for Tobin to catch up to her, sprinting as fast as she could. Christen starting laughing out loud when she heard the steps closing in on her.

The deep steps into the dry sand didn’t stop Tobin from reaching forward and pull Christen down, Tobin laughing hysterically as she fell ontop of her. There was sand all over Christen’s face and hair, both of them turning red from how much they were laughing.

“You really thought you could beat me?” Tobin mused through her labored breaths, focusing only on how Christen threw her head back, laughing at herself. She straddled Christen from the hips, pressing her upper body down into Christen’s heaving chest.

“Nooo, No…” Christen giggles in between each word, brushing away some of the sand that was on Tobin’s cheeks with her thumb smiling, “I wanted you to catch me.”

“All lies just so that you can tell yourself I’m not faster than you.” Tobin gibed through her smile, pushing away the loose hairs covering Christen’s face.

“You are,” She agreed and bit her lip after, “You’re definitely fast Tobin. But not in the case of running…” Tobin’s mouth went from a wide smile to a wide O, feeling that Jab Christen just took hit her square in the nose.

“I’m KIDDING.” Tobin pushed herself off of Christen’s shoulder, the advisor pulling her back down laughing, “I’m kidding. I’m just trying to get you to take the hint that I really… Really… Really.”

Tobin quirked one eyebrow up, waiting for Christen to continue, but Christen just leaned up and into Tobin’s ear, “Want you out those clothes.” She smiled again into Tobin’s ear, confidently planting one open kiss just below her ear before pulling away. Tobin felt her gears shift inside her like clockwork, getting off of the girl and extending her arm out to the girl below her.

“Is that all you want?” She queried when the two made their way to Christen’s car, both at opposite ends of the car. Christen around her car, “I mean right now? Yes. I definitely want you out the clothes.”  
They both got into the car and Christen turned the car on, turning down the music almost instantly.

“But something I’ve always wanted… Hmmm, it’s going to a 49ers game.”

Tobin crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Christen as if she was a puzzle, “You’re telling me you’ve lived in California for twenty two years of your life and never went to a football game?”

Christen shrugged and looked at her camera as she reversed, “Guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

~

 “No way.”

“Yes way.”

“No, freaking. WAY!” Christen jumped out the passenger side of the seat and looked at the stadium, people dressed in gold and red while some in red and black. Christen wanted to rip off her jersey and steal someone else’s jersey but she looked at Tobin who held the two tickets in her hand.

“How did you remember something so insignificant?”

_Can’t forget the best times of my life._

“I have a good memory?” She countered, Christen nudging her once before hooking her arm around  They walked towards their gate that lead them to their seats, which by the way, wasn’t in the decks high up in the air or near the corners.

It was on the _first_ level, so close to football field. Everyone was already seated and it was a _packed_ house, every seat taken. Everyone was happy, including Christen. She never thought that Tobin can remember such small snippets of their past and make her wishes become a reality.

Tobin leaned in to start whisper screaming into Christen’s left ear, “I know you’re playing professional Soccer again and high chances are you’ll get back on the national squad.”

She leaned away and went back in one more time, “So I figured you wouldn’t have the time to go to a game, so why not now?”

“How could you afford it!” She screamed back, looking around her and seeing all the jerseys with the number eleven and two, “You didn’t have to Tobin!”

She found the tickets online and got lucky with them. They were expensive, no doubt, but she asked her dad to pitch in a sum amount of money as well as Allie. In the end, it all worked out.

“You’re right.” Tobin said earnestly, looking directly at Christen who stared right back, wanting to hear this answer.

“I didn’t have to. But I wanted to. Besides, I have a promise to keep.” She winked at Christen who stood there, her jaw almost dropping at how sincere Tobin is.

How thoughtful she could be.

She said thank you once the whole stadium roared to life, rising once the smoke and fire appeared from the opposite end of the Stadium. Tobin joining in, couldn’t catch the words that were said.

For some reason, even though she wasn’t a Falcons fan, she felt that adrenaline course through her veins, remembering the feeling she would get when she entered the field during the world cup.

All these feelings.

All because of one girl.

Tobin, Heath.

\--

Airport goodbyes were always the worst. She did it with Alex and now, she was doing it with Tobin. She knew she was going to see her again but in three months and she knew, three months was barely a wait with Soccer. She had the same suitcase and the same carry on she came into North Carolina and now, out back to her home.

Home didn’t feel like home though. Home for her wasn’t Seattle with Alex or Cali with her family, it was with Tobin. It took her a full month and almost two with Jimmy for her to realize this.

“Remember what I said, I meant it Chris.” Tobin stuffed her hands in her pockets, looking down at her feet when she said this, “I’ll wait for however long you need.”

_Three months._

“I know.” Christen placed her carry on down the familiar airport and leaned in to give her a soft, patient kiss on Tobin’s cheek. Tobin looked up, her caramel eyes pleading with Christen not to go.

 For some reason, Meredith Grey confessing to McDreamy to pick her, love her, choose her flashed into her mind. She wanted to say it but didn’t, respecting Jimmy until this very moment. Her gut was telling her that this trip, this so called “operation”, was a success.

She didn’t know what to say so she wrapped her strong arms around Christen’s waist, tightening the hug. She felt a tear escape her eyes, wiping it away and sniffling while at it. It was the first time since that night, that felt like a year ago, Tobin cried.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“Stop.” Christen pulled away from her, “I’ll see you again.”

Tobin took one step back and held her hand out like she was going to give a high five to Christen, who was about to high five her until she saw two fingers separate into a V.

_Oh my god, she just didn’t._

“Goodbye.”

“Okay Spock.”  
Tobin sniffled again, “What, you’re not going to do it too?”

Christen’s head fell, eyes scanning to her left and then to her right. She brought up her free hand and did the same thing, “Why are you such a nerd?”

“A cute nerd," She corrected, "Say it back.”

Christen’s head shot up as well as her eyes, taking a few steps back because she needed to board her flight and go through TSA.

“This isn’t goodbye, Cute nerd.”

Tobin felt like a weight had just been lifted off of her shoulders, staring at Christen speechless. Christen turned to give the TSA agent her carry-on bag and she looked towards Tobin’s direction, the girl still standing in the same spot.

This time, smiling.

_It never was, Tobin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Story is actually coming to an end. Haven't decided on what the last chapter will be yet... As always, comment your thoughts or criticism (I'm good at taking blows lol). Or don't. Whichever.


	12. Draft Day

“MAAAA!” Tobin ran down the stairs in her cleats and sprinted towards her mom, jumping on the couch next to her.

“I need HELP, I hate tying these shoes. I’m going to be late!”

“They’re not shoes, they are cleats, for fourteenth time.”

Her mom sighed and patted her legs, Tobin hopping on instantly. Cheesing, as she threw her legs onto her mother’s legs and lied down on the couch. She drummed her small fingers on her stomach as she impatiently waited, “All the candy is going to be gone at this rate.”

“You’re only ten and already giving me lip young lady, what has gotten into you.”

“I’m sorrrry, just hurry up.”

Her mom whipped her head around and quirked one eyebrow up, testing her.

“Please?” Young Tobin quickly improvised her way out of a messy situation, smiling again because that’s what always got her out of trouble.

A year ago, she got caught taking erasers of other children only to collect them. Her mom never bought her any of the nice, soccer ball erasers or basketballs so she took others, stashing them in her cubby behind a jacket she stuffed in there on purpose.

Young Tobin was smarter than the teacher thought, but she ended up getting caught red handed with over a dozen erasers. All she did was give her the biggest smile she could possibly muster, apologizing and asking her not to tell her mom.

In the end, the teacher did tell her mom because that’s what they do, “Tattle tale” as Tobin muttered in the parent teacher conference. But she did the same with her mom after they got home, smiling at her and apologizing, getting out of being grounded for such an “incredulous” act.

Words of her mom.

“You couldn’t be a Princess, or a fairy even?” Tobin stuck her tongue out and shook her head in disgust, “Maaa you know better, I want to be like—“

“Mia Hamm, I know sweet pea. But this has been your outfit for three years.”

“Nope. And I was Ronaldhinhoooo two yeaaaars ago.” She says, popping her P and extending her vowels to defend her case.

“Tobin, not nope, No. Manners young lady. Atleast untuck your jersey?”

Tobin frowned, looking down at her oversized shorts and oversized USA jersey, “Ma this is how she wore it. With the—“

“High socks and big shorts with a ponytail, I knoooow.” She tied the last shoe and looked at her daughter with sincerity, “I love you Toby-Bear.”

She hugged her and Tobin tried to wiggle out but couldn’t, “Ma I hate hugssss. AND I HATE THAT NAME!”

“Yeah well, deal with it.”

Her mother didn’t say anything else, making Tobin upset.

“I’m not a kid, that name makes me feel like one.”

“You will always be my little girl, remember that Toby…”

~

Christen

Dogs.

They’re high maintenance but were always worth every penny for Christen. They always came through when Christen needed a solid cuddling session or when she was sad. They were always there for her.

Leaving Ace behind broke her heart, not wanting to bring him onto the airplane with her because it can traumatize them. Packed away in a dark cargo hold of a commercial jet, temperatures can fluctuate easily and she can’t imagine what altitude can do to an animal.

Once Christen got situated on the plane, she pulled out her phone. She instinctively went into her conversation with Tobin, fingers typing away without thinking.

**Christen [2:01 PM] Are you sure your family is okay with taking on Ace?**

Her thumbs tapped anxiously as the three dots appeared right when she delivered the message.

**Tobin [2:01 PM] My little brother always wanted a pup. And he’s potty trained thanks to you!**

She felt the weight release off her chest, happy with the idea of her little brother being best friends with her pup. Christen had one dog throughout her entire childhood, passing away just before her homecoming dance.

She remembered the time spent with the old dog in her blue homecoming dress, soothing the dog that rested on the cold metal table. Crying, as she watched her own golden retriever who protected her since she was a baby being put down. It was either that, or let her best friend be in pain every minute of the day.

Cancer’s a bitch.

That, out of all the heartbreaks that Christen has endured, was probably the one that hurt her the most. She can still feel the pain from that day like it happened yesterday. Not feeling the warmth of the side of the bed where Riley slept next to her, or waking up to him nudging her to wake up for her morning run and his at six on the dot.

She hated change.

But sometimes, change is a good thing.

**Christen [2:11 PM] Good, I know. Plane’s taking off.**

It was like Tobin waiting by the phone, response coming in faster than lightning.

**Tobin [2:11 PM] Let me know when you land! Miss you already:)**

She just pictured Tobin’s smile, **I miss you too:)**

Tobin squealed at the text and wanted to text her back but she had to leave it simple and sweet.

**Alex Morgana [2:11 PM] CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU!**

Christen put her white beats on over her ears, blocking out all the sound. Scrolling through her playlists that she has made over time, the one that she chose was an old one. The one that she made on Apple music for the long plane rides she took during her seasons at Chicago.

_Start of something new._

\--

Tobin

“I made it! See you on the other side;)” was the last text she had seen from Christen. A few “Hey, I hope you’re doing well, train hard.” Here and there never counted in Tobin’s eyes. Those conversations were bland, nothing like the ones that used to flow naturally every day.

Black and white.

That’s how Tobin saw the world once Christen left. There was no color, nothing.

Her life basically revolved around just, training.

Two weeks passed by with the two of them barely talking. It wasn’t intentional ofcourse, Tobin and Christen both having to train day in and day out for the camp made it hard for them to focus on anything considered a part of their “social” lives.

It was like one day was put on repeat for the both, having a strict guideline to follow. In the morning, Tobin would weight train for two hours and then watch tape of the women who represent America in the best way.

She pictured herself in Megan Rapinoe’s position, idolizing her deadly accuracy and speed as she watched Rapinoe sprint towards the opposite corner and putting a good ball in just for Christen to rip it with her weak foot.

Megan Rapinoe was one of the female players that Tobin wished to be, dreaming to be just as effective as her on the field. And to know, that she’s now playing _with_ her? To learn from her, Tobin still couldn’t believe it.

She didn’t want to play like her though… Not anymore, atleast.

She wanted to be better.

Tobin knew that there was going to be competition for the starting spot between the two once Megan gets out of rehab for her torn ACL. Which by the way, she was cleared to be a part of the 30-man roster in the camp.

Three spots were open on the roster, since Heather O’Reilly left, Abby retiring, Sydney with a baby, they were in dire need of three fillers.

There were 29 spots that were already filled at camp, one empty at the very bottom. It confused Tobin but she paid no mind to it. All she focused on was studying the forwards and the way they run. She kept noticing one thing – they knew _exactly_ how to move with Rapinoe and what to expect from the elite athlete.

The midfielders, noting the ball movement and how they were always on the same page with Rapinoe. That was the problem, the best players on the field that played the longest also played with Rapinoe from the start.

Look at Alex Morgan, Rapinoe was basically there with her from the start. Christen even, Rapinoe was there. Carli Lloyd, Kelley O’Hara, and even Ali Krieger have all played with her from the start. Who by the way, Tobin had the biggest crush on her until she found out that Ashlyn couldn’t keep her keeper paws off her. I mean who could blame her, Ali was a _goddess._

Welp, now you guys know that Tobin Heath did indeed have the Krieger Fever, for a long time.

She couldn’t help but admit that they were definitely in the top two of the list when it comes to the cutest couples out there. One being, her and Christen. Duh. Even Tobin listed herself at number one of the list because she knew that her and Christen were goals.

The goals of goals.

Anyways-- with Tobin’s deep research done in google, she found out that she even played for the best league in France. Where legends are legit made. I mean, tack that onto the long, strong ass list of accomplishments for one of the oldest players on the USW national team.

The experience and Chemistry was already there. And Tobin just knew that starting from scratch wasn’t going to help her fight for the starting position.

The competitive edge broke through Tobin’s surface, taking the weight training serious and going ten times harder than she normally does.

She wants to get stronger.

Faster than Rapinoe.

Better than Rapinoe.

They even call her Rapinohdinho.

 _Please,_ Tobinohdinho sounds fourty times better.

It felt too real for Tobin, catching herself smiling on many different occasions for no reason. I mean, who would’ve ever thought that you get to play soccer with the love of your life? Maybe even send one in just like Rapinoe to her and score a perfect goal.

The idea of playing on the same pitch as her and not some sandy beach seemed to always pop up on her mind, her mood becoming buoyant and optimistic, less broody.

After hitting the weights and film room, Tobin would train her body vigorously, increasing her endurance levels and explosiveness on the field. Afterwards, she would do cryotherapy for recovery or hit the sauna to cut weight. In just two weeks, she brought her body fat percentage down from eighteen percent to sixteen. Her VO2 Max level rating increased from 66.3 to 69.4, which was a huge success in Tobin’s eyes.

The numbers are so small but so significant, showing that Tobin got stronger, leaner, and all the endurance training she has done every two days in the past two weeks paid off. She trained her lungs, her muscles, her mind, and her feet all at once.

Every damn day.

No doubt, she knew she had more work to put in, especially in strength. And she was determined to be the best in that camp, to outwork Rapinoe and outshine the stars.

Because now, it was her time.

\--

 “Tobin, you need to hurry the hell up. We’re going to miss our flight at 4.” Tobin sighed and looked at her phone one more time, wanting to text Christen but she didn’t. Instead, she found solace in looking at old messages.

**Tobin: Jalapenos and Pineapples or sausage and vegetables?**

**Christen: Jalapenos, Duh!**

**Tobin: Wish you were a goalie.**

**Christen: Huh? Why.**

**Tobin: Well because, I’ve always wanted to say you’re a keeper.**

**Christen: Awww Toooobin, I never took you for the corny type.**

She read the texts slowly, smiling when remembering how her heart raced and her antsy fingers erased a good attempt to tease.

**Tobin: Tell me if I’m being a bit too forward, but I think I won me a trophy.**

“That’s all that I came up with?” She scoffs, shaking her head.

**Christen: NOOOO stop!!!  
Tobin: Do you play soccer?**

**Christen: Tobin.**

**Tobin: Answer the question.**

**Christen: Yes…**

**Tobin: Because I think I’m going to score tonight;)**

_Yassss Queen_

**Christen: HAAAA that was good LOL**

**Tobin: I can go 90 minutes without stopping.**

**[8:31 P.M] Christen: See no that just ruined everything. That was bad.**

**[8:37 P.M] Christen: Damn, that actually worked.**

_Saaaacore._

She started remembering that night too, neither one of them touching the pizza with Christen greeting her with a kiss as perfect as Ali Krieger’s brother’s hair (And yes, he has perfect hair!!). Right when Tobin put the pizza down on the counter, Christen never gave her a chance to regroup at the bedroom, pinning Tobin against the countertop.

I mean you could say that those pickup lines really did a number on Christen.

 _“Let’s see if you can last an hour with me…”_ Tobin shivered at the thought of Christen kissing the tip of her ear again, whispering things that had the weight of all bad intentions behind them.

And that was a night that seemed to have been a marathon for the both of them. First, going at it in the kitchen then the couch and then the bed.

Ofcourse, let’s not forget the shower, Tobin’s favorite memory of that night. Christen did some things to her that _she_ didn’t even know she was capable of doing--  like a novice suddenly turning into a professional at giving pleasure to Tobin in all the right ways.

Dream big, her mom used to always say, because dreams do come true.

“I hope you’re right ma.”

 “TOBIN!”

“I’m COMING!” She yells out, grabbing her suitcase and making her way out the door keeping her eye on her phone, “Ughhh-I told you I was coming…”

Once she stepped out to the apartment, Allie popped out the dark corner screaming startling Tobin half to death. She jumped so high, throwing her phone up high in the process, going into a defensive prowl-like position.

“WHY.”

“I had to get you back, that’s why. And ever since you and Christen started talking again, you’ve been hella distant.”

Tobin winced at the words, looking away to not send any messages towards her best friend that could read her like a book meant for children. That’s how easy it was for anyone, of that matter, to read Tobin’s reactions.

“Have you, been talking?”

Tobin itched her hair in dire need of something to do with her hands, or something to hide her face. She chose her hair to cover her face from letting Allie see her blush, “No, I haven’t.”

“Ohhhh you creeeeeeper, reading old texts. Sexts? Nuuuudes?”

“No you—Harry, I just… I miss her. That’s all. And Christen was never the type to send pictures of herself like that.”

“Awww, do you need a wittle huuug?”

Tobin was so surprised, expecting Allie to be a little more solemn and less… chipper, with the bad news of her not getting called up.

Allie lunged forward and Tobin ducked just in time to move to the other end of the den. Tobin was so serious, pointing finger trying to signal Allie to stop because she knew what was coming.

Allie was trapping her, her long arms extended out as she took big steps towards Tobin, “BEAR HUG!”

“Don’t, stop. No. NO!”

She sprinted towards Tobin who had nowhere to go who just accepted defeat and let Allie hug her tightly, “I will never understand why you don’t like these hugs.”

“I don’t need—“ Allie hugged her tighter when Tobin tried one more time to break free but failed, her arms falling gracefully to her sides.  
“Shhh.”

“Seriously, we’re gonna be—“ She hugged her even tighter, Tobin now feeling like her ribs were about to pop out of place, “I can’t—“

It was like the moments in the cartoon Tom and Jerry, where Tom’s eyes would pop out when he was frantically chasing after Jerry. That’s how Tobin felt like-- her eyes literally feeling like they were going to pop out of their sockets. In this case, Allie was the cat and well… Tobin was the mouse.

“Shhhhhh.”

“I can’t… breathe.” She felt Allie relax enough to where Tobin had some wiggle room. But she never left, her arms snaking around Allie’s waist and hugged her back, “I miss her.”

 “I know you do.”

\--

Christen

2200 6th avenue #110

Coming back to Seattle was about as warm as Christen expected, first spending a week in Cali with her family, training when she could, and then moving back with Alex into her new apartment. She never told Jimmy that she was back, somewhat fearing the idea of catching up with him.

Moreso, hurting such a kind soul.

Christen found herself in front of his large, apartment complex, standing there in her army green skinny jeans with black combat boots. She looked good when she didn’t even try, wearing a sheer white, loose vneck that exposed some cleavage. Completely, unintentional by the way.

Her hair was naturally down, humid weather of the dampened day going into the sweet night of Seattle, her hair pretty much exploded at this point. I mean, she still rocked the look.

She went into the fancy lobby of the high ended building that seemed to have been made of glass. It was too modern, grey floors with black pillars along the sides and marble floors. She had to text Jimmy to let her up, and he did.

The longest elevator ride up to the 41st floor gave her a good enough amount of time for her to figure out what to say to him. But it was too fast, too smooth for her to notice that the elevator doors opened in front of her, too deep in thought to see the beautifully sculpted man standing right infront of her.

“Hey-Wow…Beautiful place.”

“Beautiful place, but beautiful girl.”

He had two glasses of wine in one hand, a bottle of Chateau Margaux in the other. Christen giving him a closed smile and a soft kiss on the cheek, “I didn’t know you were back in town! I would’ve grilled us some steak and had a blast! But I’m glad you’re here baby, really.”

Christen internally groaned at the distinctive word Tobin would use when she begged her to do something she never wanted to do. But all she did was smile, “I’m good on the wine thank you.”

He put the glasses down on the black marble countertop and soon after, the wine bottle followed. He gave her a tight, warm hug that felt so… That is supposed to feel homelike, secure… but felt strange to Christen. He squeezed her lightly and ushered her inside the well-crafted room.

He’s promised her to cook her dinner before at his place which was honestly, dating 101. Knowing that the result was supposed to be more than just dinner, she just ignored the text and changed topics.

So really, it was her first time ever here. Him mentioning through text that he was finally making the big move into Insignia, a new complex in Seattle, was the only reason why she could find him at his own place.

“Well, sit down!” He ushered her into the living room with a big smile. A living room, that has an open view of all of Seattle lit up. He was wearing a semi-tight green Seahawks Nike shirt that wasn’t meant to be tight on him but it sure was, in all the right places. Christen could pretty much make out every single ab underneath that shirt and his triceps were so defined when he reached forward to grab the bottle again, something Christen always liked seeing in a man was how defined his arms were.

And man, were his arms defined. He’s never worn anything very tight before, keeping his physique hidden behind an Armani tux. She cleared her throat and rubbed the back of her neck, “How’ve you been taking the loss to the Falcons?”

Humble man, kind, conservative.

_I don’t even deserve you._

“Talking Football Ms. Press to a football player is not nice…”

She tilted her head and he laughed, “Yeah-h-h we deserved it. They wanted it more.”

He was about to pop open the bottle of expensive wine before Christen stopped him, “It’s a 2009, there’s really no neeeeed to open up a-okay… nevermind.”

“Nonsense, you’re here.”

“Yeah but why I’m here is… Isn’t to celebrate Jimmy, or to catch up.”

It started raining again and he put the bottle aside, giving her a funny look. He could kind of sense the sadness coming from her voice and he wasn’t dumb either. She couldn’t keep any eye contact with him after she said that, eyes down in her lap.

“What’s… going on, Chris?”

Ever since that day on the mountain, those nights shared in hotel rooms, she hasn’t been the same. She’s been carrying this heavy guilt around, like she cheated on him but she never did.

_Maybe I did._

She couldn’t do it anymore, she felt absolutely nothing to a man who has been nothing but good to her and felt everything towards Tobin. Her own body guided her towards his place, her mind trying to send her messages about this guy.

“Before I met you, I was with this girl…we were together for a little over five months, months that seemed like years…”

He chuckled nervously and reached out to put his hand on Christen’s thigh, “Where are you going with this?”

“I’m getting there,” She laughs hastily before continuing, her smile disappearing and her eyes this time focusing in on Jimmy, “I made a mistake. We made mistakes. And it started off by me asking you to be my plus one.”

Jimmy pulled his hand back quickly, like he just touched a flame, “What are you trying to say? I’m… I’m um, a mistake?”

“No Jimmy, what I’m trying to say is I made the mistake of ever thinking that I was over a girl who,” She looked down and laughed at herself, a tear escaping her eye but her voice never broke, “… Who helped me discover my true self. And just, helped me overcome my fear of the unknown. Noone has been able to do that, not even my best friend. She’s my… she’s my safe haven.”

She was surprised at the words she has chosen to describe who Tobin was to her. It was all true, smiling weakly at Jimmy, who looked away. She noticed the tightness of his jaw, as if he was holding back his own anger or emotions.

 “Jimmy, you’ve made me feel secure. You’re the perfect guy. The one who any girl could rely on, the one who’s sweet and sincere. And I messed up, you deserve better than me. You deserve a girl who’s willing to bend over backwards for you. This isn’t how I wanted to—“

“So I was your rebound? The one that showed you that you can’t picture yourself without her. The one that’s not good enough?” He shook his head and refused to look at Christen, hurt clearly shown in his voice and even his face. She reached out and squeezed his muscular leg, “No, you are good enough. Too good, even. You deserve _better_. You deserve a girl who would treat you the same way you treat her.”

After hearing nothing but rain pattering against the windows, she took it as a sign that maybe she should just leave. She made it to the elevator and waited for the doors to open, hearing Jimmy speak up after a minute of silence.

“Thank you.”

Christen quickly turned around to see him standing there, hands in his pocket and weakly smiling. She was perplexed by the reaction of his – expecting a little bit of yelling but there was nothing, “For?”

“For an incredible month and a half. It may have been long distance for about… all of it. You treated me normal. That I wasn’t just some NFL player but a… man. We could’ve been something.”

She smiled at him and the elevator door opened, her taking steps back while looking at him, _Maybe, two years ago._

“Goodnight, Jimmy.” She pressed that button indicating the main floor, and let the elevators break the staredown between the two.

_Starting over._

\--

Tobin

_I look so weird._

“You look good.”

“Huh?”

“I can read minds, you look good Harry.”

She’s become a pro at disregarding what her best friend says, “Yeah…” She stood infront of the mirror of her hotel room, “I know I look good, I’m just not… I can’t believe it.”

She wore something similar to what Christen would wear in their past sessions, taking some of her ideas. She wore a grey pencil skirt that came above her belly button and below her boobs, black skinny belt and a white collared shirt rolled up.

“I’m lucky that there’s a J Crew in town.” Tobin said while she struggled putting on her nude heels, “Why pointy Harry, Jesus.”

“Because you look hot in them.” Allie wore a simple black jumper with red heels that popped just as much as her red lipstick.

_Truly the devil, she is._

“Why can’t I wear what you’re wearing?”

“You’re not blonde.”

“Wait, what?”

The both of them put on their coats in unison and headed towards the door at the same time.

“Gotta be me to rock this look.”

“Harry, I can rock that look in my sleep.”

“Blondes do it _betterrr._ ” She singsonged the last word as she walked by like those girls on the runway. Except, she in no way could walk in a straight line.

“Let’s go Anson proud.”

\--

Christen

Two hours before the draft begins:

Christen focused all her stress towards the the weights, training her legs like she had never done before. Alex helped her with resistance workouts, helping with her strength and explosive speed.

The agility? Well, Christen already had it down. Something like that never disappears, it just remains dormant. After a few hours of speed training, Christen was able to move like she used to with the ball.

All she had to worry about was regaining the strength that she once lost. With Soccer, everything starts with strength – leading to being more explosive. That itself opens doors to many parts of soccer. Aggression, power, cuts, you name it. She would do high intensity interval training as much as her body let her. All she needed was two weeks dedicating a part of every day to training to see significant change in her body.

She felt stronger, more confident.

“Well, you’re literally back to normal.” Alex fumbled through her keys, sweaty and exasperated after the workout with Christen, “I swear you’re more fit than me…”

“I still have to work on endurance Alex, look at me and then look at you. I’m nowhere near the shape I want to be in. And I have 2 months to get in that shape.” Alex flung open the door to her apartment and walked slowly into the living room, falling onto the floor.

Her legs were apart, her arms were out, and the dogs didn’t even bother because they knew when Alex looks like that, just let it be. Christen jumped ontop of the counter and drank her bottle of water, “You’re lying.”

“OKAY I don’t know where you’re getting that assumption from but you kicked my ass. Whatever Tobin has done with you, I want the old Chris back.”

Christen rolled her eyes, “I haven’t done _anything_ with her. I just need to prepare. Lets go play Soccer before the… draft.”

Alex giggled, “So you can see your boo make it to the big leagues?”

Christen grabbed her cleats from and tied the laces together of each shoe, flinging it over her shoulders.

“We got two hours and you live next to a field. So, get your ass up and lets go.”

“Shouldn’t you…” Alex propped herself up with her elbows and pointed at Christen’s knee, “Taking it easy maybe?”

“No, that’s the last thing I want to do. _Taking it ‘easy’._ ”

“For me atleast? Let’s just shower, eat dinner, and tomorrow we’ll start back up again. Watch the _draft_!”

“Draft. Day.” Christen repeats, walking over to sit on the couch.

“NO SWEAT ON THE COUCH! God Chris you know this.” Christen got up immediately and lied down right next to Alex, throwing her cleats to the side and Khaleesi coming over to get some affection.

“I’m going to chill here while you go shower.”

“Yah no you go. I’m staying here, I can’t feel my legs.”

Alex just stared at the ceiling with her friend, silence looming over the both of them. There was something wrong with Alex; Christen seeing that there was something on her mind. She usually has this tale – messing with the paint of her nails or chewing on her lower lip.

She was doing both. Finally, she decided to break the awkward silence.

“Is there something you want to tell me Al?”

“Ummmm…”

“Alex, spill.”

“Dinner and a shower first?” She got up groaning, using the coffee table for stability as she tried to get up, “I can’t feel my ass either.”

She wobbled towards the refrigerator, pulling out the prepped lasagna and messed with the oven’s temperature.

“Do you think it’s okay if I put it in now?”

_Sigh._

\--

Tobin

One hour before the draft begins:

They got situated at their tables, getting placed right next to each other as requested by Tobin’s agent, who apparently _everyone_ knows and _everyone_ listens to.

She told her weeks ago that Boston was going to use their first overall pick of the first round and pick her. She’s learned to accept the idea of playing in Boston but couldn’t accept the idea of being so far away from Christen.

No matter how hard she tried to get her sports agent to bend the rules, she would keep getting the same answer.

_It’s not up to me._

Everything comes down to the moment right before the draft begins. So right now-- while Allie and Tobin waited at the convention with all the other athletes-- the trading was going down.

Her sports agent was on her phone the entire time, speaking up for the first time while her eyes were glued on her phone.

“There’s been talk about trading the number one spot between…Wow, they won’t say. We find out right before the draft who has the number one round pick. But they traded already which makes… wait…”

Tobin’s mouth dried up when she heard the word _trade,_ feeling like someone was sucking the air out of her lungs when she didn’t finish the sentence.

Houston, Seattle, Washington, New York, Chicago, New Jersey, Kansas City, Houston, North Carolina, and Orlando.

What are the chances of her possibly getting Chicago? Or Seattle? Exactly a ten percent chance. And Tobin did her research, the red stars did not need a wing player. They needed defense. So that team was in no way wanting to pick up Tobin. It was down to either Portland or Seattle. And guess who was their wing player?

Megan Rapinoe, who had just been cleared to play.

So down to Portland.

Who needed midfielders.

That was exactly the thought process of the young mind who struggled to maintain her composure. It was down to Portland, the closest she could be to Christen, praying that she wouldn’t go back to Chicago for soccer.

\--

Christen

She was being evasive throughout the dinner; making small talk about the president or something so insignificant.

Like bringing up random facts about dogs, as if Christen didn’t know already that dogs age faster than humans. Or Yoga, something that Alex hated yet she decided to bring the topic up and how it’s so “Rejuvenating”. When the last time Christen brought Alex along to her yoga class, she swore up and down that she would never bring her again.

Alex was that awful. Not in Yoga ofcourse, Alex probably had better balance then Christen could ever have. But rather, every single time they would strike a pose, Alex would crack a joke and laugh at herself.

At the last pose, she made a dirty joke, managing to tell the whole class (without intending to but she’s just that loud) about how helpful this would be during sex with Servando.

The whole class turned to the two who were in the middle of the room, Christen feeling the embarrassment hit her fast. And she’s been going to this class ever since she moved to Seattle, which was a year ago.

She basically knew every single person in that room.

Christen made a promise right then and there, to never, ever, _ever,_ bring Alex into a yoga room again.

She was clearly hiding something from Christen and it tore up Christen’s nerves who was anxious to know what was up. After an hour and a half, both of them managed to shower, eat dinner, and clean the kitchen. There was a few minutes left before the draft that was on T.V, zoomed in on Tobin who looked calm and reserved but, Allie was clearly reassuring her.

“So, how do you feel about playing for Seattle?”

Christen turned just her head to look at Alex who did the same thing, “Huh? I haven’t even told anyone about me coming out of retirement.”

Alex covered her face with her hands, “I may or may not have told the GM about you…”

Christen almost gagged on her wine, spilling a little on herself and on the leather couch, feeling the energy hit her once she said those words.

“What why? But you guys have Rumi Utsugi, she’s amazing. And you Alex…”

“Wait! Shhh, the draft is starting.”

“But—“

“TOBIN is about to get picked, oh my god. Oh, wow. Oh, God.”

Christen looked at the T.V and read the draft order and who has the first pick of the first round.

_Oh my god._

“The…”

\--

Tobin

“Portland thorns select Tobin Powell Heath!”

Let me just recap her reaction. At first, she sat there smiling out of confusion, running the numbers through her head again.

 _There was less than a ten percent chance for me to get selected by Portland._ Allie had to punch her leg for Tobin to get up, who hugged her mom and Allie before walking towards the platform with that confused smile still on her face, _Why in the hell would Boston give up their spot?_

She remembered her agent telling her how trading works. Usually if you trade a spot like that, the other team is giving up one of their picks but it turns out, Portland gave _three_ of their picks to Boston to get Tobin.

Now they were left with one other pick in the last round, making it a lot harder for Tobin to believe that she was really that much wanted from this team.

 _Could Christen have been a part of this? There’s no way…_ She kept thinking as the commissioner gave her a red scarf that had their green emblem on both ends. She let the commissioner put the scarf on her and she just stood there in front of the whole crowd in disbelief.

“Uh, Um…” Her eyes scanned the crowd and had the dumbfounded look on her face, _speech you idiot!_ The cameras’ flashing away was something she couldn’t get used to while all eyes were on her,  “I would like to thank Portland for giving me the chance to be a part of this community… Ever since…”

\--

Christen

“…I was a little girl, I dreamt of this moment. To be a part of this family. I would like to thank my _own_ family for letting me dream big, my mom who dealt with my post game losses rants.” The crowd laughed and once the laughters died down, Tobin smile at her mom who was crying already and continued, “Mom, please don’t cry. I wouldn’t be here without you. And would also like to thank a special someone, who is probably watching right now somewhere, for impacting my life in ways I could not fathom. Who changed the way I was for the better, and made me a better person… a better person for this job. I’m ready for this next step in my long journey. Thank you all!”

Tobin was looking right at the camera when she said those last few sentences, not at the crowd. Her mouth dropped while watching her speak the words that seemed to just flow out her mouth. Alex’s mouth was in the shape of an O, Servando confused as he drank the rest of his beer.

“Wonder who that person is.”

Alex tilted her head towards Christen, the brim of Christen’s eyes were filled with tears, the message was fully intended to be directed towards her. Serv just looked at her, _huh?_ Was what he mouthed before a second later, it registered that the message was for Christen. That was when his mouth went into an O as well, _oooooooh WOW_ was what he mouthed before popping open his second beer.

Alex slowly nodded and looked at Christen, the tears now falling without intending to be. She reached out and squeezed her thigh, “That was beautiful Chris.”

There was so much pressure on her chest, feeling like Tobin took a jack hammer and pounded her heart with it, pleading. She had to go get the whiskey, in need of something stronger and sat at the end of the couch away from Alex.

_Damn you, Tobin Heath._

\--

Allie

“It’s either Soccer or your trust fund. You choose Alexandra.” She whispers right behind Allie who was sitting right in front of the whole school. She smiled at the cameras, signed papers entailing her commitment to the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill laid out in front of her.

She wanted to cry hearing those words, each word breaking off a piece of her heart when she felt the sting of the venom dripping off her mother’s tongue. She got up after all the pictures taken and turned around to her mother, “I will never know why you don’t love me as much as you love Patty.”

“Because he’s going down the right path Alexandra, not you.” She kept taking jabs at Allie, who felt like every single one of them knocked her out repeatedly, beating her down but she kept asking for more by getting up.

“Well Barbara, you got what you always wanted. I choose Soccer.”

~

Noone was there to support Allie, not even her own brother.

The first round passed by and nobody picked up Allie, who was frantic behind the thousands of walls she put up for this NWSL gig. She was a worried mess, scared to not be chosen by any team. It was her worst fear, becoming a free agent and no one caring enough to give her a chance at something special.

_Please, god. Just do me some justice and give me a sign. I can’t not play Soccer. It’s enough that I can’t rep USA bro._

Tobin patted her back pulling her away from her thoughts, “It’s going to be okay.”

“Second round is starting, it makes me nervous.”

“There’s two more after that.” She says happily, “You’re going to get picked up.”

…

Two rounds later, she wasn’t getting picked up. She felt her mother saying -- _I told you so, you should have went to med school like I wanted you to. It’s a shame, I’m the best pediatric surgeon in the state of New York, I had it made for you._

She did have it made for her, the path was paved for her once she got into UNC, the alma mater of her own mother. She was a legacy, having an advantage over every other med school applicant with her mom’s heavy endorsements to the school.

She felt every ridiculed comment her mother has made the past 4 years hit her, _maybe she was right. Maybe I should have went to med school. It’s not too late. I can study for the MCat and be okay. 6 more years. Why the hell does no one want me?_

“You’ll—“

“BE okay, you said that atleast ten times Harry.” Tobin slouched back in her seat, worried for her friend. Tobin knew what she was doing, “Your mother wasn’t right about you Allie. You’re an amazing person, and even a better soccer player.”

“For the last pick, the thorns choose _Alexandra Long!”_

She leaped out of her chair and so did Tobin, who immediately went in for a hug, not Allie but Tobin, who was genuinely happy.

“I can’t believe it. We’re playing together!”

“Who wouldn’t want the dynamic duo out of North Carolina?” Both of them laughed and did their handshake, hearing people laugh in the background and the flashes going off. She hugged her one more time, “Go make Anson proud.”

“You know it, laters baby.” She winked at Tobin who shook her head in disbelief at the 50 shades reference, watching her friend dance all the way up to the podium.

 _Got moves like Michael! No moonwalking though, be professional. I wish I can just throw up two middle fingers and say, how bow dah mom._ Alter ego was totally taking over Allie as the commissioner put the scarf around her neck, getting overly excited about being the last pick of the draft.

_No, stop wishing that. But damn, fuck you mom._

\--

“I don’t know how I feel.” She took down a gulp of her strong whiskey before looking at Alex, “Please tell me you have news that can take my mind off of what she said?”

Alex sighed and leaned all the back on her perfect couch, “What she said was perfect Chris, I don’t know why you’re running away from it.”

“I just…” _Wish I was there,_ “Just tell me.”  
Alex didn’t want to but she had no other choice, “Seattle doesn’t have… me, Chris.”

Christen processed those words as slow as she said her next words, “What… do… you, mean?”  
Alex leaned forward and looked into her lap smiling, “I felt like. I’ve been at a standstill for the past two years of my life? I couldn’t complain though, with your knee.” She looked at her knee for a moment before looking at Christen, “I had no right, I didn’t. Remember when I went on that ‘trip’ to Paris with Serv during the off-season last year?”

Christen shrugged, “Yeah I do, what about it?”

“Yeah well I wasn’t… on a trip. I went to Lyon, they offered me a spot… and I took it. For a year though.”

Christen was silent for a solid minute before Alex just sighed and continued, “Chris, I feel like I’m at a plateau, where I’m not getting better at the sport I love. I want to be the best. To be the best, I need to play with the best and against the best. It’s completely different over there. I need the change.”

Christen wasn’t angry nor was she sad, she was happy for her. It took a minute for her to process the information, learning herself that change is a good thing. Especially for Alex in this case.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t see it sooner, see you feel like you’re trapped. I should’ve been there for you.”

“Noooo don’t do that Chris, I love you. Don’t say that,” She went in for a hug, embracing her best friend for a moment and kissed her forehead before pulling back, “I’ll be back in a year. I don’t agree with you going back to the club that wasn’t supportive… I just don’t want you to go back to Chicago where it happened. Start over Chris. Here at Seattle.”

“What happens when you come back though?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, that Japanese chick will probably…” She clicked her tongue and pointed her thumb behind her. The both of them laughed and hugged once more, “I’m happy for you, but I’m going to miss you.”

Alex snorted at the comment, “You’re gonna have Tobin to keep you company.”

Christen smacked the back of her head and laughed, feeling like she was right.

“Yeah. She will.”


	13. Surprises

“I can’t believe it.”

“I can.”

“Well, I was just saying that for dramatic effect.”

“Yeaaaah okay Tobin.”

Truth is, Tobin really couldn’t believe it.

Both Harrys’ had their hands on their hips, staring at their empty apartment. The same apartment where they lived in the past 4 years of their life. Where they sat and drank on cheap boxed wine, complaining about every tiny little thing.

The same kitchen where the two made their first meal together. The same microwave that popped the popcorn that served as dinner many nights throughout their collegiate career only when they ran out of their stipend because that is the cheapest dinner available for a college student.

The same living room where Tobin held Allie in her arms as the blonde cried away her pain after her first college breakup or failing her first exam ever (Allie was always a straight A student in highschool). The same living room where they argued who would be Harry in the friendship.

It was still special in Tobin’s eyes, because this very apartment was where their friendship blossomed. Or rather, where everything began for them.

A week after the draft, both girls went to Portland to officially sign their contracts. Allie and Tobin agreed that since it was their first year on the team, it’s best if they lived together and split the rent to save more money. Tobin’s sports agent managed to increase her salary up by a small percentage, not much because of the limit on the salary cap from the team.

While there, they spent time apartment hunting and found the perfect place -- a studio apartment with a rustic feel to it that was also spacious with high ceilings. It’s about a ten-minute drive without traffic from the stadium and downtown, perfect for Allie who claims that she will go explore at least one place in Oregon every week.

They were the typical tourists, buying matching T-shirts that highlights one of Portland's many nicknames, saying “This is Rose City” and taking pictures in front of any “cute”  building they could spot. After a week of exploring in the city, with the hotel expenses completely paid for along with everything else (By that I mean, Allie forcing Tobin to go to every high class restaurant because it was all paid for so why the hell not was Allie’s logic), they took a flight back to North Carolina.

And there they were a few days later, staring at their empty apartment.  

“So the apartment will be ready in less than a week. I really don’t want to leave you, but Bati insisted on me going. He wants to be a romantic by spending my last days on the East Coast, which I told him it wouldn’t be my _last days,_ ” She took a deep breath in after mimicking the way he said it with his Spanish accent, “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I’ll be okay, my fam wants to make a big deal out of the move, acting like I’ll never see them again. Ugh, I hate parties.”

Allie threw her arm over Tobin to pull her in closer, “We all know you’re the life of the party so you’ll be fine.” Tobin didn’t fight her strong arm, only just wrapping her long arms around Allie’s waist and tightening her hold, “We’re professional soccer players now.”

“Professional. Soccer. Players. It feels so… weird saying that.”

_It sure does._

\--

Before the two left, they visited their coach one last time, saying their final goodbyes and then made their way to the airport. It wasn’t like it was going to be the last time seeing each other for a long time, so this airport goodbye wasn’t as bad as Christen’s was. That, had Tobin feeling sad for days.

After driving Allie to the airport, she drove directly to her parents' house with her carry on in the back of her seat. She and Allie decided to meet back in Portland since it was easier and more efficient than meeting up again back in Charlotte and going into Portland together.

The weather was perfect, no longer feeling the winter weather that loomed over January in North Carolina. The wind was blowing, the birds were back in town and chirping away, and there were zero clouds with seventy degree weather.

Too perfect of a day to _not_ be grilling steak.

Tobin wondered if this was the type of weather that was waiting for her back in Portland, if it’s going to stay the way it was in that one week being there -- perfect. Going to a completely foreign area always freaked her out, even if it was for a road game. She wasn’t used to it… getting homesick right after the game because there was nothing left to think about. All she would think about on the plane ride back was getting home, to her own bed, to her own apartment.

The idea of moving clearly freaked Tobin out, but not Allie.

For Allie, it was more like a big stand against her mom, proving her to be wrong rather than right like she has always believed. So, moving to Portland was more exciting for her, not thinking about all that she’s leaving behind.

But, the idea of Christen being just a train ride away alleviated some of the pain Tobin had felt from officially moving out west. The idea of them possibly getting back together, now that was what helped her through this process.

Possibly.

The word killed Tobin every time she thought of it, wishing it didn’t come down to just… possibilities. There were times where she just wanted to text Christen, to ask how her and the bald player is doing just to get some kind of idea of where they stand. But she held back, wanting to give Christen the space she wanted.

_Have complete faith that she’ll make the right choice._

She couldn’t hold her like she wanted to, nor kiss her like she had envisioned every day of the past days without Christen. She wished she was watching the Notebook with her all over again despite hating the movie to her core, wanting to relive the moment once more. To feel the heat of Christen’s body, to just… be next to her.

In her presence.

All she had at this point was that faith, her last straw. Tobin casted the ultimate ultimatum upon herself -- If she moves and doesn’t see Christen like she wants or hears from her, then move on or stay hung up over a girl.

A girl can only wait so much before breaking. 

“Okay, all you have to do is plant your foot pointing outward a little and kick the ball with the inside of your foot, not directly at the center and follow through. The trick is is to keep that foot planted, kid. Again.” Jeff ran towards the ball and kicked the ball exactly the way Tobin described. She backpedaled quickly to catch the ball that curved way over her. She was able to catch it before it went over the large fence and yelled out, “See, I told you that you can curve the ball!! Third try, not so bad. Now let’s try with the outside of the foot.”

She was enthusiastic, happily tossing the ball in front of her fifteen yards, but she didn’t get the same vibe coming from her little brother. He just stared at the ball with his head down and kicked the ball weakly back towards her, “I just don’t know why you have to go across the country.”

Tobin walked over to where he was standing while their dad grilled on the high deck and her sisters watching the moment from above. She sat down on the grass and patted the patch next to her, “C’mere Jeffrey. It’s time we have that talk.”

“Isn’t it a little too soon for _the_ talk?” He questioned, sitting down on the green grass and then sighing, itching his mosquito bite on his leg silently. Tobin slapped his arm away and he pulled back laughing, “Finally I hear that laugh!” Tobin leaned forward and rested her arms on her knees, Jeffrey doing the same thing.

“I’m a freshman in high school.”

“Excuse me sir, you are still my baby brother,” She looked over at him, squinting against the sun, but kept looking at him.

“I didn’t choose or else I would have chosen the team here.” It was a lie, but a good lie. He looked at her this time and she spoke up again with a smile, “But I had no choice in the matter. When you grow up to be a soccer player like me—“

“YEAAAH. He’s going to play tennis, it’s already been decided Toby.”

“You’re going to grow up and play soccer like ME and graduate. You’re going to go through this process where… it’s like duck, duck, goose. Someone chooses you and you just… have to run along with it. Until you find your true home. But…”

“Christen.” He interrupted, picking out some of the grass blades and throwing them ahead of him.

_Damn I’m going to miss this kid._

“Uh,” She itched her head and looked away, Katie now leaning against the porch to hear this answer, “Yeah. Keep this a secret between me and you, kid.”

She brought up her pinky finger and he brought up his, locking his finger with hers, something they have always done together ever since he was, well younger.  Tobin picked up the ball and chucked it at her sister from above, hearing a yelp and seeing just a middle finger out in the sky before it disappeared seconds later.

“Christen… She is my home. And well, I feel like it was fate for me to be in Portland.” He remained quiet, picking at the grass next to him, “Okay show me your geography skills. What’s right above Oregon?”

“Washington.”

“And guess who’s in Washington?”

“Christen?” He turned to look at Tobin’s place for the first time, “But you’re in two different states.”

“Shhh, whispering. But ever heard of trains, kiddo?”

“Hey, I’m not eleven anymore! So I mean…what’s the game plan?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. Wait for her to pick her goose, I guess?” Jeffrey shook his head and Tobin started laughing, “What? What’s wrong with that?”

“Love’s a game, I don’t like it.”

Tobin did was Allie once did on her to him, hooking her arm around his neck and using the other to ruffle his hair, giving him a wet kiss on his cheek, “What do you know about love, HUH?”  
“Grosssss Tobbbin get off me!” They started wrestling on the grass, Tobin was planning on letting him win, but he did it all by himself. It surprised her how fast the kid was growing up, clearly he got stronger and soon, he’d be taller. Their mom called on them to start making their way up to their deck. He nudged her thigh while they walked towards the porch, “She would be cuuuuh-razy if she didn’t pick you as her goose.”

Tobin nudged him right back and she looked at him, feeling like he gets her better than anyone else in this family, even her own mother.

“You don’t have to tell me twice, I know…”

\--

“…Tyler, I know this recipe better than you in fact.” She stood next to the pot guarding the green beans, knowing how her sisters get when she cooks them. Her other sister tried to take a green bean, but Christen smacked her hand away, “I need all of them.”

The house smelt like the roast which had been cooking for the past three hours in the double oven on the other side of the large kitchen. Its heavy aroma filled the air and started to make every stomach grumble.

Both sisters were at Christen’s sides, waiting for their moment to sneak in a bite. Channing tried again and failed, but her other sister succeeded, managing to stab her fork into the water like she was trying to catch a fish back in the hunter and gatherer days. She did it in one quick motion, too fast for Christen to stop her so Christen glared at her as she ate it, “Do that again and you don’t get any of my green beans.”

“I haven’t had your green beans in a year and you make the best around the block. Let me live.”

Christen smiled proudly at her beans and hummed along, “The trick is the touch of apple cider vinegar and sugar with olive oil…” She stopped talking and challenged her older sister to finish, who had her back to the beans and her arms crossed as she plotted her next words.  
“Put it in cold water aaaand—“

“Bring it to a slight boil to keep that crunch!” Channing happily finished the sentence beside Christen. Tyler reached around Christen to smack the back of her younger sibling’s head for stealing her moment and looked back at Christen, “Yet we can’t make it like you. WHY.”

Christen let out an exaggerated sigh, “It’s ‘cause I’m…amazing?”

“Yeah yeah, we get it. You’re an amazing cook and we aren’t.”

“Yep, I’ll just stick to ramen noodles.” Her younger sister quipped and Christen started laughing at the remarks, but decided to not say anything. She was always the one to use up her spare time by watching her mom carefully while she was cooking the family dinners. In the end, it’s her sisters’ faults for not cherishing the little moments in life.

All three of them stayed quiet and Christen knew she was in trouble. Knowing how they are, they wouldn’t be standing around watching her cook if they didn’t want to ask a question. She took the beans off the heat and walked over to the tall pantry, opening the door to retrieve the bag of potatoes and kicked the door with her heel, closing it as she made her way towards the large island counter.

Channing walked around the island and leaned over the counter and stared at Christen who was now working on the potatoes. She started cutting the red potatoes in half, throwing them into a large pot of salted water.

“So uh, why keep the red skin on the potatoes?” Channing awkwardly asked but Christen knew better than to think Channing was actually interested in cooking.

_Flavor, you fool._

“What do you waaaant Chan.” She said, cutting the exasperating tension between all three sisters. Finishing the last potato, she hastily put the large pot onto the spotless stove, going to the refrigerator with a game plan pulling out the chives and milk, setting them on the counter in front of the frantic sisters.

“I’m just wondering, now that you and the NFL player broke things off, why—“

“Amicably.” Christen corrected, stopping for a second to look at her sister with a serious look on her face.

“Amicably _broke things off,_ ” Tyler tested her limits by finishing her correction with a confident wink. Christen already knew where this was going. Her sisters were old enough to be considered adults, but when it came to Christen’s relationships, they acted like teenagers.

“I mean we don’t want… We was-were -- oh my god GRAMMAR am-I-right.” She started laughing at herself and whipped her hair over her shoulder. Christen was about to tell her cut to the chase, but her sister continued with her struggle.

“I was just wondering when maybe you’re going to tell… Well--” Christen felt the impatience rise hearing her older sister fumble with the words she couldn’t say, “Are you serious?”

“Tobin,” Channing interrupted soon after she rolled her eyes at Tyler before looking at Christen, “When are you going or planning on telling her about the… _amicable_ breakup.”

“Oh, _you were just wondering_?” Christen directed that statement towards the oldest sibling of the three. She put the knife down next to her chives and planted her two hands wide apart on the cold surface of the polished concrete counter. It was similar to the actions of her mother right when she was ready to give them a lecture about cleanliness in the house.

Her mom renovated the kitchen three different times growing up, finally choosing this look to be the final renovation in the house. Their kitchen had a modern feel to it, black cabinets wrapped around the walls had steel handles and the kitchen only had stainless steel appliances. There was a light grey backsplash made of thin bricks highlighted by dim lights running across the top of each counter placed under the cabinets. Both sisters sat in the chique, white high chairs in front of Christen at the breakfast bar waiting for Christen to speak up.

“Why are you two so adamant to know?”

“Know what?”

Her mom came in the kitchen with more groceries for the epic dinner, kissing Christen’s cheek that was now colored with anger. Christen was relieved to hear her mother’s voice, turning on her heels to walk towards the cabinet with all the spices. She started bringing out the typical spices you’d put in mashed potatoes and brought out the butter, speaking to her mom as she picked out the ingredients.

“Nothing, they were just wondering about… soccer in Seattle.” She lied boldly, hoping her mom wouldn’t sense the anger coming from her voice. Her sisters walked off together knowing they had made a mistake, their heads glued to their phones because they didn’t know what else to do.

She was angry, not liking how her sisters danced around the ring instead of just going in for the punch. Even when she was infuriated, she felt guilty. She knew it was wrong of her to pounce the way she did. She just couldn’t help it, wanting to dance around the topic as well with double standards. She wasn’t ready to talk about how she was going to tell Tobin or when, not to them at least.

She needed her mom.

Because she was a wreck and she knew it.

“I can’t wait to have your green beans, baby!” Her mom checked on the roast and closed back the oven, “Christen.”

Her mom never said her full name like that unless she was serious. Christen took the cue, placing her knife down and watched her mom walk around the counter towards her.

“What’s up mom?” She said it quietly, looking away from her mom’s gentle eyes trying to unconsciously persuade Christen to open up to her.

She felt her mother’s warm touch on her hand, her anger suddenly disappearing over a span of seconds.

“Weeks back I said some things that were selfish and—“  
“Mom no, there’s no need to bring—“  
Her mom cut her off with a wave and squeezed her hand lightly, “There is. Because I was _selfish._ I didn’t think about how happy she makes you…”

Christen shook her head and closed her eyes thinking they told her about the breakup, “Ty and Chan can’t keep their mouths closed huh.”

“No because they’re your sisters,” She went on defending her daughters blindly, “They’ve missed you being so happy. And I ruined that, I made you feel like the relationship you have with Tobin was something I disapprove of over my own desires.”

She remembered the conversation and how it went down; things her mom said had left her shocked and hurt. Deep down, she knew her mother didn’t mean it but it still had that effect on her.

“I will always, approve of whoever and whatever makes you happy. I’m sorry baby, I really am.”

Christen forced back the tears with a strong sniffle, turning to hug her mom tightly. She squeezed her eyes shut, “Don’t apologize. Thank you mom, this… you have… no… idea how much this means to me..”

A mother’s approval was something Christen always looked for growing up in such a competitive environment. Every accomplishment in her life was to make her proud, prouder than she was with Tyler. That was always her end game.

She didn’t know about the breakup with Tobin and Christen thought she did. Christen couldn’t talk to her about it simply because of that conversation she had months ago at the dinner table.

“I can’t wait until you bring her by the house. I really can’t, I’m excited to meet her!”

The words acted like an accelerant to her tears, crying silently against the smaller woman’s shoulder. Her mom started trying to soothe Christen’s tears and it was working. Christen sniffled again and wiped away the tears while resting her head on her mom’s shoulder, “We aren’t together anymore but… I want to be. She’s waiting. She’s _been_ waiting…I just want to start over with her Mom, a clean slate for the both of us.”

Her mom pushed herself away and squared her shoulders, pumping out her chest a little just to look stronger.

“Did she hurt you?” She said sternly, the tone of her mother was more so on the aggressive side than worried.

“N-No, No.” She lied, “I feel like I hurt her. I jumped out of that relationship and into another. That, I… I just don’t want to text her now…”

Her mom’s voice turned softer, “Why not, Christen?”

“Because… Because I just can’t. I can’t when she’s over there… I want to tell her that I’m not with him anymore, I do. I just, can’t see it happening through text…” She further explained to her mom how Tobin signed a good deal with the Thorns. Her mom gave her a puzzled look, Christen giving one back because she thought, what out of everything I just said, confused her?

“What?”

“Christen, she’s moving to Portland. You should just call her.”

“I can’t… What if she… stopped waiting?” Christen turned away and saw the pot boiling, her mind telling her to naturally turn the stove off.

“Can’t, is not a part of our vocabulary…” Her mother’s voice was serious this time, “Life’s too short Christen, to be stuck on the _what if’s_. And what is the point of starting over? History is the best part of any relationship, remembering the days that made you fall in love with her."

She was in the middle of running her hand through her hair, one resting on her hip like she was an old lady. She felt like she was in a drag race up until that very moment, her mind stopping the recurring _what if_. Her mom was right, now the question that kept repeating in her mind didn't start with  _what if_ but with...just _what..._

 _What_  was the point of starting over with Tobin, when every adventure she ever had with her was the reason why she fell in love with her in the first place?

And  _why._

Why start over on something that was filled with memorable moments, despite the kiss Tobin shared with an old friend that meant nothing to Christen at this point. There wasn't an answer, Christen thought, and at the same time noted that the foundation of any relationship was having  _trust._ Trust, that Tobin broke but managed to regain right before she left for Seattle. And it wasn't all the adventures -- a Football game, Charleston, and the mountains-- that changed her mind no, it was the fact that Tobin never made a move on her when Tobin very well knew that she was with Jimmy.

Tobin respected her relationship with the very man that was blocking her from being with the one she wanted.

And with her mom saying what she said, she realized that none of her memories with Tobin were bad. In fact, those memories were now memories she wanted to cling onto forever.

"There’s only one way to find out if she really moved on… and that’s if you go Chris, go to Portland and find out.”

She froze midway through her hair and turned around to face her mom again, “What, you mean like go up there?”

“That’s what I said… she deserves that much waiting for you.” Her mom went to the pot, draining the water in the sink and started on the mashed potatoes, “Everything will be okay, I promise.”

_I promise._

She couldn’t remember the last time her mom broke a promise. Actually, she can’t remember one because she has never broken a promise she has made. It was a promise she was fully intending on keeping.

“Thank you.”

“For what,” Her mom scoffed, “I’m here for you. And if it means trying to fix what I broke—“

“Stop, you didn’t break anything…”

“Okay fine what you _two_ broke, I will put you on the spot. I do it out of love baby.”

Christen let out a small giggle and hugged her from behind, “Love you too.”

She heard something drop around the corner and then a muffled _you idiot_ clearly said by Tyler a second later. Christen walked around the corner seeing her two sisters huddled together in a tight spot.

“Are you serious?” She pulled out her phone and texted the one person she knew she could count on, smiling at the phone like some teenager.

“Sorry Chris I just had to hear her say it…” Christen walked off deeming it not necessary to hear the rest of her defense and sat on the large leather couch in the open living room.

_Pinoe, I love you. I’m sorry for not keeping up. But I need to know when Tobin’s coming to Portland ASAP._

…

She was anxious throughout the whole dinner, waiting for a text, excited as she plowed through her green beans first. At one point, Channing made a joke that wasn’t even funny but Christen thought it was hilarious, laughter disappearing once she felt her phone vibrate.

Pinoe [6:31 P.M.] Love you MOREEE. Her apartment will be ready and furnished in three days. She’s coming in four days, her flight's landing at 5, I’m supposed to be picking her up. May I ask whyyy?

Christen’s fingers were fast to respond, forgetting about her food.

_Okay, thank you! No need to pick her up;)_

Pinoe [6:21 P.M.] OHHH yasss, thank the Lord. I don’t know why I’m always the one to pick up the rooks.

Christen scarfed down a bite of her roast and followed it with a bite of her mash potatoes, moaning into the bite at how creamy the potatoes were.

“Mom, this…” Christen swallowed and drank her water pointing at her food with her fork, “So good!” She was so excited, she couldn’t hold back. Her mother swallowed her small piece of roast and nodded slowly at the sudden change of heart, “I know, you made the roast, remember?”

“Psh… Your recipe sooo…” She stopped talking as she sent out that last text, looking up at her sisters who were just staring at her while eating their bites slowly, “So who wants to plan a surprise?”

She saw their faces light up once they heard the word ‘surprise’, feeling her own face naturally do the same. She looked down at her phone again to send another text to her good friend, Megan.

_And oh, would you happen to know where Tobin is living at by any chance? Pleeease tell me you do!_

Pinoe responded right when she sent that.

 _Uh_ _duhhhh, I'm the one who suggested for her to live here in this complex. Why?_

_See you soon:)_

\--

Three days went by faster than she had expected, the moment where she had to leave her family for Portland finally came around. It wasn’t like she was excited for it since was under the impression that no one was waiting for her on the other end of the States so no, there was nothing to be excited for.

Jeffery took Tobin leaving much harder than her own sisters did. It was hard on Tobin too, forcing back the tears to be strong for the both of them. She kept recounting how he couldn’t look at her during the short ride to the airport and the hurried hug he gave her.

_Jeffy, it’ll be okay. You can visit me whenever, just let me know and I’ll pay for all the expenses._

She remembered looking back and the only ones there watching her leave were her sisters and parents. Jeffery already left instead of waiting with his family and it frankly hurt Tobin enough to know that she was the cause of his hurt.

_Give it time Tobs, he’ll get around to it._

She knew he would, especially when he sees her first game in a red jersey. He’s going to be prouder than he ever was with her, and that was more than enough for Tobin to get through this long plane ride towards the west coast. 

...

Five hours later, she finally saw Portland. Tobin peered through the thick glass of the airplane, seeing the large city below and the start of a sunset.

_The start of something new._

She wasn’t expecting anyone, listening to a throwback playlist as she went through TSA _again_ and getting stuck in line. She didn’t like the idea of coming in alone but she came to terms with the fact that Christen never texted her to see when she was coming in.

Slowly but surely, she lost some of that faith she was clinging onto for dear life, accepting defeat and that alone tore her up. She walked around aimlessly, getting lost a couple of times in the big airport before she was finally able to see at a distance where all the loved ones waited around. Tobin decided to text Christen when she edged closer to the crowd, unlocking her phone with her fingerprint and hitting her conversation with Christen under favorites. She saw the last, grey conversation she had with Christen and didn’t even bother to read it, knowing the words by heart.

_I made it to Portland!! I hope all is well._

She hit the send button, cursing at herself for making the text so boring, reading it a couple of times before sighing and putting her phone away in the inside pocket of her black lulu leggings. She got a text soon after she sent it, feeling the small vibration on just below her hip fire up to her heart. She struggled taking the phone out of her pocket; her nervous, clammy hands typing in the code quickly because she couldn’t unlock the phone through her fingerprint after trying all five times. She read the text slower than a child trying to learn how to read, her heart beating faster from the anticipation of what the text might be.

_Look up for me._

“Look… up. Wait. Look, up?” She started talking to herself, her eyes glued to her phone not wanting to look up. She paused for a second, holding a part of her natural hair to avoid it falling onto the phone so that she could read the text again. She walked slower, edging closer and closer to the crowd.

_Look up Tobin._

The text was so simple and short, yet it turned Tobin’s world around in a blink of an eye.

She received the second text again before she was able to muster up a response. This time Tobin wasted no time in looking up, losing her breath at the same time thinking her mind was playing tricks on her. She could feel the color drain from her face and her body lose it's strength slowly, her mind begging her to just believe that this is true. To believe that it wasn't someone different, but that it was Christen Press.

The butterflies found their way back to her stomach in swarms when Tobin saw the girl of her dreams after a month and a half now, only feet away. She’s dreamed of this moment too many times, thinking it wouldn’t ever happen.

No, dreams do come true.

She looked even more beautiful in reality compared to the dream, wearing a light blue tank with white shorts and Tory Burch sandals. She was tanner, her muscles were more defined in her legs and her face looked fuller, happier. They were both just standing about six or so steps away from each other, Tobin looking completely dumbfounded. She found herself zeroed in on the smile that wouldn’t disappear on Christen’s face.

“You’re here…” Reality hit her too fast, like she just ran into a brick wall blindfolded.

“Surprise?”

_Holy fuck!!!_

She laughed at Christen who held her shrug at the top, her arms were hanging loosely in the air. Tobin dropped her carry-on bag on the floor, her beats followed soon after and she sprinted the small distance that seemed to have been larger than life at that moment. She picked her up by the waist, spinning her around with sheer joy, hearing her contagious laugh bellow in her ears.

It was like hearing Future’s new album for the first time except, it was forty thousand times better.

“You’re here.” Tobin repeated, short of breath despite the little energy she spent twirling her around. She put her down slowly, Christen’s chest brushing against her own wreaked havoc on Tobin's soul. Her hands rested at Christen’s waist, feeling her once more clearly started to put her in a light trance so she let go of her but didn't back away. Tobin held her breath when she saw Christen bring her hand up to push away the loose strands that fell out of Tobin’s loose ponytail and into her face, her touch feeling electric as she looked into those eyes that had Tobin hypnotized.

She was no longer familiar with the feeling she got when Christen looked at her with such sincerity. The small distance between them and hearing her voice once again… seeing her and being so close with her, it had a more of an impact on Tobin than the altitude she has been at for the past five hours.

“Told you that wasn’t goodbye.”

Tobin rolled her eyes at the _I told you so_ remark, unable to say _Yeah whatever_ since the only thing she wanted to say was,  _you're here._ It seemed like that was all she knew how to say since that was pretty much what flowed through Tobin's mind. That and the fact that Christen being here in the flesh, was only for her. Christen laughed at how silent Tobin was, going around her to pick up the heavy bag and walked back towards Tobin.

“Wait no, let me.” Tobin reached for the bag but Christen moved the bag away just enough for her not to be able to reach it, “No ma’am, don’t you try. You hungry?”

There was that smile again that Tobin adored. The harder Christen smiled, the harder she squints. That was the one thing that Tobin has missed seeing the most—the same one that had her hooked from the very beginning, dating back all the way to that meeting held in the conference room.

And right when she saw that smile was when Tobin felt her hopes come back to life.

That she hasn't lost a battle just yet...

“God… you have no idea.”

"Well, I have another surprise for you." Christen added, laughing right after when she heard Tobin's loud groan behind her, "Another surprise?"

"Another Surprise."

Or maybe, that battle was already won and Tobin...just didn't know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOTEEEEEM! *Gasps* Christen has Tobin for a night to herself whuuuut will happen *Insert thinking emoji right here* Tumblr: Nora020.tumblr.com  
> I don't use it, but will make an exception to use it for you amazing people. You can pretty much message your questions through there since I have it linked to my phone. If not, just comment below what you feel or want to see from me. Hope you liked that ending;)


	14. 1008 Reasons Why

“How can you possibly plan a bigger surprise than _literally. Seeing_ you…” Tobin wasn’t paying attention on the road to notice the familiar path Christen was taking, her eyes only on the girl that’s driving.

“That’s the best surprise I could ask for.”

They reached a red light and Christen turned to look at her, Tobin quickly turning away once she felt the movement. Her eyes were now glued onto the bright red, the memory of stopping at this light in an Uber with Allie hit her, “Wait… This is, Are you taking me to my own apartment…”

Christen hummed along to the song and didn’t bother responding, swaying her head side to side as she listened to Easton Corbin’s song, Are you with me. She pointed at the radio of her rental, “This playlist of country is… decent, I never knew country is this good?”

Tobin scrunched her nose and pointed at herself, looking at Christen like she just threw some shade by avoiding her question.

“Did you really just ignore me,” Tobin grinned and nodded her head slowly, “Okay. Alright. Cool, I’m cool with it.”

“Yes Tobin, I am taking you home.”

And all Tobin did was grunt. They parked their rental in the garage and took the elevator down to the main floor connecting to the lobby. They stood side by side, facing the elevator, hands barely grazing and neither one of them pulling away. Hearing the steady breathing of Christen and the frequent ring of the elevator, Tobin gulped nervously as she watched the red number tick down to one.

Being in such a small space with Christen made her claustrophobic, like the air was getting sucked away by a vacuum. Once the door opened she sprung forward, not expecting Christen to do the same.

“Erm…” They were stuck and Christen laughed at how the situation served as Tobin’s greatest calamity, clear signs of distress on her face, “You first.” She took one step back and held her free arm out, signaling her to walk ahead of her.

“The couple of the hour!” Tobin’s mouth dropped and stared at Christen, ready to speak up to the old clerk but Christen’s vivacious laugh would’ve drowned out any attempt of telling him he has it all wrong.

“Oh Edward, you’re too sweet. How’s Jane?” Tobin was following Christen at this point, just looking at her as she spoke with _her_ office clerk.

“Why she’s doing great, thank you for asking Ms. Press. This is the lucky girl?” Tobin was so confused, she didn’t realize that he was looking at her or rather, speaking to her since clearly, Christen stole the show.

She looked at the clerk, back at Christen, sending her a _what the hell are we doing, I’m breaking the ice_ look, and then back to the clerk.

“Actually, We—“ Christen reached for Tobin’s hand and Tobin stopped talking once she felt the fingers intertwine with her own. Her eyes widened and Christen’s voice took over, “Yes she is the lucky one and Tobin was probaaably just about to say that we’re super tired. I know I was waiting for her at the airport, have a good night Edward!”

Tobin let herself be dragged by Christen, frowning at the old Clerk who just smiled at her politely. He was probably just as confused as Tobin was, “What the hell was that…”

Christen waited to answer until they got into the elevator, “I told him I was your girlfriend.” The way she answered it was in a nonchalant manner. Like she was enjoying how Tobin was just smiling while at the same time, confused.

“But…why?”

“It was the only way to get into your apartment!” The elevator doors opened and Christen hurried out, “I had to for your surprise.”

“Again with the surprises…” Tobin mumbles, trudging along behind Christen who lead the way to her _own_ apartment. When she saw it, it was not finished, still putting the finishing touches on the apartment. But it was good enough for Tobin to say yes right on the spot.  
Christen rearranged the living room the way she knew Tobin would like with the help of Megan and her teammates. She opened the door to a real home, the smell of something good hitting Tobin square in the face.

Christen turned around with a bottle of champagne in her hand, “Welcome home, Tobs.” She did a party trick, popping off the top in one swift move. The liquid started pouring out instantly, Christen catching it with two plastic cups, “It was all I could find.”

Tobin was in awe, a ridiculous smile surfaced while she looked around her furnished apartment, a large banner hung up from one side of the living room to the other. Christen handed her the red solo cup but Tobin’s eyes never left the large banner.

_Welcome HOME!_

Everything was the way she imagined her apartment would look when it was furnished. Christen somehow in six months was able to figure out how Tobin likes everything. Who by the way, was amazed at how grand the gesture was, sentimental in a way. Because making a move across an entire country, Tobin couldn’t deal with any imperfections.

Especially with the season just around the corner.

And in three week’s time, the first practice of the season for the Thorns will begin.

So yes, everything must be perfect.

And Christen made everything to where she wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing. She looked at Christen and lied through her wicked smile, “You didn’t have to do all this… coming when, you didn’t have to.”

Christen took a few steps forward and squeezed Tobin’s forearm with her free hand, “You’re right, I didn’t have to. But I wanted to.” She walked around Tobin, purposely grazing her side with Tobin’s just to see how Tobin reacts. And it’s still the same way, hearing her take a deep breath in and see her hand shoot up to rub the back of her neck in the corner of her eye before she was no longer in her line of vision.

It was cute, no doubt.

That is, the fact that Christen was checking that she still had that effect on Tobin.

And she did.

“So, what are you making?” Tobin was as quick to change topics as she was to shove down all those emotions that were trying to break out from Christen’s gesture.

“Nothiiing, though it’s been slow cooking for only like… six hours.”

Christen was checking on her pot of god knows what, maybe _ragu?_ Tobin decided to not guess and sneak behind Christen, getting closer without Christen noticing, who was just humming as she stirred the content around.

Tobin was close enough to touch but was careful _not_ to touch. She got on tip toes to peek over her broad shoulders, “Chili?”

“TOBIN!” Christen yelped out, flinging the wooden spoon up in the process, quickly turning around to only be surprised by how _close_ Tobin’s body was to hers. Now, to the point that they were touching. Chili found its way on Christen’s cheek and a splatter landed on the freshly polished stainless steel hood and granite countertops, “You scared me.”

It came out as a whisper while staring at her lips, unable to avert her eyes away from them. Tobin shrugged and looked at Christen’s cheek, eyes then looking at her moist lips.

Then back to her eyes, “I’m really hungry right now.”

 _Hungry for what exactly?_ Christen shook the unreal thought away but couldn’t budge, her feet superglued to the floor. All the weight of her own heart anchoring her down on the tan, wooden floors.

Tobin’s stomach grumbled, her devious mind telling her to kiss the chili off her cheek, and then taste the champagne off her lips. And then press her against the counter and let her hands roam wherever they wanted, freely.

She could physically feel her pulse throb against her skin with Tobin that close, her mind stirring ten times faster than it was five minutes ago. Christen wasn’t thinking, turning around to scoop up a tiny bit of chili on her wooden spoon.

It wasn’t helping that Spotify decided to play Electric by Alina Baraz, Christen cursing at herself in her head for putting her playlist on shuffle. Atleast the music was soft and lower, she thought as she turned back around. Tobin was in the same spot, _bring the spoon up to Tobin’s mouth_ _chris._ She just stood there with the chili that dripped onto her own hand without feeling it.

 _Let her just get a taste,_ her mind urged.

_Movin’ to the tempo, show me what it takes…_

_Speeding up my heartbeat, playing it in the flames._

 “Uh, you can um... Try it.” Christen brought her shaky hand up, Tobin looking down at the hand and looked back up in confusion, “OH!” It finally registered that maybe she should eat it but she has never been spoon fed before, not since she was a baby atleast.

So her hand naturally went up to wrap her hand around Christen’s, bringing it closer and finally, eating the little bit that Christen graced her with.

“Holy, what’s the secret?”

“Family recipe. But, I will…” She put the top on the crockpot and Tobin improvised, going to the refrigerator out of habit to pull out a couple of beers.

“Tell you this, the secret to chili is chili.”

“Huh? What do you…” Tobin opened up the refrigerator, realizing right then and there that it is completely filled with groceries she did not buy.

And her favorite beer.

“Chili to chilli……You even filled up my own refrigerator?”

…

“This was so good,” Tobin took a swipe out of her bowl, “I ate so much!” She sucked the remnants off her forefinger and Christen forced herself to look away, promising herself not to drink another beer.

Tobin leaned all the way back on her chair, just looking at Christen who shied away from her stare, reaching for the bowls. Tobin was only trying to figure Christen’s motives out. And Christen wasn’t stupid either, she could tell that Tobin wanted to ask her something just by the way her fingers drummed on her leg underneath the table.

Tobin watched her get up, frustration starting to kind of settle in. The signals she has gotten from the past hour and a half has put her in a realm only filled with questions. It’s seven thirty and she’s playing house with the girl who had her waiting for a month and a half.

Why.

Tobin downed the rest of her beer while she watched Christen walk away and towards the sink, fingers tapping on the glass table, her patience now wearing thin. Her eyes couldn’t help but venture down, to take a good look at Christen’s butt before feeling more anger rise.

It just didn’t make sense.

She was wearing shorts that highlighted how tan her legs were, and no doubt was the shorts tight on her butt. Maybe she didn’t intend on wearing such a provocative outfit, Tobin thought to herself as she attempted to be rational.

Her tank wasn’t tight but it wasn’t loose either, her lacy white bra showing from the sides. At this point, Tobin was unconsciously picturing Christen naked, the alcohol clearly taking its course and darkening her mind so she looked away.

“I made enough to last you and Allie an extra day, so just make sure you just heat it up again but on the stove, it’s better.“  
“Why are you doing this?” She said it looking into her hands, quietly. Almost, whispering.

Christen froze, turning off the faucet slowly and using that time to gather some kind of backbone, “What do you mean? I’m just—“

“Don’t… Don’t do that Chris.” She was tipsy, but not enough to where she isn’t fully aware of her threatening tone, voice going up a notch. Tobin walked over to where Christen stood in the kitchen and waited for Christen to say something, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’m not doing—“

“One thousand… and eight.”

Confusion spread across Christen’s face when she said the number faster than lightning, having not a single clue what that number symbolized. She looked at Tobin who stood in front of her, more closely trying to buy some time to figure out the number, tilting her head a little to the side before asking her in the most abrupt way ever to clarify.

“What?” There was a sense of wonder behind her statement, Tobin laughing at herself with how absurdly mysterious she was being without any crazy intentions.

“I found out that there are 1008 hours to 42 days… trying to imagine this very moment… Ahhh and we’re sitting here playing house,” She let out an exasperated laugh again, feeling her chest tighten from the way Christen was looking at her, with doe-like eyes, as she laid out her soul bare.

“1008 Hours. The longest hours of my life, went by thinking of you. Thinking of what to say to you. To do the things I wanted to do to you that night in Charleston, and the night in the motel… when I finally see you. Because I missed you more and more Chris, and it made me... It made me realize I can’t do this,” Her hands were moving everywhere around the newly furnished apartment, “I can’t be here, around you. I can’t picture the ending, without you in the picture. Damnit Chris, I want to just… Kiss you right now.”

_Then kiss me._

There was a silence that took Tobin’s breath away, a silence that made Tobin feel like someone was wringing her own heart. Her shoulders fell with Christen just frozen in place, hands just hanging by her sides.

“Say something?”

Christen’s eyebrows raised and a shaky smile appeared, her mouth opening a moment later to speak but Tobin stopped her by bringing one finger up.

“No… No, don’t speak up. Because I know what you’re about to say. Jimmy, you’re with Jimmy and I can’t be saying things like this but Jesus Christen, when will I say it? When it’s too late? When I have no chance of getting you back? I’m tired of waiting Chris. I’m so, done with waiting. 1008—“

“Hours, I know. It felt longer for me, I should’ve told you this a long time ago. Before the draft, to be exact. But. Me and Jimmy… We’re over. We’ve been over and—“

“Anddd you DIDN’T think to TELL ME THIS?!” Tobin covered her mouth, surprised with her own reaction, seeing Christen’s eyebrows shoot up and the two horns appear right when she knitted her eyebrows together, ready to fire back.

She knows when Christen does that and shifts her weight towards the right leg and she starts itching right above her eyebrow, she was in trouble.

“I’m sorry, that, I didn’t mean it that way. Shit, I even caught myself off guard.” Tobin tried to crack a joke and she managed to release some of the tension that was building up, seeing Christen relax again.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to pick up where we left off. I wanted to… forget the past, not Atlanta or Greenville per se, but everything before that.”

“Why though its--”

“Let me finish,” It came out coarsely and shaky, Christen holding her finger up and clearing her throat before speaking back up again, “Because I wanted to start over. But my mom made me realize something, that forgetting the past would be the worst mistake I would be making. I’m sorry Tobin, I really am.”

Closer.

Christen took down a nervous gulp, her arms dropping to her side in defeat because in that moment she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to object nor did she want to move away.  And right when she saw Tobin extend her right hand out to run her thumb across the soft, now red cheek of Christen, she felt woozy. Her left hand went up to match her right hand, resting each hand at the base of her neck.

She took a long look into Christen’s eyes and said the words that her heart willed her to say. Her world was lacking color, only black and white right up until she felt Christen once more. Up until she felt her heartrate increase, bringing the color right back into her life with every fast beat that her heart took.

“Don’t apologize… I don’t want that. I want you. You, Christen Press, are my greatest love story. And I never want to let you go.”

Christen didn’t know what to do with herself, her mouth parting but couldn’t bring the words out. Her mind drifted towards the thought of kissing her, the words she said fueling her fire like the way any accelerant would. Her eyes refused to move down and peek at the lips that she missed, the unacquainted lips that she has forgotten how they felt against her own.

They were so close, one step away from being chest to chest.

Toe to toe.

It amazed Christen with how a simple touch from Tobin was good enough to make everything feel right, to set everything free.

“Now…” Tobin smiled and sighed, “I can think of 1008 reasons why I should kiss you right now.” Tobin’s eyes broke the contact, peeking at the lips, her half smile forming once she saw Christen release her breath into her answer.

“Tobin, stop talking and kiss me already.” She whispered, keeping her eyes on Tobin’s, who took that one step forward without hesitation to close the distance.

Sparks flew.  
Literally.

Physically, even, once their lips found each other after 1008 hours, now 1009. Tobin’s lips craved each Christens, craved the need to remember how they tasted, how they moved against her own. How she could feel those sparks off the soft lips as she opened her mouth slightly to run her tongue across Christen’s lips slowly.

Christen moaned without intending to, showing her clear approval of Tobin’s move. From there, it escalated with Tobin’s confidence suddenly perking up, deepening the kiss and tasting the beer off her tongue. Christen enjoyed every moment, feeling her delicate tongue against hers was a rude awakening.

Showing her how much she has needed Tobin, finally having the chance to release all those emotions she has been feeling for an entire month. Her hands explored slowly, going down Tobin’s sides and down her ass, squeezing and pulling Tobin’s hips into her own, needing more contact than just their chests touching. Tobin reacted by biting down on Christen’s lower lip and sucked on it softly, pulling away only to get a short breather and change the angle of the kiss.

Christen’s antsy hands explored underneath Tobin’s cotton shirt while they made out in the kitchen, dragging her nails upward against Tobin’s bare back, feeling Tobin moan into her mouth from the contact. The _umph_ she made worked Christen up even more, wanting to hear that sound once more.

She felt the satin material and without any hesitation, she let her mind do what it willed her to do. She ran her hands slowly down the small of Tobin’s back, pulling up the cotton shirt without a word. Tobin broke away from the kiss lifted her arms up, letting herself be stripped of her top.

Christen’s eyes exploring tentatively as more and more skin was revealed. Her abs were more defined since the last time Christen has seen them, running her hands across them slowly, like she was mapping out every detail in her head to never forget the sight again.

Tobin relaxed her shoulders staring at Christen with hungry eyes, “Like what you see?” She said it in a husky, confident manner. Christen’s eyes were no longer innocent but dark, pulling away from Tobin and took one step back.

“You have…” She took off her shirt slowly, lifting it over her head and throwing it on the counter, “No idea.”

Christen scanned her body one more time, eyes making their way back up to meet the pair that stared with nothing but despair showing in her eyes. Tobin was the first to make the move, pulling the belt loop of Christen’s shorts to bring Christen back into her, “Bedroom.” She whispers in the other girl’s ear, sending a chill all the way down Christen’s spine when she felt Tobin’s hot breath against her ear.

Christen’s ginormous smile appeared as Tobin started leaving a trail of open kisses along her jaw, the feeling all too ticklish until Tobin’s hand gave her breast a strong squeeze through the bra. Christen moaned at the contact, “Fuck Tobin.” Her eyes rolled back in a daze, feeling a sharp pain from when Tobin bit down on her neck, soothing it with her strong, experienced tongue after she sucked on it enough but not enough to create what Christen hates the most.

“Bedroom.”

Was the only word she was able to manage out, taking one step forward. Tobin matched her step by taking one back like they were doing the Tango, dancing in large flames that the two set the moment they stepped into the apartment. Tobin let herself be guided as Christen’s hands pulled her in from the waist but her legs marched forward impatiently.

They kissed their way towards Tobin’s bedroom, bumping into a few walls laughing against each other’s lips before finding the door, hastily pushing it open as their hips collided with each other.

Tobin fumbled with the buttons of Christen’s shorts while Christen pushed down Tobin’s soccer sweats, pushing Tobin all the way back and lifted her up with ease onto the high bed. She didn’t wait for Tobin to take off the shorts; instead, she stood there, slowly wriggling out of her shorts, a white lacy thong that matched her bra slowly came into sight, knowing how Tobin was watching her like a hawk.

“I knew you wore those shorts for me. Clearly since they’re too tight.”

“I didn’t know that my ass grew an ass at the time I picked out the outfit,” Christen stepped out of her shorts and pushed apart Tobin’s legs apart with a smile full of mischief, “It’s not like you were complaining.”

“No I wasn’t but…” Her voice disappeared once Christen climbed on top of the bed on all fours, looking sexier than ever, moving closer and closer to Tobin. She had to remind herself to breathe, the pressure between her legs reaching its tipping point while watching her in anticipation of the events that were about to unfold after this moment.

She kept moving forward though, pushing Tobin’s shoulder gently with her hand so that her back met against the cold, grey comforter. Their breathing was normal, Christen’s heartbeat no longer racing.

Christen looked down at the girl beneath her, in just a black satin bra and black boxer panties. She was more beautiful than ever, fire in her eyes and in her heart.

“I never stopped loving you, Tobin Heath.” Christen moved aside the loose hairs on her face, her own hair hanging at the side of Tobin’s face.

“I couldn’t even if I tried.”

She lifted herself up off her elbows after she heard Tobin say that. Now she was on her knees, reaching back around her to unclasp her bra. Tobin watched carefully, her mouth turning dry as she saw Christen's bare breasts appear in sight.

Tobin pushed herself up and took down Christen with one swift move, trading places. She pulled the thong down with Christen’s help. Now she was completely naked, Tobin started planting kisses from the inside of Christen's leg, feeling the girl's muscles contract with every touch. She planted more open kisses as she made her way past Christen's stomach, loving the way Christen's lower back archs into her touch and how her legs tighten against her own body. She went further up, wanting nothing more than to just kiss Christen's lips.

This time, gentler and slower as she rocked into her one time, this time Christen's hips bucked upwards, turning Tobin on even more at the feel of her bare hips against hers. Her mouth left Christen’s, kissing her jaw and down her neck, feeling Christen’s hand tussled in her hair as she moved lower and lower to begin her real adventure.

One thousand and eight hours of picturing this moment and it was far better than she imagined it would be. One thousand and eight hours of waiting, of patience.

Now, she has Christen all to herself.

For the next twelve hours of her life.

The feeling of Christen beneath her, it felt magical.

The perfect, victory.

\--

“HONEYYYY, I’m HOMEEEE.”

Christen gasped and shot up in bed, along with the white sheets covering her naked torso. Tobin was still sleeping, sprawled out on her stomach. Her smooth back was showing now, but it didn’t bother her at all. She kept sleeping.

“Tobin!” She whisper-yelled, hearing Allie call out on Tobin again.

“Oooo, what’s this chili? I never knew you cooked TOBIN GET UP!”

“TOBIN!”

“HUH I’m UP!” Tobin’s head shot up, her eyes were puffy from the sleep. She didn’t realize Allie was home, looking at Christen coyly, “You were amazing last night, one more round?”

Christen looked at the doorway innocently, seeing the tall figure with bright blonde hair leaning against the doorway smirking at the two. Tobin smiled weakly before her head crashed back down on the fluffy pillow.

“Tobin.”

“Hmm?”

“You should probably get up.” Allie spoke up this time, Tobin’s eyes widened from the surprise. Christen covered Tobin’s back and Allie laughed hysterically, “Oh honey I’ve seen her naked one too many times.”

Christen nodded slowly, “I’m sorry, I was expecting you to come in around 12?”

“Christen, it’s 12:30.”

And all she did was nod slowly yet again, “Do you want some breakfast?”

“I brought lunch.” Allie lifted up a bag that had the big red, chick-fil-a emblem. Christen’s eyes followed the bag and felt her stomach grumble.

_This morning couldn’t get any worse._

“Cool.”

She stared at Allie, wondering if she should tell her to maybe close the door or would it be too rude. All she did was stare in hopes that she would get the message.

_Any day now._

_It's been five seconds of awkward silence...Okay any day._

“Oh, right.” She clicked her tongue and pushed off the side, closing the door behind her. Christen shook her head and glared at Tobin who was too calm and reserved for getting caught like that, “Are you serious?”

“You’ll get used to it.”

\--

One week passed by, Christen ended up skipping out on her train back to Washington, staying with Tobin for four more days, leaving right after to get prepared for the camp that was starting in two days.

This time, their farewell wasn’t all that harsh on the both of them, expecting to see each other once again in Camp.

And the excitement was all too real.

Day 1: February Camp

Tobin flew into California the day before the camp started, having little time to adjust to the tempo of things. Not able to see Christen before this big moment of her life, it kind of made her nervous.

She was hoping that Christen can talk her into thinking that this was like any other ordinary day at practice but it wasn’t. Tobin was just outside a battleground, each person fighting for a spot or to keep their spot on the 24-man roster.

She sat there in the parking lot, looking at the _huge_ stadium, paired with a smaller one which she was right next to. It took her maybe an hour to find where the camp would be held at in Los Angeles, getting lost multiple times and taking wrong turns. There were a few soccer fields that were clearly for training on the side, Tobin hoping to play inside of the stadium and not on those, boring grounds.

_Just don’t fangirl, what would Christen say? Oh, that’s easy. Just play your heart out Tobs, play the game you love._

Wearing that crest… that she was ready to fight for, to represent the country in the best way. That’s every athlete’s dream if you want to make the sport you love your career.  She’s always been a dreamer, Tobin that is. She imagined herself winning the world cup right next to Christen, Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan, Ali Krieger, Kelly O’Hara, Rapinoe… Shit, she watched these players play for month and now, she’s obsessed with them.

Well Christen, different obsession.

And Allie, never forget Allie.

_Wish u were here. What would Allie say?_

“Let’s do this BIIITCHES!”

To represent America and make our people proud in women’s sports, something that has always been ridiculed throughout the years, is a dream come true.

Just like Mia Hamm did years back.

“Remember Tobin, treat those players like they’re any other player. Inhala, Exhala.” She opened the door of her rental, warm humid air hitting her, _won’t get used to this weather._  It sucked, that’s the first thought that ran across her mind.

It, sucked.

I gotta get used to it, she thought, “I can get used to this.”

And with a smile as big as the sun, she tailed the blonde girl who appeared out of nowhere wearing baggy, grey sweats with an oversized pullover and a black bag with a bright crest and a nike swoosh right under it. She had on a blue headband, clearly a girl who was already on the roster.

 _Just keep swi…walking. Is that Julie Johnston? Oh man, oh man. Ohhh stop it Tobin, stop. STOP!_ She felt herself starting to skip in excitement, seeing her potential teammate, her mind telling her to stop being such a freshman.

Oh wait, a rookie.

The facility was so modern, nothing like the McCaskil center back home. It was ten times bigger, bright white lights and actual, security guards. Not some, fat white guy but a buff, fit man that looked like he was secret service.

Julie stopped at the front desk, checking herself in silently. Tobin waited behind her, biting her lip from the nerves. _Checking into my new home, how bow DAH!_ Tobin laughed at her own thought, turning red once Julie turned around with her eyebrows raised.

“Oh, I wasn’t laughing at you. I, had a um, I had a thought and it was funny. To you know, me. Ahhh, I’m Tobin.”

Julie laughed and took Tobin’s hand that was hanging in the loose air, “Julie--”

“Johnston,” Tobin’s hand shot up to her mouth, “I. Don’t know where that came from but—“  
“It’s okaaaay Heath, take it easy.” She says with a wink, patting her shoulder as she scooted by, “As long as you don’t do that with Alex... Her head is as big as her ass. And well, quads. Calves. Damn, just don’t do it.”

“Duly noted. Oh, wait, I already…” Julie already walked off, _met her._

\--

She walked into the place with her UNC issued gear, looking for Christen once she stepped into the meeting room. It was different than what she expected, a bunch of girls with game faces on, ready to play soccer. But no.

It wasn’t like that.

Crystal Dunn was in the front of the room, dancing to her own rendition of Whitney Houston’s “Iiiii Wanna dance with somebody!” song while Alex laughed away with her back against the wall and one foot propped up, snapchatting the whole dance.

There were no cliques, just a bunch of girls genuinely happy, laughing with each other and how excited they were with uniting once more.

 _Family, I could get used to this._  

There was one podium, and a bunch of chairs. Tobin making a wild guess, she would say there was 30 chairs. Jill, all in red, had her glasses while talking to her other assistants, peeking at her chart in her hand.

She saw an empty seat next to Ali Freaking Krieger, _oh my god oh my god_ were the exact words that ran through her mind, thinking she was going to go take that seat _._ That girl crush that was literally crushed when she found out Ashlyn was with her, and ofcourse…

Ashlyn walked up to take the seat next to her.

And right in front of Ashlyn, was Christen laughing away with Kelley, her eye hooked on the huge smile and hearing the infectious laugh from the back of the small room. Christen glanced in her direction but looked away, seconds later looking back after realizing who it was.

They held their stare for a moment too long, Kelley following Christen’s eyes and Tobin immediately moving towards the first empty seat in the back row. _Chris, seriously, I’m talking._ Were the words Tobin read off Kelley’s lips when Christen made a double take. She saw Christen was about to get up but Jill starting speaking.

“Okay ladies, welcome to the first camp of 2017!”

There were a few cheers from the girls who’ve been on the team for years, none from the call-ups end. Tobin smiled at her and walked towards the first empty seat of the back row, sitting next to the seventeen yearold Phenom that got called up as well.

The girl next to her nearly jumped in her seat, _aren’t you a little ray of sunshine._

“Oh my god, Tobin Heath. I’m Mallory Pugh but u can call me mal, pug. But, preferably Mal.” She tried to whisper it but couldn’t conceal her excitement, therefore could not whisper.

"We have one more coming in tomorrow, slight mixup causing a delay..." Jill continued but Tobin wasn't paying attention, all her focus was on the small girl next to her.

“Hey Mal, you already know who I am?”  
“Ah-duh, you’re the talk around here.”

Tobin’s lower lip extended out and slowly nodded away from looking at the young girl to the coach, _people already find me intimidating. But Mal obviously, good._

“… Be tested on Fitness and will be training two times a day, scrimmaging every day. You all already know how it is, lets begin.”

Jill went through the presentation so fast, Tobin had no idea what was going on. She lightened up the air by managing to crack a few jokes to lighten up the air, and Tobin must give it to her.

She was pretty damn funny.

The only one of the call-ups that were friendly was Mallory. All the other girls were so not cool, how Tobin described each in her head. One was prissy while the other was mean, too mean almost.

They were separated into two groups and luckily, she was placed into Christen’s group, Mallory following right behind her. She walked up to the line, right next to Christen who was talking with Julie now.

“So I see you’ve met Julie, already fangirling?” Tobin felt the heat rise up her neck, grabbing onto her collar and bringing her chin down to her chest in hopes that her fists will cover some of her neck.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it _fannnngirling_ , I mean, I—“  
“I’m just kidding, Julie was telling me how cute my _girlfriend_ is.”

Tobin pointed at herself and tried her best to look as innocent as possible, “Me?”  
“Yes you, I was actually just telling her how bad I’m going to smoke you on this test.”

Tobin pointed to herself again and brought her head back laughing at how there is an actual, high potential chance of Christen beating her on the beep test. She just didn’t want to admit it.

“In your dreams baby girl.”

She jumped up and down lightly, looking over at Christen just to see that smile one more time before they ran the beep test. Christen caught her looking and Tobin looked away smiling, “What?”

“Nothin’, you’re just beautiful.”

Christen just shook her head and smiled, unable to say anything, wanting to just kiss her on the cheek for the compliment right then and there but held back the urge.

“Wait, so are you two like… a thing?” Mallory looked over at Christen and then Tobin, waiting for an answer.

Tobin smirked and looked straight ahead at the wall with UWNT painted from side to side and then back at Mallory.

“Oh, we are definitely a thing. And I'm about to kick her ass.”

"Bring it on, Heath."


	15. Nutmegs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh. The kudos. I swear I was shook. Love you guys, thank you AGAIN.

The night before Camp:

With Tobin leaving the day before the camp that she fought so hard to be in, Allie had the day to herself. She ran errands much of the day while sporting a navy blue, lulu sweatshirt paired with their black, align leggings and a Rulu scarf for the muggy, cold Oregon weather. Where it would be 60 and nothing but clear skies in North Carolina... it’s been nothing but cold, rain and dark clouds that shadowed over the city.

After a solid few hours spent walking in the mall that she was no where near acquainted with just to kill time, she found herself at a Nike outlet store buying another pair of Cleats that were red. She knew that wearing blue and white cleats for her first practice would unwise since the red stars main colors included the same exact shade of blue, which happens to be the color of her favorite cleats. So, she went ahead and splurged on some gear.

After she did all her shopping which somewhat soothed away the pain of Tobin getting invited and her not, she had an idea. An idea, that she knew Tobin wouldn’t like but she went along with it anyways.

What’s so wrong in adopting a dog? Absolutely nothing.

_We can’t afford a dog right now!_

Tobin’s voice popped up in her head as she scoped out the dogs, _yeah well, I’m going to do it anyways._ She kept arguing in her own mind, trying to convince herself that was she was doing isn’t irresponsible in any way, _You’re saving a dog’s life._

“Anything we can help you with?”

Allie was startled by the monotonous tone behind her, disrupting her deep thoughts. She turned around to see a girl who looked to be still in highschool. She was as tall as her, but had the face of a baby.

 _God, why am I so old._  
“Uhhhhhh,” _Allie, this is so wrong. We are just now getting situated._ Tobin’s voice popped up again, Allie imagining her lanky arms swinging around everywhere as she argued her case. She was sure her own mind was telling her not to do this. She caught herself staring at the girl, who was clearly starting to get uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, I was just… Looking around.”

_Damn you Tobin._

“Wait, are you Allie Long… You just got drafted!!!”

 _She really knows who I am?_ A giant smile appeared from Allie’s end, “That would be me! You watch Soccer?”

“Ofcourse I do, I play center mid for my high school. You have no idea how much we needed you and Tobin Heath, literally. Godsent.”

“Well, I am here to help.”

“Can’t wait to see you on the field!”

“If I get that starting position.” She gave her a small chuckle after the girl reassured her that she would _definitely_ get that starting position, all she had to do was prove them wrong. Allie switched the topic quickly after hearing the same words she’s pretty much lived by all her life.

_Always trying to prove someone wrong._

“So... what is... the fattest, laziest dog in this clinic for me to take home?”

“Wait,” The girl gave her a puzzled look, “I thought you were just looking around?”

“Well, I changed my mind.”

The girl flashed a smile and ushered Allie to follow her, talking as they walked by the barking dogs, “I know the perfect one.”

\--

“I GOT a DOG!!”

She sat in her awkwardly silent living room of her apartment drinking red wine, flipping through all the channels until she finally settled on watching cupcake wars. Tobin rubbed her eye with her free hand before yawning loudly, “Wait…” Her eyes widened from the shock when what Allie just said finally registered, “You did WHAT!”

“Doggy, c’mere.” She looked at the big dog sprawled beside her out on Tobin’s leather couch, waving him over and he peeked at her raising his head but it fell back down. He refused to move and she looked back at Tobin, “He won’t move.”

“Alexandra Linsley Long so help me god if he is on MY COUCH.”

“Bro!” She hissed through her teeth, finally getting the dog to come beside her, “Good doggy.”

_Wait, Bro…dy. The perfect name. Brody._

“Why does he look like a teddy bear?”

“BE-cause Harry, he’s a Goldendoodle.”

“We’re. Taking. Him. Back.”

“No, we…Are. Not.” She started giggling with how well she mocked Tobin, upsetting her even more. He moved positions, the 40 pound dog now finding comfort on Allie’s lap. _Funny, Bati does the same thing..._ She thought as Tobin continued to argue. Her wine almost dropped all over his soft fur, holding the glass up in the air as he settled on her. Tobin looked tired, unable to contest with her best friend about the dog but she tried anyways.

“We can’t afford a dog right—“ A call came in, interrupting her facetime with Tobin, _Strange. I don’t know anyone from LA?_

“Harry I’ll call you back.”

“Are you han—“

“Call-you-back.” She said rapidly, tapping the red phone on her laptop and answering the call on her phone in a superstitious manner, a hint of confusion in her tone.

“Hi, I’m Jill Ellis and I’m calling to tell you some good news. I know this is very unorthodox, but since the first camp of 2017 is just now starting, we have no choice…”

 _Brody, Off,_ She mouthed the words silently through her clenched teeth as if the dog can hear her. She put her glass down on the table next to her laptop, the wine flushing out of her system once she heard the foreign accent. She tried to get up but the big dog wouldn’t budge, _BRODY!_

“…since one of our best players is retiring, her spot as expected was not going to be filled up…”

She was grunting as she tried to push the dog off of her with her left arm, _swear I’m taking you back, god is this happening right now. Worst, bro, ever._

“...Which is why…Are you okay?” She stopped mid-sentence, Allie freezing and feeling the blood drain out of her face at rapid speeds, “Yes. Yes, I’m okay. Proceed.”

_PROCEED ALLIE??? Who is she, your servant?!_

_“_ Which is why, we are offering to you, to be our thirtieth player in our camp.”

“God.”  
Brody grunted and lifted himself off Allies strong thighs after she tried scooting left into the armrest of Tobin’s favorite leather couch.

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Yes.”

_Just yes?_

“Oh my god, yes. Thank you for the opportunity and considering me!” Allie’s instincts kicked in, surprising Jill on the other end with the sudden burst of energy, "I will not disappoint you, Jill."

“Oookay well, I already sent you the information. See you there, Allie.”

“See you there.” Jill was the first to hang up, Allie threw her phone on the couch next to Brody and jumped off. She started jumping up and down, squealing like a child scoring her first goal. Twerking was a necessity for Allie, having to do it as a celebration. Normally, she’d do it on the couch just to bother Tobin but she wasn’t there.

The only one there was that damn dog, eyeing her like she's some crazy wombat out of hell.

“Yep, you have to go.”

…

Fast forwarding a complicated day of pure torture and three flight delays later, Allie made it to where the entire team stayed. She figured out all the details through the assistant of the head coach, making it to her room around midnight.

She struggled with the white keycard denying her access to the room, “Please don’t do this to meeeee.” She pleaded, pulling the card out and giving it one last final blow of air in hopes that the trick will do. She put it in slowly and heard a click at the same time seeing the green light appear, breathing out a sigh of relief as she flung her weight onto the door.

She was happy to see her bed made, but there was one more bed that she could see through the darkness of the room, _unmade_. She took one very slow step into the dark room, and another…

And one more…

“POOKIE BOOH!”

A tall girl with short, brown hair appeared out of no-where, startling Allie half to death. Allie had her hands up like a deer in a pair of headlights, hearing the small thud of her suitcase and carry-on hitting the floor.

The light of the hallway showed the features of the girl, who has a beautifully sculpted jaw and high cheeks. It took her a minute to remember where the phrase came from, flashing back to all the summers she spent in Cocoa Beach, Florida.

Her Summer home came into mind, remembering the long blonde hair of a child who looked like a copy image of Allie when she was younger. Where they connected by playing with each other’s hair during sleepovers in the forts made from blankets, and playing Soccer on the beach.

“Pookie?”

Saying the name was when her neurons went into full, power mode. Images of the two playing hide and seek in the large, white home next to the sandy beach, scaring each other every chance they could, popped up in her mind. It was their thing.

The “Pookie-booh” scare. Instead of saying Peek-Ah-Boo or _just_ Boo, they would say Pookie-Booh. 

Ashlyn repeated the name but as a question, "POOKIE?!!" She said it laughing as she drew closer to Allie who screamed out _oh my god POOKIEEEE BEAR,_ hugging Ashlyn tightly. She was so shocked from the reunion that she wouldn’t let go, “I can’t believe it’s you!”

“I can’t either!! When I heard you were taking captain America’s spot in the camp by Carli, I couldn’t believe my ears.”

Allie let go of Ashlyn, both hands on her old friend’s strong shoulders, “I can’t believe it. Your hair.”

“Uh yaaaah about that, I needed some change.” They stood there just smiling at each other for a moment, Ashlyn deciding to break the silence between the two.

“Let’s catch up.”

\--

The first day of training was relatively easy for Tobin. Her level of intensity with training got her ready for the tests that were thrown at each player.

The structure of the first day of camp was very much like the combine, starting out the morning with a beep test. It involved 20 meters of nothing but running, the time between each "beep" coming in closer together as time progressed. She placed third in the beep test -- Christen being second and Kelley being first with a record breaking 68 as her score.

And then there were stations targeting different parts of the game. While one recorded times with long sprints, the other recorded times of cone drills. While one recorded explosive power, the other tested each player’s vertical and long jump. It was a jumbled mess but Tobin took the time to connect with a lot of the players during breaks, getting to know them better than what she learned on the internet. She put aside the idea of acting indifferently towards them to make a good first impression. Instead, she was just being her and every player ended up adoring her.

They all felt like a second family to her.

Like, she never left home.

Tobin had one of the highest score on every test, doing better than every new call up (Especially Rapinoe) until they finally went onto the field for shooting drills. That was when Mallory bested her on reps but Tobin was way more accurate. After those drills, they separated the team into groups based on the positions they played, testing their IQ.

She practiced day in and day out on mastering the corner before the camp. Wherever the coach wanted the ball was where Tobin kicked it to, it was too easy for her. She was by far the best of all midfielders and forwards with the corner kicks, perfecting the short corner drill enough to impress the coaches that watched her carefully.

After a scrimmage that Tobin struggled with in the first half trying to get used to the pace, they called it a day. And in Tobin’s eyes, this day was a victory in the books, especially after scoring a goal by volleying it over the Alyssa Naeher to the lower corner of the opposite side. Instead of Alyssa being a spoil sport about it, she actually congratulated Tobin on the perfect placement of the ball. But that was the last time Tobin scored on Alyssa that night.

They gathered for team dinner, Tobin not being able to sit next to Christen in the crowded, Mexican restaurant because she was sitting with the veterans. The two would sneak glances at each other at opposite ends of the long table but not getting to speak to each other. It was slow torture for Tobin, unable to sneak off from the dinner that one time Christen excused herself from the table go to the restroom. She failed because of Mallory unintentionally dragged her back down from her hand underneath the table to talk more about UNC.

She was trapped by her own teammates.

So, the whole day went by with neither of them talking to each other.

…

Every new person in the camp was randomly assigned to someone who’s been a part of the roster just to connect with each other. But Tobin’s roommate, Morgan who goes by Moe, just left to hang out with “Cassius and Sydney”. Tobin didn’t ask if she could come with because normally, someone would invite her to tag along but she never did.

She just, left.

Tobin took this time to herself, wanting to text Christen but it was only their first night in the camp, respecting Moe’s presence was more important to her. The last thing she wanted was for Moe to walk in and catch them red handed. She Facetimed Allie and then showered upset, thinking about a big, fat dog drooling on her couch. She decided to throw on a sports bra under her tank because she was too shy to not wear one on her first night with Moe. She put on a pair of her gameday shorts from her days at UNC that came just above mid-thigh and some blue Nike socks that came just below her calves.

She paced the room kicking the ball in front of her but keeping it close, passing time as she listened to songs that recently got released out loud. Five strolls across the room juggling the ball later was when she heard the light knock on the door, _she couldn’t have gotten enough of that baby this fast..._

_He has more followers on Instagram than I do. A baby who isn't even one yet. The size of my pinky toe._

She paused the song that was playing and threw the phone on her twin bed, jogging slowly towards the door as she juggled the ball back and forth. Tobin stopped juggling and heeled the ball back into her room while lazily swinging open the door, expecting Moe but found Christen just standing there.

No matter how many times she has seen Christen, she still took her breath away every single time. Even though Tobin is probably one of the clumsiest soccer players out there, Tobin was still as smooth as a baby’s butt.

But when Tobin sees Christen, she has her tripping over her own words. And Christen has her falling harder and harder every time she looks into those serene eyes. Or seeing the megawatt smile that would form when she sees Tobin. Those were now the moments Tobin now lived for, not scoring the goals or hearing the crowd chant her name after scoring.

It was seeing Christen laugh or smile. That, was her  _goal._

Tobin peeked out left and right of Christen to make sure no one sees them, _wait, do I have to?_ She leaned her weight on the heavy door, scanning the sun-kissed woman right infront of her.

_How did I get so lucky?_

She must’ve said her thought out loud, seeing Christen’s cheeks get slightly redder at the words. Christen rolled her eyes and pushed her way through, planting a quick kiss on Tobin’s cheek.

“Could ask myself the same question,” She pointed at the ball infront near the other end of the room, “Trying to bounce back from that loss in the Scrimmage?”

Tobin let the door shut on its own, turning around to see Christen playing with the red and orange ball sitting on Moe’s high bed. Tobin shrugged and stood in front of her, “I gave you that ball.” She says with a grin, leaning down to give her a much more intimate kiss than just a quick peck on the cheek. Christen started smiling against Tobin’s lips after the short and sweet kiss that lingered on both their souls, reviving them back to life after the long, hard day of training.

“Noooo, I beat you to the ball,” She corrected with a wink, “Can’t just accept defeat can ya?”

“Technically speaking, my team won 2-1 so…” Christen kicked the ball right between Tobin’s legs, quirking her eyebrow up to silence Tobin, who backed away with her hand on her chest, “Did you just challenge me to a DUEL?”

“You’re such a nerd. I didn’t come here for a _duel_ ,” She reached forward but Tobin evaded her arm, “I missed you.”

“Ohhhhohohoooo-OLD UP!” Tobin popped the P before faking a pained expression as she attempted to regain her breath and flipped her ponytail over her shoulder, “You can’t nutmeg the nutmeg-GERRR…EEER.” She prolonged the last syllable eliciting a laugh coming from Christen who hid her face with her hand, “…AND not give her a chance to redeem herself. And say you _miss her, like_  what??”

She was trying to be serious, scoffing and rolling her eyes. She cocked both eyebrows up, widening her eyes looking at Christen’s feet as she mouthed the words, _get up,_ silently. Christen let out an exaggerated sigh, trying to act unconcerned and walked out in front of Tobin, excited but nervous to see where this goes. It was like a total reenactment of Harry Potter’s duel with Draco Malfoy but, Tobin’s edition. Instead of taking five steps away from the girl, she was maybe two steps away.

“What now?” She whispers, taking in Tobin’s hand as Tobin watched carefully, methodically rubbing her thumb against the soft skin in a back and forth motion, hoping to get out of this game and skip right to the good part. It effected Tobin but not enough, Christen catching the gulp Tobin took before she got pushed away gently.

“There are…” Tobin cleared her throat and watched Christen try to grind her gears by taking her own bottom lip and releasing slowly, “Rules.”

The way she said it showed how nervous Tobin was. Christen felt her own heart speed up, a sly smile forming on her lips, “Oh?”

_Step your game up Tobin._

“Mhm…” It was Tobin’s turn to tease, taking a step forward to play with the hem of Christen’s shirt, “One rule. Every time I nutmeg you… Well, you have to _strip_.” She backed away with her arms out and with a glamorous smile that shined a hole right through Christen’s heart, “Same goes for me too obviously.”

“Fair enough,” She touched around on the floor expecting the ball to be where she left it, not wanting to break the stare down first. What she didn’t realize was Tobin only getting close to roll the ball behind her, letting her get first dibs on the attempt at a nutmeg.

“Cheater,” _Genius,_ “I already nutmegged you though.”

“No, a genius.”

_Did she just read my mind?_

Christen’s competitive edge was brought out, Tobin laughing as she bent down giving what Christen wants. She expected her to take those ridiculously white shorts off but instead, she reached further down to take off her socks. She threw them behind her and in that instance, Christen wanted to facepalm herself after realizing she actually helped her and dug herself into a deeper hole.

“If you wanted me naked, you could’ve just asked...”  Christen said smiling as she got into a defensive position, her legs closer together and hips pointed at an angle to try and force Tobin into the corner of hotel room's back wall.

“Now, where’s the fun in that Ms. Press?”

Tobin baited Christen into reaching in with her right foot for the ball that settled next to Tobin’s left foot, pulling it back instantly and pushing it behind her to the other side. Christen laughed knowing she just got played, Tobin’s feet were too quick for her as she caught it with the _same exact foot_ , eyeing only the ball at this point. Not even a second later, Tobin rolled the ball right through her legs that she could have sworn were closed at the time.

_Okay resort to plan B._

“I gave you that one.” Christen mimicked Tobin while she walked off and turned around. Tobin was already showing that undeniably cute half smile of hers, her head motioning her to take it off.

“Can’t just take a loss, can _ya_?”

Christen much obliged, hands reaching for opposite ends of her large pullover and took it off as seductively and slow as she could. She extended her arm out bunching a chunk of the pullover with her strong hand, letting it drop onto the bed next to her as she tilted her head to the side, watching Tobin lick her upper lip. She was now in a crimson red pushup bra, Christen thankful at that moment for coming prepared.

“Pretty sure it’s a win-win for the both of us, Tobin.” Once she said the words in a hasty manner, Christen marched forward faster than before, taking Tobin by surprise because she was too busy trying to figure out her next maneuver.

She had to react quickly because Christen learned from her last mistake, attacking straight ahead rather than trying to trap her. Tobin tried to step over the ball and fake, banking on the fact that most her defenders would stutter but Christen wasn’t like any other defender.

She didn’t get faked.

The ball deflected off of the inside of Christen’s foot after Tobin tried for a nutmeg, going right back to Tobin but right through her own, legs that were spread apart.

_Did I just nutmeg myself?_

_Plan B = Success._

The ball bounced off the wall and went right back through Tobin’s legs and back into Christen’s feet, “That’s totally two.”

“TOTALLY...NOT?”

“Rules are Rules, Tobin.”

_Rules were so meant to be broken._

Tobin rolled her eyes, “Whatever.”

“Besides…” Christen’s hand started at the top of Tobin’s shoulder and her fingertips went all the way down her toned arm, leaving a trail of fire at its wake that eventually put Tobin’s heart into overdrive, “Anything to get you out of those clothes.”

She took a step back with an evil grin on her face as she rubbed her hands together slowly, “Strip baby, _strip._ ”

Tobin put on a show for Christen who was practically dancing as she laughed away from where she stood, taking off her shorts to reveal a pair of light blue boyshorts that was perfect for her complexion. “Even blue…” Christen’s mouth watered up as soon, her own words drowned at the sight of Tobin when she lifted the long tank up from the collar and not the other end of the shirt. She was flexing unintentionally, allowing Christen to count every one of those abs on both hands.

Her mind drifted towards the tight, lulu sports bra that she was wearing that pushed up her breasts just enough for Christen to gawk over.

_How am I going to win now?_

The sexual frustration made it much harder for Christen focus, all the small, snuck in compliments during training and on the field during scrimmages added up. But this…

This had a much different effect on Christen, turning her on and sending her to another galaxy.

_Who would have ever thought I would be playing strip soccer with a girl I once advised._

Tobin surged forward before Christen could react, taking the ball back from her girlfriend who now had her arms out but couldn’t speak from the shock she had just endured. It was enough for Tobin to read her mind, holding her shrug at the very top.

“Your fault, the ball was in play.”

At this point, Christen wanted to lose. Taking one large step forward slowly, enough for Tobin to slice it right through with quickness. Christen smirked, taking her shorts down fast and taking a few steps back as Tobin watched the red, red material appear.

“Always coming prepared.”

“Well, I know how much you love lace.” Christen hooked her fingers under the see-through lace and toyed as she observed Tobin’s eyes venture towards her hands, eager to walk over there and say _fuck_ strip soccer.

_Play on, play. On._

She started moving the ball between her feet quickly, baiting Christen again. When Christen was in close enough proximity with Tobin, Tobin rolled the ball around Christen’s foot, heeling it through Christen’s legs from behind.

Neither of them looked at the ball go through Christen’s legs. Instead, Christen walked, actually... practically gliding, towards Tobin, pushing her all the way back.

“You win.”

“Wait.” Tobin brought her hand up, realizing that there was something missing, her back against the wall with Christen one step away.

“What about Moe?”

“Was waiting for you to ask that…” She closed off the distance, peppering one kiss right behind Tobin’s ear, “Who do you think made her leave so fast?”

Tobin took in a deep, shaky breath as she felt her lips move lower and lower down the length of her neck, each word hitting straight to her heart and ricocheting right down to her core. Christen pulled the hair tie out of Tobin’s hair at the same time, pressure growing faster than a lightning meeting the ground with Christen tugging at her hair.

Once her hair was released, Christen pulled back dropping the tie on the floor, eyeing the girl standing before her. Her thumb grazed Tobin’s bottom lip as it went lower, “You’re so beautiful.”

The same hand now rested at the base of Tobin's skull. Christen’s eyes started moving from Tobin’s eyes to her lips, looking back up for a second before closing her eyes to close off the remaining distance, longing to taste Tobin again. She took her time with the kiss, like it was their first. Like she was taking all the precautionary steps to see how far she can take the kiss. Testing her own limits by opening her mouth slightly, her tongue was now pleading for entry.

Which, Tobin gave in almost instantly. From there, the kiss went slightly deeper, their tongues were moving with each other but not for control. They took turns exploring each other’s mouth languidly and patiently, increasing not just the rate of the kiss faster and faster as time progressed, but their heartbeats as well. Chest to chest, Christen's hand pulled at Tobin’s waist, going lower and lower, firmly gripping Tobin’s thigh to pull her in closer, needing more friction.

She could feel the power coursing through her, the sense that she was the one in control and she loved it. She drove her leg upward slowly, feeling the vibrations of Tobin’s moan go right through her own mouth while seeing Tobin’s eyes roll back.

“Fuck…” Tobin said hoarsely in between her labored breaths, hearing one more moan but louder compared to the last one when Christen worked her again, leaving Tobin’s mouth to simultaneously suck softly on Tobin’s tender soft spot.

When she grinded upward, Tobin anticipated it, her instincts kicking in to drive down for more pleasure. Hearing her and feeling her against her made Christen repeat the same movement. This time harder as their kiss deepened even further, teeth now clashing with each other as well as their own tongues now battling for control.

Christen couldn’t hold back a moan of her own, peeling Tobin off the wall. Her strong hands settled on Tobin’s butt, pulling her up giving Tobin enough time to wrap both her legs around Christen’s waist. She hobbled over to the bed, putting her down as gently as she could. Seconds later, finding her place right between Tobin’s legs that were already spread apart.

Christen started placing wet kisses up Tobin’s stomach, running her tongue across her navel, her hands locking Tobin’s hips down on the bed. She couldn’t control her movements or the sounds she was making from how good Christen's tongue moved, or how she sucked on spots that Tobin didn't even know made her feel pleasure. Her lower back would arch into Christen’s touch as she bit down on her own bottom lip, closing her eyes…loving and hating the way Christen was taking her time with her.

“Chris…”

The other girl hummed, suddenly feeling Christen’s lips ghost over her own, “What do you want?”

Tobin hands wrapped around Christen’s neck as she took her time swallowing and looking into the now blue-grey eyes. She smiled, her breathing now under control and even.

“I want you…to make love to me.”

Christen held her stare with Tobin for a moment while smiling down at her, “I love you.”

Tobin reached up at the vulnerable girl, cupping her cheek, vowing to herself at that moment that she will never lose this girl again. 

That she was never going to let her down again.

“What did I ever do to deserve you.” She croaked out the question, unable to hold it back. The last thing she wanted to do was kill the mood but it made Christen lean back away a little from the kiss she was about to put on Tobin’s lips. She was just so happy, filled with so much joy and ecstasy, but behind all those layers of emotions… she still felt like she was the last person on earth to deserve to be in the arms of Christen after what she did to her.

That kind of guilt never leaves you, like motor oil with skin.

“Oh Tobin…” Her thumb brushed the soft, flushed cheeks of Tobin’s face and leaned down to kiss her so softly, that it felt magical.

“Just being _who you are_ … and being with you, I discovered _who I was_. You reminded me of what I was missing. I found my way back, because of you.”

And when she said those words, Tobin felt the stain of the guilt lift itself off her heart.

“So… So, glad I had no idea where my own office was that day.”

Both of them laughed into their next kiss with Christen’s attempt to lighten the mood.

“So glad I was there to help you to the office that was about like... ten steps away?”

"Oh hush..." Christen laughed even more, pushing off the bed to settle on her knees. She began pulling back to take off the panties, a movement that was long overdue, “Maybe I just wanted you to walk with me?” She dropped it on the floor next to the bed that was large enough for the two of them to fit.

Tobin propped herself up by her elbows and tilted her head, smiling from ear to ear.

“Really?”

“Tobin, look at where I am right now, is this really what you want to talk about right now?”

_Avoiding the question like a pro._

Tobin laughed and pushed herself up, taking down Christen soon after who wasn’t expecting Tobin to have enough strength to do so, bursting into a fit of laughter. She wrapped her leg around Christen’s and repeated the question, no longer wanting to fulfill her desire to be touched but to just hear Christen say it out loud.

“Now you're no longer there anymore... But really?”

_Why did I ever tell her that?_

“So what if I did?”

\--

Tobin ended up putting her sweatshirt back on and some shorts, Christen doing the same thing before they snuggled since it was cold. It was that type of conversation that never ended until one fell asleep. The two ended up talking all night about all sorts of things that would just pop up. First it was about childhood stories or funny experiences back in the college days, then their families, then it was the origin of "Harry". 

Both of them maybe had four hours of sleep before Tobin’s alarm on her phone went off. Tobin kept snoozing the alarm but Christen got up after the first time it went off. She heard that knock on the door once she finished getting dressed, giving Tobin a kiss on the cheek and whispering to her that she loved her, again.

“You snore by the way…”

“I do not.” She rolled her eyes and opened the door to Moe wearing a pair of sweats and sweatshirt, “Thank you.”

“I slept. In this. For you. You owe me.”

She gave the straight-faced Moe a kiss on her forehead, scooching her body between the skinny girl and the door, “I owe you the world.”  
“Better not get used to it CHRIS!”

Allie opened the door right when Moe closed the door and Christen disappearing right around the corner, “So how many people know who the last person is?”

She waited for Ashlyn to get out of her room so that they can go eat breakfast in the cafeteria together before training, “Noone actually, aside from me and Carl. She didn’t say the name.”

_Hmm..._

The two joined the other girls that already beat them to the early team breakfast, Ali being in the mix. After introducing her to Ali, all three of them clicked. A lot of the girls were welcoming, happy at the earliest hour. Allie used some of her best jokes to get closer to the group of girls, telling Ali stories of Ashlyn when she was younger while Ashlyn just hid behind her hands.

In all honesty, Allie is a social butterfly. Getting to know the team wasn’t an issue for her. In fact, it was very easy. Maybe thirty minutes later, Christen walked into the room, acting surprised when she saw Allie, who got up instantly to give her the tightest hug imaginable.

“I can’t… breath…”

“Shhhh,” Her infamous bear hug was something Christen had to get used to, tapping on her arm like she was tapping out of a chokehold in a fight. Allie released some of the pressure but kept hugging her, “Thank you. For talking to Jill.”

“Whaaaa… I did not--OOOkay you’re welcome?” She changed directions once she felt the hug tighten as a cue not to play with her at this very, pristine moment, “Allie, you need to know that you were very close to landing the spot. This girl just beat you only because she led her team with the most goals.”  
“Andddd I have Tobin to thank for that.” She sighed and pulled away from the hug. It was known that Tobin was the goal scorer and all Allie did was assist. She looked away, not able to look at Christen because she felt embarrassed, like a charity case. But in reality, Christen just knew how Allie felt.

Because she was in the same exact position years ago after Sweden.

“Allie, you’re the type of player everyone wants on her team. Like, she could’ve picked any _real_  defender to fill some very big shoes. But she chose you for a reason,” She smiled and jabbed her finger into Allie’s chest lightly, “You’re not here as a last resort, you’re here for what you have to offer on the table. Versatility.”

Allie scrunched her nose, swearing to herself that Christen Press reads minds because this wasn’t the first time she said exactly what Allie needed to hear.

“How do you always know what to say.”

“Yeah, I ask her that all the time.” Christen moved to the side for Allie to give Tobin a warm embrace. Tobin was the one to speak up, “They’d be stupid enough not to want us together on the same squad Harry.”

"You already sh'kno."

Tobin backed away from the hug disregarding the appalling choice of slang, “She’s _right,_  you know…”

“Let’s be real Harry, I wouldn’t be me without you.”

Tobin cheesed and crossed her hands over her chest, “ _Reeeealllllly?_ ”

“Yep, I take it back.”

“No take backs Harry.”

“Taking it back.”

 


	16. Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me so long.... Ending this story was so much harder than writing it. Anyways, thank you guys for being patient. 
> 
> And songs I ended up having on repeat would be If you let me by Sinead Harnett, Dante's Creek by THEY.  
> Also, big shout out to Sar789 for being the awesome writer she is. Check out her shit for me;)

She thought that the professional environment was going to be a challenge. Maybe she had Coach Dorrance to thank for building her into the player she is now. However, Tobin knew deep down, she was _built_ for this. It was almost the same, except with players who have been playing for much longer than her.

The pace was faster, but Tobin has been preparing for this day to come for most of her life. The transition was smooth, all players welcoming Tobin and Allie with open arms. She was shy at first and surprisingly enough, it was Megan who helped her break out of her shell to show the team who she really is. That was when Tobin realized that she was never a rival nor one of those competitive teammates, but her friend.

You can’t blame Tobin either for being shy. It was like freshman year of high school all over again. Walking into the long halls of the new school that she will spend the next four years at, not knowing a single soul. And then came college, feeling the same exact way as she was introduced with the team. Or walking on a campus that was five times larger than her own high school back in Jersey that seemed nothing but an Alien Planet to her.

The end result was always the same though – everyone _loved_ Tobin.

Allie ended up going back for the dog, paying a charitable portion of her bonus, a bribe in Tobin’s eyes, to get the golden doodle back from the adoption clinic. She realized that she’s going to need a loving creature by her side and made it a goal to change the dog’s way of life.

A week passed by and it slowly became a normal routine for the two. Get up, facetime Christen in the morning, eat breakfast, go to practice, and study. For Allie, she woke up early to take Brody out every morning and gave him the proper attention a dog needed before dropping him off at his sitter. The dog meant so much more for Allie. His purpose wasn’t just for the love that golden doodles are known to give, it was the missing puzzle of making her home complete. That, she was more than ready to place down _roots_ and call Portland her home.

And then passed a week of nothing but slow torture, knowing that every day edged closer and closer towards the big reveal. And on that very last night, one thing was missing.

One _person_.

“I don’t know how I could do this… I miss you so much babe.” It was Tobin rubbed her eyes and let out a huge sigh of defeat, looking out at the tall window watching the rain rap against the cold glass.

“Can I just drop everything and catch a train to you?”

“No, no you can’t. It’s too late baby, be patient.”

“I can’t see that list without you.”

Her dark room lit up from the lightning, thunder crackling through the dark skies soon after. The whole moment was rather odd, hearing the same thunder on the other end of the line following a door that slammed shut.

“I mean, who says you have to?” Christen rushed her words trying to regain her breathing under control as she rushed inside the building. Tobin was too tired for her to connect the dots, her eyes fighting the sleep that her body needed.

“Where are you anyways…” She groaned out her answer as she moved to her side letting the phone get trapped between the side of her face and the pillow, “You’re being weird babe.”

“Hold on.” Christen hung up on Tobin and she didn’t even think twice about it. She stopped fighting the sleep and closed her eyes, dreaming of Christen laying down right next to her. She missed her running her fingers down the side of her body, missed faking sleep to continue feeling secure and safe right next to her.

She missed her warm body pressed against hers, how Christen would pepper kisses along her arms and along her jawline to wake her up. Long distance was the worst thing that Tobin has ever been through. Christen always reassured her that she was a phone call away, but that was a constant reminder in the fact that she couldn’t just drive down Eastwood Road and a right onto Lumina Avenue to reach Christen’s home.

Where it was just an hour away...

Has now turned into hours away.

“I’m right here.”

Tobin moaned softly half asleep, “I wish.” She smacked on her lips a couple of times not distinguishing between what was real and what her body craved. Until, she felt the weight of the bed shift beneath her. Her eyes shot open but her body remained still, squeezing her eyes back shut from the feel of Christen sweeping her hair to visibly see Tobin’s accentuated, tight jaw. She placed a kiss right below Tobin’s ears, snaking her arms around Tobin’s waist to press her body into hers.

She clearly took off her own pants and shirt before getting into the bed because she felt the silky smooth skin of her leg rubbing against her and the lacy material of her bra against her back as she scooted in closer. The small hairs on the back of Tobin’s neck rose at the small whisper against Tobin’s ear, “Did you fall asleep on me, my love?”

Tobin swallowed thickly as she clenched her thighs, “Yep, I am asleep right now.” She felt a hand drift past her panties and down her thigh, feeling her soft lips ghost over her throbbing pulse, nibbling and kissing as she played along with Tobin’s little white lie.

“Are you awake now?”

She missed how her heart would thump against her ribs rapidly and with power at the smallest touch. At how the tips of her nails would softly work against her contracted muscles of her strong thighs, leaving a trail of embers at their wake.

At how her fingers now travelled under her shirt would cause that shiver down her spine.

At how she would forget how to breathe when Christen teased her.

Tobin wasn’t wearing a bra, “This all feels like a-UGH…” Christen gave her breast a strong squeeze, stopping Tobin midsentence, twisting her whole body around and giving in. She pushed her weight onto Christen so she could throw her leg over Christen’s to straddle her girlfriend.

“A dream.” Christen finished the sentence and used her core to lift her upper body up to meet the lips she has been yearning for, like her body lacked the essential nutrients to live. Like her body, needed to taste Tobin once more after just a month.

Tobin’s lips were as soft as she could remember, tasting the cherry Chapstick made her shudder. Feeling her hips roll slowly against her own and the small moan that escaped Christen’s mouth and into the back of Tobin's throat worked the both of them up rather instantly.

Well, it worked Tobin up even more.

Once Christen ran her impatient yet slow tongue across Tobin’s lips who gave her access almost instantly was when Tobin started increasing the rhythm of her hips with Christen in sync as the kiss deepened further. Their tongues danced with passion and resilience, each taking turns to explore each other’s mouth to familiarize themselves with what they’ve been missing.

Tobin broke away from the kiss at the touch of Christen’s hands capturing each of her breasts and giving them a harder squeeze, rolling her head back as obscene words let loose. She shifted positions to where she was now riding Christen’s bare leg, grinding down harder, her hands kneading into Christen’s semi damp hair as the Reign player worked her neck.

She repeated the actions, biting down and sucking harder every time, leaving marks unintentionally, moaning at feel of Tobin’s wet center that seemed to grow exponentially against her leg.

Her own hips were moving uncontrollably, “T-Take this off now.” She was panting her words from how fast her heart was beating, unable to catch a breather but not wanting to either. Tobin agreed by lifting her hands up quickly, christen reading her mind and instinctively reaching for the shirt to rip it off of her.

She threw the thin, white cotton shirt to the side and stared at the chiseled core, running her hand up Tobin’s cleavage, feeling the thin layer of sweat that has already formed. She watched Tobin who watched her while capturing her own swollen lip, “I’ve been dreaming of this moment…” She took one, taut nipple and rolled it with her one two fingers, watching Tobin roll her head back and moan loudly. She felt her own wetness grow between her legs at the site and the sounds Tobin was making, urging her to do it one more time.

"Over and over again."

Tobin grinded down harder than she ever has, Christen driving up as she captured the same nipple with her mouth, swirling her tongue around it playfully before sucking as she worked the other breast with the same motion done before.

Hearing Tobin moan her name a little louder, cussing a few times and working faster and faster against her leg… Feeling her nails scratching against her scalp as Christen worked only _one_ part of her body had her so aroused, that she reached close to her own tipping point.

All her senses were overloaded with Tobin and her euphoria.

It made her realize however, that she didn’t want to make Tobin _just_ moan.

She wanted to make Tobin scream her name.

Both of their chests were heaving against each other after they broke apart from another long and battle filled kiss, “Please. I need you.” Tobin begged her to take it to the next level. Christen took her down with one swift move and stripped Tobin of her last piece of clothing, staring at the tan legs that were already wide apart.

Tobin was ready to be the labyrinth for Christen to explore tentatively, to feel her enrapturing tongue against her own center. To relieve herself of that strong, overpowering throb of her pulsepoint.

“Need me to do what?” Christen challenged, licking the inside of Tobin’s thigh and skipping past her treasure to plant an open kiss right at her hip. Tobin’s hips bucked upward as she gripped the rustic metal railing of the end of her bed frame, forcing herself to choke out the words that were at the tip of her tongue.

“To fuck me.”

Christen smirked and moved up to kiss Tobin her answer. Her lips ghosted over Tobin’s lips as she stared at the girl hungrily, who was struggling to blink at the feel of Christen putting pressure in between her legs with her palm intentionally, biting her own lip to stop her from saying anything else.

Squirming under Christen as she reveled in the touch, she tried once again.

“Christen-OOOH …” She felt a finger, wait not one but two, inside of her and she lost her breaths into Christen mouth who hovered over her watching her closely as she pumped in and out of her slowly. She felt Tobin move down into the movements for deeper access while her hands moved from the thin, metal bars to Christen’s strong back, scratching down at the smooth surface as she moaned her name loudly. Christen's adrenaline was pumping through her veins hearing her, increasing the pace and the number of digits.

She lived for the thrill, stealing kisses despite Tobin’s lost breath. Feeling Tobin’s walls clench onto her own fingers made it even hard for her to breath, knowing that Tobin was on the verge of crashing.

Christen pulled back from the kiss, taking Tobin’s bottom lip with her own teeth before going towards her neck, simultaneously torturing Tobin on both ends. She loved the feeling of Tobin's hand gripping the back of her neck, tasting the sweet sweat of her own doing.

She did absolutely everything she knew in her playbook to hear Tobin come down with an overwhelming wave of pleasure and emotions of her own orgasm. The best orgasm she has ever had, frying her circuit into flames.

Christen left her neck almost immediately, not giving Tobin any chance to regain her edge as she left open kisses down her strong abs that flexed with every touch before finding her place and licked the remains of her orgasm slowly, anchoring herself between Tobin’s clenched legs as she went in for round two.

But this time, with her tongue.

Putting Tobin’s body in complete overdrive.

Making this night the best night of Tobin’s life.

…

Tobin woke up smiling, feeling around her bed with her eyes closed to find Christen but she wasn’t there. She heard Spanish music playing from outside her room, urging her to get out of the large bed. She threw on a sweatshirt and looked in the mirror, “Good god.”

She ran her fingers through her hair in attempt to tame her wild hairs before walking out to see Christen dancing and humming along to one of Tobin’s favorite songs. She watched how Christen moved her hips, captivated by the long tan legs and how she looks in her own jersey.

She smiled while walking towards the girl who was flipping the pancake midair, the smell of bacon in the oven made her stomach grumble. Christen was startled by the two arms that snaked around her waist, “Ohhh I wanted to surprise you.”

“This smells amazing…” Tobin laughed and rested her chin right onto Christen’s shoulder, “You here, is the best surprise I could ask for.”

Christen put the pan on the stove and turned around smiling; the same one that always ended up painting a smile on Tobin’s face like it was muscle memory after seeing that smile. She brought her hands together behind Tobin’s neck as her long arms rested on her shoulders, placing a small kiss on Tobin’s lips, “You’re so beautiful.”

She turned back around to put the last banana pancake in the plate full of pancakes while Tobin watched behind her.

“Can this be forever?”

“Oh Tobin…” She turned back around but gave her a strong kiss, pulling away smiling as she brushed away the loose hairs around Tobin’s face. Her eyes watched the smile that formed on Tobin’s face, “Always.”

“Okay and can we skip breakfast?”

“No we need to eat…” Christen looked to the right and looked away, but performing a double take as she watched Tobin get rid of her blue sweatshirt as she peeked from her peripheral vision to see Christen’s reaction to her naked body.

“You’re good,” She shook her head laughing and started walking quickly after the girl, “Really. Good.”

“Don’t forget to turn off the oven!” Tobin called out as she was giggling, making Christen rush back over to the oven to mash the _clear_  button atleast four times. She heard the water run and it got her even more excited, running over to the restroom that slowly started to fill with steam.

She pulled the jersey over her head and opened the glass door to Tobin who was already beaming.

“What?”

Tobin turned the lever more to make the shower hotter. Luckily, the steaminess of the shower hid the blush that crept up on Tobin's face with the way Christen was smiling softly at her. Her eyes didn’t wonder, peering into the anxious eyes of her loved one.

A part of her wishes she could be stuck in this day forever, have it playing on repeat. She has never felt so much jubilation by just being with someone. To have her heart skipping beats by just peeking into those bright brown, curious eyes.

“You’re just... beautiful.”

“Christen…” She pulled her in by the waist into the water’s stream with her. Her hands locked around Christen’s waist as she kissed her gently, whispering the words while smiling against her lips.

“You said that already.”

“And I’m going to say it again,” She raised her chin up a little higher, “You. Are. Beautiful. Tobin Heath...”

She paused for a second, “...And I’m so lucky to be able to call you mine.”

“Oooo, a little possessive, are we?” She pushed her out of the stream and onto the tall, steamy glass that separated them from the real world. Tobin pinned her girlfriend’s hands above her head, Christen giggling at the contact and still sticking to what she said.

“All. Miiiine--” Tobin started to lean in smiling as her eyes drifted to Christen’s lips with want.

“--Yeaaaah yeah I’m all yours…” Tobin was about a centimeter away from kissing her until Christen spoke up again, “By the way, I-took-a peek at the list.”

Tobin’s head shot back like a cobra going into defense at the sudden feel of tightness in her chest, “And?”

“Aaaand…” Tobin raised her eyes as she held her breath while Christen toyed with her, “We’re on it!”

“NO?”  
“YES!”

“Holy shit!” She screamed and hugged Christen tightly, carefully spinning her around in the shower repeating the words over and over in disbelief, “Oh my god!! And Allie?!”

“Mmmmmm…She made it too!”

Tobin squealed and pushed her back against the wall, "I." Tobin pecked her with one kiss, "Love," And another, "You."

Christen locked Tobin's head in place and leaned in to give Tobin a strong, full kiss and looked into Tobin's spirited eyes. She was certain at this point, her jaw would start hurting because no matter how hard she tried to not smile, she would always lose.

"I love you."

\--

Fast forwarding one month later of practicing with the national squad, Tobin made it two hours early to the stadium. Everything was already prepared for them; their own jerseys were hung up next to their own enlarged cubby with all the other apparel on the chair. The lights were all out but every jersey was lit up by a small, circular light just above it.

All they had to do was wear the jersey and play Soccer. Scratch that, play in front of tens of thousands of people and children who admired every single one of the players deeply. To not only impress them, but make them proud, to honor them and the American flag. She feared to disappoint them, to not give them the result they wanted to see…and the last thing she wanted to do was hear the criticism of fans that might not give her a chance.

She knew the consequences of being an athlete this high up of the caliber. She expected hatred and criticism from fans that don’t understand what it’s like being in this position. After reading a few tweets about Rapinoe not starting, Tobin had to put her phone down. She got ridiculed and compared to a great without giving her a chance like the way Jill did.

And on top of that, she wasn’t on ESPN3 or 2 anymore while big basketball games were broadcasting on the other ESPN networks, no… she was on a television network that has ranked as the 5th most watched network in America.

She took a deep breath in, feeling the stiff crest and the stars on the jersey beneath her fingertips, closing her eyes as she remembered her mother saying _dreams do come true_.

All she had to do was believe.

She was nervous, knowing Jill was going to start her since she was the one that made the cut. Rapinoe wasn’t on it but Allie and Christen were, naming all three as a part of the starting eleven squad.

Playing in Portland kind of gave her a feel of how big the stadium was, feelings of her chest tightening when she walks onto the field didn’t disappear. The crowd wasn’t all too big with Portland whereas here in Philly, there was an expected twenty five _thousand_ to show up.

_I was made for this._

Tobin stood in the center, looking at the red bull insignia. Few months ago, she stood in the center of a field that only held five thousand. A few months ago, she was just a small town girl dreaming for her moment.

Now, she’s living the dream.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Tobin turned around smiling hearing the voice at a distance. She saw Christen standing at the tunnel with her hands stuffed in her black morph NorthFace jacket with army green skinny jeans and combat boots. She started walking towards Tobin who couldn’t move out of her spot, “You know, I’ve dreamt of this moment for…for so long. Telling myself, _‘I’m born for this’_ , and right now… I have this, this-this you know, knot in my stomach that’s not going…away. I’ve never, you know… felt this before.”

Tobin took a deep breath in after saying all that, the cold breeze slightly stinging her lungs, and looked out to the seats that made up the red bull symbol again.

"That's called being nervous," Christen kneeled down to feel the turf and looked up at Tobin, “No matter how hard you try, it’ll never go away. Because you’re not representing a school anymore, you’re representing a nation. Anddd…” She got back up and intertwined her own fingers with Tobin’s, squeezing lightly.

“They’re behind you Tobs.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Give it time, the only thing that changed is the atmosphere babe,” She turned Tobin around to face her, “What will never change is your heart, drive, and love for the game. Show them who _you_ are. Show them the Tobin I know.”

And slowly but surely that knot in her stomach started to unravel itself after she soaked in the words of her lover. She edged just a little closer and rested her hands on Christen’s hips, “You always know what to say, Christen Press.”

“Yeaaaah well…” She exaggerated a sigh and felt that warmth spread through her chest like a wildfire, “Who else is going to save you when you need saving?”

“My mom?”

“Shut up…” Christen stated laughing as she leaned in closer to find Tobin’s lips, “You’re amazing.”

Before she could answer _I know_ , Christen closed off the distance to kiss the girl in the center of the field.

\--

She ran with the ball down the field after playing it back a few times because of Germany’s unreal defense. Eighty minutes passed with neither side scoring, not able to find the hole needed or any of her forwards.

With Allie in the back, she was able to stop multiple attacks, expecting how each German attacker would try to go around her. The good thing is, Allie’s IQ in the sport is probably higher than all those attackers put together. If she wasn’t there to fill up the shoes of the now retired Christine Rampone, the team would probably be down 2-0.

Her lungs burned with every breath, feeling depleted of energy, feeling the ache in her muscles with each step. It used to never phase her but now, it did. Two defenders closed in on her in the corner as anticipated by Tobin.

No matter how tired Tobin was, she still found it in her to perform her duties as a wing player and create the plays. She faked once and cut back, one defender stuttered in her spot while her mark stayed on her.

But, it left a perfect hole for Tobin to do what she does best. She cut back again, now facing the enemy team’s goal, and shifted her weight on her back foot to propel her body to the side with the ball right in between the two German players with ferocity. She could see Christen towards the box with her and Lynn coming from the outer flank while she was at the corner of the outer box and saw that opening.

So she took that one breath in and believed in Christen. Believed that it was her time, that she was ready to send that ball right into the back of the net. She did this for USA yes, but ultimately it was for Christen.

To allow Christen to redeem herself and tell the world that Christen Press is back.

She leaned back slightly while bringing back her leg and eyeing exactly where she wanted the ball.

So she let go.

And setting the perfect pass to her teammate… Well, that was like second nature.

She could do that in her sleep.

Tobin perfectly set in front of Christen for her to rip it to the opposite post without even touching it once. She saw it in slow motion, watching Christen in her natural habitat rip the ball away, watching and thinking how proud she is of her girl.

_My girl. That's MY girl. Holy shit._

The whole crowd roared back to life disregarding the extreme weather conditions, screaming in excitement after seeing the ball connect with the back corner of the net. No matter how good the goalkeeper was, that ball wasn’t going to be stopped from reaching its final destination. Even if she dived right on time to deflect the ball, she wouldn't have been able to from how perfectly placed and curved that ball was from Christen. 

Chills ran down her spine when Christen turned to look at her with a gleaming smile on her face, hands up in the sky, _exactly_ the way Tobin does her celebration. She found herself sprinting to Christen like she was magnetically attracted to her, following what her legs are instructing her to do.

She lifted her up and spun Christen around screaming over the crowd, “I knew you could do it!!!” Repeating the words over and over as she hugged her tightly. She brought her back down and Christen was still laughing away with a fistful of Tobin’s jersey with her eyes filling up with tears, “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“For what? That was ALL you babe, all--”

“No,” Their team started to gather around them but Christen had her eyes trained only on Tobin, “Thank you for everything. I wouldn’t be here without you. Hell, I wouldn’t be me without you.”

It was the SheBelieves cup for every one of these players but for Christen, it meant so much more. It was her comeback story. A story, that wouldn’t have happened without the girl that hugged her so tightly. Like, enough to bring joyous tears to her eyes. Tears that didn’t just represent her happiness, but all the appreciation she had felt towards Tobin Heath.

She dedicated all her blood, sweat, and tears towards this one sport and all her life, it was like the universe was telling her that her only purpose was being on the field. But, the universe was wrong. That wasn’t her  _only_ purpose.

Her truest purpose was on the field _with her._

Being, right next to her. 

And she wouldn’t have wanted to share this moment with anyone else.

Having no other words to say but...

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

Here's why I wrote this:

I’ve gone through something very similar to Christen… I’ve had three concussions (lied about two, classic. Don't lie guys. Biggest mistake you can ever make), recurring problem with tendinitis, bursitis, and an ACL sprain. In the same knee. I know right, I’m only 20. Like, what the actual fuck? I mean, add that to the long list of fuck-ups in my life. Maybe it was not as bad as Christen’s knee but hey it was up there. I quit midway through the season of junior year in HS after my ACL injury because I let my fears get to me, scared on the field or court rather than enjoying the games I love and for another reason.

And not a day goes by where I wonder what could have been. What if I didn’t quit? What if my mom just, pushed me to overcome my fears of… being inadequate, of failing again... instead of giving me an ultimatum and being the support system I needed so badly during that time. 

What if I just, went to therapy or got more treatment. Would I be like my former teammate who plays D1 or my best friend who tells me all her stories with her teammates? I mean seeing them, I get jealous. It’s bad, I know. Hell, I’m human.

I didn’t chase after my dream but Christen did and look at where she is in my story. Happy. Her story proves that there’s a reason behind everything, even if it’s the worst thing that could happen to you… There’s still a purpose. I guess haven’t found mine yet.

Christen… she discovered who she was with Tobin. And in the end, she didn’t let her injuries define her. Look at Tobin… she chased after someone and never quit on something that helped shape her into a better person. In the end, she got her back. With PATIENCE.

So it’s not about how you fall, it’s about how you get up. 

Chase after what you love. Do what YOU want to do with love and resilience. Love who you love with passion and know that there is no limit to love. And don’t ever quit out of fear of failure -- just be patient. And more importantly...

Never, ever, ever, let someone stop you from doing what you love. Never let someone else write YOUR story.

**Can’t thank each and every one of you enough for reading my story, in a way I poured my heart into it… Into perfecting Christen’s story.**

**And coming to terms with mine.**  

 

Love,

 

AGirlHasNoName 


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